EQUIQUEST: 2010: CON YA DIGGIT? (Ha ha, don't ever be a Tavros, be a tactful human)

[Destruction Dragon 360]

Nepeta: Continue to not give fucks.

[OrangeAipom]

> Some Real World Reader: Tell Nepeta to stop worrying about rescuing Sollux because his dreamselves are already dead.

[siguard]

Nepeta> remember that Sollux is sorta dieing/died right now and that you need to hurry to his house.

Equius> be forever unnerved by Karkat, since his rage can warp reality and bleed through chat clients.

[Weather Report]

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Equius> be forever unnerved by Karkat, since his rage can warp reality and bleed through chat clients.

Yeah, I think we can get to that one later today.

> Nepeta: Continue to not give fucks.



Aw, shit! This thing secretes acids?!

Dodge it, Nepeta! You too Pounce



No worries! You STILL don't give any fucks.



There won't be any fucking in this story.



Because this is a story for good little kids.



Crap, this guy's built sturdy! Your claws can't break the skin!



WILL YOU SHUT UP I AM FIGHTING A BEAR!!

> MSPFA Reader: Tell Nepeta to stop worrying about rescuing Sollux because his dreamselves are already dead.



You do, but she doesn't pay you any mind. And she does have a point to that...



Currently, Dream Sollux No. 1 (Prospit edition) has vomited himself down to 85% blood. Two Solluxes can't be active at the same time, of course, so you'll have to wait for the first one to bleed out before the second one can become active. Additionally, his countdown until entry time has dropped down to 19:37. Dang! Those conversations earlier that took ten minutes to read? They sure went FAST!

Remember though, everybody: if Nepeta fails to reach Sollux before he enters the Medium, there's no chance of being able to revive him before he dies. Do you know how hard it is to navigate a land of freaking brains and freaking fires?

[Destruction Dragon 360]

Nepeta: AIM FOR THE EYES! MAKE IT ATTACK ITSELF! JUMP INSIDE AND ATTACK FROM WITHIN! ANYTHING AT ALL REALLY!!!

[Weather Report]

Nepeta: AIM FOR THE EYES! MAKE IT ATTACK ITSELF! JUMP INSIDE AND ATTACK FROM WITHIN! ANYTHING AT ALL REALLY!!!

NO! THE ANSWER IS GET CHOKED!!

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> Pounce: To the rescue.





Way to go, Ghengis Cat!

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Crap, no bleeding to death for HER.

> Equius: Be forever unnerved by Karkat, as his rage permeates through reality and chat clients.



You will never bother troll Karkat again. He is simply too fearsome.

> Nepeta: Remember what you came here here to do.





Yeah. You're here for Sollux, and yet you're fighting a bear. Weird, huh? You need to figure out how to kill this guy real fast, preferrably in one blow.

> Nepeta: Watch out for Karkat rage waves.



Uh-oh. The waves of Karkat's imaginary rage have billowed right into you. You feel a flashback about Karkat coming on. But that's alright, right? Flashbacks only take, like, a second! They're just memories!

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We have the main ideas of this seemingly-random flashback spot all set up, but if there's anything interesting you guys want to see included or forced in, you are free to suggest them. More stuff... tomorrow.

[Thedude3445]

force in some Karkat Terezi romance talk, with Equius comparing their to their IRL relationship as enemies.

[Weather Report]

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Thedude: I assure you that there will be conversations. Your opinion has been highly regarded.

[NL]



This memory takes me back around, fifth grade, I think?

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I'm at the Chuck E' Cheese! What?
I'm at the KFC! What?
I'm at the combination KFC 2 Chuck E' Cheese! Heh heh! It's still funny!

[NL]



That day I came in a little late, and Karkat had already gotten into some trouble playing against the Korean kids. I've never had an issue with them myself, but every time I tell Karkat, 'just mash the buttons', he never listens!

Also I told him to dress up like that. He makes a MEAN M. Bison.

[NL]



Because of my miraculous surprise (but entirely scheduled of my own accord) entry, however, Karkat was able to make a come-from-behind victory using his Zangief "If a Tree Falls On You In the Forest Zangief Makes A Sound You Idiot" combo! It was really something. I don't even think the game sprite actually moves that way. You had to really be there, you know? To see that bond of ours? It's not romantical, it's more like... we're each others' older sibling?

But the Korean kids weren't amused.

[NL]



They got amused again when they thrashed Karkat in the other two rounds. Not even the real Zangief could have saved him. Seriously. It was terrible to behold.

[NL]



So we swapped places. I played. He watched.

[NL]







I dominated.

[NL]









And they got mad.

[OrangeAipom]

At first I thought I stumbled into Sweet Jade and Hella John.

But then I read it and enjoyed it.

[Weather Report]

At first I thought I stumbled into Sweet Jade and Hella John.

Not QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIITE...

But yeah, just about.

Meanwhile, while we're on this, everybody go give those guys some free advertising! Everybody go read some Sweet Jade and Hella John today!

[Weather Report]

[NL]



But I didn't give a fuck! Giving fucks was Karkat's job!

[NL]







I already knew how to fight. My dad taught me how.

[NL]



You see, dear readers, my dad, Sciple Leijon, has a rugged past. He was sent to jail for disobeying traffic laws once. (Did you know you aren't allowed to cross the double-yellow lines in the center of the road?) Anyway, when I was a baby, he broke out of prison and took me down to Texas with me in a hunt for freedom. He was a real McGyver; the escape plan involved two ropes, a bent toothbrush, a handful of gunpowder, and a half-melted ice cube. Also it involved disguising as a woman. Looking back, I'm not sure if that part of the plan was necessary.

[NL]



He taught me how to fight. He also told me that he'd learned something important in his prison days: when your back's against the wall, don't back down. Make the situation yours.

[NL]



Big Daddy Sciple and the Blonde Bombshell (TM) still ran into minor roadblocks along the road to freedom.

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ARADIA: Nepeta, you have a pretty mom
NEPETA: that's my dad.
ARADIA: Oh i'm so sorry
SOLLUX: Nep ha2 anyone ever told you your mo2er i2 beautiful
NEPETA: no that's my dad.
SOLLUX: Oh ii'm 2o 2orry
ROSE: Nepeta, your mother looks simply ravishing today-
NEPETA: naw man that's not my mom that's my dad.
ROSE: Oh, I'm so sorry.
ERIDAN: Nnep your mom looks totally sslammin
NEPETA: no, that's not my mom, that's my dad.
ERIDAN: Oh, wwell, yyour dad llooks real good then

[NL]



Back in the main flashback, I beat up the boss of the kids just as Karkat was coming back in, policemanwoman in tow. Everyone's crap got totally straightened out, thanks to us...working...as a team.

I'm the tough kid. He's the careful one. All we know how to do... is blitz on through.

[NL]



Oh yeah, and Terezi was there too!

We stared at her for a few moments.

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TEREZI: ...Wh4t?
TEREZI: 1'm just Bl4nk4!
KARKAT: OHHH MY GOSH, YOU DID NOT JUST COME IN HERE AND MAKE MY DAY SO MUCH WORSE.
TEREZI: Oh my gosh, K4rk4t, no! 1'm pr3tty sur3 you m34n so much B3TT3R!
KARKAT: Oh my gosh you're so right.
KARKAT: Get over here so we can play Skeeball together.
TEREZI: 4nd th3n M4K3 OUT 1n th3 b4ck of th3 G4S ST4T1ON?
TEREZI: Sounds tot4lly cool 4nd 4ppropr14t3 t'M3!
KARKAT: Great, now let's get the heck outta here so that we can get some Skeeballin' privacy.
KARKAT: But seriously, no sloppy makeouts, we're too young for that.
TEREZI: WH44444T? 1 C4N'T H34R YOU OV3R TH3 SOUND OF FUTUR3 M3 M4K1NG OUT W1TH FUTUR3 YOOOOOU!!

I almost forgot, that was when some sort of weird love-type thing was brewing between Terezi and Karkat.

[NL]

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EQUIUS: Heh heh
EQUIUS: That's...that's pretty funny
NEPETA: ...
EQUIUS: Because, because Andrew's been telling us all about the funny internet story he's going to put us all in
NEPETA: .....
EQUIUS: He told me those two were going to be in love or something
EQUIUS: Or maybe love-hate
EQUIUS: Now what the heck are you staring at me for Nepeta
NEPETA: what street fighter character are YOU supposed to be?
EQUIUS: Oh that is the last time I say anything in front of YOU Leijon
EQUIUS: I mean come on
EQUIUS: You ain't modest
NEPETA: 33:]
NEPETA: 338<

[OrangeAipom]

what does 33:] mean

[siguard]

what does 33:] mean

its nepeta for ):

[Weather Report]

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its nepeta for ):

You are incredibly right. It's the kind of ): that you get before you realize you're technically half-naked and nobody ever told you earlier in an effort to spare you your feelings. It's the kind of ): you get when you realize how cold you weren't. It's the kind of ): you get when you forgot to wear an undershirt.

My sister made that sprite.

> Nepeta: Take us on home.



Oh, those are the days bygone. Now... well, in all honesty, besides the whole what, different universe thing, it's not all that different in real life.

> Nepeta: Check the (freaky) clock (in the corner).



HOLY--!! That shit took ten minutes?! Guuurl, you better improve them time-management skills!





How nice. The animals waited for you. But...um.....ew. You forgot all about that computer part. Seems green troll's been trying to talk to you for quite some time now.

> Nepeta: Make some time for her! She derserves it.





Well, you can't keep her waiting or she may just explode, much like those trees behind you. You should think of a way to end this fight soon, preferrably within one blow.

[wolftamer9]

> Nepeta: Ram the bear. Be the fork.
edit: I have no idea whether this would actually work.

[siguard]

>rip out the throat and run, because fuck waiting for it to bleed out. answer green chick while running.

[Weather Report]

Okay you guys I'm just gonna put this out there already but I LOVE THOSE SUGGESTIONS. They go PERFECTLY with what I had in mind except BETTER. Spoilers: I'm gonna use those two things above this post. If you don't like spoilers then too bad get out of my sight, WE ARE MAKING THIS HAPPEN!!

*I'm actually excited to write up tomorrow's material!!*

[Nexev]

Nepeta: Have Pawnce ansewer the green troll, if you are supposed to be a lame cat thing why not let the lame cat do its stuff?

Oh btw, hi Weather, I remember you.

[Weather Report]

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Oh btw, hi Weather, I remember you.

I don't want to sound rude, but I do remember your name. Could you please elaborate a little?

Also, some picture in this post is referencing THE MOST HOT BLOODED CREATOR GOD. Trish wants you to read it, to which I responded 'So wut'. So go on ahead chilluns! Have fun.

> Nepeta: Ram the bear. Be the fork.



That can certainly be arranged.

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Hey Mrs. Bear...

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SSSTAB







FORK over all your HONEY!

No, no that line was terrible!

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Aw well. You can always try again.

> Nepeta: Try and cut another one-liner.





Hey Mrs. Bear...

> Nepeta: Out of the way!





I JUST STABBED YOU IN THE GODDAMN HEART AND DROPPED A BURNING FUCKING TREE ON YOU.

WHAT, THAT'S NOT A JOKE?

WHO CARES SHE'S DEAD HA HA!!

Time to get some big spoils!

[wolftamer9]

Okay, your interpretation of 'be the fork' was so much better than mine. All I meant was 'stab it with your horns.'

[Nexev]

You were in ycm, i was too, i tried to make a deck for your water gay cowboy thing.

Yes, no? Dessert substance?

Eh its either you or a hell of a coincidence.

[Weather Report]

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Okay, your interpretation of 'be the fork' was so much better than mine. All I meant was 'stab it with your horns.'

Take credit, though! I would've just had her go "HEY SPIT ACID OR SOMETHING" and the bear spits acid and gets hit by the tree. If you hadn't have suggested it, it wouldn't have been so great.

Damn. Bull horn overhead-toss would have been great.

You were in ycm, i was too, i tried to make a deck for your water gay cowboy thing.

Yes, no? Dessert substance?

Eh its either you or a hell of a coincidence.

Aw crap yo! This is a huge coincidence! It's been a while!

You won a combat!



> Nepeta: Check if it's really dead now, and collect spoils of war.



Yeah, you're just gonna touch it a little bit, aaaand...

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Congratulations! Your EVISCERATION MODUS has gifted you with the WINDPIPE of the CHOLERBEAR as your trophy! Eugh!

> Nepeta: Get token.



Through defeating this mighty Alternian menace all by yourself (let's face it, all Ghengis Cat did was cut its tongue and then it just fixed the thing right up), you have earned one TROLL TOKEN, unlocking the option to toggle hair colors in the menu selection.

It's beautiful.

And with this, you too can look like STYLISH KARKAT.

> Nepeta: Level up!



You have excelled to the rank of BEAR TODAY, STEAK TOMORROW, ignoring whether or not you can make steak from a bear. Your golden locks are back in action. You feel insanely proud.

> Nepeta: Uh-oh, that cat's got your computer again!





Aw darn it she's started talking with the green troll! Now you HAVE to respond in kind! You were sort of hoping to put her off until later.

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GA: Nepeta
AC: :33 < aaswoiw
GA: Nepeta This Is Kanaya
AC: :33 < auwfekjsdlel
GA: Nepeta Are You Alright You Seem To Be Having A Stroke Right Now
AC: :33 < uafeikakjefwskif
GA: Youre Typing Like Somebody Who Is Just Slapping The Keyboard Around
GA: Can You Put Together Coherent Words To Tell Me Whats Wrong
AC: :33 < sorry about that kanaya, that was just my cat
GA: Oh
GA: Well Then If You Arent Sick Or Dying Can You Tell Me What You're Doing Out Of Your Hive
AC :33 < um that would be a little hard to expurrain
GA: What The Hell Are You Doing Nepeta
GA: Seriously I Have Been Trying To Connect With You For Ten Minutes
AC: X33 < fine! sollux died and im running to his house to revive him!
GA: What Are You Even Talking About We Have To Get You Entered Into This Game So You Can Bring Vriska In
GA: You Are Bridging Our Two Teams
GA: Also I Would Be Upset If You Screwed Around For Too Long And She Had Died Or Something
AC: >:OO < this hiss more impurrtant than that!
AC: >XMM < argh why do i keep making these dumb jokes when i dont even like them?????
GA: Oh
GA: Okay Then
GA: Ill Just Sit Here And Wait
GA: No I Wont
GA: You Need To Go Home
GA: For The Sake Of Someone Else
AC: :MM < no end of story
GA: But This Is Really Stupid
AC: :CC < i know, sorry, look
AC: :33 < ill talk to you later when im done here
AC: :33 < bye

arsenicCatnip [AC] has ceased trolling grimAuxilatirx [GA].

You can't waste any time with pointless run-around arguments. You've got stuff to do.

[wolftamer9]

> Kanaya: Wait... What's a house?

> Nepeta: Do what you are going to do.

[Kaynato]

> Escape to other residence.

[Weather Report]

Kanaya: Wait... What's a house?



You don't know, but you suppose it's just some slang for a building or something.

More importantly, she DOES realize that Vriska's survival hinges off of her not dying or anything, right? Because this isn't a game. If Nepeta gets in trouble, she doesn't have any extra imaginary lives. Especially not in the middle of a deep, inhospitable, burning forest.

Okay, enough Kanaya for now because all she does is meddle and worry and cry on the inside. We don't want that. We want HARDCORE ACTION SEQUENCES.

Action sequences? Like what?



Like EXPLOSIONS!! Oh no wait that's SOLLUX'S HOUSE!!

Wait, that's terrible!