OMNIA: Chapter 8: Three Unwise Men

[thetoastking]

"You could've just said no..."

But then you'd miss out on all this lovely talking, my dear Namean compadre! I haven't chatted up a storm like this in a long time!

"why ice? wouldnt water be more.. popular?"

You'd think, wouldn't you? But a long time ago, the god of water signed an accord with the new god of ice in order to combine their Beings, at least, according to the scrolls. You see, the god of water was weakening. It hadn't been believed in for a long time, and was fading fast. Some Miracle class gods attempted to usurp the weakened deity, but in the end, Yuggut signed an accord and fused it's being with it, claiming over it's Zone of Influence, keeping it alive. Nobody knows why, or how it did this, but it's just how it is.

"If only the Allfather was born of faith, how are other gods born?"

Same way. Any god can be created, even ones that shouldn't exist.

Long ago, in the distant past, there was a wealthy safari captain, aptly named Safari Joe. Unfortunately, I can't tell you the details of the deity known as Safari Joe, other than his name, and perhaps his description. You see, Safari Joe found a loophole in the system of causality one day, and, well.... Things just haven't been the same since. It's best if you keep him out of your mind, forget I even mentioned it. But really, you all should get to bed, it's getting late and I must be heading back to my domain, I haven't artificed an environment for my creations in such a long time, people'll think i'm neglecting them.

[Askia]

"nice to meet ya"

>stare into the fire for no reason

"..."

[Travosh]

Ahh Safari Joe. Such a good man to think about unceasingly eh mortals?

[Xander]

"Wait... What? Who are you?"

[thetoastking]

"Wait... What? Who are you?"

Heh. Well! That's the million dollar question now isn't it? I get this question a lot, but before I do, allow me to propose one final question of my own...

Are you absolutely sure you'd like to know who I am? You may not like what you hear...

[Xander]

"I've heard alot and seen alot recently that I don't like. I'm pretty sure what you have to say won't make anything worse..."

[Adept]

Sure, why not! Unless it ends up destroying the universe or something.

[Travosh]

Definitely need to know, definitely should ask.

[thetoastking]

"I've heard alot and seen alot recently that I don't like. I'm pretty sure what you have to say won't make anything worse..."

Worse? ... No. I'm going to make you see something... Mortifying. Scenery Change.

The world drains of color. The people sitting near you seem to stop instantaneously, as though nothing was causing them to move. The world, the air, everything feels... Stopped. The only thing that seems to have survived this great stopping was your group, the gods, and the now-standing monarch, buzzing with what seems to be raw power.
I would not advise running. Nothing can progress at this moment in time, because we are no longer in it. I have... Stopped the simulation, as it is. You see, I am what you would call... A blacksmith. A god. A fletcher and a woodsmith. But in reality, I am far more. I am a World Artificer.

This is my domain. My personal carving out of space-time, far beyond the reaches of anyone except who I accept. This is where I create. This is where I destroy. You are all my creations. Your essence was sent to me in the forms of suggestions, and, after consideration, I brought you into reality with a flick of my wrist. Your childhood, your talents, your families... Mine. In this domain, I Am Everything.

With one hand, I can create the most wonderful objects you can set your eyes upon. I can manufacture weapons that defy all logical explanation. I twist objects perpetually around each other for the sake of the plot. You are all characters in my grand charade, mere atoms upon the grand picture. I can send you to your dooms if it would advance my story. With each word from my mouth my power grows, crafting more and more intricate stories, raising my ability to leap in and out of my own creations, to bring them far out of where they belong, just to prove a point. On the other hand...

Is a quill, designed only to eliminate and cause malice. I can blow off your arms, legs, and external limbs, making you as useless as you are making Job, then bring you back together to no harm. You are all pieces. You are not unique. Your free will is a LIE, told to you over and over again, in the prospect of making you believe you actually have any kind of choice in the matter.
Your limbs seem to crawl back onto you and sew themselves back on with no seam.
Do you understand, now, how sad this can be? To find out that you are not real? To find you are an imaginary figment inside of my imagination, fueled by someone with a higher intelligence than you? This is me. This is Who I Am. I am The Toast King. I am the World Artificer. I am your gods' gods' God. I am the reason you can touch your arm and feel. I am the reason you will never find love. I am the reason you all will perish in deaths of varying pain, eventually. Now... Since you can see the world for what it is, I know you will do all you can to ruin it. You will attempt to find freedom where there is none. Therefore... I must remove all memory of this from the lot of you. You will never know the grand truth.

[Travosh]

Why do that? Its oodles more fun watching it all unfold with us all knowing there is nothing we can do about it!

[Askia]

"then why did you even bother to show us from the start?"
...
thoughts:"freedom doesnt exist"

[flyingBrick]

- "Uh... Ok."

A bit showy, don't you think?

[Adept]

Yeah why even do that if your just going to erase the memories?

[Sinjin]

"The guys have a point. Why bother? And how far does the line go anyway? Does that mean you are a puppet too? YAY PUPPET PALS!"

[The Idea Master]

"He did it for us"
the gods and at the same tim the readers of TTK's grand narrative, its al for us, everything that has ever happened for our enjoyment, and nothing else!WAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

now go ahead and

[thetoastking]

"then why did you even bother to show us from the start?"
...
thoughts:"freedom doesnt exist"

Yeah why even do that if your just going to erase the memories?

"He did it for us"
the gods and at the same tim the readers of TTK's grand narrative, its al for us, everything that has ever happened for our enjoyment, and nothing else!WAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

now go ahead and

Essentially, this, but not entirely. I gain power the more I create. This conversation, in fact, has not happened at all except in this stretch of spacetime. But, I've had a godawful day at work, and feel like being needlessly hilarious in order to bolster my own spirit. I'm going to let you all ask me one question, then, I will let only one of you remember this conversation.

It'll be amusing watching you try to convince your comrades you aren't totally insane, speaking about a worldbuilding hunk of toast with a mustache. Also, it'll lead me into the right segment to send you four flying over to your first destination. Everything has a purpose, and a purpose for everything.

Cept some things.

[Askia]

thoughts:"if i ask something important but i wont be the one to remember it... better ask something stupid to be safe"

"Whats the point of it all?"

[Travosh]

You're my kind of world artificer your... Wheatesty?

[Adept]

What things don't have a purpose?

[Sinjin]

"... I'll ask the question once everyone else is done asking."

[flyingBrick]

- "Hm... Interesting. Alright, here's my question: What is the most reliable method to locate and acquire the crystals Jack tasked us with recovering?"

[thetoastking]

You're my kind of world artificer your... Wheatesty?

Well, thanks I suppose. Good to know I have a fan in the god of hilariously bad ideas.

What things don't have a purpose?

I like this question. It ties in nicely with a statement I'm going to make in just a moment. Hold tight.

"... I'll ask the question once everyone else is done asking."

Suit yourself man. I'll be sending you back soon though, this temporal pause is ruining any sense of progression.

- "Hm... Interesting. Alright, here's my question: What is the most reliable method to locate and acquire the crystals Jack tasked us with recovering?"

Oh ho ho, you're the clever one, aren't you? Well my friend, since you asked so nicely, I'll answer your question with a quote from the great Carl Sagan.
If one wishes to make an apple pie from scratch, One must first invent the universe.
Alternatively, you'd have to find some kind of way to modify reality so you already knew where the crystals were. But, ha ha! That's pretty much impossible. I'd just settle for asking people nicely and using your unique skill sets to find things out.

thoughts:"if i ask something important but i wont be the one to remember it... better ask something stupid to be safe"

"Whats the point of it all?"

What's the point of it all? WHAT'S THE POINT OF IT ALL?! oh man this is such a big question I'm going to have to take you miscreants through time. Strap on your boots and swallow your protein pills kiddies, we're heading back into the past to teach you a lesson. Our first stop?

OMNICLOPIA, Circa 3 Years in the past for me, about... Oh, I think 10,000 for you guys? I think that's about when this occurred. You see, this is the epic scene for the final boss fight between william and the creator. He got here through teamwork, dedication, self sacrifice, and... He knew what the point of his existence was. Ask yourself. Why did he defeat the creator and free the world? What was the point of all that he did? Shh. Don't answer that yet. Just take it in. Sorry about the fuzz. My power signature changes from time to time, and, at this moment, I wasn't very powerful. ANYWAYS, MOVING ON. FAST FORWARD SOME 4,000 YEARS OR SO!

FORGER! About 2 years in the past, 5,000 for you guys. Skitella Pierce has obtained unlimited power and now confronts your common enemy, Dius, in a (I admit) poorly rendered panel. She gave up everything to get here. Her identity. Her virtues. She consumed the spirit of her evil brother and used it's power in order to get here. She had to become a GOD in order to succeed. Why? What was this all for? Why would she let go of so much, die many times, go through so much pain in order to stop dius from claiming the planet for the first time? ... Exactly. She knew what the purpose of it all was. Moving on, finally, And I do hope jack doesn't get too pissy about this, but...

Jack. Idaeus. The Destroyer. The current ruler of the universe, Circa 100 years ago, 1 year for me. He has defeated an anonymous enemy (and by god he will stay anonymous) in fair combat, drawing enough blood to awaken TOR, the sword of the universe, in order to stop a catastrophic meltdown of the entire universe. His actions throughout his entire journey enabled him and his friends to now assume control of capital cities around the world, bringing things to where we are now. Why would he do this? Why did he change his identity so many times for your sakes? Why did he climb the world's tallest mountain in order to claim a lost power, given up by a forgotten party? Because he KNEW.

The point of it all, my dear...
The world vanishes yet again, switching back to what seems to be the entrance of the camp, at sunrise.
Is that there is no set purpose. The real purpose of life is what you make of it. You can be a hero if you'd like, and that shall be your purpose. To save. To live. To be a mother or father. To collect all the pokemon in the world. To be entertained by these antics. To render these things on a digital medium for others to enjoy, such as I do now. Life is only the lie you will give it. Find your purpose by taking it to you, not letting it come. Nothing has been accomplished by faffing about with your head stuck in the sand. Except suffocating. That got accomplished. Poor ostriches.

Do you understand, now, why I have to make you forget? You can't be told what the truth is. Your comprehension is limited to this world. Your true purpose would be skewed, no longer set on a string of fabric and let loose like you were before.

[Adept]

Welp, guess that's that. Gotta get to the memory removal now.

[Travosh]

Let the atronarch be the one who keeps the memories of the answer! Horrific killing machine, skewed sense of purpose. Recipe for delicious cake.

[Sinjin]

"Har de har har. Anyway i guess i'll ask since you don't seem to be giving the direct truth... that and you probably shouldn't spoil the question that is bugging me IF it truly destroys my drive to stop "The Corrupt God" or whatever. So i'll ask you something which will probably have a stupid answer or breaks it all. Are you absolutely sure you control EVERYTHING?