Flip The Fuck Out 7: The Pensieve

[Holly]

My life is a dramatic/romantic soap opera. That must be it. Somebody is planning all this to make me as frustrated/confused as possible.

edit: This is me being a huge bitch so shh

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why do guys, in plural, like me
what is even up
I'm surprised even ONE does
I seriously don't know why
you
like
me
I'm not worth it
stop

edit2: I mean the only two people I've had romantic feelings for have the same birthday
That's like at least an indication of Grade B conspiracy.

[chimaeraUndying]

Logically, if people feel affection towards you, they at least are of the opinion that you are worth said attention. Let it rub off on you, maybe ;

My life is a dramatic/romantic soap opera. That must be it. Somebody is planning all this to make me as frustrated/confused as possible.
edit2: I mean the only two people I've had romantic feelings for have the same birthday
That's like at least an indication of Grade B conspiracy.

In ll likelihood it's an indication of the human brain's amazing ability to take totally unrelated data and correlate it. Interesting coincidence, yes. Conspiracy, nein.

[Selcouth]

@portalboat, I definitely know how you feel as well. Except my parents said they'd stop in college and now I'm in college and they're like NOPE YOU MUST GET ALL A'S AND DO RESEARCH TOO OTHERWISE YOUR ENTIRE CAREER AND LIFE IS SCREWED. Wheee.

[Fish]

re: academics: sounds like your parents might be projecting; they may need to chill out a bit and recognise that high school is really not that important in the long run
I mean I flunked my senior year except for some AP classes and then took the GED and got into like a respectable institution
if you're actually learning stuff don't fret
I would suggest practicing the discipline thing though because it comes in pretty handy
and Do get the AP credit, that shit is like crack

edit2: I mean the only two people I've had romantic feelings for have the same birthday
That's like at least an indication of Grade B conspiracy.

ahahaha I had so much of this bullshit
finding reasons to be Destined
freaky romance jujus
once upon a time I was pretty terrible for that stuff
BUT NOW I'M ALL GROWN UP hahaha no

in other news that are completely different, I sort of feel like I'll never really be a good conversationalist because I'm just way too weird and unrelateable
and everyone looks so normal to me and I don't know how to start a conversation
so I guess I'll just sort of try to try to deny that possibility and carry on with not talking to people anyways

[chimaeraUndying]

Try and find other weird, quirky people to talk to, Fish (like us!). if they're weird and quirky, and you think you're weird and quirky, it should all balance out into a mutually nonweird nonquirky conversation!

[X0ph3roo1]

So apparently I need to get another surgery on my right ear. Aauahhahgh. It's not the surgery itself I'm concerned about; I've been though my fair share; but I already have so many things to worry about, & now !!!!

[Hatman Hatmyth Hatlegend]

Man, it's hard waking up and having concrete proof you'll never amount to anything. It's even worse knowing that unless you cut your own life short you'll have to live with this knowledge for quite some time.

Therapy never worked, anti-depressants require therapy and positive life changes to really help and they involve money I do not have. It's hard to get motivated to do anything when it'll fail if I'm remotely involved and have a better chance of success if I'm not associated with it.

In short, I am the worst person ever.

[Graknorke]

concrete proof you'll never amount to anything.

What concrete proof is this?
Note that the future isn't really easy to predict when it involves people.

[Selcouth]

The future generally isn't easy to predict at all :P anything could happen! (Yay quantum mechanics!) So if you're at the worst point in your life, well, there's 99.999998% chance you only have up to go from here.

[Drillgorg]

Positive flip out! I just got a raise from $10 to $15 per hour! I mean I only work a handful of hours each week since I am a full time student and my hours are completely optional, but this is pretty swell.

[Descriptor]

That's a pretty sweet payrate, not gunna lie.

In other news, I feel really... off today...
Like, I'm having a lot of trouble being especially like conversationally competent lately?
And I'm getting that feeling of sorta really being not very stuff and the like.
And it's making me feel kinda bad about how decently I am at socializing.

Also I have been rambling a whole lot with out any thing close to substance.
It's weird...

[Drillgorg]

Have you tried getting more sleep? That helps me with everything!

[Descriptor]

Have you tried getting more sleep? That helps me with everything!

That's like friggen all what I've been doing lately.
My brain just feels kinda weirdly fuzzy.
While I don't really feel like bad, I feel all bothered and worried and like about I guess life maybe, and like Im just really screwing up at life maybe?
I dunno, I just feel really out of it and I don't know why........

[Hatman Hatmyth Hatlegend]

The future generally isn't easy to predict at all :P anything could happen! (Yay quantum mechanics!) So if you're at the worst point in your life, well, there's 99.999998% chance you only have up to go from here.

Considering all I been doing from high school onwards was fall into an ever deeper, likely bottomless pit, no way that's gonna go up.

[Graknorke]

Considering all I been doing from high school onwards was fall into an ever deeper, likely bottomless pit, no way that's gonna go up.

Could you identify the sort of pit you mean?
There's all sortd of things that could be getting worse for you. It could be something as frustratingly artificial as society as a whole wanting you to behave differently, to potentially deadly like an addiction to hard drugs.

[Varkarrus]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

my month old drawing tablet suddenly has a busted USB port and I can't use it!!!
I dont think I registered my tablet and its already been just a little over 30 days since I bought it!
WHAT DO I DO THIS WILL HAVE BEEN THE SECOND TABLET I BROKED!!!!!!

[Portalboat]

okay so i have a social norms project for psychology
which is basically 'make an idiot out of yourself and record people's reactions'

combine that with me being transgender and NOT wanting to get noticed, positively or negatively and because of this i can barely interact with random people normally AND the fact that it's pretty much the only big grade in the quarter so i'm to get a f if i don't do it

and you've got a recipe for a panic attack milkshake every time i think about it

i was going to talk to my therapist about it but she called in sick today and my next appointment is on the 5th (project is due on the 14th)

i mean what is even the point of this it's stupid

i tried talking to my teacher about it but she's all 'oh i've never given out an alternate for this assignment, you can think of something for shy people like yourself, you'll learn something about yourself, it's not that bad' and bs like that (i didn't tell her i'm trans)

my parents don't see my viewpoint in this so they're like the teacher (they know i'm trans)

the only person that can give me any support on this is my therapist which i can't really use because of above reasons

so what the fuck am i supposed to do here

like this causing me enough stress to distract me from doing my OTHER homework

...i wonder if this counts as an emergency 'cause i've had her cancel on me for that as well

[Frost]

i tried talking to my teacher about it but she's all 'oh i've never given out an alternate for this assignment, you can think of something for shy people like yourself, you'll learn something about yourself, it's not that bad' and bs like that (i didn't tell her i'm trans)

Can you think of something for a shy person like yourself, though? Maybe something online? For example, you could make an account on a relatively formal forum (even this one!) and make constructive posts (especially posts which demand a response, like direct questions to other users), while making heavy use of text-speak and emoticons.

If not, a doctor's note for Social Anxiety would basically oblige them to let you opt out.

In other news, I feel really... off today...
Like, I'm having a lot of trouble being especially like conversationally competent lately?
And I'm getting that feeling of sorta really being not very stuff and the like.
And it's making me feel kinda bad about how decently I am at socializing.

That's like friggen all what I've been doing lately.
My brain just feels kinda weirdly fuzzy.
While I don't really feel like bad, I feel all bothered and worried and like about I guess life maybe, and like Im just really screwing up at life maybe?
I dunno, I just feel really out of it and I don't know why........

Experienced similar years back, which ended up being the earliest symptoms of clinical depression. So, keep an eye out for that, I guess. The increased need for sleep, and the general worry and feelings of failure, are both classic depression symptoms.

Being unable to think straight may be caused by depression/anxiety, but a poor sleep schedule (including too much sleep), poor diet, and physical, mental or social inactivity, is going to make things much worse. I'd try working on that before anything else. If you keep getting these feelings of worry and failure, though, or if they spiral into full-blown black depression, or if these concentration issues stick around for more than a month or two, then that's beyond the reach of self-help, and you really ought to find a therapist.

[Hatman Hatmyth Hatlegend]

Could you identify the sort of pit you mean?
There's all sortd of things that could be getting worse for you. It could be something as frustratingly artificial as society as a whole wanting you to behave differently, to potentially deadly like an addiction to hard drugs.

If it was precise, I'd have mentioned it. Can't get a proper job to get the fuck out of here. Not getting the fuck out of here means being stuck in a town that I absolutely hate (between the lack of anything to do for anyone 18-35 who isn't a fucking asshole douchebag and the ever-increasing exodus of people I actually like for greener pastures I have no reason to stay here). Not getting a proper job means lack of money to actually end up in therapy which I sorely need, anti-depressants which, when I was last in therapy they decided I didn't need but I may end up needing them now, etc. Also lack of money to frequent a gym which, though I may not be as bad as I made it seem earlier, would still be better than not doing it, etc.

[Selcouth]

okay so i have a social norms project for psychology
which is basically 'make an idiot out of yourself and record people's reactions'

Like someone said above, would you be comfortable doing so online? (assuming that's allowed)
Can you email or call your therapist?

I'm kind of curious about this assignment, what exactly are you supposed to do? Like, what is an example of what someone might do for this assignment?

[X0ph3roo1]

My mom's making me go on this camp out this weekend. She says its because I'm 'antisocial', a word she uses way too much!
I'd tell her that I talk to plenty if people here, but she's old, & suspicious about that kind of stuff. gaggavavab!
Edit: nevermine, turns out I don't have to go because I wasn't registered or something

[Portalboat]

Like someone said above, would you be comfortable doing so online? (assuming that's allowed)
Can you email or call your therapist?

I'm kind of curious about this assignment, what exactly are you supposed to do? Like, what is an example of what someone might do for this assignment?

One of the videos we saw was (granted, this was an extreme, but still) two girls going around slapping random people's butts.
So yeah. Not comfortable with doing stuff like that, really. Personal space is a thing, y'know?

[Selcouth]

One of the videos we saw was (granted, this was an extreme, but still) two girls going around slapping random people's butts.
So yeah. Not comfortable with doing stuff like that, really. Personal space is a thing, y'know?

Ah. That kind of thing. Yeah, that's generally tough for shy people. Are you allowed to do some sort of experiment online?

[Blueberry]

What about wearing a mask?

[Softspoken]

Wear incredibly formal clothing everywhere Like A Sir, insist it's normal, and record people's reactions?

You can break the norm by being incredibly dignified. Not just proud, but refined.