Pokemon Black Blind Nuzlocke Challenge

[DecidedlyDevious]

I had an idea for this when Pokemon B&W came out but I never really decided to pursue it. I did end up buying Pokemon Black buuuut my friend "accidentally" (which is to say, totally purposefully) save over my file. I hadn't even gotten to the first gym, but for whatever reason I just couldn't bring myself to start over. Come to about a year later and I've forgotten what little I did play. I find myself gainfully employed in feeding other people's cats, and with little else to do, I figured I would give this a shot. I can't say I'm doing this for anyone's benefit but my own. It will be a journal of the experiences and random shit that happens as I discover Pokemon Black through Nuzlocke rules.

Here are the rules I've set for myself:

*If a Pokemon faints, he is released as if dead.
*The first Pokemon sighted in a route will be the only Pokemon I can catch. If it faints or I run out of pokeballs trying to catch the fucker, then oh well! This is only true if I have available slots. I don't want to completely limit my options
*I can never own more than six pokemon at a time. If I own six pokemon, the above rule does not apply (but I can't catch anything anyway).
*I will not use walkthroughs, guides, or the bulbapedia for anything. Advice you guys give me is fair game (though I'd prefer you all leave as much unspoiled as possible).
*This isn't necessarily a rule, but I can guarantee you I will be frustratingly unstrategic and weird in my choices. If I just so happen to have a weird pokemon I find interesting, I will probably use it, no matter how much it sucks.
*Pokemon will be kept no more than three levels apart. If a pokemon gets "overleveled" I won't use that pokemon unless the ones that are "underleveled" catch up or die. I could abuse this rule, but I won't.
*If I white-out, I lose.

Again, I am terrible at video games but Pokemon, for the most part, has been rather easy, so I'm not expecting too much of a crazy challenge. I'm pretty much expecting terrible lapses in judgment and having little idea of what the content is to be the main difficulty here.

Terrible Lapses in Judgment: 2
No Idea About the Content Issues: 1

Pokemon encountered on:
Nuvema Town (Drillgorg the Snivy Seviper)
Route 1 (Expendable the Patrat) [Murdered by tadpoles in Pinwheel forest.]
Route 2 (Meowser the Purrloin) [FACED DESTINY and lost in Missile-tron city]
Dreamyard (GeneX the Panpour) [Died in a BLAZE OF GLORY in Opheul- er the city with the dragon guy]
Route 3 (Bamoehn the Blitzle) [Revenge killed by rodents Day 3 in Nacrene City]
Wellspring Cave (Crazy-8 the Drillbur Excadrill)
Pinwheel Forest (Bratmon the Timburr) [Went on a suicidal rampage in Nimbasa City)
Route 4 (Omega the Scraggy Scrafty)
Ruined Castle (HankyPanky the Yamask Cofagrigus)
Celestial Tower (JordanTH the Litwick Chandelure
Route 5 (ShyDragon the Tornadus)

Names submitted for disposal:

ArmsAreLoud for a Joltik
AProcrastinatingWriter for a pokemon that immediately dies.
LegendaryQ for a Garbodor or Trubbish
ShyDragon for a Dragon pokemon or Whimsicott or anything at all
Slowpoke for Tirtotuga or Sandile
Bamoehn for anything
Dentrala for BEELZEBUB a Woobat
Hyperdrive for Anything
Jimmy for a Ford Explorer
Wiwaxia for the fossilmon
muffinz for a Bug-type
MrLL for anything
~ATH for a Dragon type
youdont12know for an HM slave
Bratmon for anything
tinning3 for Vanillite
Superdog

Not sure if this will be a proper "Let's Play" with user suggestions and stuff since I want to keep myself as untainted with foreknowledge as possible, but if anybody would like a pokemon named after them I could certainly oblige that. On that subject, if you guys start talking about the game and technical aspects please put it in spoilers so I don't read them. Maybe I will go back and read them later and be all "ooo wish I knew that." Ahhh yess

Well without further ado... Let's begin our pokeventure! YEAAAAAAAAH!



Suuuup. I think this is the first time we've had a female Pokemon Professor. Pokeworld's been getting progressive on us.



Well hey, if you count as "everyone" then more power to you. "Army of one" and all that.



And your hand-eye co-ordination is simply to die for.



biting and clawing each other in veritable cock fights to the death.



Sure! I like French food, long walks in the beach, staring into each others eyes...



Oh yeah, that's probably important to square away, too.



I decided to be the chick. She looked far more hardcore than the boy. Those cuffs say, "Fuck these stupid animals, I will strangle you with my own bare hands." This is the kind of mentality we will need if we want to succeed.



Well I dunno I mean you're kind of a stranger...



O-okay you're kinda freaking me out here.



I came up with "Sasalas". Yeah, don't ask.



Ah yes, the inevitable rival- WAIT TWO?!



HA NERD I could kick your ass to the moon and back.



HA SUPERNERD I could kick your ass to Pluto and back. And to think I almost felt threatened.



Orgies?



AWESOME!



FINALLY I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER SHUT UP

Anyway, I'm going to skip over the other boring stuff that happens. Here's what I've really been waiting for. The starter pokemon. I have to say, the choices are... disappointing. We've got:



Some sort of beaver/seal/cat hybrid. Honestly, I can see why he's eternally frowning. It must be difficult to be the professor's first bio-genetic experiment.



A fire pig. Like, really? Besides just being a rehash of the Grumpig sprite, we somehow got fire out of that as well. Not that the fiery starters have made much sense since cyndaquil, but I digress. Also I feel like his eye is just... floating there. It's not quite attached to his body but the more I stare... oh god I will never sleep again.



Finally we have this... thing. I guess it's supposed to be a snake as it's the only starter final evolution I've seen but this version has legs. I... guess legs are vestigial when you're supposed to be a snake? Well whatever...

And now I feel bad for bashing a bunch of cute digital animals.

Not sure which starter to pick, they all seem... equally pleasant. I'll come back to it later.

[Nocturne]

Snivy fo realz, the best

[-Benedict]

Ja mon Snivy is the bomb. He's also, like, the only grass type in the early game unless you count the monkey thing, so he's worth using for reasons other than "the other two starters look like rejected Neopets". Otherwise I'd pick Tepig, since again he's one of the game's few Fire types.

[Karhs12]

Pick Oshawott because why the fuck not.

[Dentrala]

Snivy because peer pressure?

[godFish]

Snivy because I played through with Oshawott and because then you don't have to use any of the freaking creepy elemental monkey pokemon oh god.

Also Tepig is basically the lamest starter since gen 4's fire starter.

[ArmsAreLoud]

It really doesn't matter, all three of them are grossly inferior to other Pokemon you get later (Basculin and Frillish are both much better than Oshawott, Litwick and Darumaka are both much better than Tepig, and Whimsicott is probably one of the best Pokemon in the game while Snivy is pretty weak).

This is like, the ONLY Pokemon game I never beat the E4 with my starter in my team.

Also Tepig is basically the lamest starter since gen 4's fire starter.

Agreed. They missed a perfectly good opportunity for a Fire/Dark Ganon Pokemon and they completely ruined it.

[-Benedict]

I know, right? Three games in a row with a fire -> fire/fighting -> fire/fighting starter evolution line. Did they think Infernape and Blaziken needed company or something?

[ArmsAreLoud]

Blaziken was kind of cool and got better when I got older and realized the implications of a fighting type chicken

Infernape was eh, interesting idea but had a weird design I did not enjoy

Emboar is a fat ass that makes farting noises whenever he enters the room.

[Drillgorg]

Snivy.

Name it Drillgorg.

...

Because there is no chance in hell he'll be able to catch a drillbur using those rules.

[Nocturne]

What I didn't like about 4th gen was that each of the starters had a secondary strength against their weakness. It was pretty disappointing when my Infernape could just Close Combat my rival's Empoleon and OHKO it (Fighting > Steel).

Anyways, I heard that Snivy's evolution was supposed to be Sceptile-level good, so I'd eat that shit up were I DD. And yeah, I forgot about those weird monkeys ;-;

[godFish]

Blaziken was kind of cool and got better when I got older and realized the implications of a fighting type chicken

Also the blaziken line was a giant friend chicken joke which makes it even better.

[-Benedict]

Augh, the monkeys. And of course, unless you grind up a Patrat or Lillipup (what the fuck kind of pokemon game literally doesn't let you fill a full party before the first gym), you're pretty much forced to waste gym EXP on one of them.

[ArmsAreLoud]

Anyways, I heard that Snivy's evolution was supposed to be Sceptile-level good, so I'd eat that shit up were I DD. And yeah, I forgot about those weird monkeys ;-;

Smuglord is actually pretty lame. Prankster Whimsicott is the best grass type in the game.

Priority on Substitute and Leech Life is basically unstoppable since NPC's rarely if ever have priority moves.

[godFish]

Not to mention grinding up a Patrat or Lillipup is also a waste of gym EXP

(Now I really want to play my White version again but I don't want to loose all my pokemans)

[DecidedlyDevious]

Snivy.

Name it Drillgorg.

...

Because there is no chance in hell he'll be able to catch a drillbur using those rules.

There is no guarantee I'll be able to catch any specific pokemon ever. Except maybe this generation's rendition of Rattata.

Which is what makes this choice so important. This is the only time I'll really get to choose what type of pokemon I have in my party. A good point was made in that water pokemon are far more abundant in every generation. I'm expecting this one not to disappoint, so oshawott is out. I am not training a pig so that leaves one option:



I'll just give in to all the peer pressure because I'm a manipulable asshole. Incidentally, it never offered to name it. Dunno what's up with that.



Because you're a NERD. Now give me your lunch money.



Well at least that makes one person.



Oh yay now we get to do the whole Rival Battle schtick. Won't it be hilarious if I lose instantaneously?



A wild bitch appears!



Wild bitch uses Oshawott. It's not very effective...



Yeah, wow. You ruined my house. Good job.



Yeah, me too.



Correction: your first pokemon battle.



And it shows. Tail Whip is fun and all, but it's not going to help you if you never attack.



One level of many, my friend.



No. NO. I refuse to see that long-winded little... fine. But it better be worth my time.



Yes, little animals tearing each other apart is definitely something I would describe as "lively".



Ah, thanks lady! Now could you tell me what this thing does, exactly?



W-wait! No! God dammit, why is it the one time I'd like someone to make an impromptu explanation about how to use something I've owned my entire life, it doesn't happen? Well whatever, hopefully it's not too important.



Well, we're in this stupid town now. Best find Professor Jupiter or whatever the hell.




What's she doing? Popping quaaludes or something? Maybe she'll at least share.



Right I was just leaving. Anyway I finally manage to uh... "collect" the flighty broad over here and make it to Professor Juxtapose or whatever.



You give little kids vicious animals trained for combat and you're surprised they tried to sneak a little action in before a visit? Girl, you better not have children.

She finally offers to nickname my snivy and I gotta say



This is so fucking tempting. But...



I can understand Drilly's desire to be my pet forever, even if it is on a silly kids game.



I know at least one person who agrees!



Wait, what? No, this wasn't part of the deal, lady. Fuck you. Fuck you so hard.






FINE YOU'VE GUILTED ME INTO IT NOW LET'S DO THIS BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND!!



It was the only answer, PokeFrau



Wowee. I've always found the story parts of Pokemon games to be particularly grating. I don't know if it's because it's the same story over and over again, or because I just want to murder other small animals with my small animals without interruption. Hopefully this will get better, or at the very least less invasive.

[ArmsAreLoud]

Pro tip: You do not get a Rod until after you have already beaten the E4 so water types are not, in fact, abundant. I think the only one you can get on land is Basculin through a trade.

[DecidedlyDevious]

Hmmm, I wasn't even thinking about the rods. There must at least be some surf-able routes? I dunno! That's part of the point of doing it blind!

[ArmsAreLoud]

There are, but to get to them you need a Pokemon that can use Surf.

Which is basically just Oshawott and Basculin.

You may find that you need to cheat if you don't get the Pokemon required to get Basculin. :U

[DecidedlyDevious]

That's also a thing I didn't think of. I suppose if the game is filled with enough gall to make surf super specific I'll have to do something. But I'll cross that bridge when it matters.

Oh hey, speaking of, I should make a counter of all of my terrible lapses in judgment. That would be a fun thing!

[Drillgorg]

What no there are a lot more that can learn surf: Ducklett, Tympole, Herdier, and Bouffalant to name some easier to get ones.

(Also thanks for naming a snivy after me! Its only tradition since one guy named his snivy after NAS.)

[ArmsAreLoud]

I forgot about Ducklett and Tympole (because, y'know, they're really forgettable) but Herdier and Bouffalant can learn Surf??? What madness is this???

[Tren]

I predict this LP crashing pretty hard at the third gym.

[Drillgorg]

I forgot about Ducklett and Tympole (because, y'know, they're really forgettable) but Herdier and Bouffalant can learn Surf??? What madness is this???

Well Herdier (and its evolution) obviously do the dog paddle, but Bouffalant is giving me traumatic flashbacks to fording the river in Oregon Trail.

[Hanky Panky]

Bouffalant learning surf....

I imagine it would resemble this.