Sex Ed Processing Station #5. (Sex, Gender, and Relationship Q&A)

[rysworld]

What do you do when you really like someone but they're already in a relationship with someone you've never met?

Mope about it for a year-and-a-half, going on a journey of self-sabatoge that will eventually- wait, you aren't me. Nevermind then.

But in all seriousness, it's probably a good idea to just leave it alone and appreciate her(?) as a friend. As awful as this sounds, if they break up and you're still friends with her, you have better romantic chances with her than if you had tried to break them up earlier and alienated yourself from her.

[kyriaki]

a katana duel is acceptable, but honour and courtesy require that you lose the battle and die in order to prove your eternal love.

[meticulousDraftsman]

Not gonna lie, part of the motivation for registering that jewelry course I start tomorrow was to someday forge my own gifts, romantic or no. Stone'd depend on the gal though.

[Wiwaxia]

Hi sex ed thread! I've been lurking n here since... before I joined the forums, actually, and I finally have something to say!

My school has singing valegrams, which are like flowergrams, except instead of flowers you get a bunch of shirtless senior guys with guitars, who come into your class, get down on their knees and croon corny love songs to you.

[chimaeraUndying]

My school has singing valegrams...

I've got candygrams, along with the short end of the stick.

On-topic, that seems like a pretty bad way of having someone's love professed at you: It really seems rather impersonal and embarrassing, all things considered.

[PaladinFoster]

a katana duel is acceptable, but honour and courtesy require that you lose the battle and die in order to prove your eternal love.

Hmm, that doesn't sound fun. How about a mecha duel? Or I guess I could just stay in the friend zone and wait for it to end. Trying to sabotage their relationship would be a dick move.

[Drillgorg]

Well really, twiddling you thumbs waiting for someone to be single is not a very good route to go either! I'd keep in contact, but go looking for other people for the time being.

[Sir Pinkleton]

My highschool had "crush" grams where you'd send some orange soda, named "Crush ™"
why yes i do live i america what made you think that

[PaladinFoster]

Well really, twiddling you thumbs waiting for someone to be single is not a very good route to go either! I'd keep in contact, but go looking for other people for the time being.

I never intend to let something like not being able to date her get in the way of being friends with her.

My highschool had "crush" grams where you'd send some orange soda, named "Crush ™"
why yes i do live i america what made you think that

The fact that Crush is an American soda brand which I am familiar with?

[DecidedlyDevious]

I don't think Drilly's point is to stay friends with her, I think it's more that you shouldn't stay "stuck" on her and meet new people. You may find someone better, who knows!

[Elementoid]

My school has singing valegrams, which are like flowergrams, except instead of flowers you get a bunch of shirtless senior guys with guitars, who come into your class, get down on their knees and croon corny love songs to you.

I wish this was a thing at my school We might do something with roses, but I don't really know; I've never participated.

Re: Jewelry - I think it would be really cool to have a ring made with one of these. Or is that tacky?

[Drillgorg]

Re: Jewelry - I think it would be really cool to have a ring made with one of these. Or is that tacky?

The patterns in it look too big, would look better on a pendant in my opinion.

[DJ-P0N3]

Whenever I masturbate, the following day my bladder tends to be a bit more active than usual.
Is this normal or is it just me?

[Blueberry]

Speaking of that, I have made myself a small promise that should I ever propose to someone, I need to forge the ring myself. And do all the other jewelry stuff to it like cutting and polishing. In fact I would try to mine the diamond and gold/silver myself but I think that would start getting ridiculous.

marry me

a katana duel is acceptable, but honour and courtesy require that you lose the battle and die in order to prove your eternal love.

you too

I wish this was a thing at my school We might do something with roses, but I don't really know; I've never participated.

Re: Jewelry - I think it would be really cool to have a ring made with one of these. Or is that tacky?

point 1: at our high school people will do them as fundraisers - the chamber ensemble used to do christmastime ones - and we've done flower things and candy things in the past

point 2: i'm assuming you mean a band carved from the stone rather than a piece of petoskey set in a metal band? i think it would look lovely.
but may i say, how very Michigan of you

[PleasingFungus]

Whenever I masturbate, the following day my bladder tends to be a bit more active than usual.
Is this normal or is it just me?

Happens to me too. I don't know the biology, but I'd assume it's common.

[PaladinFoster]

I don't think Drilly's point is to stay friends with her, I think it's more that you shouldn't stay "stuck" on her and meet new people. You may find someone better, who knows!

Okay, I see what he was trying to say. It's a weird thing about me, I can't get one person out of my head until there's literally no chance. I've tried, but I just can't seem to consider more than one person romantically at once. I can see the wisdom of that though, considering I'm probably the worst person I know when it comes to wooing and whatnot.

[DecidedlyDevious]

I know, and from previous posts I know you take dating quite seriously. But imagine love like a bag of marbles, with each marble representing a person. A red marble represents our mate. Some of these marbles even change color. The more marbles we pick out of the bag, the more likely we are to encounter the red one. We also have the option of waiting for it to change to red. Perhaps that isn't a bad thing, by any stretch. Sometimes the marble will change to red. But if all we ever do is wait for marbles to change red, it stops us from picking more marbles out of the bag, and we don't even have a guarantee that marble will change. Sometimes it's worth letting a marble go to see what we can pick out next, for we may be waiting for a marble that will never change, while the red one waits patiently right under your fingertips.

I think my point got a bit lost in the metaphor, but does that kind of make sense?

[A Salad]

That makes perfect sense, to me at least, and I would have killed to get that advice during my freshman year of college. Hell I'm grateful to hear it now, even when I'm about to graduate and move away and not really in a position to date anyone long-term.

[kyriaki]

Okay, I see what he was trying to say. It's a weird thing about me, I can't get one person out of my head until there's literally no chance. I've tried, but I just can't seem to consider more than one person romantically at once. I can see the wisdom of that though, considering I'm probably the worst person I know when it comes to wooing and whatnot.

when someone you like is dating someone else, there is literally no chance. which is to say that it's completely out of your hands when and if there ever will be a chance, and it's not very healthy or empowering to just suspend your love life while waiting on a chance that may never come.

you don't necessarily need to give up and stop thinking about her entirely, but at least be open to other possibilities that may emerge on the horizon.

[Asrius]

SO i recently managed to land myself in an actual relationship. Possibly even my first.
The burning question is, how do I graduate to the first kiss without being an awkward dick?

[Drillgorg]

SO i recently managed to land myself in an actual relationship. Possibly even my first.
The burning question is, how do I graduate to the first kiss without being an awkward dick?

Just let it happen! Then again I've never been in that situation (my relationships have "started" at the first kiss). Go see a movie or something, people kind of expect to kiss at some point during one.

[PaladinFoster]

I know, and from previous posts I know you take dating quite seriously. But imagine love like a bag of marbles, with each marble representing a person. A red marble represents our mate. Some of these marbles even change color. The more marbles we pick out of the bag, the more likely we are to encounter the red one. We also have the option of waiting for it to change to red. Perhaps that isn't a bad thing, by any stretch. Sometimes the marble will change to red. But if all we ever do is wait for marbles to change red, it stops us from picking more marbles out of the bag, and we don't even have a guarantee that marble will change. Sometimes it's worth letting a marble go to see what we can pick out next, for we may be waiting for a marble that will never change, while the red one waits patiently right under your fingertips.

I think my point got a bit lost in the metaphor, but does that kind of make sense?

It does, which is actually kind of depressing to me. With those kinds of odds, it's basically guaranteed that I'll maybe get a couple dates in my life and then end up old and alone. What kind of a universe is this anyway? You grow up with people telling you all about how excellent life can be and how with just a little hard work and determination you can basically get whatever you want, and then you find out that's a gigantic lie. Statistically, you're more likely to be a miserable train-wreck of failure than anything else.

[Bandages]

SO i recently managed to land myself in an actual relationship. Possibly even my first.
The burning question is, how do I graduate to the first kiss without being an awkward dick?

here's my failsafe formula

coffee date

next day or two days later movie date AT YOUR HOUSE this is IMPORTANT that it is there movie theatres are public and can turn people off
sit fucking CLOSE during the movie, have PHYSICAL CONTACT but don't be grabby or creepy
If xe initiates any cuddling, awesome. You can try but do it slow, no one likes to feel like they're sitting next to a creep-o octopus-hands
after the movie give them a sensual shoulder massage and by the end you can basically just lean them back into you, tilt their chin ever so softly towards you and kiss them
If they don't lean back or pull their head away GUESS WHAT they don't want that kiss yet, so respect that

but seriously that's like
romantic as shit

JUST AN IDEA

you could probably do anything sweet or romantic, but the point is to be private, have a lot of time to get comfortable with contact (a whole movie's worth) and not necessarily feel forced into anything. A back rub will make them relaxed/happy/horny so all the better.





ALTERNATIVELY,
go out drinking

it'll happen if you both are into it

[Avi]

Notice that you and everyone around you has parents, and they had parents, and their parents had parents, people have been smoochin' since the stone age, Earth's population now has more smoochable people than any point in history

really it's absurd to say you'll be alone for the next several decades.

[Bandages]

yeah there's someone for everyone

and seriously worst case scenario: instantpiss.tumblr.com [NSFL]

that is a joke I really don't think you're that kind of person at all, but come on man you're well spoken and intelligent you've already got the edge on like 70% of people right there

also you're super nice, and believe it or not, women really like it when people are respectful of them and treat them nicely

If you weren't dating someone in the next YEAR I'd be surprised.