EQUIQUEST: 2010: CON YA DIGGIT? (COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!(say like kahn))

[wolftamer9]

Oh god Nepeta why aren't you this badass in Homestuck

> Nepeta: Save his ass.

[Trish]

> Equius: Make a robot for Vriska.





First, you gather your materials. You fix up some 37-piece preschool puzzles and discover a photograph you didn’t want to see. For whatever reason though, you get the feeling someone’s trying to tell you something.

> Equius: Get back to Vriska.

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CT: D--> Sorry that took so long
AG: Gooooooood, who are you even wasting mine and Aradia’s time with over there?
AG: I saw you ignoring me straight into your phone!!!!!!!!
AG: Shitty model, 8y the way.
CT: D--> It was my troll friend Bitchard
AG: ……..
CT: D--> He is dead now
CT: D--> You bastard
AG: Cut the the8rics and give me that fuckin’ ro8ot code. I’m all ready to alchemize me some soul8ot.
CT: D--> Theeightrics
CT: D--> Really
AG: Get off your highhoof8east and quit mastur88ing your ego, Zahaak! I don’t want to sit through this any more than you do.
CT: D--> You disgust me
CT: D--> I can’t even look at your grammars anymore
AG: SON OF A BITCH I WILL TRY TO MAKE YOU CUT YOURSELF!!!!!!!!
CT: D--> Fiiiiiiiine
AG: D::::<
CT: D--> The code is
CT: D--> As printed
CT: D--> No joke
CT: D--> 0RADia0X
AG: FIIIIIIIINALLYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
AG: I’d thank you 8ut what, with you 8eing such a royal nooksucker and all ;;;;)
CT: D--> Wait
CT: D--> Shit
AG: Adios, senor centaur, have fun with your testicles or whatever you do over there!
AG: And don’t you even think about giving Aradia your ro8otsprite!
AG: It’s ugly and gross.
CT: D--> But that wasn’t the right code
AG: Go stick it up your ammonia disposal hose.

arachnidsGrip [AG] has ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT]

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Aw nuts. Well that couldn’t have any bearing on the future or anything, which you know is statistically probable. If you see Scorpiogirl later, you’ll remember to punch her. Hard. Right in the shoulders. Oh, that’ll sting. Hmm, what if doing that hurts real Vriska too? That’s a toughie.

Also the house is really coming down now. You’d better get to climbing!

> Equius: Enter



> Troll Vriska: Get: Robot!



Why do you hafta say TROLL Vriska? It’s not like there’s any other types of Vriska running around here. Because you’re the only type of Vriska that exists!

But look at this piece of shit Equius sent you! That dick!

> Vriska: Repair robot



Oh, you'll do more than repair it. You're gonna make this thing the best damn robot Aradia the world's ever seen! Your badass repairs will be legendary. It's not like you have anything else to do, anyways.

> Rose: Assemble.

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proirotInvestigator [PI] has opened chatroom #mysterymachine.
s$madkash$s [MK] has joined the chat.
PI: Hello, Dave and everyone who will soon enter.
MK: whats this about rose
PI: I've invited you, prettycoolSepulcherdude and appleDarling to this invite-only chat channel.
PI: It's about the recent disappearance of Equius.
MK: oh man this again
prettycoolSepulcherdude [PS] has entered the chat.
PS: you already know what happened?
appleDarling [AD] has entered the chat.
PI: Yes - in fact, ak8erBoi told me all about it.
AD: shouldnt we invite her in?
PI: Four people is more than enough. Any more and we'd have a bit of a clusterfuck.
PS: but she's cool!
PI: Hey, my chat, my rules!
PI: Anyway, I'm worried about the rest of our class.
MK: so you really think well all get sucked in to this mad alternian universe and shit
PI: Sadly, yes.
PI: At least all of the "trolls", meaning everybody but the four of us.
PI: Another reason why I've chosen to only invite you three.
PS: i've been reading the latest updates and...has anyone seen nepeta or sollux since the chuck e. cheese?
PS: i think they're in the story now, too!
MK: man this isnt anything i need to worry about though
MK: im just gonna kinda leave
PI: But we need you to make us a foursome!
PI: It's thematic.
sk8erBoi [SB] has entered the chat.
SB: Heeeey!!!
PS: heeeeeeeey!!!!!!!!
PI: Oh god, and you're even using eight exclamation points.
AD: didn't think youd acutally do it, john! XP
MK: i see youve found my replacement
s$madKash$s [MK] has left the chat.
PI: Look what you did, John. We could've had him on our side!
AD: sorry rose, i think thats kind of wishful thinking on your part
SB: Hey Rose, I know you're angry and stuff now, that i'm here, and dude, I know I'm pretty much doomed! But you can trust me with yours plans yo! I'll give it my all!
SB: I'll skateboard right over that Andrew and end this whole shebang! >8J
AD: you can do it dude, i believe in you!
PS: vriska's not the fred or the shaggy, or even the scooby-doo of the gang...
PS: SHE'S THE CAR.
SB: BEEP BEEP VROOOOOOOOM
PI: I was going to share some information with you, but it looks like you're not even taking this seriously.
PI: I'll just be a one-man Mystery Gang.
SB: Tch!
SB: Sorry, but you're as lame as I don't know WHAT.
PS: fine, i'm sorry, rose!
PS: vriska, next time try to dial it down.
SB: >::::?
PI: There probably won't be a next time.
PI: I'm going to go sift through my newspaper clippings some more.
PI: If you have anything to tell/ask me, meet me at school.
proirotInvestigator [PI] has closed #mysterymachine

END OF DAY ONE

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First of all, we would like to say that Bitchard is a product of B-U-N-G-L-E-F-U-C-K-E-D, another fan-venture on this site. Maybe you should take a look at it. If you want to.

Also, starting next post, we will become Aradia Hussie, waking up to get ready for school, so aim requests at that and stuff. And, after we be her for a while, we wanna know: who would YOU like to be?

[Naristar]

Yay!!
Is she moving like a pokemon on purpose?

[Trish]

Moving like a troll-shaped Pokemon, maybe.

Also, as a couple of side-notes, the post did get checked by moderators and finally put up, and yes, wow I have not made very many posts at all. Plus, we fied s$madKash$s's text color, since it was SUSPICIOUSLY hard to read before!

And day two is fast approaching--!

[Naristar]

((see I was thinking it reminded me of Rapidash....yeah I'm a geek))

Aradiea wear the pink sweater

[OrangeAipom]

At some point a character should remark on how human Equius swears a lot compared to troll Equius.

I don't know how to phrase this as a command though.

[Weather Report]

At some point a character should remark on how human Equius swears a lot compared to troll Equius.

I don't know how to phrase this as a command though.

Well, sometime we'll show the fanbase's reaction... don't know when though, but I can assure you it will be pretty sad.

EDIT: Well, then again, Equius didn't get to SAY anything in the story, since he was switched the very day he APPEARED. But we can figure that in at some point somehow.

[OrangeAipom]

Well, sometime we'll show the fanbase's reaction... don't know when though, but I can assure you it will be pretty sad.

EDIT: Well, then again, Equius didn't get to SAY anything in the story, since he was switched the very day he APPEARED. But we can figure that in at some point somehow.

Yeah, that's why I said a character. As in a Hivebent character. Nobody else would be able to tell.

[Weather Report]

Yeah, that's why I said a character. As in a Hivebent character. Nobody else would be able to tell.

Good point. Then again, a bunch of them are busy being put into the highly exaggerated character bus and are driving too wildly to tell (we'll see if they can fit that in somewhere) :WINK WONK:

[Gira]

Yeah, I was actually thinking about that too! This Equius is... a lot different from regular Equius, so maybe we could have one of the more 'level headed' trolls comment on how he has suddenly become non-creepawkward.

[greenMachine]

Sweet plot twist! And...uh...hella conspiracy? It's one of those things that I should have seen coming due to earlier exposition, but I didn't.

After Aradia, I wanna be the Guy Gamzee Vriska.

[Weather Report]

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Naristar: Nah, you're not too deep in geekdom. There are stages. You're just blossoming!
greenMachine: OKAY WE CAN BE GAMZEE now just wait seventy pages and we'll be ready! (We'll be him soon in the course of events.)
Everyone with the good point: Sure, we can have more Troll conversations. In fact, we already know who'll point out Equius' nonEquiusness. You all gave us a very... uncomfortable idea!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

> Aradia: Wake





AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA.

> Aradia: Woah, are you okay dude?



> Aradia: Examine shirt.





This is just... wow, you don't even remember wearing this thing. Dark red's just not your color. This is a little upsetting. This takes precedence over the fact that Andrew put you in this thing at some point while you were sleeping. It's just something you get used to after a while.

> Aradia: Introduce yourself.



You are ARADIA HUSSIE. You guess your interests include PLAYING VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES and WATCHING THE SPORTS, though you NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT. And of course you like them mainly because you ALWAYS IMAGINE THEM IN TERMS OF ANDREWS. In a way, it's a PRODUCTIVE and SAFE FORM OF RECHANNELING THAT RAGE, y'know?

Grungy garage bands? No, that's Sollux interest. In fact, you are in SOLLUX'S ROOM currently. Why? You're not quite sure why. Maybe sleeping in his bed made you feel just a little safer.

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Oh god oh god who's that on the phone oh god it must be him who could it be but him what's he gonna do should you pick it up should you pick it up GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

> Aradia: In a fierce act of cousinly rebellion...



You end up picking it up anyway.

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ARADIA: um hi?
ANDREW: Hello, Aradia. How are you doing without Sol?
ARADIA: will I be next t0 g0--
ANDREW: I got some more new ideas for Homestuck. It's about that time-traveling Aradia Megido... You know that character?
ARADIA: uiuiuiuiuiuaaaaaagh
ANDREW: I might decide to make her eil. You know, guiding everyone and twisting things her own way.
ANDREW: Is it good, or am I going too far?
ANDREW: Are you still there?
ANDREW: Aradia.
ANDREW: LITTLE MISS HUSSIE.
ARADIA: uiuiuuuuuuuuuugh

ARADIA [ARADIA] has thrown away the phone.

> Aradia: Pull yourself together! You can do it!





There. All better. Now you can face the day. What next?

> Aradia: Examine shirt.



There! A pink sweater. Contrary to popular belief, that sweater is not yours. It's Sollux's! He doesn't show it at school, but he has a strange taste in fashion. Really, sometimes you think he doesn't know the difference between a man's and a woman's clothiers.

Then again, have YOU ever been clothesshopping? Would YOU know the difference? Do you even UNDERSTAND how to change your own clothes? Because MAN Andrew is such a huge fucking jerkwad creepyman. You feel kind of sad now.

The sweater is really pretty though.

[OrangeAipom]

you're embedding gifs wrong

but they're nice gifs

> Wear the sweater. It's not like he's ever coming back, after all. He'll never know.

[Weather Report]

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you're embedding gifs wrong

but they're nice gifs

> Wear the sweater. It's not like he's ever coming back, after all. He'll never know.

But they look right from over here/on my handheld internet device! What are we doing wrong? Tell me or I'll THROW UP!

Is there a technique to GIF embedding and what is it, please?

Also, because today's update is pretty short, take this:

> Aradia: Wear the pink sweater.



This isn't going to work out. You can't just take your bro's clothes, even if he doesn't need them where he is now.



Besides, this shirt makes you look fat.

[Naristar]

Have some nice canned bread for breakfast!

[greenMachine]

We've already done the whole canned bread thing with Aradia, and I doubt Andrew got more canned bread just for today (or however long he plans on keeping her around). That said:

>Andrew: Did you buy more canned bread? Not a command, or anything. Just curious. I personally would make her last meal somewhat enjoyable...

[OrangeAipom]

You aren't fat, Aradia.

[Trish]

> Aradia: You aren't fat.



Yeah? Then why can't you get your FAT HEAD into this SHIRT SLEEVE?! You're such a fat person thing! You self-confidence level has fallen through the roof of the house below it!! (?)

> Aradia: Exit room.



You leave and enter the HALLWAY.

> Aradia: Stop having Andrew attack.



You can't. You aren't.

> Aradia: Peek inside your bedroom.



It sure is a sty! You should clean it sometime, when you're not SOBBING ABOUT YOUR BROTHER. For a moment you ogle the SPORTY POSTERS, admiring your craftsmanship. Each head has been scribbled out and masterfully replaced with ne of Andrew's. This is so that whenever you sleep, you feel yourself in the HEART OF THE ENEMY. Such a thing is necessary to HARDEN YOUR HEART. But last night you couldn't bear it. In a show of WEAKNESS you fled, leaving a path of tears to Sollux's room. It's alright. Missing one round of sleep conditioning could not have changed much.

There on the floor, you see scattered GAME BOXES AND CONTROLLERS. You DO NOT ACTUALLY HAVE A CORRESPONDING GAME CONSOLE, but sometimes you just like to sit cross-legged on the floor, pick up a controller, and stare through the game box. Therefore, you imagine yourself playing a game of your own creation, and find the $60.00 pricetag to be ENTIRELY WORTH IT.

Oh, and that scrawling on the wall? You must have written that a little earlier in the MSPA TIMELINE. It says "Huss" ad infinitium. The chalk is still sitting right where you dropped it. You can also see, if you look closely, you can note some of the hardened FROTH you dribbled out that day.

thats enough mem0ries f0r n0w

> Aradia: Note the mysterious glow in the hallway.



Oh hey an update. Sollux's computer automatically notifies you when they happen.

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Well would you look at that! Nepeta's in the game too! Who would've known? Judging from her cool olive eyes, she's gotta be your old friend. You sure hope nothing happens to her!

I mean why would anything happen to her? She's the cute one! They ALWAYS survive, unlike brothers with good glasses! You know for sure you need to slow that breathing of yours down and do something worthwhile!

Oh oh oh! Breakfast! Can't start the day without that! Better get some! Too bad Nepeta can't have any of it because well not because she's going to be dead but because she's not at your ugly house! Hoooooooooooo.

Gosh darn it you're going to miss her/scream real loud when you see her "DEAD." page.

Well, it's about time for breakfast, everyone! GOSH are you feeling hungry! What kind of stuff do you want to eat?

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Yes, canned bread will also be factored in to the equation. We can only speculate what kinds of crazy foods Aradia has in the kitchen! Go wild.

[greenMachine]

Some ideas for in the kitchen:
Bottled cheese
Sliced stew (it would be in frozen, thick slices)
Shredded waffles (like how some people tear up their waffles before putting syrup on them, only they come like that?)
Breaded eggs
Boiled ketchup (ew...sort of like a sweeter tomato paste, I guess)
Shredded spaghetti
Rotisserie cod
Aerosol milk (sort of like that weird Kraft "Easy Cheese" I've seen in the states, only milk comes out instead!)
Creamed beef
Chocolate-covered ham

I think I should stop now...I'm feeling ill...

[siguard]

>calm down kid, Solux should be fine. Andrew draws the line at killing when it comes to family. and he has Nepeta there to help him out. enjoy a bowl of waffles.

[OrangeAipom]

Sleeves are for arms, not heads.

Dried Prunes
Cup Noodles
I can't think of anything greenMachine has all of the good ideas.

[Mibbs]

$150 worth of food from olive garden

[OrangeAipom]

$150 worth of food from olive garden

drunk aradia?

[Naristar]

Bulls testical stew!
Pickled cows eyes,
Fried taranchula
beef blood
1000 year old eggs
Candied Goat flakes
(yeah I was watching bizzar foods)

[Weather Report]

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greenMachine gets +5 Equiquarters for his great work. Everyone else and Renard earn one measly Aradiapenny. Think hard about your actions tonight.

On the flip side, we worked for four hours on all this tonight. So you all better look at our crap for four whole hours. Don't you DARE click away!!

> Aradia: To the kitchen!



This is your kitchen. We are disgusted, because it looks like you haven’t cleaned this place up in, like, ever.

> Aradia: Reflect.





You think you remember what happened in here last night: a big food binge. Just got in here, ate a shitload of food, and passed yourself out into Sollux’s bed. Strange though, usually Andrew cleans up afterward, like your personal creepy janitor.

> Aradia: Spot VOMIT-ENCRUSTED SHIRT.





Oh. That must’ve happened sometime in between—



No. This raises a bunch of questions. Did you just take off your shirt and vomit all over it?



Did you AND Andrew just walk over and throw up on it?



Did Andrew puke on YOU while you were IN the shirt?!?!?!? Wait. What. Why. Did you just imagine that. You’re not wearing that shirt again.



Well played, Big Huss.

> Aradia: Create your favorite breakfast: canned bread.



What are you, silly? Canned bread’s the devil’s food. You won’t be eating that, because...

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Well, what ARE you gonna eat?



It’s time to eat some of your favorite food...





FRIIIIIIIED RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Shut Up and Jam!



Come on and SLAM! And everybody JAM!



Oh, but first you need to PREPARE THE RICE. How did the secret recipe go again?

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[S] > Aradia: Show us how to make rice. Take us there.

You solemnly begin the POOFY ARADIA FUNTIME COOKING HOUR to some jams from your brother's favorite multiverse of media. LEEEEEEEEEEET'S AGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!





























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Oh look! Someone’s at the door. Maybe you should go ahead and name your new friend, as children like you are prone to do.

[S] Enter name.

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Oh god it's probably him. What a horrible day to have a curse.

> Vriska: Kick down door. Also be Vriska.



HAI-YAH! MOR-NING RES-CUE~~



My gawd, Aradia’s morning panic attack’s come early today! Better do something before she hurts herself!

> Vriska: Slap the shit outta her for her own good!



Time to hurt herself for her!

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ARADIA: ahhhh are you andrew
ARADIA: why do you do this andrew
VRISKA: Wake up kid!
ARADIA: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
VRISKA: Not Aaaaaaaaaaaaandrew, Vriiii—
ARADIA: no stop hitting my face aaaaagh

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VRISKA: Oh.
VRISKA: Sorry.

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ARADIA: no thats okay
ARADIA: i needed that i guess
VRISKA: Aw, c’mere.

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VRISKA: Your brother is gone, but don’t worry about it!
VRISKA: Over the night I came up with a secret plan.
ARADIA: why did he have to go?!?!?!? waaaaaaaaa
VRISKA: I miss him too, lil’ miss Hussie. I really do.
VRISKA: To think, just yesterday he screamed at me until I stopped hitting you. That dude, trapped in the internet...
VRISKA: But I had to do it! Or else you might’ve hit a sharp corner and spilled your guts! Literally.
ARADIA: then again we never ask you to do this
VRISKA: Do we have anything better to do in the morning?
ARADIA: fried rice
VRISKA: No, trick question!

> Vriska and Aradia: Team up.

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VRISKA: We all knew the answer ws sk8boarding!
VRISKA: It’s ALWAYS sk8boarding!
ARADIA: this isnt what i was thinking of in terms of teaming up
ARADIA: youre even kind of a little horrible!
VRISKA: Shut up and let’s ride /8)
VRISKA: And by shut up I mean hang on for ONE OF THE RIDES OF YOUR LIFE \8)
VRISKA: \8) /8) \8) /8)