Royally Screwed- yet another SBURB adventure

[spycomic29]

> Edmund: Observe tiny animals

> Tiny animals: Become mutant bunny rabbits

> Mutant bunny rabbits: Become mutant runny babbits

[Assorted Nonsense]

>STRIFE

[curiousTerminal]

==>



The story switches gears just in time for the author to animate a Flash again.

You're now this dude. He'd tell you his name, but it's classified, and he sucks at pseudonyms. He'd ask you to help, but he's not the narrator, either.

What should this guy's pseudonym be?

[Naristar]

John Law

[spycomic29]

John Porter

[cryptidWrangler]

>GOVERNMENTAL ANALSCRUBBER
>OBEDIDIOT JIZZGARGLER
>STAN BLACK

[curiousTerminal]

>Enter name



You make a mental note to put out a warrant for the arrest of this smartass later.

>Try again



Right, cool



Your pseudonym is STAN BLACK. Your love for THE AMERICAN COUNTRY is SO STRONG you one day hope to defend it as a member of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. As such you have begun practicing elements you're sure are needed such as DISGUISE, SHORT, TO-THE-POINT STATEMENTS, CLASSIFICATION OF UNNEEDED DETAILS, and NOT SHOWING EMOTION TO THOSE WHO DO NOT NEED TO SEE THEM.
Your online antagonist, abstruceConspracy pretty much hates your guts. You used to try and block her, but she always got around them somehow, so you quit trying. She recently blamed you as being "in on" the development of a game, currently in a Beta release. This piqued your interest as to what it was, so you looked up some of the ads for it and decided to order it online. It came yesterday, so there won't be any shenanigans trying to get to it.
You do, however, have a great deal of studying you need to do if you're to pass your own self-created test on regulations and rules. You could either do that, or try to play SBURB with Erika, or whatever she decided to call herself this week.

[Varkarrus]

Retrieve arms from arms.

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Wait whassisname never prototyped anythign!

[Assorted Nonsense]

>Stan: Fistbump the Uncle Sam poster

[spycomic29]

Stan: Hack into government missile systems and show off your strongness.

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Hey guys, if you like this story, be sure to check out my awesome Forum Adventure, "Christmas in Torchia"! It's gone silent and I need more readers/commands, because it is entirely reader-driven!

[curiousTerminal]

>Stan: Retrieve arms from arms



You retrieve your PISTOL from your METAPHYSICAL ARMORY, which is your fancy name for the STRIFE DECK, which you allocated to PISTOLKIND. You put it away though, since there's no reason whatsoever to use it right now.

>Stan: Fistbump the Uncle Sam poster



You're far too short to do so!

[Drillgorg]

Stan: Hack into government missile systems and show off your strongness.

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Hey guys, if you like this story, be sure to check out my awesome Forum Adventure, "Christmas in Torchia"! It's gone silent and I need more readers/commands, because it is entirely reader-driven!

Advertising your adventure in someone else's thread without their permission is pretty rude!

[Naristar]

pester somebody

[curiousTerminal]

>Stan: Examine computer



Hm? Someone's pestering you.

>Stan: Answer them

Show Pesterlog

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-- abstruceConspiracy [AC] began pestering governmentAllotment [GA] --

AC: stan what the fuck
AC: how dare you take part in a conspiracy such as the one that made that game that is going to KILL EDMUND
AC: he's far too innocent to actually see the evil in anything you do
AC: luckily im not
GA: Finished?
AC: NO I AM NOT
GA: Too bad.
GA: Ive said before.
GA: The game is not mine.
GA: I did not make it.
GA: Go away.
AC: like hell i will
GA: Again, too bad.

-- governmentAllotment [GA] ceased pestering abstruceConspiracy [AC] --

-- abstruceConspiracy [AC] began pestering governmentAllotment [GA] --

AC: oh hell no you cant just close the window
GA: Right.
GA: As long as you're here…
GA: Edmund's playing?
AC: YES YOU DUMBASS
AC: so is erika
AC: who by the way didn't listen to me either when i told her not to play
AC: so thanks a lot for the hypnotizer jackass its doomed 2 people today alone
AC: if people had actually lived long enough to tell me how to live through the missiles id have told them
GA: Okay, stop.
GA: First: No missiles.
GA: Second: Hypnotism is a sham.
GA: Third: I had nothing to do with this.
GA: Fourth: I resent your accusations towards the American Government.
AC: jesus christ i think that might be the longest thing ive ever seen you type
GA: Don't get used to it.

-- governmentAllotment [GA] ceased pestering abstruceConspiracy [AC] --

-- abstruceConspiracy [AC] began pestering governmentAllotment [GA] --

AC: quit it
GA: No.

-- governmentAllotment [GA] ceased pestering abstruceConspiracy [AC] --

-- abstruceConspiracy [AC] began pestering governmentAllotment [GA] --

AC: AAAARGH
AC: I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS STAN

-- governmentAllotment [GA] ceased pestering abstruceConspiracy [AC] --

-- abstruceConspiracy [AC] began pestering governmentAllotment [GA] --

AC: JUST

-- governmentAllotment [GA] ceased pestering abstruceConspiracy [AC] --

-- abstruceConspiracy [AC] began pestering governmentAllotment [GA] --

AC: YOU

-- governmentAllotment [GA] ceased pestering abstruceConspiracy [AC] --

-- abstruceConspiracy [AC] began pestering governmentAllotment [GA] --

AC: WAAAAIT

-- abstruceConspiracy [AC] ceased pestering governmentAllotment [GA] --

You then proceed to have another conversation we've already seen.

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Remind me to never do the pesterlog color codes after typing them up. It takes FOREVER to actually make them look good.

[spycomic29]

Play Sburb.

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I wouldn't advertise unless I either had permission or personally knew the guy.

[cryptidWrangler]

>Be AC

[curiousTerminal]

I just realized I accidentally wrote a for AC and GA.
Good thing this is never going to have any trolls, because that would make this far more complicated than it needs to be!

[spycomic29]

Yes. Yes it would.

[Naristar]

try to see if anything has happened to your other friends liike she said

[curiousTerminal]

>Stan: See if anything happened to Erika



Hmph. Talking to her always leaves a sour taste in your mouth. Though everything she says does usually have a certain grain of truth to it. Maybe you should contact Erika, just in case.

Show Pesterlog

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-- governmentAllotment [GA] began pestering animeAficionado [AA] --

GA: Hello.
AA: Oh hey~
GA: You're playing SBURB?
AA: Yeah~
GA: Anything
GA: *Ahem*
GA: "Terrifying" happen yet?
AA: Uh
AA: No
AA: Why do you ask
GA: AC, of course.
GA: All my dumb questions stem from her
AA: Lol
AA: Nothing really AAH SCARY has happened yet but
GA: Yes?
AA: Im putting down all this baka stuff and Edmund doesn't know what it does
AA: I don't either
AA: Oh wait hold on
GA: Holding.
AA: He suddenly knows everything now
GA: Is it "kakoii"?
AA: YES~
GA: Well then.
GA: Fixed, then?
AA: Uh huh~
GA: SBURB is multiplayer, correct?
AA: Yeah duh I wouldn't be playing with Edmund if it wasn't
AA: Silly Stan~
GA: Later on we should play.
GA: The only other person who has it is...
GA: Let's say…
GA: Irreversibly insane.
AA: Lol yeah she is
AA I gotta get back to Edmund he just made some crazy thermometer thing from nowhere
GA: Alright.
GA: Wait, what?

--animeAficionado [AA] ceased pestering governmentAllotment [GA] --

==>



What's happening?
Why have all women gone crazy?

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Would you believe that googling "Scribbly angry tornado" shows up nothing like the one in the first image?

[cryptidWrangler]

>Legally acquire a copy of sburb via digital retail.
>Install.

[spycomic29]

>Legally acquire a copy of sburb via digital retail.
>Install.

> ILLegally acquire copy of sburb.

[curiousTerminal]

He already has SBURB, guys. Rule 1 of the FBI: Tell no secrets
Rule 2 is the one about being prepared.

[Assorted Nonsense]

>Stan: Contemplate why you set up the poster so you cannot fistbump your man Sam.

>Stan: Do something rampantly PATRIOTIC to make up for it.

[Naristar]

see if you can get in on the team action