Trollslum Cafe LXXIII: Somebody Get A Hose

[Araiss]

Welcome the Trollslum Café!

Our Guiding Principle: We are fans of Homestuck, and of the trolls in particular. We like to make fantrolls, and we love to roleplay them. And so, once upon a time, this thread was created as a place to host new, undeveloped trolls so that players could flesh them out while interacting with other characters. This is the primary purpose of the Café.

Moderators

There are moderators to keep quality control of the Café. They will enforce rules, post new threads, and are generally around to help you if you have a problem or a question that needs answering. The current list of mods are..

Suds McFuddle
Steev
Overlard
Araiss
Cliff_Racer
Blank
Ocfos

Notice to newer players: We highly encourage you to post a profile in the trollslum thread or in the critique thread before starting your roleplaying experience in the Café. Getting some feedback on your character before you start playing can help you make a better character and avoid some common pitfalls.

Below are some rules that we would like you to follow when you post in the Café. Please read them carefully, whether you are new or old to the Café!

1. Characters and Settings

The Café is located somewhere on Alternia (the troll homeworld populated by the young). Any troll on Alternia can access it. Mutants, aliens, and freaks overall are not accepted. This means no aliens (humans included), abominations, undead, ghosts, robots*, freaks*, and mutants*. General fandom for adult trolls starts at 10 sweeps and older, which means they would be off planet in the fleet or culled for failing to provide genetic material at that age, so trolls over 10 sweeps are strongly discouraged*.

* <- The above asterisks note exceptions for good cause: if you're sending a troll of this nature in the Café, they must have a good reason to be alive (or still on the planet, in the case of adults). If your character falls into one of these categories, the moderators will ask you to justify the reason for them to be considered an exception to the rules. These exceptions must all be of Trollish origin as this is the Trollslum Cafe. Also a good rule of thumb is that it shouldn't force every single head to turn if they enter the cafe.

The Café is also set outside of a SGRUB or S***B continuity. No troll knows about any game information or about humans. Aspects and characters from what would be from a SGRUB or S***B session (god tier/S***B powers) are also banned, save them for a session roleplay.

2. Participating in the Café; Guidelines for Posting

There are no pre-requisites for joining the Café. Simply jump in and start a conversation with someone who is unoccupied.

a. Indicate which character you are speaking to if you are starting a conversation. If there is no name, be as specific as possible.
b. You can quote the previous post to enhance the clarity of responses, but use spoiler tags and do not post quote pyramids. You can be infracted for this.
c. Before beginning a conversation, make sure the character isn't already talking to someone. Interrupting a one-on-one conversation is rude, though planned interruptions are fine. If they tell you to go away please respect that decision.
d. When speaking OOC (out-of-character, as yourself) use (( parentheses )) or [[ brackets ]] to indicate OOC speech.
e. Post containing only OOC chat are prohibited. Go to the Trollslum General Chat Thread or a private medium for that.
f. If you want to roleplay something that isn't allowed (see below), there are other mediums for roleplaying: instant messengers, including the Pesterchum client; typewith.me or sync.in collaborative documents; and private messages.

3. Fights

Fights are a different kind of roleplay, so they need special rules. Please read this next important section carefully.

a. Avoid fights if possible! There are usually other options besides instantly pulling out a weapon, so try the peaceful options first. Your troll may be violent or you may want to show off your character's skills, but this is a place for character development. This doesn't mean that you are prohibited from playing a mean of provocative character, just know your limits!
b. If you must engage in a fight, please contact the other players privately (PM/chat client) to plan things out. It is good to have an end result and a plan to avoid annoying one-upmanship contests.
c.Follow fighting etiquette: describe your character's actions thoroughly. Avoid godmodding. A good example of roleplaying an action is: “I aim at your character’s face and fire.” It explains the action and gives the other character a chance to respond.
An example of godmodding is: "I stab your character in the jugular vein." You don't have control over the other character's actions.
d. Do not get involved in someone else's fight! There are exceptions, such as if your troll is in a quadrant, or if they are friends with a participant. Trolls generally don't care about other trolls' problems if they don't know them.

4. Romance

Quadrants ARE needed for a troll to avoid culling, but the Café is a public setting. Trolls are shy about their quadrants (seen in canon), so they won't go to a public place just to make out. Relationship progress is important for character development, but sloppy makeouts are not.

*Anything above PG-13 such as fondling, grouping, lewd, sexual, or questionable behavior is forbidden. Take it to a private chat.
*If you bring a character in solely to have make-outs, a moderator may ask you to leave.

5. Problems

Problems will happen, whether they be excessive fights, godmodding, or another player causing drama. If you have a problem with someone, contact them privately and politely, not in the thread.

The mods will try to keep the peace, and if one of them sees a problem involving your character they will send you a polite PM asking for an explanation. Characters will be asked to leave if they cause constant problems, violate the rules, or need revision.

6. Rule Changes

The rules may be changed at any time without notification, so it's wise to check the rules occasionally. Remember the goal is to have fun, so be polite and enjoy yourselves!

Archives

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The First
The Second
The Third
The Fourth
The Fifth
The Sixth
The Seventh
The Eighth
The Ninth
The Tenth
The Eleventh
The Twelfth
The Thirteenth
The Fourteenth
The Fifteenth
The Sixteenth
The Seventeenth
The Eighteenth
The Nineteenth
The Twentieth!
The Twenty-first
The Twenty-second
The Twenty-third
The Twenty-fourth
The Twenty-fifth
The Twenty-sixth
The Twenty-seventh
The Twenty-eighth
The Twenty-ninth
The Thirtieth
The Thirty-first
The Thirty-second
The Thirty-third
The Thirty-fourth
The Thirty-fifth
The Thirty-sixth
The Thirty-seventh
The Thirty-eighth
The Thirty-ninth
The Fortieth!
The Forty-first
The Forty-second
The Forty-third
The Forty-fourth
The Forty-fifth
The Forty-sixth
The Forty-seventh
The Forty-eighth
The Forty-ninth
The Fiftieth
The Fifty-first
The Fifty-second
The Fifty-third
The Fifty-fourth
The Fifty-fifth
The Fifty-sixth
The Fifty-seventh
The Fifty-eighth
The Fifty-ninth
The Sixtieth
The Sixty-First
The Sixty-Second
The Sixty-Fourth
The Sixty-Fifth
The Sixty-Sixth
The Sixty-Seventh
The Sixty-Eighth
The Sixty-Ninth
The Seventieth
The Seventy-First
The Seventy-Second

The Precursor

[Chumemi]

Yeah, you're still here.

[Moon Redeemer]

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I'm waiting for my tea for 5 minutes and 30 seconds, that's all about this cafe.

y-You hearr that, listenerrs? This café sucks, just like everrything els~EZZTT~*#

You're kind of stuck for anything to say now.

s-So, brro, tell the worrld all about yourrsel~FZZTT~*#

[The Next Decade]

I'm a geneticist. Specialise in making Bio-mechanical objects. Like living weapons, computers and everything like that. And a sweep ago I had a real success.
He drinked his tea, that not only late for 6 minutes, but also is cold as arctic!

[Blank]

Another one that sounds enthralled with his tales.
----Lo! ----Art thou sure? ----Tis a hardy life traveling, oft times without the basic comfrots of a hive, beset by the foul beasts that stalk yon lands ----

----But I suppose it all builds character

[Nightcastle]

Arcnea looks up, eyes still closed and head shaking.

no... just that no on3 l|k3s m3...

Still not making any sense, girl.

|'m an un3njoyabl3 and angry p3rson...

Arcnea's still crying, and also doesn't notice Dragun standing around just yet.

((Repost))

[Moon Redeemer]

The only word that you register amongst the plethora of scientific biological jargon bullocks is the word "success". Appears we have a subject of conversation, then.

t-Tell us morre about this succes~SZZTT~*#

[Kattily]

Then Rotana and Dyanas walk in, talking about how nobody could ever like Arcnea



Instead, Kaptey comes in, sits at the bar, and starts doodling on an index card with a sharpie, occasionally looking up at the other trolls.

[The Next Decade]

"Bio-mechanical armor mk. Musashii". That's the name of success. It can be placed into container like that...
He tapped at the small black disk on his back.
...and it can grow the armor on you in 5'5 seconds. Bio-boosted strengh, regeneration mechanisms, high defence, and it's all in one small disk.

[Araiss]

(()/\/\e ()n, t}{ere /\re tr()lls t}{/\t like y()u.

Then..slowly, the pieces of the puzzle which is Adinan's thinkpan start to move.

U/\/\...unless y()u /\/\e/\n, er, s()/\/\e()ne liking y()u in /\ qu/\[)r/\nt..?

Because he doesn't know about that.

[Chumemi]

You look at the girl with tattoos. Wow. You're impressed.

[Suds McFuddle]

Ohh, but it sounds so exciting! Can I please go on adventure pleaaaaaase???

Nedela starts rapidly clapping her hands in sheer excitement.

[Overnightfuture]

Acerus walks into the cafe like he owns the place and sits at a the bar.

Oh look he is ordering food for once, pancakes and bacon for breakfast what a great meal.

[Nightcastle]

Arcnea stops herself for a few seconds after wiping her eye.

no, no, |t |sn't that... just that | know w3'r3 a harsh c|v|l|zat|on, but what p3opl3 th|nk of m3 as a troll just hurts. l|k3 |nsults and talk|ng b3h|nd my back...

Liar, you know it's about quadrants. She puts her head in her left hand and just looks at her friend.

do you know how that f33ls, ad|nan?

[Chumemi]

Another sea-dweller? You walk over and attempt to give him props.

[Todd Ingram]

Ottkos is still here.
Poking at the ice crystals on his hand.

He doesn't notice tatoo troll coming in again. Which is probably for the better.

[Dudemaster47]

And Peztis returns, since he didn't really do too much last night other than flip his shit. You head over to the bar and get some coffee, as usual.

[Moon Redeemer]

Meh, that's somewhat cool, you guess. Cool enough that you choose to listen to the explanation, but apparently not cool enough to provoke a reaction from you. You cynical little douche.

t-That sounds trruly interresting, doesn't it, everryone? Now, as violence is verry prrominent in trroll society, will this be something that you intend to rrelease to the public to assist in varrious... disagrreement~SZZTT~?*#

[Blank]

----Well there's always room for a party of companions

[Kattily]

If she could be assed to do it, Kaptey would go over and try to scare that redblood some more. But she doesn't feel like it, so she orders a Trollka Cruiser to help herself sober up and continues doodling.

[Overnightfuture]

oh another sea-dweller has approached Acerus.

He doesn't acknowledge the other sea-dweller's "props" and just continues to eat.

[The Next Decade]

Still, Musashii is too dangerous for users themselves for massive production. So, I think no, until I will make it at least safe for users.

[Araiss]

Well t}{/\t frien[) pr()[3le/\/\ I t()l[) y()U /\[3()ut is si/\/\il/\r.. S}{e t}{()ug}{t I w/\s g()ing t() (ull }{er [3e(/\use I t()()k s()/\/\et}{ing fr()/\/\ }{er t}{/\t [3el()nge[) t() /\/\y /\/\()ir/\il.

Except that was told in his face.

Plus t}{ere's /\lw/\ys t}{e [3l()()[) (()lle(t()r /\spe(t. (/\n't re/\lly /\/\/\ke t()() /\/\/\ny frien[)s w}{en tr()lls t}{ink y()u're (reepy ()r weir[).

[Fexxos Vyront]

Fexxos and Ithesa enter the cafe. They sit at a table and order some eggnog and cookies, and proceed to laugh about jokes and stories and in general be friendly.
They are open for chat, either together or individually.

[Chumemi]

Nevermind about the props. You retract your hand and put it in your pockets.

❶ wow, you're the second troll with a costume on today! ❶
❷ are you supposed to be a pirate or something?? ❷

You sit across him.