i thought the glasses were blush for a while.
> Eridan: Make your move.
Quick, while she's distracted by Karkat's yelling and Terezi's yelling! Do something romantic like putting your hand in her back pocket like on the TV shows! Wait... she has no back pockets. Maybe you can jimmy your fingers into her Ugg boot.
Feferi: Apprehend Stalker!!
Last edited by Weather Report; 03-29-2012 at 05:01 PM.
> Karkat: Look down the road.
Anything to get that Terezi freak out of your field of vision. You think you see something familiar. Friendly, even.
> IT'S THE MIDNIGHT (MOVING) CREW!!
This is just what you needed! Your ticket outta this place! The Midnight Moving Crew!
Owned by your uncle Jack Vantas, who also raises you on account of your parents being MIA all the time, the Midnight Moving Crew is the city's most successful four-man moving company!
The other three running this operation are Damien Droog, the smooth customer of the four, Hearts Boxx, the guy who thinks he knows it all, and Clubs Deucy, the scamp who manages to screw everything up until it gets resolved within eighteen minutes. They sure are a colective riot!
They got popular in the early thousands for being the only local 24-hour 365-day a year moving company. Due to their moniker, they get the most calls at 12 AM. And that's just how they like it.
You've spent many a night tagging along on some of their midnight runs, clinging to the back of the truck. Oh, there were so many antics.
> Remember the good old days.
Ah, the good old days...
Wait, which good old days?
> Just be the Midnight Crew in the past.
Invalid command! Who's the Midnight Crew!
> Fiiine. Be the Midnight MOVING Crew.
Five people at once? Okay. We can do that.
You are now the MIDNIGHT MOVING CREW, LAST NIGHT. You are JACK VANTAS, driving at the helm. You are CLUBS DEUCEY, sitting coolly in the back. You are DAMIEN DROOG, turning on the radio. You are HEARTS BOXX, cigar aflame. You are Karkat Vantas, hanging off the back.
Sure is gettin' dark out. Droog puts on your theme song, "Sanford and Son Theme Song". The energetic junkyard beat plays in cold contrast to the outside air. Perfect time to move some furniture.
8:20 and the sirens start blaring. Crap. This happens every time. You slam the brakes, drop the cigar out the window. Whoops - that's another charge. You clutch the back of the truck more tightly now, getting a bit clammy, turning to face the first few cop cars turning that corner to say, "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH THE MIDNIGHT MOVING CREEEEEW!!"
You take out your phone. Someone's calling CD. You say to Jack we got anudda request. Desperate old lady sayin' t' be at Robin Drive by twelve sharp. You make a risky right turn and say tell 'er we'll be there by nine, add that our crew's name is very misleading and inconvenient. You reply yeah, maybe we shudda called ourselves da plain ol' Movin' Crew. Four-fifths of you murmur in simultaneous agreement.
You holler, a little worried now, from the back of the truck. "HERE COMES HOUSTON'S ENTIRE POLICE FORCE!" you shout, one hand cupped around your mouth, putting you in a precarious and quite illegal balance. "FULL THROTTLE!!"
"HOLY SHIT," you say, starting to mock, "THEY'RE GOT EGGS AT THE HELM! WE'RE IN BIG TROUBLE NOW! JUST DOOON'T LET HIM THROW THAT EGG TIMER AT YA!! HA HA HA!" You know it's not good to poke fun at cops, or criticize them, but you just can't help it when it comes to poor old Eggs.
Truck comes up on Granny's house and the cops are still hot on your tail, getting close now, and you've got another call, and you're so sweaty your hands can't hold on any longer. You look out the right-hand window and say that's it, that's the house, but the daggum cops're trailin', so play your trump card Jack. As usual, nobody can understand Damien Droog's fast talk. You get the gist of what you're saying anyway and, in a hasty move befitting of a Jack, send the steering wheel spinning.
The truck turns and stops so fast you almost hit the poor old woman's house, and if the kid wasn't so hardy the better part of you would've sworn he'd careened right off the back. Quick as a red-blue flash of lightning, cops fly right past your truck, driving wildly away and crashing into several other buildings. You, the fat one in the back, say, deadpan, looks like the cops got on their own bad side tonight. Never trusted 'em.
You take the key out from the ignition, open the glove compartment, flip him a cigar and say they might get on our bad side sometimes, but they're just doin' their jobs, like you an' me. Shut the compartment and say, save that one for later, don't want you smokin' in front of my nephew. Oh, right, you say, disappointed. "It's okaaay, Uncle Jack," you holler as you disembark. "I'll be a responsible preteen. You can smoke in front of me, Mr. Hearts."
Then you posed.
Oh, the good old days. The smashing, the racing, the often explosive action. Most of all, the feeling of being a part of a team. Every night you've spent with these guys is like its own war story. Sometimes you'll get into a short-lived fisticuffs with one of their forces. Sometimes it's Eggs; sometimes it's Crowbar or Snaffy O'Manny. You could just talk about them all day. Heh - remember the time Snaffy came after you with two machine guns, one on each arm? Yep...those were truly the good old says.
You don't just operate a moving company, you're doing so much more. You're not just moving possessions, you're moving dreams.
Wait, those days aren't old! They're still here, right now! You laugh a little to yourself as you think that.
> Karkat: You went on for way too long! Back to reality.
YOU ARE SO MEAN.
Yeah, well, anyway, the crew starts to file out.
Last edited by Weather Report; 06-26-2012 at 11:06 PM.
lets go back to being sollux
The Goodstuff is always behind the spoiler...
Its always changeing really!
> Be Sollux.
You are now Sollux, and you’re currently very busy. Or, not at all, really. You’ve just been standing at this door for about an hour now, staring up at the spirograph. And you just can’t bear to open it.
What will Andrew do to you when you start bitching at him? All you’ve planned thus far is some crappy imaginary “We’re not gonna take it no we ain’t gonna take it” speech to yell at him once you’re close enough in his face. Maybe slap him around a little bit. But what could this accomplish?
Perhaps all you need is to summon up a little bit of courage. You never know what could happen if you just TRY.
But then comes the issue that someone has been tailing you since you left the Chuck E’ Cheese’s. You noticed not soon after spotting Karkat, in fact. You have no way of knowing who it Is unless you take a look, and then... do you really want to know? It could quite possibly be Andrew, preparing for a hazing of some sort.
What if it’s Aradia, or Nepeta, or John even, making sure you’re okay, and you end up dragging them into the whole mess with you?
You decide to test your theory. One quick turn-around and...
Oh, nobody’s there after all. That was just you being paranoid, you guess. It’s a relief, yes, that you won’t be dragging anybody down to hell with you.
... Who said anything about going to hell?
Forget being afraid, forget Andrew’s nigh-invincibility and everything that’s come before this night! Tonight is the start of the rest of your life. You’ll break your dependence on Andrew, and make him realize how important you and Aradia really are. Even if he is the governor of the city, an abuser, a stalker and the world’s strongest man, that doesn’t mean he can just do what he wants.
Equius is probably WAY worse off than you are right now! You’re bringing him home as your responsibility. You are DONE leaving him in the cold!
Equiquest is hereby DISCONTINUED.
> Sollux: Continue Equiquest; be Kanaya.
OH YEAH. KANAYA MARYAM TIME.
...Was that a good line? You hope so, because you're ALWAYS trying to brush up on your comic skills and know-how.
An intro? Yeah, fine, you won't bore us with your jokes. You are Kanaya Maryam, self-proclaimed COMIC GENIUS of Doc Holiday Middle School. As we can plainly see, you take inspiration from the BEST COMEDIANS OF OUR TIME: the people like DANIEL TOSH.O, NAPOLEON DYNAMITE, CHAPELLE SHOW, THE GUY WHO MADE ANIMAL HOUSE, SEINFELD, and oh not to mention MR. HOUSE OF PAYNE. You like to think that at night, their ghostly visages shine down on you like faded angels as you sleep in your RACECAR BED, transmitting their vast knowledge of WIT and JESTS through your brain. You believe you should add that your chathandle is comicGenius (of course) and This Typing Style Of Yours Is Completely Deliberate.
By the way, you walked home when it started getting dark out. That's just how close you live to the Chuck E. Cheese's.
What will you do?
Last edited by Weather Report; 05-19-2012 at 02:35 PM.
Which son do you mean?
Jump on your bed pretend to be Medea
The Goodstuff is always behind the spoiler...
Its always changeing really!
Hey guys, we're still doing an update tonight, but I have something important to bring to everyone's attention: Self-Indulgent Fan Art. I decided to give this shipping thing a try using our own versions of the characters, so of course I chose the most sexually-charged thirteen year-olds our story will allow. And no, it shall not be spoilered, for this needs to be seen by the WORLD.
I call it Bloody Olive Oil Shipping, based all around Nepeta and Aradia's horrible sadomasochistic relationship between each other, and each picture is all about them having immense pain.
(*of course I'm not being serious here*)
I will never draw another picture of this pairing. I only suggest it to the world as another choice for favorite pairings, and maybe I will create more in the future. Thoughts on this?
BONP for necessity.
> Kanaya: Quick, do something to garner audience sympathy.
Zaktan is the greatest. He's big, green, has horns, and uses a cool golden jungle claw whatever thing! Plus, his eyes light up! Perfect at night! You don't regret getting this guy for a second.
But Vezok can go off and die for all you care. Who cares about him? He's just blue! Blue 'cause he knows how STUPID he is. You sould probably get another Zaktan to even out the collection next time.
> Kanaya: Examine posters.
You have posters of all the comedy greats. House of Payne is indisputably the highest-rated TBS (very funny) classic. You could watch their comedy antic forever, them and that fire department.
And Daniel Tosh? Why didn't he get a show sooner? His unique brand of comedy breaks all the rules, and the FCC is probably about ready to kill themselves after everything he's done to them. Sometimes late at night you lodge internal debates over if he's gay or not.
Meet the Browns is self-explanitory. The movie, the show? Masterpieces, all the way through.
Over above your bed and by your computer sit posters of two great Gentleman Dragons: Red Archduke Dragon and Lady Rose Dragon. They are major pieces of the puzzle that is Yugioh 5 Derby Hats. The plot is centered around a group of well-mannered rapscallions on their electricized gaming bicycles [LARGE PORTION OF TEXT OMITTED] AND THEY SAVE THE WORLD.
Now, some may wonder why you don't have any posters for Family Guy, The Simpsons, South Park or Robot Chicken. And then you'd answer; 'I Have All The DVDs Already. Because I Am Totally That Pro.'
> Kanaya: Jump on the bed and pretend to be Madea.
Oh, well you don't particularly care for Tyler Perry movies, but you suppose you could oblige for the fans.
HELLER! UM, I WENT TO PRISON ONCE!
KANAYA MARYAM! STOP THAT RACKET THIS INSTANT! I'M WATCHING MY STORIES!!
... Yes, mom...
Hey, you're being, um, chatted to by two people! One of them is your insane hella-sweet bro GamGam, and the other seems to be one of those e-arrest warrants all the rage on the news these days. Which should you check first?
Last edited by Weather Report; 06-26-2012 at 11:04 PM.
The Goodstuff is always behind the spoiler...
Its always changeing really!
be arrested by cyber police
> Kanaya: Reply to GamGam.
You can’t leave him hanging. You’d much rather get arrested than leave him hanging. And that’s because he is way too cool to just not handl—
> Kanaya: HOW DOES YOUR MOM HAVRE HORNSES!?!?!
Those are not horns, silly. That is her hairstyle. Her hair is beautiful. It is just so beautiful.
> Now where were we?
Okay now, time to be arrested by cyber police.
Last edited by Weather Report; 02-18-2012 at 05:45 PM.
> Kanaya: Answer pester friendly person inviting you to chat with him/her.
Wow, who's this freak? A member of the Felt Police Force? Well, that's certainly not the hat they wear. Might as well answer.
This guy. This guy. You just can't believe how serious he is. Just damn. And you can't imagine how exciting his storytelling may be, but hey, let's give him the benefit of the doubt...
> Kanaya: Read the amazing roleplay.
Why did Gamzee hype these roleplays up so much? Maybe they'd be passable if it was Gamzee with someone different, or - and you don't mean this out of any sort of pride - someone cool, like you. But aRmed just doesn't get it, because this? This is complete hornswoggle. Even Eridan and Karkat roleplaying a battle between Peggy Hill and frikkin' Marmaduke would be better than this. This isn't even good ironically.
Okay, you are going to make a complaint to this guy right now..
YOU WANT SO BADLY TO INSULT HIM, and yet...you think it might jsut be the straw that broke the camel's back. Maybe you're missing something here, like a sort of irresistible charm point. Maybe this RP truly is that master stroke which Gamgam implied it to be.
> Kanaya: Read the whole thing over again. Deliberate.
You do, and your reply is as follows:
Wow. It seems like he...actually warmed up to you a little at the end there. You're shocked by how one man can be so earnest, and yet so creepy and unlikable.
On another shocking note, the more you read this utter crap the more you feel compelled to go on in your ceaseless fit of sick, sick fascination.
You gasp. This is probably how Rose feels toward her HIDEOUS VANITY-PUBLISHED MYSTERY NOVELS.
You are now eagerly awaiting your next chat with the adorably oblivious aRmed.
Last edited by Weather Report; 02-01-2012 at 07:00 PM.
kanaya: try and style your hair like your moms
> Kanaya: Retrace steps.
Uh...hm... You hugged the BIONICLE, you jumped on the bed... What else could there possibly be to do?
Let's see... Back at E the Chuck E. Cheese's, you got the second Zaktan, you made sure to keep up with all your stuff...
> Kanaya: Try and style your hair like your mom's.
Yeah! That was it! That's what you forgot.
AW DAMMIT! It ALWAYS ends up like this on the other side! Did you even forget why you always wear that bandana?! You mom always tells you that one hair is what "makes you you". Maybe it has something to do with hormones or staying fresh or whatever. All it does to you though is make you feel just terrible.
> Kanaya: Ummm...
Wait. You remember now. Sollux left in a fit. You thought about calling him up or maybe texting him, but you know he wouldn't answer. When he gets riled up, you just can't stop him. He's as dedicated to his cause as Eridan is to watching King of the Hill! ...You really like making fun of Eridan. Bless his heart.
However, you got an idea of who might be tailing him, and that person would be...
> Kanaya: Message Nepeta.
Nepeta's right. You should have eased up on her a little.
You hope everything turns out alright.
Last edited by Weather Report; 03-29-2012 at 05:14 PM.
>Thunder and Lightning: Happen by the Motel/Super 8.
>Dueling Haunting Piano Solos Refrains: Happen by the Motel/Super 8.
>Hey, does all this mean that characters from previous adventures were real too? Like Problem Sleuth? Or did he only get popular by basing characters off of real life? If the former, go see him...