S.C.O.R.P.I.O. (on hiatus)

[Menek]

S.C.O.R.P.I.O. is currently on hiatus and will be booted back up after the rewrite.

Might I recommend the mirror?
(It's easier to sort through and read is all)

Tumblr found here, where I dump useless bloodswap garbage, and you can ask the bloodswappees things if you so desire.

NOTE: Vriska, Eridan, Aradia, and bits and pieces of Karkat's introductions are due for some major revamping. I recommend skipping to Nepeta until I've got those done.

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Begin.



Your name is VRISKA SERKET. You are currently standing around and staring into space because you are BORED. For the record, today is NOT your SIXTH WRIGGLING DAY, which wouldn't have really been worth mentioning and wouldn't have made your day any less BORING. After all, it's just a sweeply routine to lament the faults of your worthless, probably very short life. Your life has all of the faults. All of them.

You are somewhat lacking in the interest department, as your ETERNAL FRUSTRATION WITH EVERYTHING EVER causes you to get upset and drop them easily, and you cannot partake in any sort of team physical activity for reasons YOU DO NOT CARE TO DIVULGE. The only constants you have ever had are SOLO RUNS to keep yourself fit, watching PIRATE MOVIES OF VARYING QUALITY (that you still get sick of individually), and listening to GORDYN SUMNER, also known as STING. You don't care what people think, his voice could rival your BARDAGGEDON FRIEND.

From time to time you attempt to speak to your pals and frienemies, almost all of which GET ON YOUR VERY LAST NERVE. Note the almost. A few of them ACTUALLY HAVE SOME SANITY that rubs off on you while the OTHER CHUMPS DRIVE YOU UP A FUCKING WALL, and your gratitude for their existence is as eternal and constant as your previously mentioned frustration. Even if you are pretty sure they only humor your socially maladjusted ass out of platonic pity.

Your trolltag is alloantiGeneticist and you TALK 1N A WAY THAT 1S SHORT AND TO THE PO1NT AS A WAY OF VENT1NG YOUR RAGE.

Now that that's out of the way, you can either continue to stare into space until something happens, or you can actually do something semi-productive with your time. The choice is yours.

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Fanart over here!

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(by Renegade Electron)


(by King of Clubs)


(by SkyKat)


(by Gigoergong)


(by boogoboogo)

[ArchmageFestus]

> Fondly regard poster of Troll Johnny Depp.

((I don't normally check the cradle, but... what can I say, you had a cool looking banner. XD ))

[DoubleOhAlly]

> Examine Gun.

[Menek]

I don't normally check the cradle, but... what can I say, you had a cool looking banner. XD

awww yeah, it worked. >:D

Also as a note to everyone; I probably won't be able to update anymore tonight due to homework bluh bluh, but I will be able to tomorrow. I proooomise.

[Monkeysky]

Looks pretty good so far. Even though Grey Vriska is already in Calamity's bloodswap, I like the hair here. How do you get the hives made?

[ShadowOfFate]

>Look out window.

[Menek]

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okay I lied, have a quick update

>Fondly regard Troll Johnny Depp poster.



Oh.
Um.
Well.
You...you would. You honestly, truly would. Johnny is an enigma and a blessing on trollkind. But...you...

You...

You threw your Troll Johnny Depp poster away.

You still think it was the single worst decision of your life, and regret it deeply. Johnny will forever be in your heart, though, with or without a constant reminder nailed to your wall.


>Examine gun.



This old thing? There's not much to examine.
It's a standard Skorpion vz. 61. Aside from a magically self-replenishing and infinite bullet supply that you still can't explain, it's pretty unremarkable. But damn if it doesn't get the job done.
The job being protecting your anonymous ass from too-curious trolls.

Did you mention you found it in a crater?

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...it'll get better. I promise.

[Failguy]

Flashback to when you found the gun in the crater.

[Menek]

>Flashback to when you found the gun in the crater.



What? Really?
That story's not really interesting, especially since finding things in craters really isn't that uncommon on Alternia. People have found things way more intriguing than a submachine gun that defies the very laws of existence, like that journal one of your frienenemies has that is apparently chock full of exposition on some dead pirate asshole's life hundreds of sweeps ago.
But that's a story for another time and place.

You wanted a flashback, you're getting a flashback.

>3 sweeps in the past...



...you lived in this ugly dump in the middle of fuck nowhere.
Except not really, because you STILL LIVE IN IT. God damn. At least you had the sense later on to take off those ugly sails. What were you even thinking, building a hive that looks like a pirate ship?

Whatever.
What were you doing this fine Alternian night?





















...Oh.
Right.
Not one of your finest moments, was it?

Your are now VWISKA VRISKA SERKET circa THREE SWEEPS AGO, and you HATE SITTING IN THE NAUGHTY CORNER.

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apologies for my bad art and any retinal harm and/or death caused by it

@Monkeysky: ...Ummmm. Erm. I...am the worst at explaining things, especially art things, I am so sorry OTL
The most I can say is to make two lines meet at the bottom of the picture, then make another line straight up where they meet, then color them all different shades???

i am the worst teacher. its me

[Failguy]

What did you do now?

[Menek]

>What did you do now?



You didn't do ANYTHING! You're innocent!

...
Okay, so maybe you went outside past curfew. But you have very good, totally legal reasons for doing so and your lusus is a big fat worrywart butthead for not letting y-



?!

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BAMF = ???
also scribble mode isn't as funny when I do it

Working on the next part, don't worry. I'm just throwing this up here just in case I don't get to update anymore before school.

[Menek]

Well that was slightly disconcer-



-Hey.
Where'd you go?













Yeah, okay, that wasn't really a surprise. You ARE only three, after all.

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whoops I doubled posted.
too lazy to edit the other one, bite me.

also how do i draw crater

[Failguy]

Investigation!

[Menek]

======>



Oh my god you are so excited.
What could await you in this crater? What could the meteor gods or whatever the fuck they are have bestowed upon you today? Long lost tomes? Sufficiently advanced alien technology? Weapons of mass destruction? A source of god-like powers?!

But no, your reward this fateful day is...

Is...



...






What.

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Oh, and to everyone, just because I don't automatically respond to commands doesn't mean they won't ever get used. I've still got the "Look out the window" one on hold.
But you guys probably already knew that because ur smart

P.S. I got really lazy with the 2nd panel, sorry :P I won't make a habit of it.

[Failguy]

Wallow in anger.

[Aetrop]

>Walk over to it and pick it up. A gun's better than nothing.

[Menek]

>Walk over and pick it up. One gun's better than no gun, right?



Well, that's true, but you still feel cheated. All the possibilties and outcomes for this scenario, and you get this average-looking gun that probably broke on the way here. At least, it LOOKS like an average gun.
But your eyesight's never been good.

Miffed as you are, you go to get the guwait what's that noise?



Oh. Right.
Makes sense that she would hear the crash too.

It's just not your lucky night, is it.



You allow yourself to be taken and placed back in the CORNER, mainly because the disappointment took most of the fight out of you and you haven't yet hit the more violent stages of your growth cycle.

Your lusus would later go out to get the gun and proceed to hide it from you until your FIFTH WRIGGLING DAY, when you would be strong enough to hold it and smart enough not to shoot yourself in the face. At the same time, you would also finally be allowed to wander away from your hive.

It was during one such exposition that you found out the gun was special, specifically when you took out a group of rogue beasts all on your own.

But that's enough exposition! We better get back to you in the present.

>Back to the present.



We are now back to- hey.
Girl.
You there, girl.
Who said you could get on the computer?
Get off of it until we tell you to.





Don't you glare at me like that. You know the rules.





Wait. What? How did you...?
You know what. Fine. Have it your way. I don't care.

Who will you troll this fine hour? Or, perhaps, who will troll you?

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...that doesn't seem like forced interaction, does it? I hope not.
and yes the whole "doesn't throw away commands" thing is still here. Though they may get slightly different contexts.

Also whoever we troll becomes automatically elligible for intros! Yay.

[Aetrop]

>Troll acuteCataclysm

[Failguy]

Troll the crap out of carcinoGeniality!

[CalamityCons]

> troll CA

[ArchmageFestus]

Um, let's be more vague here...
> Troll your moirail.

[Menek]

>Troll your moirail.



What moirail?





>Troll CG.

Might as well. You DO have some unfinished business with them.

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alloantiGeneticist [AG] began trolling carcinoGeniality [CG]

AG: HEY.
CG: Yes?
AG: THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YES?
AG: YOU TOLD ME TO TROLL YOU THE NEXT T1ME 1 GOT BORED.
AG: WELL GUESS WHAT, 1'M BORED NOW.
AG: SO YOU BETTER TELL ME WHAT THE HORNSUCK1NG FUCK TH1S 1S FOR.
CG: Uh, What?
CG: I NEVER told you That.
AG: YES YOU FUCK1NG D1D.
CG: No I fucking DIDN'T.
AG: OH, REALLY NOW.
AG: LET ME JUST COPY AND PASTE EXACTLY WHAT YOU SA1D.
AG: CG: Vriska, I Need you to Do Something for me.
AG: AG: OH NO YOU DON'T. NOT AGA1N.
AG: AG: 1 A1N'T FALL1NG FOR ANOTHER 1 OF YOUR DUMBASS TR1CKS.
AG: CG: Vriska, that WASN'T a Trick!
AG: CG: We've ALREADY been Over this.
AG: AG: YEAH, AND 1 ST1LL TH1NK YOU'RE FULL OF SH1T.
AG: CG: Okay, FINE. I LIED. You DON'T need to do this for ME.
AG: CG: But you DO need to do it for Everyone Else.
AG: CG: You Don't even Know what I'm going to ask, Do You?
AG: AG: NO, AND 1 DON'T CARE.
AG: AG: GET SOME1 ELSE TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK 1T 1S.
AG: CG: Vriska, I CAN'T.
AG: CG: It HAS to Be YOU. NO ONE ELSE can do it!
AG: AG: YEAH FUCK1NG R1GHT. DO 1 LOOK STUP1D TO YOU?
AG: CG: Oh My GOD.
AG: CG: WHY are you Being So DIFFICULT?
AG: CG: Can you Just STOP this immature Bullshit and Hear Me Out?
AG: CG: PLEASE?
AG: CG: PRETTY Please?
AG: CG: Pretty Please with Exactly ONE cherry on top of ONE ounce of whipped cream on top of ONE pound of ice cream?
AG: CG: Oh GREAT, LOOK at what you just Did.
AG: CG: Here I Am, Throwing myself At Your Feet and PLEADING with you like some Poor Sap on the Wrong End of the Condesce's culling staff.
AG: CG: Except it's IMPOSSIBLE to get back on the Right End, because BOTH ends are Wrong Ends.
AG: CG: So No Matter WHAT I Do, I'm LITERALLY Royally Fucked and have been reduced to Trying to squeeze at LEAST a drop of Platonic Pity out of a bloodpumper that Couldn't Even Feel blackrom if it walked up and STABBED It.
AG: CG: I Hope You're HAPPY, Serket.
AG: AG: ...
AG: AG: HOLY SH1T.
AG: AG: OKAY, 1'M L1STEN1NG.
AG: CG: Finally.
AG: CG: Now, What I need you to Do is Simple; troll me when you Next get Bored.
AG: AG: UH.
AG: AG: WHY?
AG: CG: You'll see.
AG: CG: I Have to Go now.
AG: CG: See you Later, Vriscake. <3
AG: AG: WA1T, WHAT?
CG: WHAT the Fuck.
CG: Did you SERIOUSLY have to paste The WHOLE log?
CG: Was that REALLY Necessary?
AG: YES, 1T WAS. NOW SHUT YOUR TRAP AND READ 1T.
CG: Oh.
AG: EXACTLY.
CG: But I Don't remember typing ANY of that.
CG: And that Last Line...
AG: 1'M TRY1NG NOT TO TH1NK ABOUT 1T.
CG: Good idea.
AG: SO WHAT YOU'RE TRY1NG TO SAY 1S THAT 1 JUST WASTED MY T1ME CONTACT1NG YOU?
CG: Probably.
CG: Wait.
CG: I THINK I know where I can get an Answer.
CG: Give me About ten minutes.
AG: F1NE.
-- carcinoGeniality [CG] is now an idle troll! --

Now to just sit here and wait unti-

>Get trolled by AC.

Oh what the hell.

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acuteCataclysm [AC] began trolling alloantiGeneticist [AG]

AC: :3 < oh man vriskers ~{
AC: :3 < youre just the cat i was wanting to see ~{
AG: OH GOD.
AG: 1 CAN ALREADY TELL 1'M GO1NG TO REGRET TH1S, BUT HERE GOES; WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?
AC: :3 < man i totally found something on the beach this morning ~{
AC: :3 < but i cant tell what it is man ~{
AC: :3 < its all shiny and round and stuff ~{
AC: :3 < you know what im meowing about? ~{
AG: NO, BECAUSE THERE'S ABOUT 1 MILL1ON "SH1NY ROUND THINGS" THAT EX1ST.
AG: HOW ABOUT YOU TRY NOT BE1NG A MORON FOR 1CE AND BE MORE SPEC1F1C.
AC: :3 < oh okay ~{
AC: :3 < so its covered in spines and spots and stuff ~{
AC: :3 < and its got these big lips like :B ~{
AC: :3 < awww its smiling at me! ~{
AG: ...
AG: PUT THE PUFFERF1SH BACK IN THE OCEAN.
AC: :3 < oh man this is a puffer? ~{
AC: :3 < i wonder what he puffs haha ~{
AC: :3 < im totally cooking this guy up ~{
AG: NO YOU'RE FUCK1NG NOT.
AG: THOSE TH1NGS ARE PO1SONOUS.
AG: HEY.
AG: AC?
AG: PLEASE ME YOU'RE NOT GO1NG TO EAT 1T.
AG: OH GOD 1 W1SN'T K1DD1NG YOU SER1OUSLY CAN'T EAT TH1SE
AG: ANSW1R ME YOU STUP1D S1CK OF SH1T
AC: :3 < what? ~{
AC: :3 < sorry vriskers i totally spaced ~{
AG: OH.
AG: OH FUCK YOU, 1 THOUGHT YOU WENT AND ATE THAT PUFFERF1SH.
AC: :3 < nah man ~{
AC: :3 < i put my ears up when people tell me not to do things because they know what theyre meowing about and i purrobably dont ~{
AG: THAT'S...
AG: WELL, FUCK.
AG: WHY DOESN'T EVERY1 DO THAT?
AC: :3 < i dunno man ~{
AC: :3 < but anyways im going to go toss this little dude back to the catfish ~{
AC: :3 < nice catting with you vriskers ~{

acuteCataclysm [AC] ceased trolling alloantiGeneticist [AG]

Now to get back to-

>Get trolled by CA.



...
Rage. BUILDING.

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codingAptitude [CA] began trolling alloantiGeneticist [AG]

CA: hey vvris.
AG: NO.
AG: FUCK NO.
AG: HELL FUCKING NO.
AG: 1'VE ALREADY TROLLED 1 DUMBASS AND BEEN TROLLED BY ANOTHER DUMBASS.
AG: 1 DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH A TH1RD 1, GOT 1T?
CA: wwoww, wwhat the fuuck?
CA: i wwas juust goinn to tell youu that i finnished fixinn youur portable huusktop.
CA: youu're fuuckinn wwelcomme.
AG: OH.
AG: THANKS.
CA: wwhatevver.
CA: juust pick it uup whenn youu're ready or sennd sommeonne, i donn't care.

codingAptitude [CA] ceased trolling alloantiGeneticist [AG]

Okay, NOW let's get back to CG.
Looks like he left the conversation, but he left a few messages.

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CG: I found out why.
CG: The CG that contacted you Wasn't Me.
CG: Or at least Wasn't ALPHA Me.
CG: He came from a timeline where you were Dead, Vriska.
CG: Whatever the Gl'bgolyb-loving Fuck that means.
CG: I Think I'm Going To Sleep, Now.
CG: Have a Nice night and DON'T FUCKING DIE this time, okay?

carcinoGeniality [CG] ceased trolling alloantiGeneticist [AG]

...

Well, that was highly disconcerting and somewhat confusing. Timelines? Alpha me? What?
It's a shame you'll probably never hear the full story! Oh well.

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huge update is huge and full of words
HAVE FUN READING THAT.
pesterlogs are fun and make me happy you guys.

also I can't draw hands or animate sob

[Failguy]

Think of all the alternate timelines.

[Menek]

Oops I put "Doomed" timelines.
Let me just.
Fix that.
no one must ever know

You guys can totally switch characters now if you want to. You can chose from either CA, CG, or AC, since I follow the pesterlog-first-intro-later rule of Homestuck. And yes I will use their tags until introduced because I am a dork okay? Okay.

(P.S. CG is NOT the Hero of Time. I'll explain why and how and whatnot later and more in-depth, I just wanted you to know we're not having an expy jade!Eridan up in here.)

[Aetrop]

>Troll your kismesis