ERROR: TITLE NOT FOUND (IC) Act 1

**acrylicArsenal** · 11-11-2011, 08:23 PM

ERROR: TITLE NOT FOUND

>ACT 1

Ah, Paradox Space. A vast, all inclusive area populated by nearly every possibility, cause, effect, decision, and outcome. Within such an expansive region, populated with an uncountable number of different possibilities, it is easy for some things to be overlooked. Some stories, missed, and their heroes forgotten.

Yes, it’s easy for some events, however unique or monumental they may seem at the time, to fall through the cracks and escape even the most sound of memories.
But this story, this series of events, this epic tale, we shall strive to rememb—

ERROR. THE FILE IS CORRUPT. YOU CANNOT PLAY HOM%82jsHB…..

…

Ah, crap. Seriously!? I was looking forward to this for a long time! You’re telling me I can’t play my stupid lousy game!?

God. This is just my luck. I go out and buy a copy on the FRIGGEN DAY IT COMES OUT and wouldn’t you know it, it’s Scratched. Must have happened while it was still in the case, on a loose piece of plastic or something. Man, why can’t I ever have nice things? Stupid no good lousy piece of junk. Corrupt, can you believe it? Corrupt. I just… Man, what even. This just sucks so bad….. Guess I’ll have to go get another copy. Or something.

…

That’s a lot of work.

…

……

…………….

I’ll just… Casually wipe this off and… Yeah, a little spit-shine… Should work fine!

>Try again.

Loading…

A young lady stands in her room. It just so happens that today, NOVEMBER 11TH 2011 is a day that is of absolutely no importance to her. As a matter of fact, this young lady is anxious for this day to end, seeing as to tomorrow is the day the new SBURB BETA comes in! This young lady has been looking forward to this game for quite some time now, along with her FIVE FRIENDS!

But we’ll get to that later. For now, we have something more important to cover.
What was this young lady’s name?

>ENTER NAME.

I bet you think you’re clever. Well, you’re not.

>TRY AGAIN.

Your name is DANI MARTIN. As stated previously, it is the 11th of November, a day that is important in no way whatsoever (other than the obligatory “OMG IT’S 11/11/11 YEEEEEE!!!”). Had we been here about six months ago, it would have been your BIRTHDAY, but you’ve been THIRTEEN for quite some time now.
You have and have had a variety of interests. You say “have had” due to the fact that your spectrum of interests is almost constantly changing! Yes, in the past, you have been interested in nearly everything a THIRTEEN year old ALASKAN has access to! (And some that they usually don’t). Currently, you are interested in MUSICAL COMPOSITION. You are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT but you’re sure you’ll get better with practice! And if not, it’ll be on to the next phase. Your other interests include VARIOUS COMIC BOOKS OF BOTH AMERICAN AND JAPANESE ORIGIN, SNOWBOARDING in the mountains that surround your RANCH, and, of course, the family DOG SLEDDING TRADE. Your SIS raises, breeds, races, and sells SLED DOGS, so you grew up surrounded by the fluffy fellows!

You also, on occasion, enjoy playing GAMES.

What will you do?

>Dani: Howl like a wolf and chew on your Synthesizer.

But… Why???

>Dani: Retrieve arms fr—

No.

>Dani: B—

SUDDENLY FURR. FURR AND SNOW. FURR AND SNOW EVERYWHERE

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

>Dani: OH GOD WHAT IS THAT?

Dani: hehe! krypto you silly dog! whatre you doing??

Ah yes, it’s your loyal dog and best friend, KRYPTO! While you have only had him for about a year, you two are nearly inseparable. He’s a great pal and fearsome protector, which is why you’ve allocated your STRIFE SPECIBUS to K9KIND, using a special whistle to give KRYPTO a variety of signals for different COOL TRICKS and the occasional FIGHTING MOVE! It’s almost like DOG-FU sometimes! hehe

You treat your best pal to a hardy round of BELLY RUBS. This goes on for about thirty minutes… Which is enough time for the sun to set, actually. Goodness it gets dark fast this time of year!

Oh, someone seems to be pestering you! Almost as if this talk of darkness SUMMONED HER :O

You laugh to yourself at your joke before answering your chum.

SHOW PESTERLOG:

You almost always end up losing these accursed battles of passive aggressive quips. She always manages to get the slip on you in the end. You will never give up though. Next time you’ll get the slip on her, you’re sure of it.
Your days are numbered, Pariah.

>Dani: Check house for evil clowns.

You decide it’s best not to worry about that right now, lest you end up psyching yourself out.

Instead, you take a moment to recline in your chair and enjoy the silence. There’s not much else to do now. SIS won’t be home for quite some time, hopefully bringing your copy of the SBURB BETA with her. KRYPTO’s asleep by the fire, the sun has long since set… An air of loneliness permeates your small ranch house, not a sound can be heard, save for the crackle of the fire and occasional sigh from your sleeping companion. Despite the loneliness, there is peace. And yet…

Though Alaskan nights can be very long this time of year, thus making this a perfectly justifiable feeling, you find it unsettling nonetheless.

This feeling that it’s going to be a long night….

>Begin.

**awesomeIncarnate** · 11-12-2011, 10:27 AM

>Be the ornery paraplegic.

Haha, very funny. As if that wasn't SORT OF OBVIOUS, but oh well. For now, you're just chillaxing to the max like any cool guy would, carving out a beaver out of wood. SUCH MAJESTIC CREATURES, their ability to work with such nice wood is just astounding.

Motherfucking miraculous.

>ENTER NAME.

Buttstench McMapleface.

Really? REALLY? You'd crush that prompt beneath your foot-....

You know, if you could use it. Which you can't. At all.

>Skip to the part where you describe your room

What, no, that's missing all the best stuff. Like, the fact that our name is GABRIEL FOSTER, and that you're Canadian.

What else is there again?

==> ==> ==> ==> ==>

You get the point, sheesh.

Your room, well, it's pretty uninteresting. It's not terribly big, but your BROTHER built it with his bear bare hands, and now it acts as a SKI RESORT. It's pretty nice to have a Brother that's a lumberjack and is now pretty rich. But, as for your room, there's a nice little laptop on your desk, but when on the go you prefer to use your phone for Pesterchum. You have various WOOD CARVINGS laying about your room, some as small as dice or chess pieces, some being actual wood sculptures. You're pretty proud of all of them, really. On the other wall is a RATHER LARGE TV, which you watch your ANIMES on. They are just so good in HD, it is beautiful.

>Gabe: Do an Acrobatic Fucking Pirouette

Why would you do something so st-....

That does sound pretty fun. You roll out of your room and down the ramp, gaining enough momentum to launch the wheelchair off of another ramp! Of course, this causes you to FLY OFF THE HANDLE OF THE WHEELCHAIR, and onto the soft carpet. Ow, face rug-burn. Well, this sucks.

>Gabe: Pester your cat-loving friend

Yeah.... you should probably do something to distract yourself. It kind of hurts, now. You're pretty sure your legs would hurt too, if you could feel them. Or see them.

-- defiantSavior [DS] began pestering kittyPulverizer [KP] --

>Gabe: Feel sorry for yourself

No, Hell no. This is no one's fault but your own- you decided not to tell anyone about your legs, and you're going to deal with it.

What she said did still hurt, though...

>Cause some SICK BURNS

Don't play with fire, or you're gonna get BUUUUUUURRRNEEED.

>Gabe: GET UP!

Oh god, this hurts.. you drag yourself across the floor, grabbing your glasses and rubbing them clean with your sweater, propping yourself up against the wooden wall.

-- defiantSavior [DS] ceased pestering kittyPulverizer [KP] --

**NeonProdigy** · 11-12-2011, 10:01 PM

> Be the Creepy Hunter

You can do that... hehehehe...

> ENTER NAME

Sally-Jim Bumpkinstink

Ugh, have you been talking to Gabe?

No, your name is KRIS RANDALL. You are thirteen years old, and live with your GRANDPA in the swamps of Florida. Not that you'll ever give that information out over the internet, as you're actually somewhat paranoid about the idea of someone finding you over the net.

You are currently in your room, having just gotten back from HUNTING with your GRANDPA. Your room is filled with items associated from your VARIOUS INTERESTS.

On your walls and scattered about the floor are a number of STUFFED ANIMALS of the TAXIDERMICAL variety. You killed several of them yourself while HUNTING, and your GRANDPA even let you skin and stuff a few of them yourself (with some help from him of course).

You also quite enjoy SWIMMING, though you prefer to go to the beach or a pool of some kind rather than attempt swimming in the SWAMPS surrounding your home. One run in with an ornery alligator without your trusty PISTOLKIND SPECIBUS was enough for you.

In addition to your TROPHIES OF THE HUNT, there are posters on your walls of movies of a rather... HORRIFIC nature.

You are an avid fan of all things related to HORROR. Be it Lovecraft and similar ELDRITCH ABOMINATIONS, the ALTERNATE REALITY GAMES of the sort beloved by the SLENDERMAN MYTHOS, CREEPYPASTA, ZOMBIES, DEMONS, SLASHER FLICKS, or the like, you love every one of them!

> Kris: Knock out all your teeth and call yourself "Bubba"

YoU hAvE bEeN tAlKiNg To GaBe, YoU lItTlE sHITSTAIN.

> Kris: Be less creepy.

IS THIS ANY BETTER???

> Kris: LESS CREEPY, LESS CREEPY!

Fine, if you say so...

You take out the red contacts and remove the harness for the plastic tentacles and sit down at your computer, ready to watch the latest episode of Marble Horne-

Oh, wait, getting pestered.

You talk to your TOTAL SIS, Dani, as mentioned in the opening post.

Man, you worry about that girl. Eating dog-food.

Honestly, if humans had some sort of QUADRANT-BASED form of romance, you would probably have a relationship with her best described as DIAMONDS

Of course, that sort of thing would just be silly.

Anyway, now you've got another person talking to you...

-- misplacedInspiration [MI] began pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

-- misplacedInspiration [MI] ceased pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

You aren't much of an artist, but you know that cool dude is totally into it, and you enjoy talking to him. He's almost like a derpy LITTLE BRO to you, but the two of you are totally unrelated.

Yep.

**InoxFy** · 11-14-2011, 05:19 PM

>Be the Eco-Terrorist.

You're not an eco-terrorist! Sure, you want to destroy every industrial factory in the world and eradicate 90% of the human population, but that doesn't mean you're going to do it anytime soon!

>Err... just ENTER NAME O.K.?.
STUPID IDIOT McSTUPIDFACE

Are you even trying anymore?

>Try again.
MARK SALVATORE

Correct! Your name is Mark Salvatore
You are an enthusiast when it comes to outdoor activities, you like to spend your free time trekking, mountain biking, and generally participating in outdoor activities. This is facilitated since you live in a highly forested area in SWITZERLAND. You have access to cliffs, rivers, and waterfalls a relatively short distance from your house. You wouldn't live anywhere else.
You are an ardent ENVIRONMENTALIST, you limit yourself to using the computer and other energy consuming appliances to a certain number of hours a day. You plant TREES on a regular basis, and RECYCLE everything you can get your hands on.
You have an undeniable HATE TOWARDS THE HUMAN RACE for it's megalomaniac tendencies. You consider humankind as a whole to be a stupid egoistical species. You know, however, there are some exceptions to the norm. You try to keep your views hidden but, in all honesty, you are not very good at it.

>Laugh like a maniac and burn down a forest:

NO

>Ski:
You wish you could ski right now, but alas, there is no snow.

>Pester Dani:
Yeah, Dani can ski all she wants, let her know how fortunate she is.

>Overthrow the government:
All right!
Err... where do you start?

**Pepperedfox** · 11-14-2011, 07:35 PM

>Be the mysterious cat-loving girl.

Well, you certainly aren't that mysterious, but sure. You are now KAWAII NEKO SUGAR GIRL wait that's not right.

What the hell do you think you're trying to pull off here jerk she is going to punt you so hard that your babies will feel it motherfucker if you ever call her that again--

>After one rambling threat and turned-off television later: Be the correctly-named cat girl.

That's much better.

You are now the MILA WRIGHT. You love CATS, punching the SHIT OUT OF THINGS, BUILDING STUFF, and ACTION MOVIES. Anything with ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER is automatically awesome. You collect figurines and occasionally snitch things from the nearby construction site. You have a NANNY, but you kind of hate her. You used to be on speaking terms, but since that incident when you were ten... well, let's just say that you two don't exactly see eye-to-eye.

Anyways, enough of that shit. Right now you've got someone pestering you.

-- misplacedInspiration [MI] began pestering kittyPulverizer [KP] at 13:39 --

-- misplacedInspiration [MI] ceased pestering kittyPulverizer [KP] at 14:47 --

Welp, dude sounds like he needs serious help with that art rut of his. But you're pretty damn sure that all he needs are some kittens. Yup, kittens will cure everything.

You waste the next few hours hunting down kitty images and videos.

**Blank** · 11-14-2011, 09:21 PM

>Be The Painter

You are now the troubled painter from across the pond.

Outside your window looms mount VESUVIUS. You live in Italy, but you're not Italian. You're Irish but your Da moves around the world a lot. You don't speak Italian very well and feel a little ISOLATED, talking mostly to friends on the internet. You used to think that if you seem more interested in the local culture and people your Da will think twice before moving home again. But you've seen him packing away the big stuff, so you know that's not happening.

>Examine Room

Scattered about your room are a number of objects related to your interests. Various sculptures made of popular TOY BUILDING BLOCKS which you feel that you are too old to play with, yet you don't have the heart to DISMANTLE what you built.

A VIOLIN which you don't practice as often as you should. And PAINTINGS. You have painted many canvases of GOLDEN TOWERS and CLOUDS. You've been CRITICISED for only painting these FANTASY scenes and not being able to paint what's in front of you. You know your problem is the opposite, that you cannot create anything truly ORIGINAL.

>Paint

You answer a friend first.

Show Pesterlog:

And... done.

>Fondly Regard Creation

Once again you've painting a scene from the same dreams you've been having for all THIRTEEN YEARS AND FIVE MONTHS of your life. Not that you remember everything clearly that far back. You are sure there is no further significance to the COMPOSITION in front of you. You find the notion that your WORKS OF ART are anything more than a product of an OVERACTIVE yet highly SPECIFIC imagination to be absurd. At least, for now.

>Enter Name

You make the mistake of trying to enter his name, when it is clearly signaturised on the many painting in the room. CODY MCGUIRE. This is why you don't leave naming people till last.

You briefly wonder if you've forgetting someone here.

**acrylicArsenal** · 11-22-2011, 12:09 AM

>Be Dani again.

You are once again DANI MARTIN, and you are diligently staking out this window, waiting for SIS to arrive! You are sure she will be back very soon, and you’ll be ready at the door when she appears!

In your intense window watching it takes you a few moments to notice that some of your friends are trying to contact you! You better answer them!

Gosh, your computer sure is far away though…

>Dani: Get to ye computer!

But but but what if SIS shows up while you’re away!? You’ve never once failed to be at the door to meet her in the nine years she’s been your guardian! Not once!! You are not prepared to break that streak for anything!!!

>Dani: Consider other options.

You pull out your PDA instead. See, how easy that was? Everyone just chill out, we’re all cool here. No need to have any sort of crisis. Now to see who was pestering you!

Who will you answer first?

>Dani: Answer Gabe.

SHOW PESTERLOG:

Gabe sure is a cool kid! He’s pretty funny, and you share a lot of interests and worldviews, even if he isn’t AMERICAN. You almost always leave conversations with him smiling like a derp. Of course, you’re almost always smiling like a derp, but that’s beside the point, which is that Gabe is just your total BRO!

Anyway, it seems Mark wants to chat as well!

>Dani: Answer the Eco-terrorist.

SHOW PESTERLOG:

You’re pretty sure he’s not actually going to go through with that. He’s always spouting that sort of nonsense, which you find both hilarious and a bit unsettling. You hope he doesn’t decide to do anything drastic when he’s old en—

SIS IS HOME!!!!!

>Dani: Greet.

Dani: hi sis!!!

You guess she’s tired. It must have been a busy trip! She’ll probably be sleeping for the next few hours. You’re just happy she’s home though. :D

More importantly, you’ve obtained the GIFT BOX from her!

>Dani: Open it!

The box contains ONE (1) BAG OF ASSORTED SWEETS, ONE (1) BATHEARST COMIC BOOK (November issue, No. 326), ONE (1) SBURB SERVER DISC, and ONE (1) SBURB CLIENT DISC.

YEAH!!!!!!!! You can’t believe your SIS somehow managed to get SBURB a day early! She really is the best guardian a girl could ask for, you think. You wonder if any of your friends managed to get an early copy as well… You guess you’ll have to wait and see!

For now, though, you think you’ll worry about the other contents of the gift box. You proceed to enjoy some delicious sweets and read for a bit.

Let’s check in on the others, eh?

**awesomeIncarnate** · 11-22-2011, 11:38 PM

>LET'S SEE WHAT'S UP WITH THE ANGRY CANADIAN AGAIN

You are once again GABE, and you have just woken up from a nice little nap- finding yourself comfortably under the covers, with your wheelchair set beside your bed so that you can easily get into it. This, along with the fact that you can smell the oh so familiar scent of FRESHLY CHOPPED WOOD must mean that your Brother is home! Speaking of which, you quickly notice that there is a LAVENDER BOX on your lap, which, of course, you couldn't feel.

>Gabe: Go bother the redneck!

That seems like the logical course of action. Boxes can wait, but you only have fleeting chances to troll! You, of course, have your phone at your nightstand, so you use this opportunity to your advantage. You get the first move in this little chess game. And you aren't going to lose to some hick in a swamp.

-- defiantSavior [DS] began pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

-- defiantSavior [DS] ceased pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

>Gabe: REFLECT UPON THIS.

Gabe: You win this round, bumpkin...

Alright, so maybe she's won a couple rounds before this too. You sort of go back and forth on this, and there's no clear winner, you think. But this time, it was the mental image of that movie that won it for her... a tactical error in bringing that movie up. Duly noted.

>Gabe: OPEN. THE. FREAKING. BOX.

No need to be so pushy! You open the box with ease, due to the seal being pre-cut; you assume that this is also your BROTHER'S work, due to the fact that it looks like it was cut with an AXE. You sometimes wish you could use axeKind, but unfortunately, that would require you to put your BACK INTO IT, which you also cannot do.

Anyways, back to the subject in hand. You thrust your hand into the box as quickly as possible (you mean this with absolutely NO sexual innuendos), taking out SBURB- what an UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT!!1!

You will have to tell someone about this.

-- defiantSavior [DS] began pestering synthHero [SH] --

-- defiantSavior [DS] ceased pestering synthHero [SH] --

**NeonProdigy** · 11-23-2011, 08:17 PM

> Kris before Dani got the game: You just beat up the Canadian kid in a troll-off. What are you gonna do now?

You're going to Disney Land!

No, that's stupid.

You're gonna talk to your best friend again!

Mostly because Grandpa is cooking what you and he caught earlier in the day for supper and he won't let you help so you're going to pass the time online like usual.

He just wants to keep the fun of skinning those rabbits to himself, you're sure of it.

-- nightmarePariah [NP] began pestering synthHero [SH] --

-- nightmarePariah [NP] ceased pestering synthHero [SH] --

Oh look at that, you made THE ONE FAUX PAS YOU CAN MAKE with Dani.

You are full of shame, and that's not an easy thing to do.

Thankfully, there's a simple way to distract you from your shame!

Trolling~

And one of your favorite targets is on too!

> Kris: Troll the Environmentalist

-- nightmarePariah [NP] began pestering evergreenUtopia [EU] --

-- evergreenUtopia [EU] ceased pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

Of course, you and Grandpa didn't actually shoot a red fox on your latest hunting adventure. You saw one though, but it got away before you could get a clear shot at it. Mark doesn't know that though.

>:3

Not to mention you already shot a rabbit for him. Man he is so fun to mess with.

Anyway, Grandpa should be done with those rabbits by now. You head downstairs to the kitchen, but he's nowhere in sight.

There is however a plate of fried and breaded rabbit with rice and carrots at your place at the table, and a note addressed to you.

You open the note to find that Grandpa's apparently gone into town for a bit and that he's put his supper in the fridge for later. He added that you're not to eat it, but you know that this is just a playful jab of his, and you'd never eat Grandpa's dinner, especially not when he's lovingly crafted a plate of food for you!

You smile, pour yourself a glass of soda, and carry it and your plate back up to your room so you can eat while you troll.

You set your food down and idly tug at the collar of your thin shirt.

Ugh, it's fucking November. Why is it so hot?

Because you live in Florida, that's why.

> Kris: Turn up the AC

Hell no! Grandpa would never let you hear the end of it!

> Kris: Turn on a fan

You turn on the ceiling fan, but thinking that's not enough, you also turn on the little table fan at your desk.

Well that's... a little better.

You finally sit down and start to chow down, you realize that you're being pestered.

-- kittyPulverizer [KP] began pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

-- kittyPulverizer [KP] ceased pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

And so yet another victory goes to you.

You're the winner.

It's you.

Also why are you the only girl in your circle of friends that isn't a furry?

You look around your room at all the stuffed animals and chuckle. Right, you're creepier than that. So you don't have any room to judge.

> Kris after Dani got the game: You just schooled a catgirl, what are you gonna do now?

Certainly nothing silly like going to Disney World.

Even if you live closer to it than any of your friends.

Nah you're just gonna sit here and eat your delicious food and watch the Shining for the you-can't-even-remember-the-number time and get pestered by Dani.

Oh hey you're getting pestered by Dani.

-- synthHero [SH] began pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

You get up and walk away from your computer at this point, thankful that Grandpa isn't home as you curse loudly.

This.

This just seriously.

You can't even.

You let out a breath and calm yourself, and sit back down to talk to Dani again. Your half-eaten food is forgotten.

You have to stare at the screen at this point, because you're having problems understanding this.

Forget all the stuff you've read where humanity lives in a meaningless universe that doesn't care about them. Forget the ones where all mankind is wiped out and things just go on without them. All the most dark and depressing films and comics and junk that you consume voraciously have left you unprepared for the simple neglect that your friend thinks is absolutely normal every-day life.

It takes you a while to respond again, because you feel like just giving up.

-- synthHero [SH] ceased pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

> Kris: Eat the rest of your food, then do something silly

You're...

Not really that hungry any more.

Could you just... be someone else for a while?

**Blank** · 11-30-2011, 01:20 PM

>Show Off Your Masterpiece

Masterpiece is an exaggeration but you are excited that it's not another AURIC SPIRE. The best dreams are always when you end up close to the big blue planet above you. The one with the clouds. You vaguely remember some chitinous fellow giving it a name but that escapes you right now. It's only the visions you can recall with complete accuracy.

You want to share this vision!

Show Pesterlog:

==>

Bugger!

Show Pesterlog:

>Follow That Camera

That camera was served right out of the field and into the off side. The cricketman is free to run and score a homerun. Touchdown!

You don't really follow sports.

Seriously though, your camera is now stuck next door. That place is an archaeology site where they recently discovered ruins. That was shorty after you and your DA moved here. They haven't even opened it to tourists yet! What are you going to do now?

>Talk To Friends

Show Pesterlog:

If your friends weren't so supportive, even the self-proclaimed asshole, you really would have given up arting. And who does make all these modus and specibus things anyway?

Show Pesterlog:

Trust Kris to always lower the tone of any conversation. It's times like this you are glad you can't draw straight from your imagination, which is currently filled with disturbing crack pairings.

>Assign Strife Specibus

You're not going to equip the GLASS SHARD. You'll hurt yourself as much as any fictional enemies that will accost you. More so, owing to their FAKENESS ATTRIBUTE.

But you don't think Kris was serious about using paintbrushes. Just like she wasn't actually serious about that alien love, right? Right? You could always wave the brushes around and pretend they're magic wands or miniature golden towers.

Yeah, you'll hold off on assigning any weapon. You read on the internet it's really tricky to change a specibus or get a new one.

**Pepperedfox** · 12-01-2011, 11:30 PM

>Mila: Examine blueprints.

You have been for the past hour or so! It turns out that your NANNY had been hiding your mother's blueprints in the fridge's secret compartment. At least, you assume that it's your mother's. After letting it defrost, you are now skimming through the pages, trying to figure out what made your mom's mind tick.

===>

You've marked a few pages for later reference. There's just so much to study. There's a house plan for the villa, some diagrams for weapons of minor destruction and mass destruction. And guns. Lots and lots of guns. You guess that your mom was the ruffian that your nanny had always warned you about. You approve of it so hard.

===>

This one's kind of weird, though. You can tell that it's an engine, but you can't figure out what kind of engine it is, or what it's for. A car engine? A train engine? The chickenscratch notes don't help much either. You'd build it yourself to find out what it does, but you're pretty low on supplies and your nanny doesn't like to help you partake in such "unladylike" activities.

Oh well, you can always figure it out later. It's not like there's anything urgent coming up, like the end of the world or something stupid like that.

>Mila: Check the mail for the game.
You've just checked the mail ten minutes ago. It's still not there. The wait is killing you! Honestly, what could be taking that game so long to arrive??

>Mila: :33<*pounces on friends!*
Cats pounce on people. You are not a cat.

But bugging your friends is a good idea. You might as well, seeing how you've got nothing to do right now. And the first victim shall be... oh? What's this? It seems that your super hippie friend is on! What a pleasant surprise.

-- kittyPulverizer [KP] began pestering evergreenUtopia [EU] --

-- evergreenUtopia [EU] ceased pestering kittyPulverizer [KP] --

What a guy. You think his whole environment obsession is weirdly adorable, even if he does talk about overthrowing the government from time to time. You just hope that he doesn't burn his disk to avenge the trees that were slain for the packaging.

>Mila: Pester the artist.
You can't do that because he's offline, doofus!

It's such a shame. You had found some really good cat pictures for him. Cats are obviously the best way to cure his artist's block. You're pretty sure that you made great progress with him the last time you chatted him up.

>Mila: FLASHBACK. . . . .
-- misplacedInspiration [MI] began pestering kittyPulverizer [KP] --

-- misplacedInspiration [MI] ceased pestering kittyPulverizer [KP] --

>Mila: Stop flashbacking. Be schooled.
Don't be ridiculous! That is so not gonna happen.

-- kittyPulverizer [KP] began pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

-- kittyPulverizer [KP] ceased pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

===>

Ugh ugh ugh! You can't believe that you were so stupid. She probably thinks that you're some weird catgirl now when you are totally not goddammit and fuck you just knocked over one of your Schwarzenegger models and

Wait. What's that sound?

>Mila: Examine cause of commotion.

ah shit i cant believe i forgot hold on a sec!

>Mila: HURRY YOU FOOL

===>

sorry about that guys
sheesh dont be so loud nanny will hear you

>Mila: Be the lolcat. It is you.
You can't do that right now because you're being assaulted by adorable strays! Why don't you be someone else instead?

**InoxFy** · 12-13-2011, 08:21 PM

>Mark: Explore the universe

Yes, you're tired of waiting for this game to arrive, you decide to explore the universe until you encounter something of interest, starting with your back yard.

-pictures will go here-

You set one foot outside the door and.. wow, your search for things of interest has returned successful results! You would feel like it's your birthday and Christmas simultaneously but your indirect contribution to global warming weighs on your conscience, so the feeling is limited to your birthday and St. Patrick's Day or some other irrelevant holiday.

>Stop admiring the package and notify your friends.

Yes, as admirable as this package you have been presented is, you must interrupt your admiration for a moment to announce to the world this memorable event! Starting with Dani.

Well... it looks like you're falling behind already. Oh well, you will wait your turn patiently.
Or impatiently, whatever applies.

**NeonProdigy** · 12-14-2011, 11:33 PM

> Kris: Stop sulking already!

You return to being Kris Randall, who is currently watching The Shining, nibbling at your food a bit as you watch.

By the time the "HEEEEERE'S JOHNNY!!!" scene rolls along, you have improved your mood considerably, no doubt augmented by your incredibly high DON'T GIVE A FUCK Stat.

The DGAF Stat allows players to more quickly get over things, limiting the number of FUCKS they give.

Regardless, you finally finish your meal, and return to your computer.

Once there, you see that Mila has contacted you:

-- kittyPulverizer [KP] began pestering nightmarePariah [NP] at 00:48 --

-- kittyPulverizer [KP] ceased pestering nightmarePariah [NP] at 01:07 --

Ah Mila.

She occupies an interesting place in your FRIENDSHIP HIERARCHY.

While Dani is your absolute best friend, and Cody is like the little brother you've never had, Mila is just below them, putting her between the friends you love to talk to, and Mark and Gabe, whom you are more antagonistic with.

With Mila though, it's a nice balance of friendship and trolling, which you admit you enjoy.

It doesn't feel like quite enough though, as though you wish you had someone you could hate and chat with and troll and be rivals with... and Mila doesn't quite fit the bill.

Ah well, like that will ever happen!

You hear Grandpa's car pull up, signaling his return from town. You go over to your window to see him, and he's holding what appear to be...

The SBURB game discs! Awesome!

You decide to gloat about this as soon as humanly possible: right now.

Looks like Mila's not on at the moment, and Cody is, so you decide you can check in on him as you tell him about getting the game.

-- nightmarePariah [NP] began pestering misplacedInspiration [MI] at 21:29 --

At this point, you feel as though there is a presence behind you, and turn around to see the grinning, bearded face of your Grandpa.

One tickle attack and some keyboard flailing later, and Grandpa's started typing to Cody.

You manage to pry Grandpa' hands away from the keyboard. He chuckles and lays the game down on your desk and leaves the room. You fight down a blush of embarrassment at his antics, then go back to typing

-- nightmarePariah [NP] ceased pestering misplacedInspiration [MI] at 21:58 --

> Kris: PLAY THE GAME PLAY THE GAME PLAY THE GAME!!!

You take out the Server Disc and-

"PLAYER: KRIS RANDALL" IS NO LONGER AN ACTIVE CHARACTER.

YOU MUST SELECT A DIFFERENT PLAYER:

DANI MARTIN
GABE FOSTER
KRIS RANDALL
MARK SALVATORE
MILA WRIGHT
CODY MCGUIRE

**acrylicArsenal** · 12-24-2011, 11:52 PM

>SELECT CHARACTER: DANI MARTIN.

You are now once again DANI MARTIN. Let’s take advantage of this perspective swap and check on the game!

Looks like the thing has finally finished loading! Honestly, you can’t stand the internet out here sometimes, but while the Alaskan wilderness is known for many things, WIFI will never be one of them.

Anyway, better let Gabe know you’re ready to play! You pull out your PDA since your computer isn’t good enough to run SBURB and Pesterchum at the same time. Honestly, you’re surprised the POS still runs sometimes. Normally you’d use the other computer. It belongs to SIS and is much better than your crapbox, but you feel like you shouldn’t for some reason…

SHOW PESTERLOG:

>Dani and Gabe: Attempt the rare and highly dangerous 2X ENTERPRESS COMBO.

Your attempt is an overwhelming success.

YEAH!!!!!!!!

===>

>Dani: Be poked.

>Gabe: Be careful.

He fails miserably. You can't be Gabe right now anyway, you're too busy being Dani, silly!

>Dani: Investigate commotion.

You dash down the hallway with reckless abandon, ignoring Gabe's protest:
DS: Don't go into the

>Dani: Go into the...

You suddenly feel your earlier suspicions of the length of this night be affirmed. It's gonna be a long one.

**Blank** · 01-04-2012, 08:04 PM

>SELECT CHARACTER: CODY MCGUIRE

You shuffle some more blank captchalog cards into your modus. This naturally increases the difficulty level by two points, whatever that means.

Let's see, as well as packing up the rest of your arting swag, you also take your phone. Got to stay in touch in case you get trapped behind enemy lines. Who the enemy is you don't know. You also take your bedsheet.

>Cody: Sneak outside

You're pretty sure your DA is out but you can't be sure. The sneaky fellow has a habit of quietly arriving home unannounced. That would be so like him, to be in his study right now doing who knows what.

You should probably ask him what he does sometime.

But not now, he can't find out you lost your camera or that your about to trespass to go get it.

>Cody: Regard ruination

Whew, you made it out without being seen. This is it, these are the structures archaeologists found a short time after you moved into your house. They've done a good job of digging them up, but now the site is as empty as the cloudy sky. The bustle of the city in the distance sounds remote, almost like this place comes from a separate world that for reasons unknown has decided to make a short stop over in yours and will soon be returning.

You just want your camera back.

**Pepperedfox** · 01-07-2012, 09:59 PM

>SELECT CHARACTER: MILA WRIGHT

>Mila: See if the game has arrived.

Oh, how convenient! The box is right there on your desk. About freaking time. You open it posthaste.

===>

... wait.

This is...

NANNY.

===>

You should've known that she'd pull something like this. This means war.

>Mila: Be the cat burglar. Break into the basement.

Ha ha stupid cat jokes are not funny.

Also, one does not simply walk into the Basement. Its stagnant depths are guarded by more than just petty locks and burglar alarms. There is evil there that does not sleep. It is a desolate wasteland of a room, riddled with arachnids, desecrated corpses, and dust. The very air is a poisonous, mothball-riddled fume. Not even with the aid of Schwarzenegger's rippling muscle or the swag of Dennis Rodman could you do this. It is folly.

>Mila: Pussy(cat) out.
What did you just say about the jokes!

No, you can't back down because you know that's what Nanny wants. In fact, you're going to barge down into the basement, evil dolls be damned, and you're going to return triumphant goddammit! But if you're going through with this, you gotta be prepared.

>Mila: Equip brass knuckles.

You retrieve your toughest set of BRASS KNUCKLES from your strife specibus. You've never been a hard hitter, but when you're wearing these you feel like you can outbox anyone. Even Arnold. You'd bring along your hammer or welder, but you don't have the proper specibi. Oh well, you'll have to make do. You also captchalog your phone and a flashlight, just in case.

Your GUM WRAPPER MODUS neatly wraps them up.

Speaking of wrapping up, you might as well wrap up some loose ends.

>Mila: Pester friends.
-- kittyPulverizer [KP] began pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

-- kittyPulverizer [KP] ceased pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

It's a long walk to the basement. The villa has been awfully bare ever since you've moved here--Nanny's even taken down her beloved Nancy Drew posters. She doesn't spend anymore time decorating like she used to in the old house. To be honest, even though her decorations were all stupid and girly, you kind of miss them. She mostly spends her time in the basement with her creepy-ass dolls, working on whatever nannies do. But you heard the car leave earlier and know that she won't be home for at least an hour or so. Plenty of time for you to regain your game.

It wasn't too hard to fish out the basement key from her bedroom. It's one of the few rooms that's gathering dust. You doubt that she sleeps there at all. Like you mentioned before, she spends all her time down below.

Since you were little you were always told to keep away from the basement and you gladly obeyed. But you're older now and there are games to be played. Besides, all that's down there are dolls and old clothes. You're sure of it.

Ready or not, here we go.

>Mila: Descend.

**NeonProdigy** · 01-21-2012, 11:57 PM

> Kris: PUT THE BUNNY DISC BACK IN THE BOX IN THE DISC TRAY

You slowly lower the disc towards the tray, taking your time to prolong your pleasure and savor the moment, when suddenly a whip wraps around your arm!

Your arm is pulled away, and the disc goes flying from your hand, only to be caught by your Grandpa.

He tells you that it's still far too early for you to be playing computer games, and that the two of you must have a post-dinner practice Strife before he'll let you play it.

You groan a bit. Bad enough he shoved you aside earlier to talk to Cody, but now he is actively keeping you from doing something awesome. You love him and all, but Grandpa just crossed a line.

With an impish chuckle, he leaves your room.

Well, you're about to be forced into an unavoidable altercation. You might as well let at least one of your friends know in case they need to talk to you and you're not around for it.

But who?

...Dani has the game so she'll be busy, Cody is off to Raid some Tombs, Gabe and Mark... Hahaha, no...

Only person online at the moment that would work is Mila then.

You decide to chat her up.

-- nightmarePariah [NP] began pestering kittyPulverizer [KP] at 22:30 --

-- nightmarePariah [NP] ceased pestering kittyPulverizer [KP] at 22:38 --

Damn, she left before you could start graphically describing the dolls tearing out her eyes with fancy teaspoons and replacing them with glass doll eyes.

Guess there's no more putting it off, time to go Strife with Grandpa.

**acrylicArsenal** · 02-19-2012, 04:23 AM

>Dani: Examine ruins of house.

Okay, the situation hasn't become quite that dire yet. You still consider there to be a distinct possibility that that command prompt will become relevant later if Gabe continues his rampant destruction of your house. You resolve to file that little prompt away for later, when you inevitably need to examine the hollow shell of what used to be your home.

Let's see what Gabe has to say for himself!

===>

You really hope you don't need to use that any time soon.

===>

You speed off to a good place in your room and Gabe puts some sort of large tubular contraption right in the middle of the floor.

Cool!

Dani: Find a spot!

The living room seems like as good a place as any. You're pretty sure it's the only room in your entire house that could fit anything of significant size.

Except maybe the LOFT, but you're not allowed in there. Besides, even if you could go in there, putting down one of these things would probably wake up SIS! You can't risk that, she needs her rest.

===>

WOAH SHIT WHAT THAT IS LARGE.

>Dani: OH DEAR GOD DON'T BE SQUISHED.

You succeed. Barely.

Someone's server needs to be a bit more careful! You could have gotten seriously injured there. Or worse!

===>

>Dani: Check timer.

You hoof it back to your room to get a closer look at that large tubular device with the little timer on it!

Hmm...

SH: twenty three minutes!

A number that certainly has no significance whatsoever.

**NeonProdigy** · 02-25-2012, 03:24 AM

>Kris: Prepare for Inevitable STRIFE

You do this, quickly captchaloguing your least favorite stuffed (by which you mean taxidermied) bunnies into your TARGETING MODUS. There are about eleven of them, and they shall make fantastic decoys for your duel with your Grandpa.

You examine the final twelfth bunny in your room. It is your favorite; it's coat is a pure white, it's nose and ears are perfect little bunny parts, it is the most glorious bunny in your possession.

You named it HABIT.

This makes you briefly consider playing Animal Collective's Who Could Win A Rabbit as you head for your climactic duel, and you give into the temptation.

You turn the song on loudly on your stereo and place your handmade SLENDERMAN DOLL next to it, regarding it fondly.

Okay, enough of this.

You head for the door, and draw an airsoft replica pistol from your STRIFE SPECIBUS, set to Gunkind.

Bursting from your room, you tuck into a roll and come up with the pistol trained ahead of you, looking for your Grandpa. When he does not appear to be in the hallway, you head for the stairs to look for him on the ground floor.

Indeed, in the living room where a space has been cleared out, your Grandpa is waiting.

You can feel the eyes of the stuffed animals around you watching this showdown, having witnessed many just like it before.

You point at the older man, looking surprisingly well for a man his age (not that you have any idea what his age is) and challenge him!

ONE STRIFE FOR THE GAME, OLD MAN! YOU ARE GOING DOWN!!!

He chuckles, drawing a very dull but very metal broadsword.

YOU ARE GOING TO KICK HIS ASS!

>Five Minutes: Go by

You fail to be Five Minutes, because only Thirty Seconds have passed.

Grandpa is no longer in the room. The game is indeed back in your possession, and while sore all over, you manage to captchalogue it, ready to try and drag yourself back to your room and just kinda let your bruises heal.

...

...

Well, that seems to not be a thing that is happening right now.

You instead decide to try to take out your phone and pester one of your friends to let somebody know you're still technically alive. You consider this, and decide that even if Dani is busy with her game, she's your best option.

First though, you weakly manage to pull a small dart out of your pocket and hit a bulls-eye that appeared over one of your now sliced-open bunnies. With a toss, the dart hits it, and your phone pops out of your Sylladex.

-- nightmarePariah [NP] began pestering synthHero [SH] --

-- nightmarePariah [NP] ceased pestering synthHero [SH] --

>Kris: Black out

You allow blissful slumber to claim you, using another of your disemboweled stuffed bunnies as a pillow.

>Kris: Dream

You are now Kris Randall from some point in the past to the above scene.

You are sitting at the computer as you tend to do, and are a bit concerned at how somebody has sent you a list of pesterhandles that you don't recognize.

It's pretty fucking weird and you're not about to stand for some bullshit from a crappy troll on the internet.

If anyone is trolling anyone, you are the one who will be doing the trolling!

Who's first on the damn list?

-- nightmarePariah [NP] began pestering synthHero [SH] at 21:44 --

-- synthHero [SH] ceased pestering nightmarePariah [NP] at 02:04 --

You didn't know it at the time, but this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

And you wouldn't trade it for anything.
S t a y a s l e e p f o r n o w , m y H u n t e r .

**Blank** · 03-02-2012, 10:29 PM

>Cody: Look up

Yep that sure is a tall thing. And steep too. So many steps. It's also the only place your camera could be. You've checked everywhere else. It must bounced up there or got there somehow via a string of unlikely machiavellian coincidences. Either that or someone or something put it up there. You will never know. You don't want to think about it too hard.

In fact you would rather just have someone to talk to right now.

And thanks to the wonders of the internet you do!

>Cody: Use the magic of the internet to talk to Dani

Show Pesterlog:

Cody: Ascend

You climb you the stairs one by one. These stairs are so tight it might as well be a rock wall you're climbing. Their stairhood is a mere technicality. Had there been literally any other way to get up you would call it an interestingly detailed wall.

The frog statue surveys all it sees from it's vantage point. You get closer and closer to it but it remains tantalisingly out of reach. Even when you reach the room at the top it is still a level above you. Unattainable. But you're not after frogs. Yet.

You walk into the cool room. This...

You have to tell someone about this.

Cody: Provide exposition to Kris
Show Pesterlog:

Cody: Have a close encounter

You take a moment to calm down from the pants shitting terror you were just in, to feel merely disappointed and underwhelmed.

Cody: RUN BITCH, RUN!

You quickly captchalog your camera finally. You snag the smaller time capsule flower thing too. In your hurry you end up swapping it in your modus for you bedsheet. You are not very attached to your bed sheet. You just want to get out of there.

You descend the interestingly detailed wall quickly.

Very quickly indeed.

**Pepperedfox** · 03-09-2012, 07:45 PM

>Mila: Advance.

>Mila: Land.

Oh god everything hurts.

===>
One minute in and you already hate the basement. Can this get any wors--

>Mila: AAAAAAAAAAH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

>Mila: Abscond! Abscond!
You can't abscond because the door is locked!

>Mila: Scream.

You aren't screaming you were so not screaming. Scream? What scream. Hahahaha no you are calm and everything is under control. You got this. You totally got this--

===>

-- nightmarePariah [NP] began pestering kittyPulverizer [KP] at 22:30 --

-- kittyPulverizer [KP] ceased pestering nightmarePariah [NP] at 22:38 --

>Mila: Imagine flesh-eating dolls.
HISSSSSSSNO.

God can we just find your game and get the hell out of here? You don't want to spend any more time in this hellhole. Why Nanny would want to carve goddamn creepy dolls into the basement is beyond you. Why can't she carve the proses of Nancy Drew or something into the walls instead. You can feel their lidless, cold stone eyes drilling into you oh fuck this.

>Mila: Calm down. Examine the basement.
It's a dumb basement full of dolls and doll statues. You finally found the light switch and have turned on the only light bulb. You use your phone as a light as you search for tools that might help you escape. All you can find are a handful of books and scissors.

The dolls keep staring at you.

Um... hi.

===>
... wait. You kick aside the pile of dolls blocking part of the wall. Why is there a door here? You try the knob. It isn't locked, thank goodness.

>Mila: Be pestered.

-- evergreenUtopia [EU] began pestering kittyPulverizer [KP] at 18:14 --

-- kittyPulverizer [KP] ceased pestering evergreenUtopia [EU] at 19:17 --

**awesomeIncarnate** · 03-12-2012, 12:27 AM

>Gabe: Panic!!

What? No way broski, it seems you have the perfect amount of time. Twenty three minutes seems doable, even though you're not exactly sure what that countdown is for. Which, admittedly, is a tad worrying, but you try not to put too much thought into it. The best plan for now is to try and continue, and try to beat the clock.

Well, that is a thing that just happened. As much as it was a complete and total accident, it's actually pretty fucking hilarious.

>Gabe: Observe the glowing orange-ish ball.

Well, this certainly is an oddity, now that you look at it... In the crash, you hadn't gotten a good glimpse of it, but it's certainly... out in the open. You ponder what could possibly be done with it...? But for some strange reason, you begin to drift off in your thoughts... Your mind settles on that strange event that had through mysterious bullshit lead to this very moment. It was in fact, not so different from what was going on right now. As usual, you were sitting and on the computer...

>Gabe: Daydream.

Years in the past....

But not many.

You were a different person- and you're pretty ashamed of what you were. But now, you're HIM again. Glancing through your usual Naruto forums, you get an odd feeling, like fate's rump has been firmly planted onto your face.

You get this feeling a lot.

Anyways, this time, fate's rather warm buttcheeks seem to be exactly right- as someone has begun pestering you. Well, it's always good to meet a new friend!

-- kittyPulverizer [KP] began pestering defiantSavior [DS] --

-- defiantSavior [DS] ceased pestering kittyPulverizer [KP] --

THIS CONVERSATION TURNED VERY AWKWARD VERY QUICKLY. Well, it seemed as if she didn't notice, but you feel very STRANGE all of the sudden. Shaking off this weird feeling, you wheel yourself down to eat dinner, which proceeds in a rather NORMAL FASHION. By which you mean, there is a great deal of yodeling and singing and alcohol, which you refrain from letting yourself drink. Really, your brother isn't too strict about it at all.

Soon, though, you finish your dinner, and head back up to your computer.

>Gabriel: Meet your sister.

Who where why whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa???

You dunno what that means, but it looks like there's another new contact that's online! You rush to contact this person.

-- defiantSavior [DS] began pestering synthHero [SH] --

-- synthHero [SH] ceased pestering defiantSavior [DS] --

>Gabriel: Reflect.

Oh man today is great. You've met TWO new friends. Shit, you decide to keep this friend-train a-rollin', as there's ANOTHER new online contact! This is gonna turn out great, yeah, perfect.

-- defiantSavior [DS] began pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

-- nightmarePariah [NP] ceased pestering defiantSavior [DS] --

Ok, that was NOT SO GREAT. This person was RUDE, just plain rude. You put on your meanest angry-face at the screen. You know she feels it through the computer. You KNOW it.

**acrylicArsenal** · 04-15-2012, 04:24 AM

>Alright, let’s get back to Dani.

Woah what the hell is happening in here.

>Be Dani at a less confusing time.

Better?

>You know what I meant!!

After some difficulty that could have been avoided with commands that were a touch more specific, you are once again DANI MARTIN, right about where we left off with you, which is a little before we left off with Gabe.

You continue your conversation:

>Dani: Spin the wheely thing.

You struggle with it for quite some time, but it refuses to budge! The darn thing seems to be stuck tight. Bummer!

===>

OH GOD TOILET DEBRIS RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!

>Dani: Captchalogue the toilet debris.

You do so, stashing them with your FETCH MODUS, FETCH MODUS. It’s a pretty uneventful modus for captchaloguing. It’s when you want to retrieve things that it gets interesting. And by interesting you mean things getting catapulted into the distance like a herd of frightened weasels or something.

===>

Well that thing’s out of here.

>Dani: Insert cylindrical thingy into that long-ish skinny device.

After quickly scurrying back into the LIVING ROOM, you insert the CRUXITE into the TOTEM LATHE. It appears to be a perfect fit! Now you just have to wait for something to happen.

Yep.

Just gotta wait.

…

………

…………………………

===>

>Dani: Play around!

You make a bunch of CRUXITE for the hell of it. There doesn’t seem to be any sort of limit to the number that the CRUXTRUDER can produce, which would be really useful if you could figure out what the sam hill you’re supposed to do with it.

===>

Gabe drops… A captcha card. Full of holes. How useful.

There’s something… Orange-ish on there. It’s… Uh… Gosh it looks sort of rectangular, you guess? The heck is this even supposed to be??

>Dani: Insert card into TOTEM LATHE, along with CRUXITE.

It’s a long shot, but that might just be crazy enough to work!

You insert the PREPUNCHED CARD into a convenient slot on the TOTEM LATHE. The machine immediately responds by rapidly spinning the TOTEM you inserted previously, and carving it into an odd shape.

===>

You do this, but what you can only assume to be microscopic toilet debris floating in the air is making it really difficult to breathe at this point, let alone watch the wondrous process of ALCHEMY taking place in the immediate vicinity. Yes, you are completely unable to view this fantastic spectacle. Pity.

…

Okay it is getting ridiculously hard to breathe in here.

>Dani: Open a window!

Ahhh… Feel that fresh Alaskan air. What a beautiful night. You think you can hear an Eagle’s majestic cry off in the distance, and are suddenly overtaken by an extreme feeling of PATRIOTISM.

===>

Ah yes, what a GLORIOUS and FREE country AMERICA is! A POWERFUL nation founded on TRUTH, JUSTICE, and LIBERTY. Full of people with LOVE and COMPASSION for their fellow man! A country of DEMOCRACY, founded on the basis of FREEDOM FOR ALL! TRULY THIS IS THE LAND OF THE FREE, AND THE HOME. OF. THE. BRAVE.

(It should be noted that, as you live in remote Alaska, you’ve never really been in America proper.)

===>

===>

AMERICA.

===>

AMERIKAW.

>Dani: Examine object on the alchimeter.

Oh my gosh it’s a dog biscuit!! We are completely taken by surprise by this!!!!! Seriously!!!!!!!!!!!

>…

You suddenly feel the ground begin to shake beneath your feet…

Uh-oh.

>Dani: Examine sky.

Oh shit.

>Dani: Think fast.

That just happened.

===>

PLAYER HAS LOST CONCIOUSNESS; YOU CAN NO LONGER BE DANI MARTIN.

For now, at least.

===>

**NeonProdigy** · 04-15-2012, 02:10 PM

>Dani: Be Kris

You are once again THE CREEPY HUNTER. Unfortunately, THE CREEPY HUNTER is still dreaming.

Let's watch one more first-time meeting between destined players!

-- nightmarePariah [NP] began pestering misplacedInspiration [MI] --

-- nightmarePariah [NP] ceased pestering misplacedInspiration [MI] --

Yeah, that was one of the weirder meetings you've had with your friends. You and he still turned out to be pretty chill eventually (despite his apparently claiming your likeness as an original character...).

Anyway.

Enough of these dream meetings and foreshadowing.

It's time.

To motherfucking.

>Kris: WAKE UP

Fuck, man, you're awake, jeez...

You blink and then stretch, only to wince as your bruises remind you that you're still in a bit of pain.

Looking around the living room, there is no sight of Grandpa, just like before you passed out. Okay, cool. Good. You've got SBURB, you've got your phone, time to stand up and go back upstairs to your room.

...

I said time to stand up-

Oh forget it.

>Kris: Drag self to stairs

You do so, looking up at the seemingly vast gulf between you and the next floor.

With slow, deliberate movements, you start to climb up the stairs. Damn, Grandpa really worked you over! You suppose it's possibly because you wrecked some of his taxidermy rabbits in an attempt to weaponize them, but you can never be too sure!

Eventually your phone buzzes in the middle of climbing upstairs. Huh, you find it slightly ironic that it'd be Cody pestering you right now for some reason... but you don't quite remember why that is.

-- misplacedInspiration [MI] began pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

-- misplacedInspiration [MI] ceased pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --
NP: Pansy
-- nightmarePariah [NP] ceased pestering misplacedInspiration [MI] --

Well, that was an amusing distraction, but you've finally made it back upstairs! Additionally, you can feel your legs again, so now might be a good time to stand up and enter your room.

>Kris: LOOK ROOM

What do you think this is, some kind of text adventure game? Regardless, we can now give the viewers a nice look at the bedroom of Kris Randall.

It's a bit cluttered, you know that. But it's an organized clutter! Also you've got posters of all your favorite things on the wall, which is always awesome~

>Kris: Bask in the glow of having the game in your possession

Aw yeah, you can't wait to be a useless piece of shit all day and play this game.

>Kris: OH GOD WINDOW

Window?

You look in that direction and don't see anything.

Meh, probably just a bird.

You sit down at your computer and try to pester Gabe and Dani to see how they're doing, but neither of them are apparently free to talk to you.

Well, you can wait until it's your turn. In the meantime, it looks like Mark's online and is therefore in need of some pestering~

-- nightmarePariah [NP] began pestering evergreenUtopia [EU] --

-- evergreenUtopia [EU] ceased pestering nightmarePariah [NP] --

Now to just wait for Gabe to get off his lazy ass and play with you.

**Blank** · 04-18-2012, 05:29 PM

>Kris: Be Cody

To say you have chosen a very poor time to be cody would be an understatement.

>Quick Be Someone Else

You cannot be this human male adult thief, currently making off with a priceless painting. You wonder who this mysterious man could be, or you would if you knew it was happening, weren't plummeting to a rapidly approaching ground, and didn't actually already know who he is.

>Examine Paintings

You would offer an interactive flash at this time, letting you choose which painting to examine at your own time. Unfortunately you are not that good of a host. And in any case, you have already seen one ORIGINAL CHARACTER drawing and the story behind it leading to the meeting between two. Let's see the similar story behind the other one, the pink furry one.

Show Pesterlog:

And the next day...

Show Pesterlog:

You never did show her the other picture. Sometimes your dreams shows things that are strange and confusing.

>Cody: Land Already

>Cody: Black Out

>Moments In The Future, But Not Many

Suddenly you understand everything!

You just had one of your more interesting dreams, when the golden moon comes close to the big blue thing. You can never remember any words from the dreams, none of the conversations you have with the strange white creatures or the one black creature. Even the visions are starting to fade.

But you are sure they were important, especially this time! You have to jot them down before you forget them!

>Cody: Draw In The Sand

Your rooms too far away, you need to draw this RIGHT NOW! You fail to realise this might be one of your most creative and abstract works yet.

You fail to realise this because these pictures points to you and all your friends dying because of the game.

>Cody: Warn Someone

Show Pesterlog:

Meteor collision? It really is all true!

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