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Thread: HeartStuck (Still PG, Sorry)

  1. #1

    HeartStuck (Still PG, Sorry)




    Hello and welcome! HeartStuck is an alternate universe adventure of Homestuck, designed as a parody (or perhaps a shrine) to a genre of cheesy anime games called Dating Sims. Suggestions are always more than welcome, so when you get caught up feel free to post your own commands!

    If you're reading HeartStuck for the first time, there are two main ways to do it. You can read the threads (which have bonus art, fanart, fanmusic, discussion, and are generally easy to navigate), or you can read the mirror (which is in a more convenient, mspa-like format).
    Both options are included under the spoiler below!




    Directory:




    >Start Game?<

    Your name is KANAYA MARYAM and this is your ROOM. Haha. Just kidding. This will never be your room. Just because your MOTHER, Virginia. M. Grubb, sent you to this academy doesn't mean you'll ever really consider it your home, especially when the walls aren't plastered with your various INTERESTS. You mother would insist she just wants the best education for you, but you know better. She just doesn't want you around boys. She has this whole obsession with CHASTITY that you don't much care for. It's no coincidence she sent you to an all girl's school.
    You could spend some time to make this dreadfully plain room into something worthy of an aspiring fashion designer such as yourself, but right now you have the more important task of walking to the principal's office. You've already met him with your mother, of course, but he takes it upon himself to greet every transfer student personally. Especially one as much "potential" as yourself. PRINCIPAL SCRATCH is a benevolent educator indeed.

    But wait! What's this?

    It seems that you are too stupid do do much of anything right now! Your STATS haven't been assigned?

    Luckily, you have 21 STAT points on hand, with 3 different STATs to spend them in.

    >Charm: 0
    >Intelligence: 0
    >Strength: 0

    Spend wisely!
    Last edited by lovecraftianParadox; 03-24-2012 at 12:26 AM.

  2. #2
    Thief of Shade/Seer of Hussie Sonira's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    Dump all of your stats in intelligence.

    ((By the way! You made a typo. "5 different STATs to spend them in" when there are 3 options.))
    Last edited by Sonira; 12-04-2011 at 10:54 PM.

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  3. #3
    The Ever-Masked One Namboto's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    8 charm, 8 intelligence, and 5 strength

    sig quotes I guess? (one of them)

  4. #4
    The Bro of Time Gimeurcookie's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    > 12 Intelligence, 1 in strength everything else ( 8 ) in charm.

  5. #5
    ArmsAreLoud's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    (An adventure with the concept "this is a story about lesbians being lesbians" from the start. What a beautiful thing.)
    16 charm, 5 intelligence and 0 strength.

    You can make up for the lack of strength by being so IMPOSSIBLY SEXY that you can get some tougher ladies to do stuff for you.

  6. #6
    Nowhere Man AProcrastinatingWriter's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    >9 Charm (Good gosh you're sexy)
    >7 Intelligence (You're pretty Smart!)
    > 5 Strength (Eh...okay.)
    Below: A nasally-voiced twenty-year old who has just woken up addresses the MSPA Forums with way too many pauses. (Unless tindeck is down right now)

  7. #7
    ArmsAreLoud's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    By the way, quick question: Will all of the Homestuck females be available for smooching or just the ones on the title screen?

    I must know so I may plot a strategy to maximize the number of ladies Kanaya can get her suave on with

  8. #8

    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    Thanks for the heads up on that typo!

    And yeah, people keep saying "write what you know". So I wrote lesbians.
    But yeah, all the homestuck girls will be here. All of them. Anything that can remotely be considered female.
    Teachers aren't exactly a non-option either hoo hoo hee hee haa haa

    working on the next update.

  9. #9
    Thief of Shade/Seer of Hussie Sonira's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    This pleases me greatly. Continue.

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  10. #10
    miles of ragesnake jinx's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    oh man oh gosh oh man oh gosh.
    this looks pretty cool so good luck, i will be watching this and maybe contributing if i remember to??
    starting......
    next update! maybe!

  11. #11

    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    After much thought, consideration, and obedience to the voices in your head, you finally decide on your stats.

    CHARM: 10
    INTELLIGENCE: 11
    STRENGTH: 0


    You are a very lovely girl. You have glossy, ebony hair, and a sharp wit to boot. You'll certainly graduate with fabulous grades and



    Oh god. You can't lift your arms. Your muscles are like noodles that have been boiling for a year and a half.
    That's fine. You're fine.
    Oh god.
    Okay, just start walking to the principal's office. No one will notice.



    You exit the HALLWAY, by exerting your legs to maximum potential. As your bff GAMZEE MAKARA would say, it's a "miracle" that you manage to make it out of the door.

    But wait! What's this?



    RANDOM ENCOUNTER!



    Show Dialogue


    Do something! Say something! Don't just stand there, you ignoramus.
    Last edited by lovecraftianParadox; 02-22-2012 at 05:40 PM.

  12. #12
    ArmsAreLoud's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    Judging by the ears adorning their hoodies these girls are probably social outcasts.

    Easy pickings, but getting with one of them could easily alienate you from the rest of the girls at the school.

    Hmm.

  13. #13
    Thief of Time cautiousCapricorn's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    Judge the girls attire.

    Use MISTRESS TECH LVL 9: SEDUCTION
    Lurking on MSPA forums since 2009!



    Yes! It's back!

  14. #14
    ArmsAreLoud's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    Now that I think about it Kanaya's introduction outright states that the transfer was to get her away from boys and she doesn't even make a smart remark about the irony of surrounding her with hot wiminz.

    Kanaya might not know she's a lesbian yet.

  15. #15
    Beelzebibble's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    I didn't make it all the way past the first image before bookmarking this thread so hard it broke my trackpad.

    Ask 'em if they're freshmen too. Or should I say... fresh... women
    *

  16. #16

    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    >Judge the girls attire.
    Oh god, those hoodies. What were they thinking? The one in black is obviously suited for bright colors. Urrgh, is that a denim skirt?

    Level 9 Seduction? I think you meant Level 9 Platonic Charming Introduction, which you are completely capable of, having level 10 Charm.



    You offer Jade the most platonic kiss on the hand that has ever been platonic'd into existence. LEVEL 9 PLATONIC SEDU- INTRODUCTION SUCCESSFUL.






    Oh no! Jade has randomly acquired a case of the VAPORS. How random!




    Jade has joined your PARTY. You can access her stats now, and she'll follow you everywhere. Anywhere, she means. She knows this place pretty well.

    Last edited by lovecraftianParadox; 02-22-2012 at 05:37 PM.

  17. #17
    Napping Cadet Dario EON's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    >Examine Jade's stats.

  18. #18

    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    >Examine Jade's stats.



    >Charm: 6
    >Intelligence: 15
    >Strength: 15

    Her STATS are fairly decent. There's other information available, so you'll seize this opportunity to take a gander at those as well.

    Relationship Points: 9
    Relationship Level: Acquaintance

    Hm. Looks like you'll need at least 25 RELATIONSHIP POINTS to achieve NEW FRIEND level. Anything else?


    STATUS: {Vapors} -2 intelligence in this state
    SPECIAL ATTACK: {Pistol Whip} Smacks sum beyitch wid a glock
    Last edited by lovecraftianParadox; 02-22-2012 at 05:42 PM.

  19. #19
    Napping Cadet Dario EON's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    >Kanaya: Proceed to principal's office.
    (Is Jade playable?)

  20. #20
    Dxpenguinman's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    +1 reader

  21. #21
    ArmsAreLoud's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    Kanaya: Use GIRL TECH LEVEL NINE: FAKE FAINTING to get Jade to carry you the rest of the way

  22. #22
    Supernerd's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    Go unpack your walking aid.

  23. #23
    OrangeAipom's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    Where'd you get their walking sprites? They look like Gaia.

    The one is black is obviously suited for bright colors. Urrgh, is that a denim skirt?
    You should change the is to something else.
    Last edited by OrangeAipom; 12-05-2011 at 09:46 AM.

  24. #24
    Thief of Shade/Seer of Hussie Sonira's Avatar
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    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)

    Kanaya: talk to Jade about the school as you walk to the principal's office.

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  25. #25

    Re: HeartStuck (dating sim parody AU)


    > Jade: Do something adorable

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