fantroll crit thread: thread now full, please post in the new one

[Greyhound]

Set tolerance to either 1 or 0.

(My version of Photoshop is older than I am, so I don't know if it applies to your particular version.)

Thanks so much. That absolutely fixed it!

[Quincunx]

If someone needs floral shorts they are welcome to use Hamaph's and change the colors.

[Quiskiver]

If someone needs floral shorts they are welcome to use Hamaph's and change the colors.

I shall.

[Captain Whosit]

Alright, I put my guy together with a profile. Comments on either sprite or profile would be appreciated.



>Your name is OPARTE MAGINO.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

You are a SEA DWELLER, meaning you are at the top of the Alternian blood caste system, meant to rule over all the lesser castes and you loudly proclaim your superiority to anyone who’ll put up with you long enough.

Your SEA TURTLE LUSUS raised you in your underwater hive, though he spends much of the waking night away to feed, leaving you to fend for yourself. You've learned to fend off marine predators with your TRUSTY HARPOON GUN. You are able to hit targets from a great distance, but when you don't hit, the distance is usually large enough that you can swim to some place safe before you are devoured. Sometimes things get interesting.

You rarely venture to the surface, preferring the familiarity of your underwater habitat. When you do surface, it's often to locate land dwellers who have ventured too close to the sea, whereupon you GIVE THEM A GOOD SCARE. Unless they are particularly WELL-ARMED or have an especially DANGEROUS-LOOKING LUSUS. You try to leave those trolls alone after a few close calls from your younger sweeps.

You like to explore old ruins and caves, and to have many daring adventures in the reefs and wrecks of the deep sea. That is, you would if it wasn't such risky business, but you love to read about such adventures, or to play games that put you in the role of a brave adventurer or a great admiral. You BELIEVE IN ANCESTORS even though you don't know a thing about your own, but you're CERTAIN he must have been a great captain or a mighty general or something. Something you need to live up to.

Okay, truth be told? The thought of all this responsibility IS PRETTY SCARY. Sure, you like bossing other trolls, but if you had to do that face-to-face you think you might crack. That's why you PREFER DEALING WITH OTHERS OVER TROLLIAN. If anyone wants to meet you, you just say you're too busy for things like that, though really you're just too scared and shy.

Your trolltag is superiorSeafarer and you type LOUD! BECAUSE YOU!RE THE BOSS! but sometimes your true nature shows itself.

Name: Oparte Magino
Trolltag: superiorSeafarer
Caste: Sea dweller (#6f1a80)
Gender: Male
Age: 8 Sweeps
Lusus: Sea turtle
Strife specibus: Harpoonkind
Fetch modus: Reversal Grid—captcha cards are arranged in a grid and are either Active or Inactive. Picking up or removing an item causes all surrounding cards to reverse their current state.
Quirk: All caps, all punctuation replaced by exclamation marks. Alternate quirk: No caps, no punctuation.

[Greyhound]

Okay! New Troll!



You are the Regulator. It's you.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Your name is Sandwam Regulator Tahlal Squiva, and as far as you can tell, you and your Regulator friends are Alternia's last hope for peace and harmony. Did you mention you're a Regulator? Because, if you haven't, you're a Regulator. You and your compatriots follow the path of the Summoner; by proxy the path of the Sufferer. Sure, peace, harmony, and a lack of hemospectrum would be nice, but if you have to split a few heads to do it, you will. Oh, you most certainly will.

Outside of crusading to bring peace to Alternia through good, wholesome murder, you like tinkering with spare weapons lying around, playing traditional Alternian card games (like go-horrible sea-dwelling horrorterror), and regularly swapping people in and out of your quadrants, or you would, if people hadn't gotten tired of your hedonistic behavior and told you to go away sweeps ago.

You are 8.5 solar sweeps old, by the way, a fact that you are proud of considering that most of the other Regulators are fifteen upwards. You know what else comes with youth? Reckless abandon, and yes, you play into that as well.
To your Regulator (and non-Regulator) buddies, you're a brash, impulsive guy with a heart full of love and a hand full of gun, and a veritable bounty of evildoers and rabid mutants to use it on (the gun, not the love).
Your trolltag is simplyLionhearted and you speak with a Os+rong presence +ha+ flaunts your superior marksmanship skillO

You're rather handy with a coilgun, which is why it's your strife specibus, and that's a good thing because in order to dominate the rabid lusi and criminal raiders that patrol the wastes, you have to be a good shot. Which you are. So yay.

Name: Tahlal Squiva
Trolltag: simplyLionhearted
Caste: Orange-blood Regulator #ff9900
Gender: Male
Age: 8.5 Sweeps
Lusus: Mangepup
Strife specibus: COILGUNKIND
Fetch modus: Cartridge modus-- Each item is stored in a cartridge which has to be plugged into a console for the item to be removed. If a cartridge is not used in a long time, it has to be cleaned before it can be used. Also, all the cartridges are stored in a box vertically, so you can't tell what item is which unless you memorize the order.
Quirk: No punctuation, decent spelling, replaces "t"s and "T"s with "+". Begins and ends each sentence with "O".

This profile is for a post-apocalyptic RP, by the way.

[FubbalyWubbaly]

@ Captain Whosit

I'm still no good at giving constructive feedback on the actual profiles for now, but, so far, its sounds pretty good. though, a description of his hive would be nice.

and the floral pattern really works well with the sprite.

[ailsagraystone]

Your name is ZEBARA FELLUS but you normally go by just FELLUS to keep things impersonal and natural. Speaking of natural, you live in the forest towards the north of Alterina alone, in a simple one story hive. You are 7.5 sweeps old and have GREEN BLOOD, but you don't really care that much about your blood color. At least when you are alone like you normally are.
You have lived alone since an accident cost you your eye and your Lusus, and though you miss your Hawkmom, you feel better now that you have one less mouth to feed. Because of the consent need for food, you are a pretty good HUNTER and you are alright with the BOW and ARROW along with your favored weapons, THROWING KNIFES. You have pretty good SURVIVAL SKILLS, but have to refresh your knowledge with the info you gathered from a book left in a hole near your hive. You also have a secret passion for TRASHY ROMANTIC MOVIES AND BOOKS that you would be MORTIFIED if anyone found.
Because of all your time alone, you tend to be QUITE but DIRECT with people. You tend not to hold anything back, being PRETTY HARSH but HONEST. When someone criticizes you, it tends not to bother you much, except when they talk about your EYE or THE WAY YOU LIVE. You really do not care much about the HEMOSPECTRUM when you are alone, but when you are amongst people of a HIGHER BLOOD CLASS you are very respectful and quiet, at least to a point. Around lowerbloods you are yourself and helpful at times with those who have less then you... to a point. Above all, you want to SURVIVE and will do much to insure your own survival. You don't believe there is anything wrong with that.

Your trollhandle is highwayEscapist and you type kinD oF likE thiS anD don'T givE a slumgubbinG goD whO careS.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Name: Zebara Fellus
Age: 7.5 Sweeps
Gender: Female
Blood Color: Green (#008000)
Height: 4'10
Lusus: A now dead Hawkbeast (Redtailed Hawk)
Strifekind: Knifekind mostly. Only uses bowkind when hunting
Fetch Modus: Bestiary Modus, which assigns a random type of animal to each item, and she needs to list off its habitat and main diet to get said item.
Trolltag: highwayEscapist
Land: Steam and Ultraviolance
Title: Theif of Heart

This is my whole fantroll profile, I am curious what people think of it. Any tips or suggestions are welcome. I just want to roleplay and have fun so... ya.

[Hatman Hatmyth Hatlegend]

I know this'll be bad but... fuck it I gotta get it criticized. I expect many bad things happening.

Picture:



>Be the bare-chested troll

Your name is SIDERO FEMARS.

You are MADE OF IRON. Seriously, it is like super cold outside and you still don't wear a shirt. You don't even have HEATING in your hive as you are almost NEVER THERE. You wander often in the company, if you can call it that, of your lusus. If you knew what a wolf was, you would say it matches that description except for it's unusually large fangs and eight legs. Ever since it picked you, it TESTED you by not caring about your well-being at all. At least, as far as you know. Your lusus actually defended you from MUCH LARGER AND BIGGER THREATS than what you personally encountered but you don't know that. In fact, it made you VERY COLD both physically and emotionally. You just don't get worked up about things. A big disadvantage in troll society.

You like to play games and are a fan of EXTREME ROLE-PLAYING. You are pretty good at it. Of course, the reason why you are pretty good at it is because you HAVE YET TO DIE and not because you have picked up amazing weaponry. In fact, your weapons kind of suck. They are composed entirely of things you PICK UP. Your STRIFE SPECIBUS isn't even allocated yet. What the fuck are you doing? If only you allocated Fistkind but nope, you refuse that COP-OUT. Still, many a troll that came for your life and FLARP treasures ended up paying the ultimate price, thinking you were defenseless. You still remember that time you stabbed another troll kid in the chest with his moirail's horns. Hey, they broke the cardinal rule when it comes to interacting with you : Don't start none, won't be none. And it's not exactly your fault that his horns were pretty stab-friendly.

Your trolltag is wanderingMetalloid and you speak with a subdued voice... almost 6reathless... with 2ero intonation...

Name: Sidero Femars
Trolltag: wanderingMetalloid
Blood color: Green (#409000)

Miscellaneous details:
Typing quirk: No capitals, lots of ellipses, replaces Zs with 2s and Bs with 6s
Lusus: Eight-legged, gigantic fanged wolf-like creature.
Strife Specibus: Unallocated but has affinity for a LOT of possible allocations. He just hasn't found anything worth allocating yet.
Fetch Modus: Survivalist Fetch Modus - Depending on the area, you are given a certain amount of things immediately allocated to your fetch modus. You cannot place items in your modus. They are placed for you. Tough luck junior.
Quadrant Partners: None, has extreme difficulty with non-pale quadrants.
Abilities : The "psychic" power of being absurdly sturdy.

Sburb details:
Land: Land of something and something else (I dunno yet)
Title: Unknown
Dreamself Planet: Prospit

[Sandvich King]

@ailsagraystone: The first thing I noticed was that the sprite was saves as a .jpg image. NEVER DO THIS! That compressed format causes quality loss and nasty artifacts that have to be undone manually.

Do you happen to have a copy saved as a .png or still have the image editor open from before you saved the jpg? Because then your image can be rescued by saving it in a lossless .PNG format like all sprites should be.

[ailsagraystone]

Yeah, I have one saved as a .png I should have thought about that! Silly mistake, one that I can luckily fix.

[Sandvich King]

@alisa: Okay, good!

@Whosit: He looks pretty solid to me. I like the "acts bossy but sometimes doubts he has the bravery to back his claims" deal. I would like to hear more about his life at his hive, and maybe how he gets along with his lusus whenever it is around. Also, what does he think about having to meet other trolls to fill his quadrants if he wants to live? As for the sprite, everything looks pretty good too. Were you going for blood-colored eye-bags like the ones Equius had?

[probableWizardry]

@ Whosit

Alright, I put my guy together with a profile. Comments on either sprite or profile would be appreciated.



>Your name is OPARTE MAGINO.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

You are a SEA DWELLER, meaning you are at the top of the Alternian blood caste system, meant to rule over all the lesser castes and you loudly proclaim your superiority to anyone who’ll put up with you long enough.

Your SEA TURTLE LUSUS raised you in your underwater hive, though he spends much of the waking night away to feed, leaving you to fend for yourself. You've learned to fend off marine predators with your TRUSTY HARPOON GUN. You are able to hit targets from a great distance, but when you don't hit, the distance is usually large enough that you can swim to some place safe before you are devoured. Sometimes things get interesting.

You rarely venture to the surface, preferring the familiarity of your underwater habitat. When you do surface, it's often to locate land dwellers who have ventured too close to the sea, whereupon you GIVE THEM A GOOD SCARE. Unless they are particularly WELL-ARMED or have an especially DANGEROUS-LOOKING LUSUS. You try to leave those trolls alone after a few close calls from your younger sweeps.

You like to explore old ruins and caves, and to have many daring adventures in the reefs and wrecks of the deep sea. That is, you would if it wasn't such risky business, but you love to read about such adventures, or to play games that put you in the role of a brave adventurer or a great admiral. You BELIEVE IN ANCESTORS even though you don't know a thing about your own, but you're CERTAIN he must have been a great captain or a mighty general or something. Something you need to live up to.

Okay, truth be told? The thought of all this responsibility IS PRETTY SCARY. Sure, you like bossing other trolls, but if you had to do that face-to-face you think you might crack. That's why you PREFER DEALING WITH OTHERS OVER TROLLIAN. If anyone wants to meet you, you just say you're too busy for things like that, though really you're just too scared and shy.

Your trolltag is superiorSeafarer and you type LOUD! BECAUSE YOU!RE THE BOSS! but sometimes your true nature shows itself.

Name: Oparte Magino
Trolltag: superiorSeafarer
Caste: Sea dweller (#6f1a80)
Gender: Male
Age: 8 Sweeps
Lusus: Sea turtle
Strife specibus: Harpoonkind
Fetch modus: Reversal Grid—captcha cards are arranged in a grid and are either Active or Inactive. Picking up or removing an item causes all surrounding cards to reverse their current state.
Quirk: All caps, all punctuation replaced by exclamation marks. Alternate quirk: No caps, no punctuation.

Looking good, looking good, but the blue on his shorts seems to clashing with the purple. (If clashing is the right term.) If not it just doesn't look like its the right shade of blue, perhaps try something brighter or darker? Otherwise he seems cool, the profile is to the point. Perhaps go further into his views on certain things? Like Seadwellers that are unnecessarily dickish/wussy? Or lowbloods that think they can take on the world? Stuff like that. But otherwise you've got this. c:

@Hatman

show spoiler

hide spoiler

I know this'll be bad but... fuck it I gotta get it criticized. I expect many bad things happening.

Picture:



>Be the bare-chested troll

Your name is SIDERO FEMARS.

You are MADE OF IRON. Seriously, it is like super cold outside and you still don't wear a shirt. You don't even have HEATING in your hive as you are almost NEVER THERE. You wander often in the company, if you can call it that, of your lusus. If you knew what a wolf was, you would say it matches that description except for it's unusually large fangs and eight legs. Ever since it picked you, it TESTED you by not caring about your well-being at all. At least, as far as you know. Your lusus actually defended you from MUCH LARGER AND BIGGER THREATS than what you personally encountered but you don't know that. In fact, it made you VERY COLD both physically and emotionally. You just don't get worked up about things. A big disadvantage in troll society.

You like to play games and are a fan of EXTREME ROLE-PLAYING. You are pretty good at it. Of course, the reason why you are pretty good at it is because you HAVE YET TO DIE and not because you have picked up amazing weaponry. In fact, your weapons kind of suck. They are composed entirely of things you PICK UP. Your STRIFE SPECIBUS isn't even allocated yet. What the fuck are you doing? If only you allocated Fistkind but nope, you refuse that COP-OUT. Still, many a troll that came for your life and FLARP treasures ended up paying the ultimate price, thinking you were defenseless. You still remember that time you stabbed another troll kid in the chest with his moirail's horns. Hey, they broke the cardinal rule when it comes to interacting with you : Don't start none, won't be none. And it's not exactly your fault that his horns were pretty stab-friendly.

Your trolltag is wanderingMetalloid and you speak with a subdued voice... almost 6reathless... with 2ero intonation...

Name: Sidero Femars
Trolltag: wanderingMetalloid
Blood color: Green (#409000)

Miscellaneous details:
Typing quirk: No capitals, lots of ellipses, replaces Zs with 2s and Bs with 6s
Lusus: Eight-legged, gigantic fanged wolf-like creature.
Strife Specibus: Unallocated but has affinity for a LOT of possible allocations. He just hasn't found anything worth allocating yet.
Fetch Modus: Survivalist Fetch Modus - Depending on the area, you are given a certain amount of things immediately allocated to your fetch modus. You cannot place items in your modus. They are placed for you. Tough luck junior.
Quadrant Partners: None, has extreme difficulty with non-pale quadrants.
Abilities : The "psychic" power of being absurdly sturdy.

Sburb details:
Land: Land of something and something else (I dunno yet)
Title: Unknown
Dreamself Planet: Prospit

Oh hi, Irontroll! Nah, Jk. Althought you could probably go more in depth on the misc details, and other things too? Everyone loves to see hemospectrum views, its nuts. :P

[PriffyViole]

Remember that red android from a few pages ago? Well, I just made her God-Tier sprite. Though I can't really decide if her hair-needles should be recolored with the colors for Heart or not. Here's both:



Also, about her symbol: the Light symbol on Rose's outfit wasn't completely aliased, as I found out when I cobbled this together. Should I leave the Heart symbol as-is or completely alias it?

[FubbalyWubbaly]

oh, I was wondering if I could have a little bit of sprite help on Dukrir Mexinn?



right now, he feels... mmmm, incomplete

[canidaeVulpecula]

Coming along great so far, I especially like the detail on the pants. I honestly cant say I know if the face is aligned properly or not but I think you know what youre doing, so it probably is. Id lower the hairline a bit unless his forehead is supposed to be that big

[FubbalyWubbaly]

ok, I'll try alining the face up and I'll work a bit on the hair, thanks

how about now?

[ashdenej]

Much better - although the horn on the right seems to be too... large? Too high up? Too unhidden by the hair that should be in front of it.

[Captain Whosit]

@ Captain Whosit

I'm still no good at giving constructive feedback on the actual profiles for now, but, so far, its sounds pretty good. though, a description of his hive would be nice.

and the floral pattern really works well with the sprite.

I'll see if I can squeeze a brief description in. Glad you like the floral, though, I just stole the design from one of Kanaya's dresses.

@Whosit: He looks pretty solid to me. I like the "acts bossy but sometimes doubts he has the bravery to back his claims" deal. I would like to hear more about his life at his hive, and maybe how he gets along with his lusus whenever it is around. Also, what does he think about having to meet other trolls to fill his quadrants if he wants to live? As for the sprite, everything looks pretty good too. Were you going for blood-colored eye-bags like the ones Equius had?

I think I can find room to add a bit more about the lusus, though keep in mind with Gamzee, for example, we never heard much besides his lusus not being around. As for quadrants, I really prefer not to include that type of information in my profiles as it feels out-of-place there. Even at 8 sweeps, though, it's something he assumes will just happen and he won't really worry about it until the clock starts running out. And I was indeed mimicking the bags under Equius' eyes.

@ Whosit

Looking good, looking good, but the blue on his shorts seems to clashing with the purple. (If clashing is the right term.) If not it just doesn't look like its the right shade of blue, perhaps try something brighter or darker? Otherwise he seems cool, the profile is to the point. Perhaps go further into his views on certain things? Like Seadwellers that are unnecessarily dickish/wussy? Or lowbloods that think they can take on the world? Stuff like that. But otherwise you've got this. c:

The shorts are supposed to clash; that's the point. So I'm glad it's working. In my opinion, stuff like his attitudes towards particular types of trolls shouldn't go in the profile. I like to keep my profiles as short and to the point as possible, which means only including the most relevant information. But if you're curious, any opinion he has would be based on a self-centered attitude. He wouldn't really like anyone who makes him feel weak.

So, revised profile below:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

>Your name is OPARTE MAGINO.

You are a SEA DWELLER, meaning you are at the top of the Alternian blood caste system, meant to rule over all the lesser castes and you loudly proclaim your superiority to anyone who’ll put up with you long enough.

Your SEA TURTLE LUSUS raised you in your underwater hive—a rambling affair of spires and gaudy decorations—though he spends much of the waking night away to feed, leaving you to fend for yourself. You still get along fine, and sometimes you even go out hunting together, but as you’ve gotten older, you’ve both spent more and more time doing your own things. You've learned to fend off marine predators with your TRUSTY HARPOON GUN. You are able to hit targets from a great distance, but when you don't hit, the distance is usually large enough that you can swim to some place safe before you are devoured. Sometimes things get interesting.

You rarely venture to the surface, preferring the familiarity of your underwater habitat. When you do surface, it's often to locate land dwellers who have ventured too close to the sea, whereupon you GIVE THEM A GOOD SCARE. Unless they’re bigger than a wiggler, or they’re particularly WELL-ARMED, or have an especially DANGEROUS-LOOKING LUSUS. You try to leave those trolls alone after a few close calls from your younger sweeps.

You like to explore old ruins and caves, and to have many daring adventures in the reefs and wrecks of the deep sea. That is, you would if it wasn't such risky business, but you love to read about such adventures, or to play games that put you in the role of a brave adventurer or a great admiral. You BELIEVE IN ANCESTORS even though you don't know a thing about your own, but you're CERTAIN he must have been a great captain or a mighty general or something. Something you need to live up to.

Okay, truth be told? The thought of all this responsibility IS PRETTY SCARY. Sure, you like bossing other trolls, but if you had to do that face-to-face you think you might crack. That's why you PREFER DEALING WITH OTHERS OVER TROLLIAN. If anyone wants to meet you, you just say you're too busy for things like that, though really you're just too scared and shy.

Your trolltag is [color=”6f1a80”]superiorSeafarer[/color] and you type [color=”6f1a80”]LOUD! BECAUSE YOU!RE THE BOSS! but sometimes your true nature shows itself.[/color]

Name: Oparte Magino
Trolltag: superiorSeafarer
Caste: Sea dweller (#6f1a80)
Gender: Male
Age: 8 Sweeps
Lusus: Sea turtle
Strife specibus: Harpoonkind
Fetch modus: Reversal Grid—captcha cards are arranged in a grid and are either Active or Inactive. Items can only be placed in or removed from an Active card. A brand new grid has only one Active slot. Placing an item in or removing an item from an Active card causes that card to become Inactive and all surrounding cards to reverse their current state.
Quirk: All caps, all punctuation replaced by exclamation marks. Alternate quirk: No caps, no punctuation.

Bonus sprite someone told me to make:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

[FubbalyWubbaly]

Much better - although the horn on the right seems to be too... large? Too high up? Too unhidden by the hair that should be in front of it.

Hmmmm... I'll see if I can mess around with the horn and hair a bit more

[Hatman Hatmyth Hatlegend]

Oh hi, Irontroll! Nah, Jk. Althought you could probably go more in depth on the misc details, and other things too? Everyone loves to see hemospectrum views, its nuts. :P

I tried to keep it basic, looking at the MSPA troll intros, they really don't tell much. I guess that since this is a whole profile, those would be on there. Also, I'm changing the name of the Fetch Modus to the RDA Fetch Modus (named for, naturally, Richard Dean Anderson of MacGyver/Stargate SG-1 fame but the troll version, naturally).

Other than hemospectrum views, anything else I could toss in there?

[ailsagraystone]

Okay, I got that fixed.

[Zwitter]

Hi, this is my first fantroll. Be gentle >_<


Your name is LANUAR UNDAII an you are 11 sweeps old. You know for being 11 sweeps you should be out on an adventure of IMPERIAL CONQUEST but no, here you are still in your HIVE. You spend your time DRAWING, LAYING ABOUT, and playing with various SEA CREATURES. You have yourself pretty ISOLATED in your UNDER WATER hive, but not by choice. Other SEA DWELLING trolls have pretty much SHUNED you. You figuer it’s because of your lack of MOTIVATION, WILL, and your freakish LUSUS.

You often find yourself wondering what in glubs name allowed you to survive the trials and how your lusus even managed to raise you. After all it’s a small BLUBBERY SEA PIG. Most of all you are BAFFELED at how you have ROYAL BLOOD in you. You don’t feel royal, you feel as though you shouls have been a COMMON BLOOD. You rather LIKE the landdwelling common bloods, but what can you do?

Your trolltag is apatheticAquarian and you talk ...as though you really dont care about anything...

This is her lusus.

[FubbalyWubbaly]

It's comming along good. I would really like to know their aditude towards other trolls, or even other blued colours

[Sandvich King]

She cannot be on Alterna at that age at all.

The drones will cull any troll who refuses to leave, and the fan-accepted age of "depart or die" is 10 sweeps.

[ashdenej]

fan-accepted age

I located your problem with "cannot be on Alternia at that age"!

It's because you are using fanon as canon. Zwitter can make them elven sweeps if they really want to - it's not really stretching anything we know in canon at all!