You Are Now A Ghost [TEXT]

[LordHyper]

ACT 0: It's Your Funeral

You are now a Ghost.

It's tough to explain, but it's true. You're a ghost. A few days ago, you were INSTANT MURDERED by a KNIFE IN THE HEAD. You're not sure who did it, but I guess you'll never know. The moment you died however, your consciousness shifted to some sort of ghost body. You actually look like a sheet was thrown over your head. Man, ghosts are lame.

You are at a FUNERAL. Yours to be precise. Hey, you should be granted the right to mourn yourself, right? Most of the mourners have left. The only ones left near your grave is your neighbor, JEFFERY and his wife, LILLY. They clearly cannot see you.

Hmm? What's that? You want to know your name? ...Actually, you have forgotten your name. In fact, you forgot your past life. The only reason you remember JEFFERY being your neighbor is because the preacher mentioned it.

Well, until we remember your real name, let's go with a temporary one.

>NAME THIS GHOST

[Doopliss]

>Phillipe Litfeuille

[LordHyper]

>Phillipe Litfeuille

Weird, but you guess it's a nice substitute.

Now that your funeral is over, you're bored. You're not sure if ghosts have hobbies. Do they have their own sports teams? Whatever. Point is, you're BORED. Come on, think...

...

...

Aha! You could be a great and charming ghost thief! You shall steal from the rich and give it to the poor and dying, so they won't end up dying an early death. Just like you! ...Wait, THIS IS STUPID. Let's think up of a non-stupid idea....

....

Oh right, ghosts SCARE PEOPLE. Maybe you could terrorize JEFFERY and his wife over there. Hmm... Alright, there's some FLOWERS on your grave, a LANTERN hanging on a nearby tree, several STICKS and a SHOVEL, which was probably left behind by someone who was planning to rob your grave later.

What will you do?

>

[PsychoKitty]

Ignore the pranks. Knock out JEFFERY with a brick and enter his dream. Like a boss.

[Reecer6]

>Possess lantern, swing towards and back to Jeffery and snap your cord when you have the right angle and speed to knock him unconcious

[LordHyper]

>Shit that involves special powers

You cannot accomplish those ideas, as you don't have those powers. So far, your otherworldly powers is simply MOVING THROUGH OBJECTS and not being seen by mortals. You wanted to mention this earlier, but you were still crying over your own dead body.

>

[Phynicxs]

Is the lantern one of the old ones with fire? see if you can make the flame flicker of something.
Tip over the shovel
pass through the people giving them the chills

find children and scare them.
gain beleif in you and lvl up.

[Doopliss]

>Tap Jeffery on the shoulder. See what happens.

[PsychoKitty]

>Quickly, be a lamp and start talkin'

[LordHyper]

>Quickly, be a lamp and start talkin'

That would still require possessing, which is still an ability you don't have.

>Tap Jeffery on the shoulder. See what happens.

You tap JEFFERY on the shoulder. Of course, your finger goes right through him. JEFFERY doesn't seem to have noticed.

Is the lantern one of the old ones with fire? see if you can make the flame flicker of something.
Tip over the shovel

Yeah, the LANTERN is one of those old fire ones. You have no idea why they would have it here. You suppose it's there to make the cemetery look spookier. Hmm... nope, you can't make the flame flicker. Even if you could, you doubt that JEFFERY or his WIFE would notice.

LANTERN TAKEN INTO INVENTORY.

Oh hey! It turns out that you have the power to put objects into hammerspace and pull them out at will. Neat!

You try to tip over the SHOVEL, but you can't tip over something that's LAYING FLATWAYS. You decide to take the SHOVEL instead.

SHOVEL TAKEN INTO INVENTORY.

Will that voice always say "________ TAKEN INTO INVENTORY"? In fact, what the hell is the voice anyway, and how come you're the only one who can hear it? Whatever. Let's get on with the SHENANIGANS.

>

INVENTORY:

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*LANTERN
*SHOVEL

[LightMage]

>SHENANIGANS INVOLVING SHOVEL AND LANTERN. Proceed untill everyone is sick of them.

[Doopliss]

>Put Jeffery into your inventory.

[PsychoKitty]

>Put Jeffery into your inventory.

>NO. Place JEFFERY's wife into your inventory

[LordHyper]

>SHENANIGANS INVOLVING SHOVEL AND LANTERN. Proceed untill everyone is sick of them.

You take out the SHOVEL and LANTERN, swinging them around. JEFFERY and LILLY have noticed, and they are trying to pretend that it's not happening.

>Put Jeffery into your inventory.

>NO. Place JEFFERY's wife into your inventory

You briefly consider putting JEFFERY in your inventory, but you decide to grab LILLY instead...

NEWTON'S LAWS OF INVENTORIES - NO PUTTING PEOPLE INSIDE YOUR INVENTORY UNLESS THEY'RE SMALL AND WANT TO BE INVENTORYIZED.

Well damn. What the hell is Newton's Law to Inventories? Isn't he that gravity guy?

>

[PsychoKitty]

>Get their children they're probably small enough

[LordHyper]

>Get their children they're probably small enough

...

Do you see children? No. You only see a neighbor and his wife. They are staring childlike at the floating shovel and lantern though.

>

[PsychoKitty]

>Spin the Shovel with the Lantern to get some tips. And while you are doing that, do a tap dance,

[LordHyper]

>Spin the Shovel with the Lantern to get some tips. And while you are doing that, do a tap dance,

You swing the shovel around like a cane as you swing the lantern around, spewing flames while you do a SILLY TAP DANCE. What makes it more hilarious is that JEFFERY and LILLY only see the SHOVEL and LANTERN dancing. Now! They're caught off guard! Let's finish this!

>

[Assorted Nonsense]

>Use the shovel to write "Hi Jeffery I'm your dead neighbor, fill me in on some things it turns out ghosts are amnesiacs." in the dirt. Not only is it good pranking, you can get information this way.

>Reflect that getting knifed in the head may have had something to do with your present amnesia.

[LordHyper]

>Use the shovel to write "Hi Jeffery I'm your dead neighbor, fill me in on some things it turns out ghosts are amnesiacs." in the dirt. Not only is it good pranking, you can get information this way.

>Reflect that getting knifed in the head may have had something to do with your present amnesia.

You proceed to do just that. While doing that, you reflect on your INSTANT MURDER. Could a KNIFE in the BRAIN give you amnesia? Wait... Technically, you're not in your body anymore, so all brain related trauma shouldn't affect you. Then again, you don't have a brain anymore either, so maybe you lost your memories along with your body. Man, this is confusing.

You finish scrawling out the message as JEFFERY and LILLY gape at it.

"J-Jeffery honey?" asked Lilly.

"Yes dear?" answered Jeffery.

"GHOSTS!" screamed Lilly.

They both begin screaming and runs off into the night. What jerks. They didn't even help you. Instead, they got scared off by your presence. It really sucks to be a ghost.

"That wasn't very nice." said a voice from behind you.

>

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My solution: Use the LANTERN to set fire to the FLOWERS on grave. Then use SHOVEL to dig up own corpse. Either that or use it for GRAVE ROBBING SHENANIGANS.

[Doopliss]

>Inform the voice behind you that slowly writing a sophisticated sentence in the dirt is a perfectly non-scary way for ghosts to communicate. It's not your fault they're scaredy-cats.
>Don't actually turn around to see who's addressing you.

[PsychoKitty]

>Turn around like you were in a shampoo ad.

>Turn around like you were in a shampoo ad

>Turn around like you were in a shampoo ad.

[Trueblader]

>Turn around with the shovel brandished defensively

[LordHyper]

>Turn around like you were in a shampoo ad.

>Turn around with the shovel brandished defensively

You turn around, trying to look as smexy as a ghost could be.

GhostSpice
You may be dead, but it doesn't mean you have to smell like a rotting corpse.
This ad has been sponsored by LordHyper. Remember, GhostSpice is not for human use. If used by a human, please refer to a doctor immediately, as there is a 60% chance of your limbs melting and falling off. GhostSpice may or may not work.

You then brandish your SHOVEL like a sword for a 2X AWESOME COMBO.

The person in front of you turns out to be another ghost. However, unlike you, it doesn't look like he has a sheet over his head. He's just transparenty and ghosty. How come you aren't transparent?

>

[Doopliss]

>Demand exposition.