fantroll crit thread: thread now full, please post in the new one

[Krug]

Did somebody say...Viral Trolls? At least a few pages back it was said? Whatever, I hope you don't mind critiquing this guy, because his profile is pretty damn long and I apologize for that.



Your name is ZAPHOROZ SIRKOVAN, you’re 15 sweeps old, and you're a CAVALRYMAN in the IMPERIAL GROUND FORCES,a role that one of your talents should love, but this was never the case. Because quite honestly all you want to do is explore, brawl, grab sweet loot, drink, and live freely. The military has BRAWLING and DRINKING down pretty well, but it isn't so great with the other three. Sadly for you, it seems that the days of GREAT ADVENTURE are over, and you are sure as hell going to miss them. With that, you suppose you had better explain yourself, considering the best days of your life on Alternia were as an ANONYMOUS BLOODED HIVELESS VAGABOND.

Important Backstory that's spoilered. Because shorter looking profiles are easier on the eyes.

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Back in the days of your youth, you always expressed an aversion to normalcy and you constantly sought extremes. Even as a wriggler, it just seemed that doing things the way they were SUPPOSED to be done would never satisfy you. From a young age, you taught yourself to ride your HOOFBEAST lusus. It was a brutal experience to say the least, and you had a few scars, fractures and bruises by the time you had MASTERED it, but in time those healed and the entire experience just made you a stronger individual. As you got older, and understood the HEMOSPECTRUM more, you realized that you had been born into a semi-luxurious caste, and your blood on its own garnered respect from the lowbloods. You grew to DESPISE the lot of them for respecting you without any good reason, and at the same time you hated your own BLOOD for giving them that reason. The solution to this predicament was simple, well, to you anyway. You merely became an ANONBLOOD.

Another thing that fascinated your younger days, and partially fueled your insatiable drive to live life on the edge, was an obsession with ADVENTURE STORIES. Cheap little novels that told tales of the wild Alternian past. Noble highblood knights fighting and entangling with dangerous beasts to save their indigoblooded matesprits, seadwelling pirates who had adventure lurking behind and beneath every wave, the colonial frontier with heroic Trolls fighting exotic and strange aliens, it was all in those little novels. At it was from this obsession that you decided you would be like them, roaming the landscape. With DANGER, ADVENTURE, and THRILLS lurking behind every tree and dusty road.

So you abandoned your own hive, leaving it for some lucky squatter, and took only your weapon, lusus, and a few rag-tag clothes. You also cut off contact with your moirail, kismesis and matesprit. A decision you later would come to completely regret when you had to come groveling back to them in order to get pails for the Imperial Drones. The experience was awful, and you never saw the lot of them again afterwards. Even today, quadrants are an extremely touchy subject with you.

Still these were the best days of your life, full of DANGER and the thrill of the UNKNOWN. Each day was unpredictable. You spent your time riding from place to place on the back of your lusus, hunting DANGEROUS WILD BEASTS and selling their SKINS and PELTS for caegars. You had no problem PILLAGING the houses of SHITBLOODS, who you still look down upon, and though ANONBLOODS technically have no rights, you were sure if anyone caught you then an "accidental" laceration could happen. You'd usually stay the days at whatever cheap shelter a HIVESTEM could offer, and if you were in a town, hunting down local CRIMINALS was another way of generating EXCITEMENT and making MONEY. Of course you aren’t able to always get to a proper room come daybreak when you live a nomadic life, or even reach the nearest HIVESTEM. In these cases you would have make your own shelter and sleep without being ENCASED IN SOPOR. This happened more frequently than you’d have liked, and it would bite you in the ass later.

Along with your ON-EDGE lifestyle, you usually sought out the most pleasure your possibly could, just part of trying to live life to its FULLEST. You have no problems frequently getting drunk off VODKA, or smoking various things out from your trusty PIPE. Most other trolls regarded you as a fellow who is if nothing else, Jolly, though you tended to get a little RAMBUNCTIOUS. Even when in a brawl, there always seemed to be an air of humor about you. Back then it really did take vast amounts of aggravation to break you into a state of rage. Of course, when that did happen your extreme ANGER MANAGEMENT ISSUES would clearly shine through.

However, this was all how you acted in the past. And everyone grows up sometime.

You eventually RETIRED yourself from the whole adventuring gig just a half sweep before having to ENLIST. By this time, all the NIGHT TERRORS from the times without SOPOR had put you far too on edge to not live a settled life. You RELINQUISHED your status as an ANONBLOOD, and returned to your old hive. Which had been ransacked and destroyed due to LOOTERS and SQUATTERS. Here you met back up with your former QUADRANT PARTNERS, got that scarring experience over with, and lived the remainder of your now miserable days in your crumbling hive until you finally were CONSCRIPTED. Reviewing your skills and long periods of time on horseback, you were put into the CAVALREAPERS. A platoon commander even due to your blood caste.

You've changed. While you still face DANGER and THRILLS every time you drop down onto a planet in battle, the magic of it all is gone. Sucked away. Rather than you CHOOSING where you want to explore, or what you want to kill. You are merely told to "Kill this" or "Capture that" or "Flank that Line". You're just a cog in the machine and you know it. The consequences of your wild youth have caught up with you as well. You're pretty much a depressed downer of a troll who begrudgingly follows orders out of pure necessity. Sometimes you go days without sleep due to your NIGHT TERRORS, which in turn makes your depression and unbalanced nature even worse. You don't really have control over your ANGER anymore, if something even slightly ticks you off, it can either throw you into a fit of RAGE, or just make you start CRYING. Most of your time is spent ALONE, just DRIFITNG off and remembering how good the PAST was. While you have your fighting talent, you don't really have the CHARISMA of a Platoon Leader. At all. Perhaps this is why you're assigned to a DERELICT SHIP right now. You spend most of your time on the SHIP in your quarters, merely waiting to arrive at wherever your target planet is. Call it childish, but most of your time in there is still spent reading those little ADVENTURE NOVELS, though you enjoy a wide variety of other books as well.

Your lusus as mentioned before, is a Hoofbeast, whom you have named BAIKAL. He’s pretty much your trusty steed and the two of you have been through more misadventures than you can count. Despite the fact that he was never really the sharpest tool in the shed, the two of you still have a close connection, and one of your would readily risk their life to save the other. Though you'll never be able to understand his neighs, you wish sometimes he was on the SHIP with you, rather than the LUSUS TRANSPORT. Considering he’s been through everything you have, just rambling to him would be nice.

Your Strife Specibus is BREECHKIND. And by that you mean any sort of weapon that is BREECH LOADED. Mainly old-timey rifles, which take a rather HEFTY amount of skill to master, and always rack up the DANGER. Mainly due to their capacity to jam at any time. While you once were terrible at fighting on BAIKAL, PRACTICE has made you a frightening sight to behold when fighting on HOOFBACK. Though your aim on foot is competent as well. Imperial Command has been pressuring you to modernize and just use RIFLEKIND or choose a Melee Weapon, but you still like to hold on to this last little piece of nostalgia.

Your trolltag, which you obtained out of necessity for fleet life, is kvetchingCossack and you sрэдk in д diдlэct дs щдyщдrd as yoцr yoцth.

I know it's too long, but I'd wish you'd read.

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Name: Zaphoroz Sirkovan
Trolltag: kvetchingCossack
Quirk: Several letters replaced with Cyrillic (A, E, W, and U)
Age: 15 sweeps
Gender: Male
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 210 lbs.
Constitution: 4.5
Strife Specibi: Breechkind
Lusus: Horse
Blood Color: Slightly Upper Class Blue (Hue 222)

[pseudoParadox]

(Zaphoroz sounds really great. He's got a lot of character.)



Annisa Kittue

-redacted-

Tl;dr

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Name: Annisa Kittue
Symbol: ∀
Trolltag:flameUnrelenting
Quirk: she doesn't capit∀lize the first letter in her sent∀nces, and uses her symbol for ∀n A.
Age: Twelve Sweeps
Gender: Female
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 140 lbs.
Constitution: 3
Strife Specibi: FLAMTHWRKIND
Lusus: Dragonfly
Blood Color: Lowblood

Writing Sample:

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Annisa flicked her lighter to life, and watched idly as the fire danced on her hands. She swept her thumb through the flame a few times. It looked worse than it was - the fire scarcely had time to realize she was there. It didn't even redden the skin. She flicked it closed abruptly when she felt something stir on her back.

Her face was impassive as the creature scuttled over her shoulder and down her arm. Then again, the spider regularly slept curled up in the hood of her jacket for the past few sweeps. Regal was what the bluebloods liked to call a tarantula, covered with short white hair from head to eleven inch leg span. His little mouthparts twitched inquisitively, chittering softly when she ran a hand down the silky back.

“Good boy.” She murmured.

Almost absently she pulled a vial of blood and a container of nutrigel out of the cooling chest shoved behind her recuperacoon and mixed them together, watching the rusty blood dribble out of the tube and disperse like smoke into the opaque fluid. She set the dish before her eager pet, and he darted forward, digging his fangs into the metal with enough force to dent.

Annisa then returned to playing with her lighter, but shortly afterward the spider started mock attacking her hand. The girl giggled, but picked him up anyway. “Spoiled thing.”

Okay, so I've discovered I suck at coming up with quirks and the like, I've come to ask what you guys think.

So far Annisa's trolltag is flameUnrelenting.

her quirk is to type without cApitAlizAtion except the letter A. (It's her symbol upside down.)

or m∀ybe like this? (Yeah, I've got nothing here. Haeeelp. DX)

[Quincunx]

@Krug: It's good that you addressed the problems that would come with vagrancy. I can't spot any glaring errors, though there is a misuse of "it's" in there and some things are capitalized that should not be. I would advise not repeating the word EXTREME and instead wording it some other way.

I'm not sure broken bones make you stronger. If anything it would be a point of weakness, especially if he's had repeated breaks in the same place.

Does he do anything else in his free time besides brawling and drinking?

The lines of his hat should be thicker, and the way they're very straight looks strange with the rounded lines of the rest of the sprite. Also his hair should probably have more volume and be seen behind his head as well.

[Krug]

@pseudoParadox Thanks! Annisa sound excellent as well! Though my one question about her backstory is, if she's a lowblooded arsonist then why was she even dragged off to the Imperial Army in the first place? If she's too young, why not just cull her due to a lack of rights? No reason for military training to start early. If she's of age, then again, would she not just get culled for draft dodging AND arson?

Also go with the inverted "A" quirk.

@Quincunx - Alright, so I fixed just about all the grammatical errors I could find, including all the "it's" problems. Most of the "Extremes" have also been replaced.

Yeah not sure what I was thinking with the whole Broken Bones thing, I got that out of the way now.

I wanted to show that the fleet had pretty much made him a shell of his former self, because he used to be all about adventure and exploration. So really he doesn't have much to do besides drink, get in a brawl or two, and fight for the empire. Though I do imagine he still reads his old Adventure books in his spare time on the ship, so I threw that in there.

Not sure what to do about the problem with the hat as rounding it is difficult without making it too large, but I did a bit of maintenance and bettered-up the Hair.

[pseudoParadox]

Frankly, it was revenge. She burned down the recruiters house and it got personal. He caught her, and being a highblood (or a higher blood than her anyway) had a rather low opinion of rustbloods. When he found out that the arsonist that had managed to avoid getting caught for so long was a rustblood he was a little impressed. So he decided instead of bringing her to the attention of the court, he would toss her into training with the Explocutioners, who were also mostly highbloods. If she survived the empire would get a soldier out of the dael and if she didn't she'd be dead. I think it would appeal to the slightly twisted troll sense of justice.

(I'm assuming here that you can 'choose' to enroll early if you like.)

Does it seem like too much of a stretch?

---
Like this?

FU: ∀h, curse your sudden but inevit∀ble betr∀y∀l!
FU: "h∀ h∀ h∀! Mine is an evil l∀ugh...now die!"

[Captain Whosit]

(I'm assuming here that you can 'choose' to enroll early if you like.)

Does it seem like too much of a stretch?

If you mean that a troll child can choose to enroll in the military at a younger age, I don't think so? What we know of the process seems to amount to this: As a troll nears adulthood, they must first supply genetic material to the Imperial Drones. If they successfully pass this test they are whisked off Alternia and conscripted into some division of the Imperial Fleet.

If they left Alternia early they probably wouldn't have a chance to complete step one, and failure to do that means death so I'm not really sure how that would work out. Also, did you delete the backstory for Annisa from your posts because I can't seem to find it now. I don't really think a recruiter would be living on Alternia since the adults are supposed to be gone, but you could modify that story for it to be a kismesissitude with a higher blood, perhaps.

[pseudoParadox]

How I thought of it was that lowbloods, who have much shorter lifespans than highbloods, would enter the army earlier. (Also a few sweeps have passed, so she's in her late teens when she does join the fleet - she's not still thirteen human years.) And she's already taken care of the bucket thing, though I think I may have tangled that up somewhere in the history.

I intended for it to be the recruiter's temporary quarters or something of the like, but I suppose I could be more clear on that. I could probably come up with a kismesis related thing that might make more sense.

Yeah, I removed it. Should I put it back?

[Captain Whosit]

I believe even the lowest red-blood can live for around 20 sweeps, though someone may have to double-check me on that. Reds are probably cannon fodder, anyway, so they wouldn't have to live long in the military. Plus, there are tons of them. Again, someone may have to correct me, but I believe Hussie said somewhere that the lower castes are more numerous than the higher ones. So my take on the issue is that there's more evidence that it's a uniform draft age for all trolls (not that there's a ton of evidence to begin with).

[Quincunx]

Yes, I am also certain that redbloods are very populous, and they are said to live between 12 and 24 sweeps, though you'd probably have to be a sickly redblood to only live to 12. Most people I see believe trolls are recruited around 10 sweeps.

[Firebird766]

My headcanon is eight sweeps old at conscription, plus a sweep or two (exact time depends on where they're assigned) of training before they join the workforce proper.

[pseudoParadox]

I thought she'd be around nine sweeps by that time. It didn't occur to me to write down an exact age. >>

I figured it'd be a decent enough age timeframe though.

[CraftyJongleur]

Ok, this is my first fantroll so I'd appreciate any input you can give me. I know I probably went overboard with some of the descriptions but I couldn't tell what was and wasn't important enough to include...


>Be the Caretaker



Your name is Ananta Khalid. You are 7 sweeps old and you have spent most of those seven sweeps stuck in your LIGHTHOUSE HIVE. Scattered throughout your respiteblock are numerous MAPS OF FARAWAY LANDS, BOOKS ABOUT EXOTIC ADVENTURES, and PAINTINGS OF FANTASTIC VISTAS. Really, anything to make you forget you're trapped on this rock.

Actually, a rock really is the best way to describe it- if you were to step out the front door you wouldn't be able to walk more than a few feet without plummeting into the ocean. In fact, the island upon which your hive sits is so small that YAMM, your GIANT SEA SERPENT LUSUS, can curl all the way around it and put its tail in its mouth. In fact, that's what it spends most of its time doing, blocking you from leaving the island.

That's really the crux of most of your problems. You know that he only wants to protect you, but as it is you barely get to see the world or meet any other trolls. Sometimes when you're an especially good little troll, he lets you go visit some of the NEIGHBORING ISLANDS AND COASTAL VILLAGES, but you often tend to get over excited and end up is some manner of mischief or another and end up being punished by not being allowed off the island for a long time (ok, so that's always what happens). You just can't miss an opportunity to explore some RUINS or a CAVE COMPLEX, or find out what will happen when you start messing around with the locals.

It's just as well, though. Seeing as you live at see, most of your neighbors are HIGH BLOODS, and most of the High Bloods are SEA DWELLERS. They tend to look down on you as the poor kid brining down the value of the neighborhood, but they begrudgingly continue to associate with you do to the necessity of your job running the lighthouse. Trolls have nigh perfect dark vision, of course, but during heavy fog or a particularly violent storm, even the most adept sea dweller can lose their way. It's not a job many trolls would want, working so close to that bright light all the time, but you have a pair of SPIFFY SHADES to protect your eyes. And it has its benefits: you've had many a sea dweller knocking on your door during a storm, having seen the beacon seeking shelter.

Because you spend so much time isolated from the world, you are always very enthusiastic when talking to other trolls- perhaps a bit TOO enthusiastic. Your manic cheerfulness and constant barrage of questions tend to give people headaches, but it's just in your nature to be so friendly, as every person you meet is a brand new experience full of new possibilities for what they might share and what you might learn. You particularly like the sea dwellers. Not that you actually care about the hemospectrum or anything, you just think it's so cool how they can explore the entire ocean uninhibited. You often find yourself gushing to your visitors about how much you envy them and how amazingly cool you find them to be. As annoying as your incessant prattling is, you find many of the sea dwellers returning to visit multiple times, just for the ego stroking. None of them show up often enough to really call them your friends, but there are a few who you at least know on a first name basis. They regale you with tails of adventure and intrigue, and it only fuels your desire to break free and explore the world. On clear nights you look up at the stars and dream of someday joining the Expeditionary Fleet and exploring new worlds. Most of the other trolls just roll their eyes at the idea, as your TEAL COLORED BLOOD pretty much guarantees you a CIVIL SERVICE JOB, not to mention that someone with your authority issues (caused by your overprotective lusus) would make a terrible soldier.

Your lack of exposure to the outside world has left you with a philosophy that anything is possible. You see the world as a chaotic place full of limitless possibility, and you love it. There is no limit to your imagination and as far as you're concerned, anything you can imagine could be out there, jus waiting for you to discover it. As a byproduct of your obsession with chaos and possibility comes a love of chance and probability. You accept them as completely random and thus don't care about or believe in 'luck,' you're more excited by the suspense of which possibility will reveal itself. You therefore always carry a DECK OF CARDS around with you. It represents the mystery of a locked door, the beauty of the unknown. You never know what you're going to get when you draw from a shuffled deck; it might be just the card you need to win a game or a worthless card that sabotages your entire hand, and the suspense makes you positively giddy. You've even learned how to weaponize your cards, fitting them with bladed edges and using them as makeshift THROWING KNIVES (and as regular slicey type knives in a pinch).

At night you dream of the one who brings storms and how they will kill your lusus, setting you free. You're not sure whether it and your other visions are true premonitions or just figments of your admittedly overactive imagination, but you do know that one way or another you WILL become free to explore the world.

Your fetch modus is the FIVE CARD STUD MODUS. When you captchalogue an item you assign it to a number 2-10, Jack, Ace, King, Queen, or Joker. When you want to get at item you draw five cards from your deck and receive whichever items are attached to those cards. You CAN also split them by suit, allowing you to carry 4 times as many items, but that makes it 4 times as hard to find the item you need, so you try to travel light. Who needs 54 captchacard slots, anyways?

Your troll tag is infinitePossibility and you tend to be a bit of a card with your punsss, and you hissssss to pay tribute to the lusssusss you just can't hate.

[Thunder Reign]

Ok, this is my first fantroll so I'd appreciate any input you can give me. I know I probably went overboard with some of the descriptions but I couldn't tell what was and wasn't important enough to include...

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>Be the Caretaker

My only nitpick is that the hissing quirk has been done to death and back. Apart from that, he seems pretty solid.

[CraftyJongleur]

Yeah, I know, I'm just having a REALLY hard time coming up with a quirk that works for him. The only other thing I could think of was something to do with 8s (because of his symbol) but that's WAY too Vriska.

[BewareOfNerd]

Maybe replace something with asterisks? His symbol looks a lot like one.

[CraftyJongleur]

Say, that's not bad. That's not bad at all. Now I've just got to figure out WHAT to replace. I'd want to say x's, but somehow I don't think that would come up all that often.

[ashdenej]

Maybe a select vowel? Then it'd look like he was sw*aring all the time. Or something.

[CraftyJongleur]

But s*meh*w I w*nder if that might be *ne *f th*se quirks that gets t** ann*ying.

What do you think, would that be going overboard?

[ashdenej]

But s*meh*w I w*nder if that might be *ne *f th*se quirks that gets t** ann*ying.

What do you think, would that be going overboard?

Waay overboard. Perhaps only do it to one or two in the middle of l*nger words, so it's more underst*ndable.

Of course, if you want it coded regularly for pesterchum, you'll have to make it more fine-tuned than just using your own judgement.

[CraftyJongleur]

What if it was *nly applied when the letter is *n the beginning *f the word?

[PriffyViole]

What if it was *nly applied when the letter is *n the beginning *f the word?

That could actually fit with his lighthouse thing.

[Phantom Gamer]

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>Be the undead-obsessed airhead.

Your name is JOHN ARROW.

You cannot stress how much you love ZOMBIES.

You adore MONSTER MOVIES of the SHITTY KIND, particular those that feature the LIVING DEAD. In fact, you love ALL THINGS to do with VAMPIRES, ZOMBIES, GHOULS and other such CREATURES, except of course REAL ONES. In fact, you’re ACTUALLY PRETTY COWARDLY in real life. You're even afraid of dogs.

You also appreciate WARGAMES MINIATURES, which you also centre around the idea of UNDEAD MONSTROSITIES. You love PAINTING and CONVERTING them, even though this tends to make them look like SHIT, and you also enjoy BATTLING although you’ve NEVER WON A SERIOUS GAME. Despite this, you think that you’re PRETTY DAMN GOOD. You jokingly refer to your habit as PLASTIC CRACK, and much merriment is had. (It is a serious obsession and you need help.)

Another favourite subject of yours is PIRATES AND BUCCANEERS, a love that you have inherited from your UNCLE. Speaking of your UNCLE, you tend to get on well with him, even though he’s a bit DISTANT. Apart from forcing you to listen to his tales of his career as a SWASHBUCKLING MONSTER HUNTER (stories, you must point out, with a considerably high FAKENESS ATTRIBUTE), and sitting you in a room with a SCHOOL TEXTBOOK for an hour so that you can answer questions when the INSPECTORS come to check on his HOMESCHOOLING, he pretty much lets you do your own thing.

You are a loyal PASTAFARIAN, a follower of the FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER, and you follow it with an almost PRIESTLY devotion- your UNCLE has set up a large SHRINE in your LIVING ROOM. (You’re not sure that he quite understood the PARODIAL NATURE of your faith, but you won’t complain.) You have even got a CERTIFICATE that confirms you to be a Pastafarian MINISTER.

You find it hard to CONCENTRATE a lot, and often stop thinking about what’s around you while your IMAGINATION happens. Like most kids, you played games of PRETEND when you were younger; unlike most, you never really stopped. Thankfully, you have friends to bring your attention back to real LIFE.

You go on PESTERCHUM by the name of juvenileNecromancer and you tend, to get lost, in your own... OH WAIT SORRY I JUST SPACED OUT FOR A MINUTE. :E

What will you do?

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Name: John Arrow
Handle: juvenileNecromancer
Male / Human / Uncle was English, but lives on crashed ship off coast of Wales/ 15 years old
Title: Priest of Life
Land: Land of Swamps and Spires
Planet: Dersite Dreamer
Text Colour: #339900
JN: Speaks, with many commas, and ellipses... BUT MOSTLY uses acceptable grammar. (British spelling, though.)
Birthday: 15th January
Consorts: Axolotls
Strife Specibus: canekind
Fetch Modus: Recipe
Guardian: Uncle
Denizen (Web Browser): Sphynx (The greek version)
Sprite: Necronomicon (OH SHIT); ???
Variety of Grist: Iodine
Planet's Quest: "Cleanse" the planet (restore swamps to lakes)
Cruxite Artifact: ???

Updort? I changed the shirt icon to one a bit more relevant, plus a few other things.

repost because pagebottom'd

[CSJ]

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>Be the Haemotraitor Highblood
Fin, if u inƨƨħiƨƨt >:/



Your name is Fartface Buttskunk Gamina Echino and no matter how much you wish it were otherwise, you are a SEADWELLER. As much as you would love to live up to the wishes of your ESTRANGED, yet LOVING aquatic slitherbeast LUSUS, you are rather bitter about the weight of the EXPECTATIONS placed on your kind. She was however, a great lusus and while you haven't seen her for a whole SWEEP, you miss her more than you are willing to admit. While some trolls see your negative reaction to you privileged status as TREACHEROUS, you generally disregard them as being unable to understand your personal FEELINGS on the subject. You find most fellow seadwellers to be either ASININE or excessively BLOODTHIRSTY and consequently prefer the company of those far LOWER than yourself. You are still quite SOCIAL, though you struggle with PALE INFIDELITY by less scrupulous lowbloods preying on your NAIVETY. You find it hard to pin down a MATESPRIT; a problem you seem to accept begrudgingly, though you still have HOPE. By contrast, BLACKROM is far less of a concern for you, though you do tend to switch KISMEISES somewhat frequently. You have no shortage of seadwellers with AUSPISTATION requests regarding lowblood trolls; you sometimes act as a 'temporary auspistice' in return for somewhat exorbitant FEES. While you privately DESPISE being a HARLOT to the ashen quadrant, you try to see your SERVICE as a way of helping trolls of both castes co-operate and avoid ‘UNNECESSARY CULLING’.

Indeed, as with your approach to the caste structure, your views on ‘CULLING’ are atypical. While not extreme enough to consider anything close to pacifism, you believe that culling must be ’FAIR’, to ensure that the best genes are passed on to FUTURE GENERATIONS. You feel that the disparity in lusii, wealth and PRIVILEGE have to be countered in order to ‘BALANCE THE EQUATION’, as you see it. This has led you to get on the wrong end of some trolls and the LAW on occasion; but your DIPLOMATIC SKILLS, combat ability and status (much to your chagrin) have helped you survive life on Alternia. You unwillingness to INTERACT with most members of your caste occasionally works in your favour, as your COMPATRIOTS tend to see you as detached from their megalomaniac highblood shenanigans and your distance helps you keep it that way.

As a seadweller, you manage to find ample time to INDULGE your personal INTERESTS. You have a particular fascination with TROLL SOCIOLOGY and PHILOSOPHY, having taken to examining the inner workings of the hemospectrum and its influence on SOCIETY, activities which have placed you under heavy surveillance at times. In defiance, you possess a private collection of ILLICIT TEXTS, covering a variety of SUBJECTS, including ‘BLOOD WARFARE’ and all manner of taboo topics that could easily get the SUBJUGGULATORS chasing after your carapace. You are somewhat interested in ATTIRE and sew your own clothes, but you generally seek to EMULATE the FASHION of renegade land trolls. Like most seadwellers, you did spend some years FLARPing, but your personal mantras got in the way of some of your matches; leading to a few rather unfortunate incidents you refuse to divulge. The SCARS from said encounters remain, though you miss FLARP and occasionally discuss past sessions with your remaining former TEAMMATES.
The rest of your free time is generally dedicated to CARD GAMES and ‘IMPROVING’ your island home, which you hope will become the BEST HIVE EVER.

Your trolltag is tethysAdder, and your Typing ƨƨtyle reflectƨƨ ur ƨƨibliance-ricħ accent, witħ few ħiƨƨtakeƨƨ and the occaƨƨional pun. U alƨƨo tend to ƨƨħortn ur wordƨƨ to ƨƨave time when ur in a ħrry.

tee ell dee arr

Name - Gamina Echino
Age - 7 Sweeps
Hemospectrum - Red-Purple (B51580)
Trolltag - tethysAdder
Strife Specibi - 2xknifekind
Fetch Modus: Card game

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First fantroll, though actually a conversion of one I made for the BtSDLb AU. My main concern is that I've crammed a lot into her character, making it difficult to keep it all 'consistent'.

[ashdenej]

The hissing quirk may well have been overdone in fantrolls, I'm afraid. Still, you've given it a tiny twist which might be fine for you I guess???

Her hair looks like it's just tall enough / on the very boundaries of acceptability, but the curl is flat on the right side - you might want to make it curve more at the top?

[CSJ]

Thank the heavens most people don't explore the possibilities of alternate characters. Those pesky landsnakes have nothing on their oceanic cousins (who also happen to be the only snakes capable of slithering in reverse).

That sprite too me too many hours for me to readily admit, but I am somewhat pleased at not creating an abomination. That curl... oh my GOD, that is just the tip of the time-consuming pixelated iceberg. The temptation to tear my arms from their sockets for their complete lack of coordination with my brain rises whenever I try to make sprites, let alone 'real art'.

Any suggestions on the literary side, before I continue to talk unnecessarily?