EQUIQUEST: 2010: CON YA DIGGIT? (COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!(say like kahn))

[Crowstone]

Yeah, but he doesn't do that every day. For this, it pretty much is updated with a minimum of 8 or so pages every. Single. Day. Even with the artwork quality, that's pretty impressive.

THE ARTWORK QUALITY IS WHAT GOT ME INTO THE ADVENTURE IN THE FIRST PLACE
It is simply amazing~
The faces from the first couple of pages of the adventure were sooooo beautifully awesomely funny we need to see more of that yes :3

[Flairina]

THE ARTWORK QUALITY IS WHAT GOT ME INTO THE ADVENTURE IN THE FIRST PLACE
It is simply amazing~
The faces from the first couple of pages of the adventure were sooooo beautifully awesomely funny we need to see more of that yes :3

Alright, then ESPECIALLY with the artwork quality.

[Flairina]

THE ARTWORK QUALITY IS WHAT GOT ME INTO THE ADVENTURE IN THE FIRST PLACE
It is simply amazing~
The faces from the first couple of pages of the adventure were sooooo beautifully awesomely funny we need to see more of that yes :3

Alright, then ESPECIALLY with the artwork quality.

[Weather Report]

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I don't really know how to respond to these compliments... As you're all aware, this story is thus far predominantly a comedy, so for you all to be saying "it looks crappy but it really made me laugh" (okay, you all said it in a much nicer manner!) really makes me feel happy. Trish, say something!

: J

Thank you, Trish. And I mean that as in you are all Trish, and that includes Trish for saying that, and you are all stars in the sky. Now let's get movin'.

> Aradia: Begin dress-up.



WWWOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAHHH CLOTHES PARTYYYYYYYYYY

> Aradia: C'mon now! Settle on something! You're EMBARRASSING yourself.



You're right. You THOUGHT you TOLD yourself to always live your life AS IF ANDREW WAS WATCHING YOU. If he saw you doing this he would make a joke about it in a second.

> Aradia: Settle on something.



BAM. GLAM. YOU ARE MA'AM. This seems like it could work. Then again it was too obvious.

> Aradia: Make yourself some of those butterfly hair things.



Hey! Great idea! You could never go ANYWHERE without THOSE!

Those hair-thingies are a memento. From a simpler time, a more wonderful era. Andrew gave them to you when he was still good and nice and thoughtful. But now he's butts. Everything he is is butts. And you don't like the sound of that.

But, in respect to the man your cousin once was...

> Aradia: Make them out of your hat's headband.



> Aradia: What about the rest?



Well, you don't really need any shoes, since you don't got no feet. But maybe you'd like to wear this little sock over yer' ghostly tail.



AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

> Everyone: Congratulate her!

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GOATS: SURPRISE!
GOATS: HAPPY CLOTHING MISS ARADIA! MEH!
EQUIUS: Aradia that looks nice on you
EQUIUS: Also sorry I used your alchemy machines really fast
EQUIUS: Eridan just gave me some jammin' clothing ideas and I am wearing the 'Diamond Jim' suit
EQUIUS' PHONE: Yyippee kkayay mm-mmmotherfuckers
ARADIA: how long were you guys...up there
HIGH GOAT: Why, we followed you up here from the very start, meh!
HIGH GOAT: We couldn't let you go off on your own just yet, could we? You could have choked on something!
ARADIA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH
ARADIA: OH NO!

> Aradia: Quick! Divert embarrassment!

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ARADIA: i cannot believe it
EQUIUS: Sorry were we not supposed to...?
ARADIA: you saw me
ARADIA: putting on that sock
ARADIA: i am so humiliated that you saw me putting this little sock over me ghosty tail
ARADIA: ugh now my social life is over
ARADIA: *tearss*
EQUIUS' PHONE: Ddon't worry aradia
IT'S ACTUALLY JUST ERIDAN: Ii'm just a pphone
EQUIUS: If it makes you feel better I'm wearing socks too
EQUIUS: And you were too, earlier
ARADIA: how could you look at someones socks
ARADIA: you disgust me

> Equius: Reap the after-effects of this confrontation.



Aw shit! Equius' self-confidence fell a startling 89 points! Now he feels even WORSE about himself than before! The guilt is just dripping off like rainy sweat!

At least Aradia isn't more humiliated than she could have been! Aww well! Good job, yo! Aradia has VAMPIRIZED an additional 52 SELF-CONFIDENCE DOLLOPS. She has attained the SELF-WORTH RANK: I STILL SORTA SUCK THOUGH AND SHOULD FEEL BAD ABOUT IT.

[Crowstone]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Okay now I guess we can go swim in the fried rice lake, yeah?

by the way

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what are those laser things she's doing? : http://s19.postimage.org/xdcindasz/too_much.gif

[Flairina]

> Aradia: Be THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!!! ARRRRR!!!

Let me just say that the third and fourth pics are the cutest Aradia ever.

[Weather Report]

by the way

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what are those laser things she's doing? : http://s19.postimage.org/xdcindasz/too_much.gif

The lasers are like what Nanna does with cooking stuff and ovens: (a better example can be found when John fights the first ogres I think)

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Aradia has the ability to shoot FROG STATUE HEADS from her EYE BEAMS. Because, you know, frog combination. But they sorta look like hamburgers there or something.

Let me just say that the third and fourth pics are the cutest Aradia ever.

YES! It TOTALLY WORKED!! With the baby one I was originally going to use a picture of baby Aradia using some other version of this page:

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But I didn't find a proper Aradia version until just after I made the one I used, but it still worked. I'm glad it seems so delicate~

The other one was made to be a stupid homage to:

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The multitude of sparkles was added to increase lameness. I'm happy people seem to be enjoying the new outfit so far. I'm going to update her sprite on the story map soon, so that you can do stuff with the things with it.

Edit: Done, here's V.2. Equius and Aradia look different.

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[Flairina]

I like to imagine that in that chart, everyone is just sort of standing on top of each other, trying to keep up some sort of awesome balancing act. So of course, they put Equius on top. XD

[Weather Report]

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I like to imagine that in that chart, everyone is just sort of standing on top of each other, trying to keep up some sort of awesome balancing act. So of course, they put Equius on top. XD

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tee hee

> Everyone: Walk down to the lake.

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ARADIA: oh wow
ARADIA: this was a terrible idea guys
ARADIA: who even thought of this
GOATS: You did MEH.
ARADIA: i feel terrible
EQUIUS: No don't
EQUIUS: It was magical time-traveling Aradia
ARADIA: future-me is a dumbass i tell you
ARADIA: a dumbasssssssssssssssssss (:(
GOAT: Do not be sad.
GOAT: You can eat the rice.
GOAT: Made for eating it was MEH.
ARADIA: it
ARADIA: it was
ARADIA: well then
GOAT: Yes?
ARADIA: can i have
ARADIA: some butter
GOAT: ok

> Aradia: Dig in.



Holy rice there is so much unc' ben's in here. It's Ricehalla. It's the Rice Circle of Heaven. It's...

Yuck, it's Nang Thom Cho Dao rice.

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ARADIA: this is nang thom cho dao rice
ARADIA: its terrible
GOAT: It is not to your liking? We have stoked the rice for HUNDREDS OF YEARS!
ARADIA: im sorry but the only good fried rice is brown rice
ARADIA: all other rice tastes like badness given solid form
ARADIA: i i just dont like them
EQUIUS: WOW you are picky
ARADIA: shut up waaaaaaaah
ARADIA: one of these days im going to be future me and im going to tell you to use good rice
GOAT: But it already happened so you can't really change it.
GOAT: Time loops MEH.
ARADIA: dumb
ARADIA: ass
ARADIA: aradia
EQUIUS: There there I am sure it has a purpose.
HIGHGOAT: Actually she is quoted as saying "eh if you're gonna make a big rice thing just use any kind of rice because it doesnt matter".
ARADIA: i hate me more now

Aradia's SELF-CONFIDENCE STANDARDIZED BEAKER has just lost 17 DOLLOPS! She has fallen to the rank: I DON'T DESERVE TO TAKE VITAMINS IN THE MORNING ANYMORE.

> Highgoat: State next goal.

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HIGHGOAT: Now then, let us be off to the first location of sealed music!
HIGHGOAT: We must proceed with caution, for there is sure to be a large assortment of enemies waiting for us.
EQUIUS: You mean me and Aradia
HIGHGOAT: Mostly Aradia, truly.
ARADIA: i dont want to
EQUIUS: We can handle it though
EQUIUS: We are battle veterans
EQUIUS: I have blown up bad guys earlier
EQUIUS: And you have been living in an Andrew war zone for years
EQUIUS: Don't be scared
ARADIA: uh okay
ARADIA: but i wont like it
ARADIA: i think
HIGHGOAT: That's our darling guardian spirit! Now let us cross the lake to battle! HOOAH!!
GOATS: MEEEEEH!
ARADIA: aaaaaaaah
EQUIUS: Leeleeleeleelee

[Flairina]

> Proceed to battle. Make sure you do so to the tune of "Please Don't Stop The Music", or some other song with a similar sentiment.

[Weather Report]

FLESH PEDGE SIX - IT'S REALLY SHORT

It's just some exposition, I hope you like it. By the by, I only decided to do it like this on a whim when Flairina suggested music...

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[S] Aradia and Equius: To the sea.

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ARADIA: whats that
GOAT: That is the Great Statue of Aradia! It looks like you.
ARADIA: its sorta creepy
EQUIUS: Nah its cool
ARADIA: hee
HIGHGOAT: It is the crown jewel of Great Aradia City. It took two hundred years to build!
EQUIUS: So you live over there right
EQUIUS: May we go see it later
HIGHGOAT: Sure.

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HIGHGOAT: Now however, we must proceed toward...

----------

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Next up: Gamzee.

[Flairina]

What the... what IS that thing that washed up on shore?

[Weather Report]

What the... what IS that thing that washed up on shore?

Which thing? The statue? The NMH Aradiavision Sexy Travis box? The keytaur? The... rice?

[Flairina]

Which thing? The statue? The NMH Aradiavision Sexy Travis box? The keytaur? The... rice?

Wait, nevermind. It's the goat hoard. It looked like some sort of giant slug, my bad. XD

[Trish]

========>



Wow. It seems as if things everywhere are coming to some sort of head. You feel as if all of the climaxes are either a little ways past you, or nearly within reach!

You're lucky Kanaya took the gold/silver friend guess for you this time...not like that was entirely necessary. Then again, it does seem to be your only way out of this tasteless molestation game. What a brain-dead angel!

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NEPETA: ive decided...that my next friend.....will be gamzee.
Your wish is granted.
The countdown proceeds.

[o] Be Gamzee.



You are now Gam--WOAH!!

========>



WHAAA!!

========>



AAAAAAH!!

========>



WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Zoom out already!



You are Gamzee Makara, and you are trying MADLY to accomplish a few last things before you TEMPORARILY LEAVE EARTH!

> Gamzee: View chat with WV.



Oh, that's Wayland, of course! Wait, we already knew that!?

Anyway you got to know him over an MS PAINT FAN ADVENTURE-THEMED CHATROOM, with his groupies BUCKSTRICKLAND and PEGGYSBROWNBETTY. You remember them to be kind of ANNOYING, but Wayland to be impeccably GOOD at writing FAN ADVENTURES. Obviously, you hit it off!

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terminallyGamzee [TG] began chatting with waylandVagaboney [WV].

TG: HEYYYY Vagabones! I have some EXTREMELY important news to tell you!
WV: wow but what is it
TG: I'm going on a short vacation!
WV: vacation to where
WV: you wouldn't just so happen to be going to a place called alternia
WV: would you now gamzee makara
TG: WHAAAAAT!?!? HOW'D YOU KNOW!?
WV: investigations
WV: can you tell me if you know anything about what andrew is planning and also don't be afraid because there are people doing all they can to stop you from vacationing to alternia
TG: It's a joke, Wayland...because ACTUALLY I'm going to a real, non-fictional place! :D
WV: lol in that case you got me really good
WV: because i assume you did not know
WV: that there are a bunch of people
WV: who live in texas just like you
WV: who are named after characters from homestuck just like you
WV: and are going on short vacations to alternia
WV: just like you
TG: That's not like me at all though! 3:I
TG: But since I'm going on vacation to NEW JERSEY......
TG: ...I won't have time to update my COOL DEATHSTUCK STORY!
WV: but i would have no time for it either
TG: You've got time to spare! I'm sure nobody would mind if you, like, cut your update speed in half.
WV: but gamzee
WV: people read my story *every* *day*
TG: I understand if you don't wanna take over.
TG: Just saying that Arlenstuck updates hella too much!
TG: And...deep down...don't you think that if you keep updating at such an INSANE RATE, the art and story quality will DECREASE and YOU MIGHT WORK SO HARD YOU'LL GET A HEART ATTACK!?!? 80
WV: oh my god
WV: i think you might be right
WV: but what can i do to not stress myself out
TG: Either you can prepare for your INEVITABLE DEMISE by writing a bunch of notes so that your descendant can take up the Vagaboney mantle and finish the story after your death...
TG: Or you can take a break! ALL THE PROS DO IT!! ;J
WV: they do?
TG: I assume they do!
WV: you've inspired me
WV: here's what i will do
WV: arlenstuck will take a full-on hiatus
TG: !!
WV: and i will consider your offer
WV: and at the same time get back to my other job
TG: YOU HAVE ANOTHER JOB!?!?
WV: yes i investigate and do cop stuff
TG: That's...so cool...
WV: i guess it is
WV: oh but i almost forgot
WV: i'm moving to houston very soon
WV: goodbye and i'll see you later
TG: WAIT THAT'S THE ABSOLUTE WORST NEWS TO SUDDENLY LEAVE ON!!!!!

waylandVagaboney has left the chat.

Well...that's that.

> Gamzee: Woah woah. We knew you knew what was happening, but you are PUMPED THE FUCK UP, bro. Explain current state of affairs.



True, you had the resolve earlier. True, you knew what had to be done and to live up to your family name. But earlier there was a little something that pushed you over the threshold: somebody actively trying to tell you that you won't be coming back.

> Gamzee: Hey, another message. IN THE PAST.



Darn, just when you found your good ol' Pyramidhead (tm) plastic rusty knife to threaten and scare And' Huss' with! The threatening is for making him unkidnap everyone. I mean it's not like you're gonna shank him or something. You'll just jimmy it in his face a few good times. Maybe scare the kids outta him.

Looks like it's the real Aradia this time. Better talk to her, since you've never really spoken online before. What is it for?

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helpMe [HM] began chatting with terminallyGamzee [TG].

HM: gamzee!
TG: Aradia?
HM: i am in the st0ry and just takin a break t0 talk t0 my gam-br0!
TG: In the what? :0
HM: get rid 0f that 0bfuscating stupidity y0u can't p0ssibly be that dumb ab0ut things!
TG: THAT'S NOT NIIIIIICE!
HM: y0 but i g0t sucked int0 alternia just like 0ur 0ther classmates and i g0t int0 a big fight
HM: n0w i am with g0ats
HM: and damnit it sucks damnit am i n0t like allergic t0 g0ats 0r s0me stuff there0f
TG: HOLD IT! OBJECTION!!
TG: The REAL Aradia Megido would NEVER talk like that, robot or no!
TG: And judging by that text color and those inapprorpiate curse words, I can only surmise that YOU...
TG: Are the Handmaid trying to troll me and doing a crappy job of it :smooth:
HM: gamzee that's fuck n0t true
HM: i am getting used t0 a damnit new b0dy
TG: THAT'S NOT HOW ARADIA SPEAKS!! NO MATTER HOW I LOOK AT IT, THAT SIMPLY CAN'T BE HOW ARADIA SPEAKS!!
HM: goddamnitfuckin and i didn't even mean to cuss back there!
HM: anyway you're gonna motherfucking die motherfucker, and i know that because i can do time-travel troll shit
TG: If you can time travel then WHY the flipping flap-flops are you telling ME?!
HM: who the hell do you think i am
HM: some snobby know-nothing cunt came into your classroom with no secret plans whatsoever?
TG: Heh heh, Gurren Lagann. Anime quotes. I see what you did there.
HM: just get out you shitty robot ecchi hentai with tentacles bastard
TG: Since you put it so nicely, no! I will, in fact, stay. But only for you :) *SMOOTH!*
HM: well sit back and get comfortable, because after the truckload of shit i'm about to shit-shovel into your sick mind, not only will you want to kill your useless-ass-fuck-damn self,
HM: you will also be forever haunted knowing that you have never truly lived
HM: it's like your own personal hell
HM: and it's the bloodiest, helliest place there is
TG: Iiiiiif you say so!

========>

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HM: you know those evangelion movies you have such a perverse fascination with
HM: they will be delayed to effing infinity
HM: locked in development purgatory where they're cursed to wander for like ten years
HM: and then they will be beautiful
TG: NO! That's really disappointing!
TG: You're just trying to psyche me out, aren't you?
HM: and the arrancar arc of bleach?
HM: it's ending in 2012
TG: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
TG: You mean I have to wait TWO MORE YEARS?!
HM: oh no not you
HM: you think you're gonna come back outta that game in time
HM: but if you get pulled in you're gonna die
TG: LIES.
HM: shut your smelly ass up
TG: It is NOT smelly...
HM: you know what you're really gonna wanna catch
HM: THE
HM: MOTHAH
HM: FLIPPIN OFF THE DICK
HM: ONE
HM: PIECE
HM: TIMESKIP
TG: NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
TG: Aw what the crap I'm actually CRYING! Darn you!
HM: you know what could work though
HM: kill the bastard
TG: No way that's evil get outta town Charlie Brown!
TG: I'm not falling for it.
HM: ugh oh my dicks
HM: i'm actually gonna have to be genuine here
HM: can't stand that shit
HM: but if you don't do something drastic every one of your twelve troll friends is deadass dead meat
TG: And you know this because you travel through time.
HM: yes
TG: I don't trust you, miss darkdeathevilwoman. Better try someone else. And by someone else I mean SHUT UP with the EVIL WORDS KIDDO.
HM: i am the servant of the andrew man himself
HM: of course i know his plans
HM: he's using every one of you for his own ends
HM: and it would mean the end of every goddamn thing
HM: if you want to save the world you're gonna have to kill him
HM: and sometimes to stop evil, you must harness it for a little while
HM: you know death note
HM: of course you do
HM: prepare yourself tonight, and tomorrow morning on the way to the big convention strike him down where he stands
HM: please
HM: for both our sakes
HM: ass-hat blowjob clitface dickfuck eartwat fuckfuck goddamn hobag iced-ass jackoff-king koochkooch lameass mothafuckin' nutsack orangina pissflap q-word-cuss rimjob-lovin' shitbag titfuck unbelievable-assworm vagbaggin' whorewank x-ray-eyes-motherfucker yes-man-fuck-my-eyes-guy zenophobic bitch-bitch fuck fuckety fuck fuck
HM: sorry, that happens when i hold it in
HM: don't be offended
TG: Wow, you really have a point...AND A PROBLEM. Don't you think you got LAZY on some of those, too?
HM: t{umu}t

helpMe logged off.

And ever since that conversation, you've been struggling to get all your affairs in order! You need to catch up with Homestuck, watch all your favorite anime again, finish your PARASYTE video game, hand off your popular web comic to a capable man, and put the finishing touches on your physical graphic novel! AND YOU ONLY HAVE MORE THAN TWELVE HOURS LEFT!

[wolftamer9]

> Gamzee: Quit watching Malcolm in the Middle and make some plans! Or at least tell us what you're going to do.

> Nepeta: What if the Handmaid was the Gold friend here and Wayland was the Silver friend? You can take that guess with no risks, right? Or have we tried to think along those lines before?

[OrangeAipom]

Wouldn't Handmaid be the silver friend since she's the newer one?

> Break room.

> Now that Kanaya is smarter, ask her for the answers.

[ICan'tGiveCredit]

>Make Kanaya read the answers from a Gamebro magazine she suddenly found.

[wolftamer9]

Wouldn't Handmaid be the silver friend since she's the newer one?

The working theory here is that since the Handmaid is being more helpful than Wayland, she must rank gold while he only ranks silver.

[OrangeAipom]

The working theory here is that since the Handmaid is being more helpful than Wayland, she must rank gold while he only ranks silver.

Is that how the phrase goes?

[Flairina]

And now I know my ABCs. XD

I second OAs suggestion.

[Weather Report]

Woah, all these replies! But hold your hooved things guys, don't want any stray demons clamoring about. We still have some more Gamzee things to go over before we go back to the galz. We ain't gonna forget these suggestions, but wait, dammit, this ain't Malcolm in the Middle, lime guy! It's JIKOU TENSHOU NAZCA or whatever. GET IT RIGHT (yes it's the anime off the Malc in Midd theme song and as Trish can contest it is as terrible as it looks).

[Crowstone]

How did I recognize Travis Touchdown
I was like
is that
who's that
that's
that's the guy from no more heroes or something
and i was right :O

Travis Touchdown is the silver friend

[Weather Report]

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Don't worry guys, we're gonna remember all your friendsuggestions for when it is time. But it is not quite time for that yet. Also we're planning on another update later tonight, so be careful! Of something.

> Gamzee: Tell us what you will do next for us.



Not just for you, but for the world, there is something that has to be added upon: YOUR GRAPHIC NOVEL MANGA...



The GLORIOUS SEVEN.

> Gamzee: Tell us about The GLORIOUS SEVEN.



The GLORIOUS SEVEN is your magnum opus, your WRITING LOVECHILD for the past FOUR YEARS. It is a story in the vein of RUROUNI KENSHIN, KARAKURIDOJI ULTIMO, CODE:BREAKER and also NARUTO. The GLORIOUS SEVEN chronicles the tales of SEVEN SAMURAI, mainly HINKO SHINKO of the METAL BLADE, in the OLD JAPAN-PERIOD, who go around KILLING EVIL GHOSTS for the EMPEROR. As the story proceeds, the ghosts begin to become larger, stronger 'AYAKASHI SHADOWMONSTERS', and ALL OF JAPAN is in TROUBLE. The seven samurai develop their INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS together, and become TRUE NAKAMA. Which makes it all the more sadder when you realize... that they may not make it this time...



Fast forward to PRESENT DAY TIMES. Hinko Shinko is asleep, resting by a tree for hundreds of years, because he was TOO STRONG TO DIE. Highschoolgirl AKANE SAKURAI comes along one MORNING and places his OLD SAMURAI SWORD in his hands, and then he reawakens!!



They go to her SCHOOL and then they are attacked by Hinko Shinko's best friend from the OLD DAYS, RANMA SAKURAGI, who was the FIRE-USER of the group. They fight, and they learn that he is a ZOMBIE! While Hinko Shinko was taking a nap all those years, his friends DIED and then CAME BACK TO LIFE to FIGHT HIM! But Hinko Shinko wins and the kids all cheer, and Ranma gets to live with Hinko and Akane.



From that point on, it is a SLICE-OF-LIFE story with RUNAWAY ACTION!! Every morning Akane CHANGES into CLOTHES, and the DOOR is open and somebody looks by ACCIDENT, and she hits them REALLY HARD. It's ALWAYS FUNNY. Then LATER each day, they meet and beat another zombie samurai for EVERY SCHOOLDAY, because they have SATURDAY SCHOOL in that country. It's REALLY FAST-PACED so that it can hold everyone's attention.



But then, that SUNDAY when everyone has come together, the AYAKASHI KING travels into the FUTURE through a TIME WINDOW in order to finally kill his most hated enemies, the LEGENDARY GLORIOUS SEVEN SAMURAI!! So Hinko Shinko, Ranma Sakuragi, YAMATO DOJISHO, HINA YURI, INAZUMA CHOP, NARUTO KUROSAKI and HIRO AMIYUMI, as well as Akane and her friends DOJIKO, MEGANE and HENTAICHERRYBOI, all have to TEAM UP to take on the KING OF ALL AYAKASHI.

Tonight, you need to add just a LITTLE BIT MORE before you're happy with it...

> Gamzee: Add to your story.



Frickin'-A MASTERPIECE. It's just too bad that you'll never get the money off of this thing. Maybe your parents can get it published for themselves.

> Gamzee: Give it to your parents.



HEY MOM AND DAD AFTER I DIE YOU SHOULD GET THIS PUBLISHED!

[Flairina]

So Gamzee's parents are a woman with huge hair and a colossal overbite who may be a troll, and a capricorn. Gamzee, you're just odd.

> Answer whoever it is. (Karkat, apparently.)