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[Ashtastic]

CONVERSATIONLOG:

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hey kk?

What do you want?

do you ever wonder if we're not the only oneth out there?

What the hell are you going on about?

like do you ever wonder if thereth other life out there.

Like aliens and shit?

yeth.

No, why would I ever give a fuck about that?

well i'm jutht athking. if you've ever thought about it. eckthtraterrethtrial life and all that. like a culture thimilar two our own, and people, or alienth, i guethh, thitting thomewhere on their home planet, doing the eckthact thame thing we're doing?

Just sitting there.

yeth.

And looking at the fucking sunset.

yeah!

That's fucking stupid, Sollux. Why would there be any other life out there besides us?

can you at leatht try to imagine what it would be like?

No, because I'm too busy RESPECTING MY OWN GODDAMN SANITY.

god kk you're tho fucking denth.

What the fuck is 'denth' supposed to mean?

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CONVERSATIONLOG:

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you know i have a fucking lithp goddamn it.

That doesn't excuse you from being horribly ridiculed because of it, now does it?

fuck, do you theriouthly not believe in life on other planetth? at all?

No. The concept is immature and absolutely fucking idiotic. There's only us. And THAT'S IT. Can you fucking drop it already?

tho no other planet in the millionth of planetth that eckthitht hath the pothibility to harbor any life whatthoever.

Exactly. See, you should listen to yourself more often, though I know it's probably hard hearing yourself through the barrage of 'th' sounds you incessantly make. Jesus fuck, do you ever get tired of that?

kk can you shut the fuck up.

Hey, asshole, you were the one who wanted to talk about fucking ALIENS, not me.

fine, can you jutht, not be a douche, for all of three thecondth.

Fucking sure, just gimme a second to give a shi--

HONK.

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what the fuck ith that?

BEEEEEEP.

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Oh goddamn it, my mother is here.

pfft hahahaha.

Yeah, laugh it up fuckass, you're not getting a ride home.

whatever. have fun being locked in your room for the night.

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CONVERSATIONLOG:

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Have fun sitting here ALONE while I go and fuck around with my dumbass family.

yeah, good luck, man.

I still think that shit is a lighthouse.

it'th a fucking buoy man.

WELL FUCK YOU TOO.

KARKAT VANTAS GET IN THE CAR IT'S GOING TO RAIN.

MOM!

pfft.

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CONVERSATIONLOG:

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Thanks for picking me up so goddamn early.

It's getting late, and it's about to rain; it's best that I brought you home now.

Whatever... is everyone home?

Yes. Why do you ask?

No reason.

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You fucking hate that clown.

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WHY IS IT STILL FUCKING RAINING?

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You are now KARKAT VANTAS, and you are standing in your room, alone, fearing to go downstairs for light of INTERACTION with your FUCKING FAMILY.

You would've preferred to stay at your BEST FRIENDS house today, but apparently the FUCKING WEATHER got in the way of those plans, and now you're stuck in here, with only the solace of your computer and the disappointing qualities of the rain pouring outside.

Despite the situation you are in, you have a large number of FRIENDS/ACQUAINTANCES/ASSHOLES YOU KNOW. Most people you know fit in that last category, and you usually talk to these people over PESTERCHUM, on your computer. You also have a deepset interest in TELEVISION SHOWS FROM THE LATE 1990s, and have various posters hanging around your room of them. You are interested in CODING but AREN'T VERY GOOD AT IT.

Apart from these interests and barring ones that you'd rather not talk about, you have a fondness for NEAR-MARINE SEMI-AQUATIC LIFE, and in fact, have a PET CRAB downstairs. But you probably won't see him today if you want to avoid your family, which is PRIORITY NUMBER ONE.

Your Pesterchum handle is coagulatedGenealogy, and you tend to get really fucking angry at everyone, ALL THE GODDAMN TIME.

Apart from that, today is your birthday. You don't really give a flying fuck, but then, everyone else seemed to, when it was a thing. But now it's night and nobody gives a shit. It's fine by you. At least your parents didn't neglect you enough to not name you until 13.

What will you do?

[Edo Nagori]

>Karkat: Log on to your computer and look up random things that pertain to your interests, only to get pestered by one of your friends.

[killerCephalopod]

Contemplate the existence of alien life forms

(Man, this looks fuckin' awesome. Will totally follow this.)

[OrangeAipom]

> Comb your hair down and try to look like Daria.

[indecisivelyIncisive]

> Roll around on your rolling chair while pretending it is an alien spaceship.

[Chwoka]

Ask yourself why you wear such baggy, unflattering clothes.

[Snowmanne]

>Rant about how much you hate video games, and will never play one, especially if it was named Sbrub or Sgrub

[Aetrop]

>Watch a romance movie

[Chwoka]

kill your self why dont cha

[Loreweaver]

> Log on to Pesterchum, looking for that girl you've got a crush on but won't admit.

[frostedWarlock]

Examine the other wall of your room. Maybe you have some sort of gaming device to play with.

[TheFinalWraith]

Allocate anger to strife specibus.

[OrangeAipom]

Ask yourself why you wear such baggy, unflattering clothes.

Maybe because his body is even more unflattering. anorexia nervosa

[Oven]

>Complain about family.

[Loreweaver]

Allocate anger to strife specibus.

I like this one.

[ofdyadsanddystopias]

>Exposit on the ASSHOLES YOU KNOW.

[slitheringRemnant]

>Be CRABBY

[The NL Penguin]

> Show us the rest of your room?

[Copygoo]

>Familial exposition.

[littlebeasti]

> littlebeast: Fail to produce an interesting command, but follow the thread anyway.
You do this.

[Xanaboy13]

Adventure: Be cool.

Karkat: Tell us about friends.

[Grand Mal]

>Karkat: Have a devoutly christian ances- I mean father.

[Redux]

Get trolled by those ASSHOLES that always give you migraines.

[MrHedge64]

Unlock godlike CRAB POWERS, rule over IDIOTS with IRON PINCER.

[Roselalonde]

> Troll.