Last Day

[Stickmeister]

Currently on hiatus until the end of May! I've got some school related art projects that I'm busy with.
Sorry! I'll update vehemently over the summer.






A man in his mid twenties stands within his office cubicle. You have worked here well over 8 months, and every one of those days within every one of those months you dread dragging your sorry ass back here and working. You're sick of it. That's why today is a faithful today: It's your last day in the office. That's right, today you're going to go up to his boss and spit right in his eye, and walk out the doors labeled in glowing letters "EXIT". But first, you think before that you should have a little fun! Though it was 8 months ago you entered these offices, it is only today you bear a name!

What will your name be?

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The panel you see above is a redrawn version of the original. There's a pretty huge drop off in art quality afterwards, but it gets much better (i hope)

FAN ART
(spoilers ahead, shield ye eyes)


General Disorder:


crepuscularDissembler:


thegreenspark:


TheEmptypot:


TheEmptypot (again) (cause she's rad):


TheEmptypot (YES) (she's too fucking rad for me to handle):

[wlzrobert]

Office Adventurer

[KilroyWasHere]

Beef Hardslate

[Loather of Irk]

Hoops Dunkson

[Whimbrel]

Keyboard Maestro of Cubefield

[Bropocalypse]

George from Accounting

[Stickmeister]

Beef Hardslate

No, Beef Hardslate was the name of your pet rat you had a few months ago. You recall bringing him with you to the office, and he scurried across your keyboard, writing out the entire script to a login page and achieving more work than you had in a whole month.

Hoops Dunkson

No no, Hoops Dunkson is the name of the famed B-Ball player, member of the Cleveland Slammers. But what a man Hoops is. He managed to score 80 points to 0 in one whole game with a flat ball--with his wrist broken, nonetheless! Then he killed his entire family. What a shame.

You still don't remember your name. And surely you remember it not being incredibly stupid. Think!

[KilroyWasHere]

Anders Redna

[Bropocalypse]

Fred Tomas Wilkins Jr. or "Raygun" to your friends.

[Loather of Irk]

Johannes Rubenstein

[distainfulCatalyst]

Ted Tomkins.

[Stickmeister]

Fred Tomas Wilkins Jr. or "Raygun" to your friends.

No no no, "Raygun" was the nickname of the "third" man on the moon, back in 1964. Fred Tomas Wilkins Jr. was his full name. He landed on the moon, then promptly broke his foot. He then became the first man to break his foot on the moon, and later Neil Armstrong became the official first man on the moon. He died bitter that he never got his chance as the first man on the moon, and died with a broken foot.

Ted Tomkins.

Ted Tomkins! Of course that's your name. How stupid can you be?

Now that you've wasted all this time attempting to remember your name, what do you do now?

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More updates tomorrow!

[Bropocalypse]

Burn it all down.

Let it drown in gasoline.

[Redux]

Break time. Get the hell out of your cramped cubicle.

[Loather of Irk]

Make like a tree and get out

[BigBurkhart]

Admire your red stapler.

[Pick Yer Poison]

Delete that login page script. STUPID RAT. HOW DARE HE CHALLENGE YOUR CODING SKILLS.

[distainfulCatalyst]

>Wonder what you were ever thinking growing that absurd beard.
Also,
>Obtain NERF gun. Locate individuals also in possession of NERF guns. Begin an armed uprising.

[nicol-baka]

go to the break room and start some trouble

[SNeakyRobot]

> Write an incredibly clever code that will steal a bunch of money from the company a half penny at a time, tear down your cubicle walls, dress casually, and smash the printer to peices.

[Stickmeister]

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Guys, I have not seen Office Space. Cool down on the references. I'll watch it this weekend.

Admire your red stapler.

Ah yes! Your trusty red stapler. It really stands out against the bland, grayscale office that fills up the rest of the room, doesn't it?

>Obtain NERF gun. Locate individuals also in possession of NERF guns. Begin an armed uprising.

You place it in your inventory as you make your way to the closet, which is where you recall a few NORF guns being. Your inventory is however many pockets you carry on your person. You can fit something as big as a piano in your pocket with no problem, but only one thing can go in each pocket at a time. They comprise of both your front and back pockets, and your breast pocket.



About to enter the closet, you suddenly remember there are vending machines down the hall. You don't usually purchase anything from them (you're giving back part of your hard-earned paycheck to the very folks you got it from, why would you ever do that?) but you're feeling rather famished. You make a mental note to visit them later.



And by mental note, I quite literally mean your Mental Notes. You have trouble remembering various things, so you keep these sticky notes on the back of your head in case you forget anything. You have 4 Mental Notes. You make another to remember the vending machines and place it on the back of your head.




In the room labeled "STORAGE" (what do they have to store that you're not allowed in here to see???) you find various useless objects like buckets and mops. Oh, wait, what's that?!



You found a NORF SWORD!

Oh right, it was a NORF Sword rather than a gun. See, this is why we keep Mental Notes, folks!

The best reason you can think of why a NORF Sword at the office is a party you held here not too long ago. You're pretty good friends with the Janitor, who even attended the party, so he must have been holding these in store for you. What a nice guy.
You place the NORF Sword in your inventory. You might need it for later.

Before you start completely tearing up the place, you think you should roam around and do some other stuff. Cause some subtle "things" that'll blow up later in a completely non-subtle way. You know, that stuff.

[wlzrobert]

use the bucket, mop, and pillow to create a fake you so you can sneak around and run amok

[distainfulCatalyst]

>Tomkins: Find that guy. You know, that guy who you despise with all the passion you can muster in this environment. That guy who you wish the ceiling would collapse on every time he opens his mouth to speak. That guy who you have been engaged in a passive aggressive war with ever since laying eyes upon him!
Smack him over the head with your NORF sword.

[Heckfire]

Attack broom repeatedly to grind up your One-Handed NORF skill.

[Stickmeister]

use the bucket, mop, and pillow to create a fake you so you can sneak around and run amok

Using the bucket, mop and pillow, you create a near-identical replica of yourself. But...there's something off about it...



Perfect.

>Tomkins: Find that guy. You know, that guy who you despise with all the passion you can muster in this environment. That guy who you wish the ceiling would collapse on every time he opens his mouth to speak. That guy who you have been engaged in a passive aggressive war with ever since laying eyes upon him!
Smack him over the head with your NORF sword.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA



How rude. That's how you always greet him. And every time, he runs off.

...You know, you don't actually know his name. All you know is that you HATE HIS GUTS.