EQUIQUEST: 2010: CON YA DIGGIT? (were still here, we apologize)

[OrangeAipom]

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Step EIGHT
Grind candied goat flakes and ???? lovingly

[Weather Report]

Add lovingly. Sorry it got all smudgy-crappy, but when I'd noticed it MS Paint couldn't go back four actions...

[OrangeAipom]

maybe this is better?

[Weather Report]

Sure! I'll plug it in, thanks!

[Naristar]

Aradia comment on the fact that you didn't get to finish breakfast....

[Weather Report]

Aradia comment on the fact that you didn't get to finish breakfast....

Granted!

WHEEE

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ARADIA: wheee

WHEEEEE

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ARADIA: wheeeee

WHEEEEEE--AWWWW

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ARADIA: wheeeee...
ARADIA: ...
VRISKA: Never give up! We'll make it!
ARADIA: lets take a break
VRISKA: W8, I almost got it!
VRISKA: Screw it augh.

> Vriska and Aradia: Chill just a second.





You stop and chill. Your sweet ride, however, does not.

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VRISKA: AWWWWWWWWW!
ARADIA: thats terrible im sorry
VRISKA: It's cool. Wanna get a drink?
ARADIA: but i never had breakfast
VRISKA: I'm paying.
ARADIA: i like the m0untain dew
VRISKA: Nice choice |8)
ARADIA: also you said you had a secret plan??
VRISKA: Oh yeah, that.
VRISKA: I'll get into that l8r, dude.
ARADIA: im a dudette, bra, chill
VRISKA: Aw dang you're so cool. I taught you well!
ARADIA: yay sicknasty twisterbadical! sk8 lingos are funny 'u'
ARADIA: i still don't feel better though!

Also, we're going to move to Nep soon. After her, who would YOU like to be??????

[Gira]

John and/or Tavros.

[Naristar]

thought we were gonna be gamzee

[Weather Report]

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thought we were gonna be gamzee

No we will never be Gamzee!!!!!!!

He is a ruse! It was all a ruse!!!!!!!!!

Get outta here right now!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just kidding! We'll be him soon enough, don't worry. We just have to keep it flowing like a narrative or something similar but different. Hold onto your Gamzeesnacks, because you'll be just throwing them into your mouth soon enough!

========>



> Nepeta: Quest





You are Nepeta Leijon. Although you find this current turn of events to be SUDDEN and SHOCKING, and even though you are preoccupied at the moment, you guess you can give us a good self-description.

Admittedly you are a bit of a THRILLSEEKER - whether it be he five-second crunch at the end of a Street Fighter match of a high-speed chase through a BURNING forest. You love ARCADE FIGHTING GAMES, obviously, even though your strategy is BUTTON MASHING. However, theree is a precise and powerful rhytm to your buttom mashing which no others could hope to achieve. For a short time you were involved n the BASKETBALL CLUB with Feferi, but of course that was before Chuck E' Cheese's added the machines you love so much and those Korean kids started hanging around them every so often. Someday you will learn whose mashing is truly better.

You have quested yourself right into a forest slowly being engulfed in flames. You also don't really know what you're trying to do. Your friend is bleeding his way toward perma-death. His cousin pulled you between worlds. And you have a really crappy sense of fashion in this universe! Couldn't you have at LEAST made yourself blonde in your spare time? Alas you digress, because it is no use arguing to yourself if you are not the you you are trying to argue at.

Do you even know which way you're going?

> Nepeta: Take an Alternian stroll.



Aw dam (as in the Hoover) it! Just what you need. MORE obstacles. You had better take your time and think this through.

========>



Does this even matter when you don't know where you're going?

Oh, if only your T. Hawk was here! Then he could throw you high over the forest, where you would run on some indigenous birds, roll into Sollux's apartment (likely to be on the top floor or something if he's got a ROOFbeast), give'm a quick peck, and skydive outta there back to your honey, landing by kicking a bear in the face! MMM! SO actiony.

All this exciting action is somehow reminding your of the good old days...

> Nepeta: Drink from ye flask and remember the good old days.





You remember the last time you talked to Equius. It was second grade. A balmy arts-and-crafts kind of day. You were making a bird house together for an assignment out of a milk carton.

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EQUIUS: No no no what are you doing
NEPETA: i just put in an electrical plug! :3
NEPETA: is that so wrong?
EQUIUS: Birds don't need electricity
EQUIUS: It would kill them
EQUIUS: That's how fried chicken is made you know
NEPETA: then how would they play VIDEO GAMES, equius??
EQUIUS: With their nonexistant thumbs
EQUIUS: Which is to say they can't
EQUIUS: They can't play video games Nepeta
EQUIUS: They would stay up so late playing them that they would starve because a bird woke up earlier and ate its worm
EQUIUS: Bird eat worm world out there y'know
NEPETA: thats so dumb and sad!
NEPETA: i refuse to believe that 3:<!!
NEPETA: animals can do more than you think mr. smartysmartsmart! some chimps can take a stick and make a fire.
EQUIUS: Not really otherwise they'd kill us
NEPETA: yes, and yes they can!
EQUIUS: Chimp fire is a lie
ERIDAN: aand that's how planet of the aapes happened
ERIDAN:
EQUIUS: Eridan don't talk to someone so DUMB[/STRONG] it's bad for you
NEPETA: then in that case dont talk to someone so STUPID!!
ERIDAN: u-u-aa-a-uu-u-aa-a-uh who do i talk to now??
JOHN: teacher! she said the s word!
NEPETA: well equius said the D word!!!

Then you both got out-of-school-suspension for vulgar language and you know what, this WASN'T a good old day. Why would you even try to remember it? You guess it was to re-verify how much you hate Equius for dragging you all into this crappile in the first place. You sure don't like THAT guy!

Anyhoo which way do you go??

[Naristar]

Did she just kill her lusus?

time to jet Sollux is dying

[Weather Report]

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Did she just kill her lusus?

Nah, just the lovable tannish-blooded Oshawott lusus, and we'll explain why some guys like these are going crazy further down this page. But, then again I'm just assuming that Lusii have the same blood as their trollkids. Somebody make me a sarcastic "CANON" picture I can use in these circumstances.

> Nepeta: Time to jet! Sollux is DYING.



Hmm... when you come to a fork in the road, the most logical decision is to go...



Left!





Hmm.....



Left!













Four lefts, stupid?? What were you THINKING?! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

Meanwhile...



Far off, but not too far, a CHOLERBEAR, stricken with grief, has just killed and eaten its troll child, who died in a tragic meteoric accident. The accident in question has driven this poor, poor lusus, like so many others tonight for all intents and purposes, crazy. All it feels now is a need to fill the void in its heart with more nutritious CHILDMEAT (not innuendo).

She spies a Nepeta and waits to strike. But first, she needs to find the right moment to do so. We'll come back to this guy later.

[Mibbs]

go left right right left

[Destruction Dragon 360]

go left right right left

and Right left left right right right left left right left right left right left left right right up down b a start!

[Gira]

> Up up down down left right left right B A.

Duh.

[Thedude3445]

I saw that this was 9 pages and thought "hey maybe I can read this really while I'm bored for an hour".... and then 4 hours later I finally finished.... the amount of pages you put into each update is very deceiving :0 This is an amazing fan adventure, by the way; at the level of my other current favorite adventures Be the Lowblood Creeper and Trol Seasson. Keep it up!

>left left right

[John E]

uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the only optimistic thing i can is that is better than COSBYQUEST (ripping off Homestuck since 2012), that i am working on currently, basicly Bill Cosby, Mr. Rodgers, Pee Wee Herman and Dr. Phil have to save the world. Its stupid, ill post it when i am done.

[Naristar]

go straight through ths sign and casualy kill the lusus in passing

[Kaynato]

right left right left right left

forwards

OBVIOUSLY

[OrangeAipom]

fly up

[Weather Report]

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I saw that this was 9 pages and thought "hey maybe I can read this really while I'm bored for an hour".... and then 4 hours later I finally finished.... the amount of pages you put into each update is very deceiving :0 This is an amazing fan adventure, by the way; at the level of my other current favorite adventures Be the Lowblood Creeper and Trol Seasson. Keep it up! :)

>left left right

Why thanks! I'm really happy everyone's enjoying the stupidly long length of it! We waste too many hours on this project...

And everyone else stop posting forever. I don't want this to be like Be The Lowblood Seadweller where you get two pictures and a paragraph of story every seven pages I mean weeks or whichever

> Nepeta: Dejectedly enter hive.



Yeah, wow, what a cruel joke this place is! I mean, how did this even happen? You guess it could just be a sign that you need to gather supplies.

> Nepeta: Spot cat.



That guy's sitting right where you left him. Such a loyal guy. But seriously, why's everything got to be about cats with Nep?

> Nepeta: Place hat on cat.







Yes. Because HE DESERVES--

Oh. Wait. This presents a problem. How's the guy gonna see!? The hat is simply too large. Well, he seems content for now. Let's cross that bridge when we get to it.

> Nepeta: Retrieve tablet.



Oh right! You should probably take it along, but you can't imagine it fitting in your coat pocket.

Who's that on Trollian? Whatever. Doesn't look like Troll Vriska at any rate. You'll just ignore her for now.

> Nepeta: Give the cat your computer; a name.



Ghengis Cat will take great care of your posessions while you're gone.

> Kid! Kanaya: Feel upset.



Nobody likes being ignored. These are the kinds of things that resonate across universes.

You weep. But only because it makes the audience laugh.

> Nepeta: Flash-step and chat simultaneously.





Your phone has been vibrating this whole time! What kind of kid doesn't notice that sort of thing? No more word from Kanaya, but you've got messages from both John and Rose. But you need to get a move-on, too.

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prettycoolSepulcherdude [PS] began chatting with superstreetFighter [SF].

PS: hey nepeta?
PS: i've been trying to keep up with all the updates, all of us are trying to help and investigate.
PS: first and foremost, are you okay? oh, and what kind of cool sylladex do you use?
PS: nah, sorry, just message us if you need to say anything at all! there is something i really want to tell you and equius, too!
PS: so, when you can spare a moment.
PS: i'll just leave my phone on all night...
PS: okay, we just had breakfast. jade didn't want me on the phone before then, so i wanted to make sure you weren't worrying or anything.
PS: we're going off to school now! i'll tell all the kids i'm trying to message you!
PS: okay, so there was a problem on the way to school. my dad ran over a dog! thankfully, it was not davidson...
PS: yeah, false alarm! it was just a possum! it was really big and pregnant i think?
PS: okay, i just need to stop thinking about this right now... i feel really terrible about all this... so how are things with you?
PS: we made it to school! i saw a pregnant lady at the sidewalk with a baby in a stroller. it really made me think about life! it's fragile, right? this whole adventure of yours, sollux's and equius's has really brought us all together.
PS: i feel really great now. i had a big talk with gamzee, and we just decided that sollux is going to be okay! otherwise, why would he say he's gonna die twice if he dies only one time? that would be really bad writing on andrew's part. what are your thoughts on this? do you think he's gonna come back to life?
SF: :33 < nepeta leijon repurrting, what is it?
SF: :33 < ...
PS: i'm sorry you had to read all that...
SF: :33 < no, i skipped your purrt
PS: whew!
SF: :33 < but seriously, i get MORE CAT GIMMICKS?!
SF: :33 < why must i type like this??
SF: :33 < ... this is actually meowking me f33l a little sad
PS: discomfurted?
SF: X33 < 33333333AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHH!!
PS: sorry! couldn't help it! keep going!
SF: :33 < out of all the characters i could fureakin' have, i got the freakin' lovable furry
SF: :33 < is it because we're both leos?
SF: :33 < oh my goggin gog, its like a gypsy curse
SF: :33 < WELL MEOW MEOW, FELINE-DREW MOUSIE.
PS: oh wow.
SF: 833 < MEOWMEOWMEWOMEWEOWMWEOEMWCATSCATSCATSCATSCATSCATSC ATSCATS
SF: 833 < and CATNIP
PS: anyways... don't worry, every troll has their own horrible text gimmick.
PS: in fact, you're lucky in a way, equius has to type a whole bow and arrow!
SF: :33 < oh im sorry that was a purretty ofurblown tigerade
SF: :33 < ok looking back at that one it was entirely deserved
SF: >:DD < but haha, equius shares my pain!
PS: sure why not?
SF: :33 < so are you going to give me some advice so i can start sauntering off on the right path?
SF: :33 < sauntering what
PS: sorry, i am a little bit clueless right now.
PS: actually, this is about equius AND you, so listen good.
PS: well, read.
PS: i think you're going to encounter equius in the future, so...
PS: be nice!
SF: XDD < be MICE?
SF: :33 < prawn compurretely uninteowntional
SF: :33 < what fish jokes now?
PS: i'm serious, nepeta. that was first grade!
SF: :33 < SECOND. and you KNOW i hold grudges.
PS: you cannot cooperate if you're always arguing about the elctrical sockets in the birdhouses!
PS: it is just really illogical.
SF: :33 < illoungeical? but thats not even how fried chicken is made!
SF: 33:< < if you ask me apawlogies are in order!
PS: this has been going on for way too long, nepeta! news flash, everyone's stupid, including me, and we were even stupider in second grade!
SF: :|| < ...
PS: did you know? the original troll nepeta is the original equius' moirail.
SF: :|| < what the fluff is a meowrail
PS: it means they were troll-friends!
PS: maybe the originals could have the same relationship!
SF: 33X< < OH FER FUCK'S SAKE!
SF: 33:C < THIS IS ALL CAT-DREWS SICK CAT-JOKE AND I'M GONNA GET CAT-SICK OF IT REAL CAT-SOON.
SF: 33:C < and if you think furryiendship is that furryeakin simple, that some guy can just join two paws together and bring them into holy catrimony...
SF: 33XC < YOURE PRETTY DAMN FUR OFF THE MARK.
PS: i'll stop talking now.
SF: :|| < ... well, ill tell you what
SF: :33 < if i meet him, well see what happens
SF: :33 < you are right john, it is purretty stupid... but damnit he nefur apawlogized, and that ticks my whiskers
SF: :|| < *note to self: nefur say any of that of that who-hash again*
PS: ha, well, i guess i understand when you put it that way.
PS: jade once caught me on film for one of her amateur movie projects and tricked me into doing some lines, and ya know what? I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HER.
PS: but the movie was good and i liked it.
SF: X33 < haha!
SF: :33 < hey, im changing the the cat-faces ceowntenance and efurrything, its like taming an irrefursible addiction!
SF: >:33 < via the only medication i need: sheer willpower.
PS: that's great!
PS: oh, still running? remember sollux!
SF: |33 < yes john, i have been carefurl this whole time
SF: :33 < i think i need to cat with rose now!
SF: |:33 < chat, i mean chat
SF: >X33 < frig! thats cat in french, isnt it
PS: i'll leave you to that!
SF: :33 < thanks! i feel a nip better thanks to you
PS: :)

prettycoolSepulcherdude [PS] has stopped chatting with superstreetFighter [SF]

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There will be Konami codes tomorrow

[Naristar]

The headband is the tail isn't it......nice

[OrangeAipom]

Nobody can see you, right? Take off your pants.

[Thedude3445]

Nobody can see you, right? Take off your pants.

hmmmmm.... should you do this. I'm not sure.

[Weather Report]

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Nobody can see you, right? Take off your pants.

No. This is the worst thing. They have this sort of thing already out there. It's called PORN. And this suggestion makes you a HORRIBLE 13 YEAR OLD LIKER. I am NEVER putting this suggestion in-comic EVUR. GET OUTTA HEAR

>Nepeta: Answer Rose.



Almost forgot, Rose has been trying to talk to you for a while, too. She can be such a smug stick in the mud sometimes, and can get on your nerves, but hopefully this shouldn't be so bad.

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proirotInvestigator [PI] began
chatting with superstreetFighter [SF].
PI: Hello, Nepeta.
PI: Doubtless you have already received a message from John as well.
PI: Please do not lose your phone. It is vital.
PI: And make sure to...
PI: Wait, I just thought of something.
PI: What if the phone battery runs out?
PI: Preserve battery, Nep. I'll get to work on guessing what might be alchemized together to produce a corresponding phone charger and working power plant.

> Nepeta: Left

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SF: :33 < are you serious about making a powurr plant?
PI: How else can we contact you?
SF: X33 < !!
PI: Oh heck. I'm just glad you responded. Have you gotten hurt at all?
SF: :33 < no, actually my troll is a fiurce warrior cat with cave walls cofured in blood! shes a strong huntress-furry
PI: I bet that ticks your whiskers.
SF: 833 < ticks my whiskers?
SF: >833 < YOU HAVE NO FLUFFIN IDEA.
SF: :II < but i guess i can deal

> Nepeta: Right.

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SF: :33 < so whats up? any plans to apounce?
PI: I'm still trying to formulate my plan. I have no idea what anyone else is doing.
PI: If anything.
SF: :33 < the purrice?
SF: :II < sorry i meant the coppurrs
PI: Too preoccupied with the Midnight Moving Crew to be of any help.
PI: Seriously, you dpon't want to know what happened to Vantas.
SF: :33 < what catpunned?
SF: :II < oh, almost furgot, it is something far more terrible than being wherefur i am now, yeah, thanks fur that
SF: |:II < fur fur fur fur fur
SF: 33:< < but damnit john! he told me efuryone was trying to find a way out!
PI: Well, I never said everyone was preoccupied. They might be forming plans on their own, in fact, like me.

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PI: Has anyone besides me or John tried to contact you?
SF: :33 < if anyone called me, i missed it. no other texts or anything
SF: 33|< < oh wow that is fuckin sad.
SF: 338< < give them a beating fur me will ya
PI: I will.
PI: A verbal beating.
SF: 338< < NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
SF: 338< < I WILL SAUNTER STRAIGHT OUTTA THIS GAME, VERY HUNGRY FOR MY NEXT KILL.
PI: Watch it, huntress!
SF: :33 < no, im kitting! ...sort of
SF: :33 < efuryones stupid, let bygones be bygones!
SF: :II < well, they will be bygones soon enough
PI: That's an unusual answer coming from you.
PI: I'm kind of impressed!
SF: ;33 < *WINK WINK*

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PI: I read the update where John talked to you.
SF: |:II < oh you smug little
SF: |833 < MY WHISKERS HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFURRY TICKED
SF: |833 < FRIKKIN MEOW MEOW.
SF: |833 < WHAT a killjoy
PI: Lol!
PI: So I've been kind of skipping around the updates. Did you get past the dreaded fork in the road?
SF: :33 < yeah, it was tough but i did it while i was meowing with you!
SF: :33 < i briefly consipurred going straight furward through the trees, but no, that sounds too obvious!
SF: |:33 < so eventually i remembered the KONAMI CODE!
SF: :33 < it took a while fur me to recall it since i dont keep good track of ACTUAL codes very often!
PI: If you did, you would have become an actual Street Fighter pro a long time ago.
PI: Beat those Korean kids right up.
SF: X33 < SHUT UP IM TELLING MY STORY
PI: Just stating the facts.
SF: :33 < so i went left right left right up down up down a b start
PI: That doesn't even work.
PI: I mean, that's not even the real Konami Code.
PI: So you DID go forward once, but then you went BACKWARD for no apparent reason?
SF: 33: < heyyyy.
SF: 33:< < im the one who has to deal with these voices in my head and this dumb alternate unifurse!
PI: Lol! I don't know what I would have done in your shoes.
SF: :33 < yeah, itll be a long road maybe

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SF: :33 < so i guess we will cat it up anofur time?
PI: You know it.
PI: I'll have to get back to business. You know, searching through newspaper clippings.
SF: :33 < gaah, newspaper clippings?!
SF: X33 < efurything is onlion, thats stupid!
PI: Everything's an onion?
SF: 33:< < im a cat, deal with it
PI: They wouldn't put decades-old archives on the Internet so easily.
SF: X33 < maybe but STILL why would you even wanna READ those? theyre so musty and scat!
SF: |33 < oh god that was the worst pun yet
PI: They're interesting and informative!
PI: But I'll give you these parting words:
PI: A child-eating Alternian bear is near. Prepare for strife.

proirotInvestigator has stopped chatting with superstreetFighter.

========>





Bear? Wait no, first what are you doing? Time to GET YOUR BUTTS IN GEAR!

> Nepeta: Ride the cat.





Stupid forest beasts! Outta your way! You are a loose cannon and you are about to blow or something! NOTHING will keep you from your mission!!!

> Nepeta: Nobody can see you, right? Take off your pants.



Anybody who thinks this is the time for that kind of freedom...

... is disgusting. They should die. Like right now. It's not you, right?

> Mysterious Figure No. 1: Reflect.



You receive ALL THE SOBS.

[OrangeAipom]

Well, if you strip, Hussie won't be able to publish these events. It'd give you more privacy.