EQUIQUEST: 2010: CON YA DIGGIT? (COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!(say like kahn))

[Weather Report]

Waaaaait a minute...



Something has exploded IN FRONT of Sollux's house. His building's safe. What a relief.

> Nepeta: Check it out.



It's a... red spaceship? Maybe it was struck by a meteor and crashed. Seems really cool. Let's keep looking.

And that's it! Trish and I are going to take a little bit of time off to work on two animations (one each), and mine's going on up next. I've got about 60 pictures planned out, including gifs, and if I work out 20 a day (reasonable) I can get this up by Sunday night. So that's why I wanted to get this post done during school, and I'll probably post stupid stuff one or two of those proposed 3 days.

Also we got permission to use Atomik Meltdown from the Fans and Music album, so... yeah, that'll be there too. And then we will credit Hames and all will be beauteous.

[Weather Report]

In lieu of an update, I offer you all a spoiler:

SPOILERSHIPPING (Gamzee x Karkat)



I'm 2/3rds done with drawing a bunch of crap so expect it by the end of tomorrow.

[Weather Report]

FLESH PEDGE 3

87 pictures in 3 days.

Anyone who says that our story is lazy just because of our image quality is a fucking liar.

Super-special thanks to Hames, who allowed us to ue Atomik Meltdown! Sadly there are no vids of it on Youtube, so make do with a link:

ATOMIK MELTDOWN, THE THEME FOR THIS UPDATE.

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> Nepeta: Boss battle.















(FUUUUUCK)







(Stupid troll! What are you looking at? You laughing at me?)



(A freaking meteor came outta nowhere! WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE??????????)





(You think this is funny, do ya, wench?)



(In that case...)



(Why don't I...)



(SMASH YOUR FUCKING HEAD OPEN?!)



(WELL THEN...)



(HERE WE GO!!)















(Your turn.)



(I'LL SPLATTER YOUR GUTS!!)

(TOO MANY IMAGES NEXT POST...)

[Weather Report]

CONTINUATION...

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[siguard]

so why is nepata blonde now? is it the blood from the bear? also i kinda want to see Nepata vs. drone: high quality version now.

Nepata> Improv! Roll with it! and if you can, see if you can get the drone hit by a meteor

[wolftamer9]

> Tell her you only have a few minutes before Sollux dies.

[Nexev]

Fuck this, call Equius, see if his darkness arrows work via phone lines.

[Trish]

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so why is nepata blonde now? is it the blood from the bear? also i kinda want to see Nepata vs. drone: high quality version now.

She is blonde because she found the first of many TROLL TOKENS which are sure to be collected by our STRAPPING YOUNG ADVENTURERS over the course of their ADVENTURE through the worlds of SGRUB. Although it being blood from the bear would be kind of funny, in a sick sort of way.

Sorry folks, but we're gonna ride this suspense-wave of high action and tension until we can't keep goin' no more and all of our fans give up in disgust. However, we will hold onto your requests until we re-visit Nep. For a few days while I work on the next FLASH which will not even be a FLESH because it's a FLASH and will hopefully not go totally wrong somehow, we'll be posting excessively short updates to tide you over. Enjoy!?

> Nepeta: You may have no choice.



Oops! For some reason we have made a jarring transition over to Mr. Cal! But that's alright, guys. We like Mr. Cal.

You are now Mr. Cal. You look a little more frightening than usual.

What will you do?

[Kaynato]

Get rid of that makeup.

[Mibbs]

examine that window

[Nexev]

Seduce Snaffy

[cryptidWrangler]

>WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME?

[Trish]

> Mr. Cal: Get rid of that makeup.





It's all gone now.

> Mr. Cal: Examine that window.



The kids are always talking about how Andrew keeps sneaking up to the window and taking pictures of them. That couldn't be true, though. Andrew's a governor. He's always got a lot of work to do.

Nope, you don't see anyone outside of that window.

> Mr. Cal: Seduce Snaffy.



There is no Snaffy around to seduce! The command is invalid.

However, you could always try to seduce the MYSTERIOUS STRAPPING YOUNG FELLOW who is suddenly standing right next to you.

> Mr. Cal: Seduce Andrew.



Too late! The fellow is gone. You'll try again some other day.

> Mr. Cal: Remember the first time you seduced Snaffy.



That was waaay back in the day. Goodness! The first time you secuced that Snaffy Queenston was at the SENIOR PROM at DOC HOLIDAY HIGH SCHOOL (which is right down the street from Doc Holiday Middle School). Everybody thought you, Cal O'Manny, were just a luckless loser who could never get a girlfriend.

But they were all wrong.

Dead wrong.

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CAL: hello
SNAFFY: Alright, you wee lad, unlock us or I'll have your head!
CAL: WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME
SNAFFY: What sort of game are we talking?
CAL: oh nothing much
CAL: ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU KILL YOUR PROM DATE
SNAFFY: Crowbar!? Are you mad, lad!? I would never!
CAL: no
CAL: DONT BREAK THE GLASS

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SNAFFY: My stars and garters, lad! You're practically out in the open!
SNAFFY: Crowbar, let's wail on 'im!

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And they wailed on you. It was wonderful.

The next day, Snaffy dumped Crowbar and started meeting you after school, to wail on you. Then things kind of settled down, and you got married. Strange, but it seems to you like the more Snaffy hates someone's guts, the more she loves them. Isn't it funny how that works?

[Destruction Dragon 360]

Cal: Continue being creepy as all hell.

[Weather Report]

> Cal: Keep being creepy as hell.



You, creepy? Why PERISH that thought! You haven't been creepy since you were in high school! People don't usually realize that the Jigsaw Killer character was really made by one of your old schoolfriends and turned into a million-dollar idea. Okay, more of a school enemy but same difference, anyway.

You instead turn your attention toward your student Feferi Peixes. She's getting really fired up about her phone. Oh, wait, that's right...

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FEFERI: MR. CAAAAL! Hurry up! I'm gonna go to the N----EXT PAG----E!
CAL: oh dear, I spaced out for a second there
CAL: I'll be right over
FEFERI: That's okay. But now we N----E----ED to focus on ARL----ENSTUCK!
CAL: you mean they already ended act one?
FEFERI: Oh my god yes I'm clicking on it right now.

> Equiquest: Be Arlenstuck.



You have ascended to the title of PRO OF PAIN. There is no turning back for you now.

END OF ACT ONE.

> Arlenstuck: Be Equiquest again.



OH GOODNESS THIS IS SO EXCITING!!

> Feferi: Explain to us... Arlenstuck, only using second-person speech patterns.



Spoilered for critical spoilers, guys!

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Oh gosh, ARLENSTUCK is just the BIGGEST, MOST POPULAR MS PAINT ADVENTURES FAN ADVENTURE EVER MADE. Its quality is so high that there is no middle, or even low ground with it.

Bobby Hill of the eponymous KING OF THE HILL HILL FAMILY recieves a mysterious pack of disks in the mail, as do BILL DAUTERIVE, DALE GRIBBLE and BOOMHAUER. But things take a turn for the tragic when HANK HILL commandeers the family computer, before Bobby ends up "filling it up with those spywares that were on the news last week" from "the AOL or whatever", and takes with it Bobby's role in SBURB. In the end Hank doesn't seem to make it out into the Medium in time for the meteor strike on his house, and his family dies in the explosion. The rest of the neighborhood suffers a similar fate.

The Rainey Street gang learns to deal with the tragedy through Kernelsprites and prototyping, but then they come to a rough descision: who do they revive?

Soon enough they end up with COTTONSPRITE, KHANSPRITE, REDCORNSPRITE and LADYBIRDSPRITE after a long series of hijinx involving dead people. But they all come to a startling realization: the earth is slated for absolute destruction. The group needs to figure out how to find a safe place to live and try to turn back the clock, and maybe figure out how to save everything.

And then they begin recieving messages from players of other doomed SBURB games. The 48 DOOMED PLAYERS all escaped destruction themselves, but they want to end this cycle before it takes over everyone they will ever know! So far the members we know of are THEIR LEADER PETER GRIFFIN, MARGE SIMPSON, MAGGIE SIMPSON, REN HOEK, ITCHY, SCRATCHY, POOCHIE, BEAVIS, BUTTHEAD, HANK VENTURE, and MICHAEL SCOTT.

Then, Hank finally realizes...this was his land all along. Arlen is the only land that he could ever have. It's the Land of Stars and Stripes. He found his quest bed. He was reborn.

Ths latest update has finally brought Hank Hill into his true potential. But what could happen next??? You really, really want to find out!

[Destruction Dragon 360]

That is all.
P.S. This is awesome.

[Nexev]

Huh so in this universe Eridan's tastes are actually extremely pro?

Anyway the most shocking thing about these updates is that Andrew apperantly actually was pretty in keeping with reality with one of his characters. Namely Cal,

[Weather Report]

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Huh so in this universe Eridan's tastes are actually extremely pro?

Anyway the most shocking thing about these updates is that Andrew apperantly actually was pretty in keeping with reality with one of his characters. Namely Cal,

You mean like proPANE??????????????

All we can say is, Eridan's chathandle is hankHill.

You wanna know what Feferi's is?

It's down below. In the actual update.

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(spoilers: it's hankHill2)

> Feferi: Quick, while you're still adorably excited! Tell us about yourself!



You are FEFERI SWEETPEA PEIXES and you would have to say that your favorite show of all time is King of the Hill. In your dedicated obsession with KotH you have amassed a vast collection of several VHS TAPES containing precious recordings of it, SANS RERUNS BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE STUPID. Due to your club-hopping tendencies, you have accumulated a myriad of TALENTS. Your favorite catchphrase is "I'm a meat and potatoes girl". None of that cake crap for you!

King of the Hill...came to you during a dark and troubling time in your life. It managed to make Texas beautiul again.

You spent thousands of hours watching DISNEY PRINCESS CARTOONS as a lil' babe, and over time developed a sort of complex wherein you see yourself as a REAL-LIFE DISNEY PRINCESS-FIGURE who must FIND HER PRINCE TO BE TRULY HAPPY. And then you will take over AMERIGAS PROPANE COMPANY through hard work, true gumption and climbing your way up from the bottom rung of the corporate ladder. This princess isn't gonna just sit around, she's GOIN' places!

To you, every male around your age is a viable prince in-waiting. You just need to narrow down your choices through your RIGOROUS SET OF NECESSITIES, which really means you have strict tastes. Can they even be called tastes? Aw well, you'll narrow down your choices soon enough. Your good friend ERIDAN however is not a prince. He's more like a princess. Nah, not really. He's more like a queen, if we get you. Because he's not manly. He really just isn't. He's more like kind of gay. He's still your best friend though, but you won't be tying HIS knot if you know what you mean! But he is incredibly loyal and always tries to help you out, which you really appreciate! You often have long, drawn-out conversations about the morality and hidden themes of individual KOTH episodes. He loves it almost as much as you do.

You also have a JERKY OLDER SISTER WHOM YOU DO NOT LIKE VERY MUCH, and some INCREDIBLY RICH PARENTS who were able to buy a total of TWO DOWNSTAIRS TELEVISIONS. You just can't do that these days.

Your chathandle is hankHill2, and you have a habit of SCR----EAMING SOM----E WORDS when you get all ----EXCIT----ED!!

> Feferi: Do something awesome.



Y-----ES!! First, you think you'll message the MASTERMIND behind this INCREDIBLE STORY and-

Oh. No. Never mind. We've switched back to Mr. Cal. What a pain.

You are Mr. Cal. What will you do?

[Nexev]

Ms Paint: Be a mexican cleaning lady who has no idea what homestuck is and thinks people are jumping the gun

[Kaynato]

"Accidentally" severely injure yourself.

[Trish]

> Mr. Cal: NO GO SCREW YOURSELF SOMEWHERE ELSE WE DONT WANNA BE YOU



It appears that you have SEVERELY INJURED YOURSELF.

We don't know why this has happened.

In any case we can NO LONGER BE MR. CAL. At least, NOT FOR RIGHT NOW. It...it would just be too painful.

> Mr. Cal: Be Ms. Paint.



You are now MS. PAINT, Doc Holiday Middle School's local Mexican JANITOR.

Although you do enjoy PAINTING as your name would suggest, your real passion in life is JANITORING. Sadly these two interests often get mixed up, as you sometimes dunk your MOP in your PAINT BUCKET by mistake. (Yes, you ALWAYS CARRY BOTH BUCKETS.) However, you tend to become so absorbed in your duties that you have NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON ABOUT MUCH OF ANYTHING. For one thing, you KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HOMESTUCK, even though kids have been mentioning it ALL DAY. Especially that ONE SHADES KID. It's too bad that you FORGOT HIS NAME. Gee, that kid sure is jumping the gun. Always talking about his MYSTERIOUS MERCH. It's REALLY STUPID, actually.

Also, you are a dedicated MOTHER with three SONS, one DAUGHTER, and a LOVING HUSBAND. NOT THAT IT REALLY MATTERS TO US.

You have been wasting over ONE HOUR trying to wipe away this NASTY GRAFFITI of SOME GUY wearing a CAP with ARMS for HAIR. It is very exhausting, but it's nothing you can't handle. There's a surprising amount of graffiti in this schoolhouse.

Wait, what's that sound?

CHINK



That's the sound of a broken leg.

CHUNK



Two broken legs.

> Karkat: Brood.

A little bit longer and I'll be fine.
But you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
And you don't know what it's like to feel so low
And everytime you smile you laugh you glow
You don't even know, know, know.
You don't even know.

He doesn't look too happy today.

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Also, we're about ready to return to bigger, fatter updates for spring break! Sadly, we will be wasting approximately NINE DAYS in the Doc Holiday schoolhouse because of this. So make any crazy requests you want to, and we'll probably have the REALLY CRAPPY BITMAP-FILLED FLASH PAGE up by the end of the break. Happy hunting!

[Trish]

> Karkat: Flash back.



You'll just give us the basic rundown this time around. You're too exhausted to want to think about anything more.

Well, you didn't think it was possible. You and the gang managed to do TWO OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS: eat out at the Olive Garden, and go on another sweet, sweet midnight ride. The only things that could have made that night better: a stack of Marmaduke comics with a side of ROLLING ROCK. Too bad Uncle Jack won't let you smoke or drink, or paste newspaper comics on the back of the truck. "Ugly," he calls it. And anyhow, playing "DANCE DANCE" on the radio at max volume after a few minutes of the FAT ALBERT THEME SONG had been enough of a sacrifice.

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But it ain't a midnight cruise without the cops on your tail. It took a while this time - almost came at 12:02 - but eventually they got wise to it. You heard them shouting about how the music was too loud, and that as well as child endangerment the Crew could now be charged with disturbing the peace.

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But it don't stop, honey.

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Not when you've got deliveries to make...

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And here you are today. Practically paralyzed from the waist down, aren't you. It's hideous.

[wolftamer9]

> Meet up with your lawyer(s?)

[Trish]

> Karkat: Get wheelchair.



No; you'll do fine with just crutches. Besides, wheelchairs are for people who broke TWO legs! You...you only broke one.

> Karkat: Get lawyers.



Sadly the only lawyers YOU ever knew went out of business long, long ago. You might have to get desperate.

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KARKAT: Hello, Ms. Paint.
MS. PAINT: Hello.
KARKAT: I broke my leg last night. Can you be my lawyer?
MS. PAINT: No. I'm sorry.
KARKAT: It's okay.
KARKAT: Your hat looks very pretty today.
MS. PAINT: Thank you.

> Karkat: Be Ms. Paint for a moment.



You are now Ms. Paint. Wow, poor broken leg guy.

Suddenly you hear a PECULIAR CONVERSATION, and it's coming from AROUND THE BEND.

Dr. Scratch says, Professor Honeybee...you're fired. Professor Honeybee screams a very long "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO". He goes on about all the dedicated years of working with Doc Holiday, and the fact that there are some teachers here that don't even do a blessed thing. Dr. Scratch says that will do. Honeybee is pardoned from his teaching duties...forever.

The good professor walks out dejectedly. Dr. Scratch feels as if he's done what he set out to do. He returns to his office, and shortly afterward throws out his welcome mat.

> Karkat: Be you. Enter.

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TEREZI: H4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444 4
TEREZI: Wh4t'r3 you DO1ng, V4nt4s?
TEREZI: B31ng a doctor who do3sn't 3v3n know how to us3 CRUTCH3S?
TEREZI: Th4t's why you'll n3v3r b3 4 doctor!
TEREZI: (B3c4us3 you'r3 not v3ry sm4rt.)
FEFERI: Karkaaaaaaat! What...what happened?
ROSE: NICE CRUTCHES, VANTAS!
Kanaya seriously considered saying "Look What The Karkat Dragged In", but wisely decided against it.

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DAVE: tch

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DAVE: what kind of stupid idiot puts his full weight on some crutches
FEFERI: Don't be mean, Dave!
TEREZI: H4! H4H4! H4H4H4H4H4!
KARKAT: I broke my leg, guys! So shut uuuuup!
DAVE: how bout the other leg
KARKAT: It...it hurts.
KARKAT: And why walk when your arms can do the legs' work for them.
DAVE: so dumb
DAVE: fef why do you even hang out with a guy like that
FEFERI: Karkat's nice, though!
DAVE: feferi as your boyfriend i forbid you and karkat from knowing each other
FEFERI: 8(
DAVE: oh fef you know im just kidding around
DAVE: ill be your man and karkat can just follow us to the mickey ds
FEFERI: ...
DAVE: he can be the family dog
FEFERI: ...You're so assertive, Dave.
FEFERI: I...I think I like that about you.
KARKAT: Oh no no no NOOO you don't!
JOHN: i smell a battle between the two knights!
JADE: i call it "bonds of blood, wrath of time"!
VRISKA: Ooh, good Homestuck referencing!
ARADIA: did s0meb0dy say h000mestuck
KARKAT: NO! NO comments from the peanut gallery!
KARKAT: Daniel Dave. You are suuuch a freaking piece of crap stepping all over Feferi like that.
KARKAT: I'm not letting it slide this time.
FEFERI: Guys, we can work this out! You know my motto: I'm a meat and potatoes girl!

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FEFERI: You can BOTH have me!
DAVE: no
KARKAT: EW NO THAT'S POLYGAMY
TEREZI: Why not, you guys?
KARKAT: You! Terezi! GO shut up somewhere else.
TEREZI: You 4nd D4v3 could comb1n3 w1th F3f3r1 to m444k3...w41t for 1...
TEREZI: TH3 N3W-4G3 R3TRO JON4S BROTH3RS!
DAVE: oh is fef one of the brothers too
TEREZI: Y3S!
TEREZI: S33, D4V3 G3TS 1T!
DAVE: no i dont i reject it
KARKAT: OOOH my GOOOOOSH, Terezi! I have had to deal with too much bullpoo these past several hours! YOU'RE gonna go SHUT UUUUUUP!!!
FEFERI: Hear me out! See, Karkat can get the M-EAT, and Dave will get my HOT POTATO-ES!
DAVE: these euphenisms are new to me
KARKAT: Feferiiiiii, that's naaastyyy! Just...just drop iiiiiit!
FEFERI: Who said anything about euphenisms?! It's just my catchphrase, people!
KARKAT: Mr. CAAAAAAL, everyone's being NASTY and why do I have to deal with all the universe's infinite BULLSHI--
MR. CAL: karkat, honey, don't curse now
MR. CAL: two minutes' time-out for you!
KARKAT: B-but I--
MR. CAL: detention's right in that corner son
KARKAT: But I didn't even FINISH saying bullshit!
VRISKA: Ooooo
ARADIA: 00000
JOHN: ooooo
DAVE: ooooo
TAVROS: oOOOO
FEFERI: Ooooo
???: Ooooo
TEREZI: Ooooo
ROSE: Ooooo
MR. CAL: ooooo
KANAYA: Ooooo
JADE: ooooo
KARKAT: HAHA shit now I'm really in detention.
DAVE: looks like i won this fight and i didnt even have to draw my sword
DAVE: did you see my victory honey
DAVE: did you see me win your heart
FEFERI: I dunno, am I won over now?
DAVE: yes now can i be the vriska to your kanaya
KANAYA: Who Said Something About Me?
KARKAT: UGUGUGUGUGUGUUGUGUGUGUUGUGUGUGUGGGGGGGH
KARKAT: I - AM SICK - OF AAAAAALL OF Y'AAAAAALL!!!
KARKAT: TWO MINUTES AND- AND--
MR. CAL: shushush now, vantas!

> Karkat: Walk angry.



Ohhhhhh your friggin' god do you hate Mr. Cal right now. You mean can the guy just be a serious teacher for once in his life. He knows good and well what happened to you last night, the idiotic- uh...fucked-up...vomit...piece of shit, um... Yeah, all that. Either he can stop being a complete joke or start giving you a friggin' breather.

This is so horrible you might have to cut yourself.

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The Midnight Moving Crew couldn't even really help you back there. Couldn't even slow down for once. You break the speed limit a few times, and then EVERYBODY'S laughing at your crutches.

> Karkat: Flashback again, but only to showcase cut material.



Shoot, alright. Good time for it. You are gonna give us the entire flashback, TL;DR edition, and we are all going to sit back and enjoy it.

Just do it, for the boy's sake.

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SNAFFY: Alright you crime-commitin' hooligans! Sto that horrid music and pull over this instant, infernal lads! And you, ya Vantas orphan boy, drop off or drop dead!
KARKAT: WHAAAAAAAAAT!?
SNAFFY: Snaffy says hit the PAVEment, ya wee unattentive laddie!
KARKAT: YOU HEAR THAT, CREW!? SNAFFY WANTS ME TO KILL MYSELF! OH MY GOOOOOOOD!
SNAFFY: Who said that, you idiotic son of a gun! At worst it'll only hurt your wee legs, lad!
SNAFFY: You're young, the bone'll grow back! What are ya, first deaf and now dumb, ya wee laddie!
KARKAT: HAHAHA! OOH MY GOD, I CAN BARELY HEAR YOU OVER MY OWN LAUGHTER! AND ALSO THIS SERIOUSLY LOUD MUSIC! GOD ARE MY EARS BURNING.
KARKAT: SO WHAT'LL YOU DO IF I DON'T DROP? SHOOT ME DOWN?
SNAFFY: Unfortunately for the both of us...

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SNAFFY: O'l Snaffy O'Manny might just have to!
KARKAT: ABABABABABABABABABABABA OOOOOOH MY GOOOOOOOD
KARKAT: WHEN DID YOU BUY A MACHIIIIINE GUUUUUUUUUUUUN
KARKAT: STOP THE TRUCK CREW, I AM SERIOUS! DEAD FUCKIN' DENNIS THE MENACE DICK TRACY- STYLE SERIOUS!
KARKAT: YOU STILL THERE, DEUCY!?

I'M TWO QUARTERS AND A HEART DOWN
AND I DON'T WANNA FORGET HOW YOUR VOICE SOUNDS
THESE WORDS ARE ALL I HAVE SO I'LL WRITE THEM
SO YOU NEED THEM JUST TO GET BY

KARKAT: YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, UNIVERSE!?!?

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KARKAT: WOW, SOME CRACKERJACK AIM!
KARKAT: HAHA, YOU ARE HITTING EVERYTHING BUT ME!
KARKAT: AS ERIDAN WOULD SAY, KNOCK KNOOOCK! WHO'S THEEERE?!
KARKAT: IT'S SNAFFY...O'ICAN'THITANYTHING, HERPDY DERPDY DERP!
SNAFFY: Always fun to see the rude ones squirm.
KARKAT: HERPDY DERPDY - AHHH SHIT! OOOOW! SNAFFY YOU CRAZY POLICE BITCH YOU REALLY GOT ME!
SNAFFY: What are you blabbing about, I freaking clipped your coat, ya big wimpy lad!
KARKAT: *sniff* I KNOW, BUT IT'S MY BEST FRIGGIN' GRAY COAT!

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Your feet slipped. Both at the same time. And so did your hands.

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KARKAT: SHIT LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DOOOOOOOOOO

...And here you are today.

> Karkat: Slip horribly.



AND THAT'S JUST WONDERFUL.

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It is so easy to slip on these things, but you are not going back on your one good leg that easily.

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MR. CAL: your time-out is now over! HOO HOO!
KARKAT: DOESN'T ANYONE SEE ME LYING HELPLESS ON THE FLOOR, CRUTCHES FAR FUCKIN' OUT OF REACH, GOOD LEG BENT THE WRONG WAY!?!?

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TAVROS: mAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY CRAWLING,
KARKAT: That's NOT the POINT, Tav!
TAVROS: yOU LOOK ANGRY,
TAVROS: tHINK I MAY HAVE TO BURN YOU,
KARKAT: IN WHAT SITUATION WOULD I EVER NEED TO GET FREAKIN' BURNED?!

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TAVROS: oH, gEEZ, jUST A SUGGESTION,
VRISKA: Tavros! Stop playing around with the cursing cra8man and get back to our 8ig and important secret plan-related meeting!
TAVROS: sORRY ABOUT THIS, yOU CAN BORROW MY LIGHTER LATER,
KARKAT: I don't WAAANT III! STOOOP!
FEFERI: Sorry for not seeing you down there, Karkat.
FEFERI: Here, I'll help you up!
KARKAT: Ow. Ugh. Thanks. I have been helped.
FEFERI: You're welcome! Oh, by the way...
FEFERI: I am sorry Karkat, but I'm getting so many suitors all of a sudden!
KARKAT: Oh my gosh, but what does this -
FEFERI: First Eridan, then you, now Strider! And I SWEAR I saw John leering across the room at me.
FEFERI: I have to remember to tell him later...sorry, but he's too young for me!
FEFERI: I...don't know if we can date anymore.
KARKAT: WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!
KARKAT: So you mean ME talking about how ANNOYING TEREZI is counts as DATES?!
FEFERI: Of course they did! I LIK-E you!
FEFERI: ...Oh my gosh. This whole time you didn't see it the SAM--E WAY!?
KARKAT: Pfft, no!

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FEFERI: This is P--ERF---ECT!!
KARKAT: How?
FEFERI: It M-EANS you don't LOV---E me!
FEFERI: So we're just FRI-----ENDS!!
KARKAT: Haha, wow, I guess that IS funny. Hahaha.
KARKAT: Oh god I am such an idiot.
FEFERI: HA HA HA H-----E-----E! SO this WHOL----E TIM----E we were JUST FRI----ENDS.
KARKAT: Aren't we in middle school though? I thought this kind of thing was still classified as a 'playdate'.
FEFERI: Ha ha, nooo, silly!
KARKAT: Crap...we could have had ACTUAL dates.
FEFERI: Yeah, what a wasted opportunity, am I right?
FEFERI: But it's been fun, and I know I can't be YOUR true love!
FEFERI: You need to slap this romantic tension in the face and hook it up with T--ER--EZI over there!
TEREZI: Wh4t, som3on3 s4y som3th1ng?
TEREZI: OH! OH MY GOSH H333Y K4RK4444444T!
KARKAT: Oh my gosh don't make me.
FEFERI: Well, I don't want you to end up like a loveless Knives Chau!
KARKAT: Knives what.
FEFERI: Scott Pilgrim?
KARKAT: Who.
FEFERI: Do I have to explain ----EV----ERYTHING? I, the Scott, loved you, the Knives, but now I love Dave, the funky rollerblading Ramona Flowers. You should really read that story sometime!
FEFERI: Then once you're all squared away with whoever Knives is supposed to be in love with after Scott, I will be neatly paired off with Daniel Dave Strider, and everyone lives HAPPILY ----EV----ER AFT----ER!!
KARKAT: I'm not even guaranteed a happy ending?!
KARKAT: Besides that, what about Eridan?
FEFERI: He will find a nice strapping young man eventually.
FEFERI: But you shouldn't worry about him - he seems content.
KARKAT: If you say so.
KARKAT: But holy frig, what do you even SEE in that guy Strider!? He's just a JERK who always wants it HIS way!
FEFERI: What? He's cool!
KARKAT: AAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH.

> Eridan: Enter.



Everyone is going to love your shirt.

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Everyone is going to love this ham.

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After some thought, we've decided that we might go back to the Trollz at some point during spring break, due to some reworking and whatever.

[Mibbs]

Eridan: HAM it up (GET IT ITS A JOKE(AHAHAH))