This thread is to post the logs of our adventures (which were started here) both for people who are part of the RP but who were absent at the time, and for everyone else so they can get hyped about this! I am basically compiling everything and editing it to fit an "MSPA" format, but it should be noted that at no point are words put into players mouths and that only a minimal amount of their dialogue gets cut, usually for expediency. Remember though, even though it appears like suggestions are a possible thing, they aren't. Anything that gets put here is put up some time after things were RP'd!
Cast:
Crew:
MMORPGSTUCK
A fine GENTLEMAN stands in his room next to a pile of various assorted liquors. Today, JUNE 8TH, 2011, isn't his BIRTHDAY. That was months ago. What shall we call him?
Shi-
No. No we're not doing every stupid little RUNNING GAG. There's way too many of you for that. Let's try something helpful, DICKWEED. Actually, no. Let's just ask the "little" guy himself what he wants to be named.
VC: I have a name already. It's Jason Creed.
Oh. Well. There we go then. Your name is JASON CREED. As an ADULT HUMAN OF THE MALE PERSUASION,some might refer to you as an OVERGROWN MAN-CHILD. You hold a vast knowledge of FIREARMS AND MILITARY TECHNOLOGY, some talent for ARTIVE CRAP of all varieties, and a notably escapist passion for VIDEO GAMES that led you to acquire a college degree in ARTIVE CRAP FOR VIDEO GAMES.
You like FIGHTING but you try to maintain a stance of outward pacifism to keep yourself from landing in jail. People frequently make the assumption that you're REALLY INTO ANIME because of the way you act and dress, but you're not. I mean, kind of. But not really. Your bleak, shittily drawn LIVING ROOM is DEPRESSINGLY MONOTONE and littered with RANDOM CRAP.
Given your degree in ARTIVE CRAP FOR VIDEO GAMES, you were very curious about a game called SBURB that never made it out of Beta testing. You have been trying to get ahold of a copy of the Beta for months because you lost your JOB so you have nothing better to do, except goof off on pesterchum. Your chumhandle is vengeanceCreed and you emphasize some letters -(v)-ery oddly.
So, what will you do?
Jason: Scream like a howler monkey and fill your liquor with a "special" ingredient.
...
Yeah we're gonna be someone else if you won't be useful.
========>
You are now this DUDE over here. And you're on PROBATION from offering suggestions, SHITSTAIN, so I'll be filling in the names. Your name is CAMERON DAVIS. You don’t really have a preferred nickname, but if people call you CAM, you think that’s perfectly fine. You are 17 YEARS OF AGE, and you are currently a SENIOR in HIGH SCHOOL, and tend to ENJOY THE WONDEROUS NATURAL SIGHTS AND VALUABLE EXPERIENCES EACH DAY BRINGS. You realize you are YOUNG and have a WEALTH OF LIFE TO EXPERIENCE, and are OCCASIONALLY UNSURE ABOUT YOURSELF.
You have a plethora of things that STRIKE YOUR FANCY, each of them equal and dear to your person. You have a KEEN APPETITE FOR KNOWLEDGE, always ready and willing to acquire information. Not surprisingly, you are also an AVID READER, and are always on the lookout for INTERESTING PIECES OF LITERATURE; you are also open to suggestions concerning the next book you’ll read. You have a HEALTHY ENJOYMENT OF NATURE, and are always appreciative of the BEAUTY AND INSPIRATION it provides, especially when the INSPIRATION comes from your BELOVED DOG. Your love of MUSIC is readily apparent; you’ve engaged in BROADENING YOUR MUSICAL PALATE in your free time.
You enjoy holding conversations with all of your wonderful compatriots via PESTERCHUM, and strive to regularly keep yourself as AMICABLE AS POSSIBLE, even when you are in a FOUL MOOD, which is RARE FOR A PERSON SUCH AS YOURSELF. Your chumhandle is unbiasedCompatriot and you speak, with your shockingly deep voice, in a manner befitting your person; calm, cool, and collected. Soon, you will play a much lauded game with three other of your close allies, and together you will embark on a journey of epic proportions, one which will surely culminate in a triumphant victory. For now, however, you aren’t playing the game.
What will you do?
Cameron: Retrieve arms.
Arms? Like, weapons? Do you even HAVE weapons in your room? Does ANYONE have weapons in their room?
...Wait. You're on PROBATION. If you can't stay quiet with this DUDE, we'll just have to move onto the next one.
========>
You're now this guy. Your name is WILL BROOKS. You have a number of interests. One of your interests is writing and performing MUSIC, and a number of your instruments, including your BASS, GUITAR, and CELLO are scattered about your room haphazardly. You also enjoy taking part in POOR ORGANIZATION. It is one of your favorite activities. Actually, it is not an activity, but a weakness of yours. Sometimes you can't even keep your own thoughts in any sort of recognizable order.
An activity you actually do enjoy is WRITING. You have spent many an afternoon scratching away in one of your many CREATIVE WRITING NOTEBOOKS with a DIXON TICONDEROGA NUMBER TWO GRAPHITE WOOD PENCIL, your favorite writing implement. You keep many boxes of this pencil, unsharpened, in your room at all times, and several, sharpened, on your person. Additionally, you are fascinated by SCIENCE, and are majoring in COGNITIVE SCIENCES as well as in MUSIC.
In an attempt to counter your poor organization, and also your belief that we should all apply the rigorous procedures of science to our everyday lives, you use your favorite pencils to take notes of OBSERVATIONS that you make on a number of CLIPBOARDS. Because of your poor organization and generally un-rigorous attitude, these notes are in more disarray than most people have ever seen anything in. Seriously, you are a mess of a young man.
Your chumhandle is chaoticEmpiricist and sometimes, whan you get excited, your bran can movre faster nan yor mouth. *sometimes; when; brain; move; than your. Speaking of things that get you excited, today you will be playing a game with three of your closest internet acquaintances. The whisperings of the interwebs tell you it will have strange reality-warping properties, and you would love to see them up clase and collect data. *close.
What will you do?
Will: Play haunting cello refrain.
Naturally, the only sensible thing to do is goof off with playing MUSIC. But that'll take time, so we'll move onto someone else. Thanks for putting in a suggestion that isn't DOOMED to DISGUST everyone, though.
========>
You're now this LOSER. Your name is JEREMY JAEGERS. When you’re not procrastinating on the internet, you spend countless hours watching ALL SORTS OF MOVIES and collecting MEMORABILIA related to them. Your inexistent taste in movies means you enjoy them all, though you have a particular fondness for CULT CLASSICS and REALLY OLD MOVIES. You also maintain a number of SHITTY SPACE WASTERS, most notably TOY ROBOTS, KNIGHTS and BIRDS.
Your chumhandle is rampagingGeneral and you like to use go on and on for quite some time about things, and tend to use British spellings, which only increases the labour you put into typing ...
Right now you are casually browsing the internet while listening to some noisy GUITAR DRIVEN MUSIC, probably wasting time at the expense of more important things, like playing a game with THREE FRIENDS.
What will you do?
Results 1 to 25 of 262
Thread: MMORPGStuck Logs
-
02-06-2012, 06:46 PM #1Heir of Blood
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Fairbanks, AK
- Pronouns
- he/him/his
- Posts
- 3,934
MMORPGStuck Logs
Last edited by ashdenej; 04-23-2012 at 05:18 AM.
-
02-06-2012, 06:48 PM #2Heir of Blood
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Fairbanks, AK
- Pronouns
- he/him/his
- Posts
- 3,934
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
EDIT: Cast:
Crew:
Jeremy: Pester your friends.
You are now JASON again. Because I hate you.
Fine. Jason: Pester your friends.
Sigh. The internet again? Sometimes you feel like it's the same routine; you wake up, you talk to people, you get drunk, you sleep for ages, and you don't ever dream. Seriously. This sucks. But without a JOB, what else is there?
It just so happens that two of your friends are ONLINE: anathemeFisher and masterTriangle.
Jason: Pester anathemeFisher.
First, you pour yourself some BOOZE. Then you PESTER.
Pesterlog:
solipsisticSurvivor is totally online right now.
Jason: Pester masterTriangle.
Yeah, SS can probably wait. Can't be important AT ALL.
Pesterlog:
Jason: Pester solipsisticSurvivor.
What, this unimportant guy? Why would anyone talk to him? You'll finish this DRINK first. And pour ANOTHER ONE.
Pesterlog:
Jason: Go outside to mailbox.
One of the nicer things about living ALONE is that no one else is going to take your mail. You remove your DUSTER for the time being, but we all know that you'll just be putting it back on the instant you get back in the room. The heat will not interfere with your looking FUCKING AWESOME, dammit.
The MAILBOX is at the end of the drive, and sure enough someone has delivered something. Sadly, when you open it, you see a bunch of DUMB MAIL and a tiny note. A PACKAGE is at the POST OFFICE, waiting to be delivered. They would have just given it to you directly normally, so you must have been PASSED OUT when the mail arrived. Luckily, this will be a short journey.
Jason: Tear ass to the post office.
You TEAR ASS at a SENSIBLE and LEGAL speed of 25 MPH in your CAR. With your HEADLIGHTS on, because it's almost NIGHT and even though you're probably RIDICULOUSLY BUZZED you will be vaguely responsible about this whole thing. Because of your sudden FLIRTATION with being a reasonable human being, you arrive at the post office just as it closes. You can see your PACKAGE being all TANTALIZING through the window.
Jason: Talk to the mailman dude who is locking up.
You think he's a POSTMASTER GENERAL or something like that. His name is MIKE.
Talklog:
He pulls out a LETTER OPENER. This can't be LEGAL.
Jason: Who cares?! Fight back!
Obviously. You employ GIANTBLADEKIND, the weapon of choice for FUTURE PARAPLEGICS. You allocated this when you were DRUNK one day, and your lack of EMPLOYMENT made it difficult to buy a new card to employ some sort of GUNKIND. The only GIANT BLADE you have is basically a WOODEN ANIME REPLICA, which means it is SHITTY AS ALL FUCK. And heavily embarrassing. But perhaps intimidation will win the day.
Wait, no, he just pulled out a second LETTER OPENER. He means some SERIOUS BUSINESS.
Pre-STRIFE banter:
...you think he has the upper hand there.
Jason: Faint in fright.
Imma gonna pretend you said FEINT. Which you do. Though you charge forward, you use the inherently WEAPONAZIABLE aspect of your REVOLVER SYLLADEX to shoot something out of one of your SIX CARDS in the hopes that it damages him.
A POCKET KNIFE shoots out, but is auto-parry'd by the MAILMAN. It goes FLYING off in some direction you don't notice, and is probably LOST FOREVER. Fuck. You liked that POCKET KNIFE. In rage, you charge forward for a powerful ASSAULT, and are met by a similar CHARGE. The two of you meet in MID-AIR, and the MAILMAN goes flying backward because seriously the INERTIA of your FORTY POUND SWORD is ridiculous.
Acting quickly to take ADVANTAGE of the situation, you leap up into the air and drive your blade downward. The MAILMAN rolls out of the way, looks at you in TERROR, and runs the fuck away, dropping the MAIL KEY in the process.
Jason: Captchalogue mail key.
Done. Oh, and look, your POCKET KNIFE is right here on the ground next to it. Carefully you spin your MODUS to an open card, and captchalogue the KNIFE. If you hadn't done this, the KEY would have been ejected from your SYLLADEX at a very high speed.
You then run up to the POST OFFICE and unlock it, because not everything has to be a FEDERAL FUCKING ISSUE. Not even the Federal Postal Service, apparently, since you get your PACKAGE will relative ease, expelling the KEYS into the back room of the post office. Whoops.
Jason: Hurry home and let SS know you were victorious.
You return home, run upstairs, and return to PESTERCHUM. It seems SS ranted at you for awhile while you were gone.
Pesterlog:
Jason: Shouldn't you open that package at some point?
Oh yeah! You tear it open, reach in and retrieve...
????????????????
A HELL OF A LOT OF BOTTLES OF ALCOHOL. FUCK Y-
Wait. This isn't what you wanted. You suddenly understand jack shit.
Pesterlog:
Jason: Inspect the bottles.
You're pretty sure these aren't your GAME and never were. But no hard loss. Still worth fighting for.
Pesterlog:
Looks like Jason isn't an important character at all! Let's take a look at someone else then.Last edited by Legendary; 07-21-2012 at 02:41 PM.
-
02-06-2012, 06:49 PM #3Heir of Blood
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Fairbanks, AK
- Pronouns
- he/him/his
- Posts
- 3,934
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
EDIT: Cast:
Crew:
Jason: Be Cameron.
You are now CAMERON again.
Cameron: Look out of your window and enjoy the scenery.
HELL YES! You absolutly LOVE nature as stated earlier, you waste a good couple minutes enjoying the MIRACLE that is nature.
Cameron: Wait, fuck. Do something useful instead.
You realize that you've wasted a good few minutes admiring NATURE, and immediately start getting back to your previous task: getting on your computer and checking Pesterchum for any of your online associates. So.. you walk to your COMPUTER, and after taking a seat and finishing the startup process, proceed to open PESTERCHUM. It seems that masterTriangle, tangentSniper, and foolishWhisper are online.
Wait. TS just marked himself as busy. He must have started up that game thing.
Cameron: Pester foolishWhisper.
You decide on pestering foolishWhisper, to see if you can coax an emotion or two out of her today.
Pesterlog:
Well, conversing with her is always a pleasure, and by pleasure, you mean a MONUMENTAL TASK, akin to the titan Atlas carrying the world on his back. Well, okay it's not that bad, but honestly, you wish there was an opportunity to instill a sense of CAMARADERIE into her. You feel as though she could use a close friend by her side.
Cameron: Pester masterTriangle.
You might as well. The guy you intend to play with still isn't on yet. You hope this doesn't develop into a theme.
Pesterlog:
That was a much more enjoyable conversation. But any conversation would be more enjoyable than one with Aren. You check your chumroll and see that uncleverTitle is online. You believe that PESTERING him would be a good idea, so you do just that.
I'm just being led around by the nose here, aren't I?
Yeah pretty much. This is no fanventure.
Pesterlog:
Cameron: Hear something.
The noise of a VEHICLE pulling up is heard outside your window.
Pesterlog:
Last edited by Legendary; 02-29-2012 at 05:01 PM.
-
02-06-2012, 06:50 PM #4Heir of Blood
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Fairbanks, AK
- Pronouns
- he/him/his
- Posts
- 3,934
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
EDIT: Cast:
Crew:
Cameron: Show us your STRIFEKIND specibus.
Cameron can't do that because you're suddenly WILL! With no one to appreciate the sounds of your CELLO, you eventually grow tired of this and decide to pursue something more constructive, like equipping a pair of FRESHLY SHARPENED PENCILS. PENCILKIND is not the most practical choice in the world, but you find that it's imperative you can switch from NOTE-TAKING to the SLAUGHTER OF YOUR ENEMIES as quickly as possible. Especially if what you're trying to take notes on proves to be hostile. Still though, your room is devoid of threats for now. Unless you're hiding something?
Will: Research SBURB to find out things about it.
It turns out there isn't a lot known about it! There aren't even WALKTHROUGHS. You will have to FIELD TEST it yourself. If you can ever find your discs.
Fuck. Will: Search for discs.
A thorough investigation of your room proves FRUITLESS, which is quite irksome. Despite the lack of evidence so far, you are NOT an ABSENT-MINDED PROFESSOR. You are normally quite good at remembering things. Honestly.
Will: Remember what you forgot.
You suddenly REMEMBER you were supposed to pester CT today!
Pesterlog:
Will: Investigate bathroom.
You cross the HALLWAY and enter your BATHROOM, which is a little messy because of the KITCHEN SINK DEBACLE. You really should clean that, it's been a WEEK. This room is also more normal than the rest, since the SCIENCE PARAPHENALIA is limited to posters. You check everywhere: the sink, the shower, the toilet bowl, the cabinets, etc. No such luck. You would check in the TOWELS, but all of them are missing. You'd like to blame a LAUNDRY THIEF, but you cannot.
Will: Check out the kitchen.
Despite your hesitance to turn your BATHROOM into a LABORATORY OF SCIENCE, your restraint hasn't fully extended into the place where you PREPARE food. One section of the kitchen is devoted to chemistry, mostly for fun. The rest of it however, remains somewhat normal, though you feel that not everything is QUITE where you left it. A POLYMER that you were experimenting with in the lab is CONGEALING nicely. All of the other PETRI DISHES have things in them too. Another round of SUCCESS for SCIENCE. You give yourself a hearty clap on the back, and wonder if you need to worry about keeping that somewhere safe.
Nah!
If people worried about safety in science, where would we be?
A good question! You decide to leave your materials where they are then. This probably won't come back to haunt you later.
Schizolog:
You can't see the DISCS anywhere out in the open, which makes you all the more curious as to where you left them.
Will: Proceed to front room.
Rather than look more thoroughly, you just go onto the front room. The front room is basically a GLORIFIED ENTRY HALL, but it has a very nice TELESCOPE stored here for when you want to turn your attention SKYWARD.The table by the front door has your KEYS on it, but not any discs.
Fine. Will: Return to the kichen.
You proceed into the kitchen, which is kept SPOTLESS (due to the risk of CHEMICAL CONTAMINATION, admittedly, but still SPOTLESS). However, your polymer is acting a little... Oddly. It is somewhat DISPLACED, and is making strange SQUISHING SOUNDS and on top of that it's BUBBLING unpleasantly You're pretty sure POLYMERS shouldn't be doing this.
Will: Retrieve paper, take notes.
You pick a piece of PAPER off the floor and take NOTES.
Notelog:
The BUBBLING subsides suddenly.
Will: Take sample.
You grab a SCALPEL from the equipment rack and get a small amount of the POLYMER. You examine it briefly under a MICROSCOPE and discover that there are CRYSTALLINE STRUCTURES forming, but otherwise nothing of interest is occuring. Since the other PETRI DISHES are in use, you attempt to CAPTCHALOGUE the sample with your CONCEPTUALIZATION MODUS, which mostly requires you to be able to CONCENTRATE to pull things out of it.
A brief moment later, the SAMPLE is assigned to one card. You see in another card are the SBURB DISCS. They were there the whole time!Last edited by Legendary; 02-09-2012 at 03:23 PM.
-
02-06-2012, 06:51 PM #5Heir of Blood
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Fairbanks, AK
- Pronouns
- he/him/his
- Posts
- 3,934
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
EDIT: Cast:
Crew:
Will: Burn discs, send a pair to Jason.
You, JEREMY, have no clue what any of these thoughts are about. Bad Jeremy! Be reasonable! Anyway, you were about to pester your buddy, tangentSniper, remember? That was the last command you received.
Pesterlog:
Jeremy: Download the game.
You hit the DOWNLOAD button. You are informed that it finished downloading almost immediately.
Pesterlog:
Jeremy: Inspect room fully.
You look around the room angrily, checking for any HIDDEN CAMERAS or other such bullshit. This is not cool. But you find nothing.
Pesterlog:
TS: Fuck with your client player.
You picks up the bed and hold it a couple feet off the floor. This is enough MIND-FUCKERY for now. Save the cooler stuff for later.
Pesterlog:
TS: Drop it.
It falls to the floor with a BANG. Jeremy looks ready to have PALPITATIONS.
Pesterlog:
Last edited by Legendary; 02-09-2012 at 03:23 PM.
-
02-06-2012, 07:33 PM #6Knight of Wrath
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
- Location
- Land of Steel and Havoc
- Posts
- 379
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
This is coming along BRILLIANTLY. A really fantastic read.
-
02-06-2012, 07:35 PM #7bustin-bustin-bustin-bustin-
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
- Location
- Can Town
- Posts
- 1,726
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
A post to praise Legendary's posting prowess/the quality of everyone's contributions so far/ease Legendary's insecurity of infinite consecutive posts.
Click below for Dancin' Lil' Seb, The WV Folder and other stuff.
VV Do it. VV
-
02-06-2012, 07:35 PM #8True of Faxx
- Join Date
- Mar 2011
- Location
- Just out of your vision at all times.
- Pronouns
- she/her
- Posts
- 4,341
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
You people and your shenanigans.
So excellent.Sigquotes, my Soundcloud, and folders for Kanaya, the Derse Siblings, and General-JWJ's SBaHJ-style comics below!
This is what's up with the colorful candycorns. Don't see one suited for you? ADD IT.
-
02-06-2012, 07:35 PM #9I don't put up with this BS
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
- Location
- The Land of Sea to Sea
- Posts
- 168
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
Haha im lovin this shit more than mcds. Saying this as if I was a fucking retard
(Joke from the IRC for all you who do not go on there)
-
02-06-2012, 07:45 PM #10The dnagres fo alcol
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
- Location
- Land of Sunshine and Oranges
- Posts
- 711
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
Certainly one of the most enjoyable things I've been able to do; everyone's accomplished some fantastic work!
And all the props to Legendary for formatting this in such a great way!Last edited by Velmen; 02-06-2012 at 07:56 PM.
Chumhandle: haughtyCompatriot
-
02-06-2012, 07:45 PM #11incredible Username
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
- Location
- In one place per continually changing instant of time.
- Posts
- 2,078
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
Okay, so this is awesome. Way better than I was expecting it to turn out. And I had some moderate to high hopes.
So I can go ahead and assure everyone, at least one 4th of this gets even better. Though I have a feeling that's also true for all of it.
(As though anyone actually thought otherwise.)
Edit: Yes, so very, very creative. :PLast edited by Unclever title; 02-06-2012 at 08:12 PM.
-
02-06-2012, 07:56 PM #12Guard of Peace
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
- Location
- Liège, Belgium.
- Posts
- 655
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
> Legendary spends the whole log making fun of me
I'm 0kay with this.
Yep, this thing is starting out very nicely. The dual letter opener wielding postman made my night I might add. (DAMN IS IT ALREADY 3AM)
Seeing all the logs the others did before installing the game I feel kind of bad for not having done a few more though :[
-
02-06-2012, 07:58 PM #13Bec Noir is an Adorable Puppy
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
- Location
- The Cutest Murderpuppy
- Posts
- 1,811
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
This is so wonderful. Also schizolog.
Last edited by Paradoxius; 02-06-2012 at 08:01 PM.
-
02-06-2012, 09:05 PM #14Sage of Hope
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
- Location
- Land of Mountains and Labyrinths
- Posts
- 663
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
<<<I believe this is satisfactory.
My chumhandle is insaneGamer. I'm not always on, but message me sometime!
-
02-06-2012, 09:11 PM #15I don't put up with this BS
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
- Location
- The Land of Sea to Sea
- Posts
- 168
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
NO, It will never be good enough for a masterpiece of this magnitude.
Originally Posted by Superdog
<<<I believe this is satisfactory.
-
02-06-2012, 09:15 PM #16Go with the Flow
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
- Location
- Land of Space and Cotton Candy
- Posts
- 2,873
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
I somehow didn't even notice that you guys disucssed Aren after her first appearance.
All-in-all, though, an excellent read so far, and can't wait for the next bit to be completed.
-
02-06-2012, 09:25 PM #17Heir of Blood
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Fairbanks, AK
- Pronouns
- he/him/his
- Posts
- 3,934
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
Cast:
Crew:
Jeremy: Stop playing before it's too late.
JEREMY deactivates himself. You are now JASON again.
...okay yeah JEREMY is still activated, because he's a human, not a robot. But that's beside the point!
Jason? I thought you were a red herring.
THAT was the RED HERRING. Anyway we'll never get anything done with you giving off orders, so we'll see how that conversation was going.
But first, JASON pours himself MORE LIQUORS.
Pesterlog:
Jason: Download the client.
Obviously. What's your next stupid command? Bluh let's run the installation program? Of course you're going to fucking do that. You've done it already. Why don't you go sit over there while the ADULTS are talking? You shouldn't be around Jason when he's drinking alcohol anyway. He just poured another GLASS. Seriously. His liver will explode soon. You'll die if you're too close.
Programlog:
...shouldn't those OPTIONS only be things if the game is already installed?
Pesterlog:
Jason: Click reinstall.
Just in case, you guess?
Programlog:
Well that was POINTLESS.
Pesterlog:
Jason: Open the disk tray.
To protect your BEAUTIFUL FACE, you do as you are told. Then you notice the weird thing: Your computer has a SBURB LOGO on its optic drive.
You can't handle this shit. You go back to drinking. Also, you run the BD-ROM DRIVE (
) - SBURB_CLIENT.~ATH file that your computer apparently has. A bunch of random shit loads in the background.
Pesterlog:
========>
Your chat is interrupted.
Programlog:
You boggle vacantly at this SHENANIGAN.
Pesterlog:
SS: Drive your client player insane.
You pick up one of the MANY GUNS lying around and wave it about like a maniac. Nothing could possibly go wrong!
Jason recoils in TERROR, and quickly begins typing.
Pesterlog:
========>
You continue to move things around like a BASTARD, and drive Jason to DRINK. Not that that's a difficult task. Though in this case, you have utterly destroyed his WORLDVIEW. Congratulations. You've broken a player and we're not even in the MEDIUM yet.
Why are you such a monster?
Pesterlog:
Jason: PANIC!
Way ahead of you! You charge across your room, swearing like a maniac. You have a wonderful SMUDGING STICK that will remove all the EVIL INFLUENCES in this roo-
No wait you trip and fall on your FACE instead, freaked out by the door to your room being SLAMMED SHUT, and then SLAM into a TABLE. You notice a small box near you, and investigate it. It reads "Sburb." Of course. You installed this in your DRUNKENESS and forgot about it. That's why it's on your COMPUTER. You then dive out of the way of a FLOATING IKEA BED.
Pesterlog:
Jason: Go back to the computer.
You wait for SS to put your BED down, and then you go to sit at your computer, ready for a long chat about all this madness.
Pesterlog:
SS: Remove drinks.
You pull all the DRINKS away from JASON. It's for his own fucking good. He responds by scooting closer to the DRINKS. Why the fuck won't he listen? He also puts the SBURB BOX down, because it's probably not RELEVANT any more.
Pesterlog:
SS: Lift the couch.
Oh shit. You totally lift that couch. You warned him.
Pesterlog:
SS: Deploy Totem Lathe.
You place it PROFESSIONALLY behind the couch.
Pesterlog:
Jason: Investigate.
First, you put PESTERCHUM on your SMARTPHONE, for easy communication. Then you start pressing RANDOM BUTTONS.
Pesterlog:
SS: Revise.
You draw on the ground, pushing the FLOOR out significantly. Jason flips out. You continue revising a little until it looks GOOD. Admittedly this costs a LOT of the 20 BUILD GRIST you have to work with, but hey. Form over function, any day.
Pesterlog:
SS: Give Jason his happy sauce.
You scoot ONE bottle over there. Jason grabs it desperately and pours himself a shot. You are amazed by his RETSRAINT.
Pesterlog:
SS: Deploy Cruxtruder.
You open up the PHERNALIA REGISTRY and toss it idly in the middle of the room. Naturally, it SHAKES somewhat and things fall off of shelves. Between this and the furniture already present, the LIVING ROOM is now unnavigable. You throw everything to one side, to be SAFE.
Pesterlog:
SS: Deploy Alchemiter.
The room is NEARLY PACKED, but you cram it in. It's doubtful any more BIG SHINIES will fit in here. Luckily, there aren't any more in the PHERNALIA REGISTRY that you can use right now.
Pesterlog:
Last edited by Legendary; 02-09-2012 at 03:22 PM.
-
02-06-2012, 10:41 PM #18
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
- Location
- Land of Ice and Alcohol (North Dakota)
- Posts
- 156
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
Looking good so far, can't wait to see everything else
(and don't think I didn't notice the turtle soup quip damn you.)Fourmite romance in action :P
-
02-06-2012, 10:48 PM #19Heir of Blood
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Fairbanks, AK
- Pronouns
- he/him/his
- Posts
- 3,934
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
Cast:
Crew:
Jason: Stop talking to your friends.
CAMERON already stopped talking to his friends, fuckass.
Shut up and stop chopping this up so I look stupid giving commands when we're on someone else!
No.
...
Moving right along. You go to the WINDOW, but whatever vehicle was there is already GONE. You check your FRONT DOOR, to see if the package was dropped off there, but again you have no luck. The MAILBOX does look tampered with though, so you set off down the drive.
Oh look, your mail is here. Right where it belongs. Where the fuck else would it be? One server disc, check. More importantly, one client disc, check.
...I guess you're really not going to offer suggestions. Welp. You head up to your room, get back to your computer, slip the disc into the drive, and receive one healthy dose of EPILEPSY. The loading screen is literally worse than that POKEMON episode that no one's ever seen because it kills them straight out. Finally, your sanity tenuously hanging onto one THREAD, the screen disappears and asks you to establish a "server connection".
It takes you a little bit to recover from the lights, though. You start asking around for a connection. By which I mean, UT divebombs you like a fucking bat out of hell.
Pesterlog:
...
This is the bit where you say something.
Everyone: Kill yourself.
Welp, story's over. No wait, that's stupid. Can we hold off on the mental breakdowns until later? We've got a lot to cover.
Cameron: Watch UT fuck up your house.
Better. First you pull out a MOBILE DEVICE (all the better to chat anywhere with), and then you watch as your computer's SBURB screen disappears. Meanwhile, UT picks up a bookcase and begins messing with it, knocking all the books everywhere.
Pesterlog:
UT: Put the shelf down. No mental breakdowns, remember?
You drop it, and it breaks into a lot of PIECES. The books are intact though, if in an UNGAINLY PILE OF FAIL.
Pesterlog:
UT: Try moving a book.
You pick up one volume of MARK TWAIN'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY and attempt to put it down next to the dog, HOLLY. You end up hitting her in the head instead, and she growls at the book.
Pesterlog:
UT: Deploy alchemiter.
There's not a lot of room, so first you REVISE a corner of the room (costing 5 GRIST), which makes HOLLY freak out again. Poor dog. Its little head is blown when you place the ALCHEMITER in there as well, but hers isn't the only one. Cameron approaches it and prods at it uncertainly.
Pesterlog:
UT: Fuck specific things. Steal!
That's not RANDOM.
Pesterlog:
========>
You attempt to steal a PILLOW, because fuck stealing valuable things, but apparently the GAME DEVELOPERS didn't want to be SUED and made there be a SPECIFIC RANGE. Good thing you're not a criminal, or you'd be really upset!
Pesterlog:
UT: Fail miserably.
You're such a bundle of joy. It falls apart of course, so you throw most of it outside, and all of the books too. You then get to work on the OTHER MACHINES to make yourself feel better, placing one where the SHELF used to be, and the other in a corner you REVISE into existence.
Pesterlog:
UT: Move stuff around despite the lack of Grist.
Only DEPLOYMENT is limited by GRIST. You can move stuff as much as you want, and you do, throwing a bunch of BOOKS back into the room. You then realize that even DEPLOYMENT isn't always affected by GRIST, and you can add a PRE-PUNCHED CARD. You totally rock at this game shit. Level 2, here you come!
Pesterlog:
Cameron: Throw a book at the Cruxtruder.
There's no need when you can just move it with your h-- Oh. Those don't work. Figures. You throw a book at the CRUXTRUDER, which sends the lid flying in a dangerous fashion.
Naturally it lands HARMLESSLY.
Pesterlog:
Cameron: Spin wheel on the Cruxtruder.
You do so. A bright red CYLINDER pops out of it!
Pesterlog:
========>
The CYLINDER falls on HOLLY.
Pesterlog:
Last edited by Legendary; 04-08-2012 at 12:38 AM.
-
02-06-2012, 11:50 PM #20Heir of Blood
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Fairbanks, AK
- Pronouns
- he/him/his
- Posts
- 3,934
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
CAST:
CREW:
Somebody: Save the doggy!
How about a cliffhanger instead? Let's go look over at WILL.
Well at least I don't look stupid. Will: I forget what you're doing, so just... whatever is the smartest thing to do. Do it.
You return to your room, and see that someone is pestering you. Since you're being smart, you answer them.
Pesterlog:
That was pointless. Will: Pester someone I care about.
You pester CT.
Pesterlog:
Will and CT: Complete installation.
From WILL'S perspective, you see nothing at all. From CT'S perspective, all of WILL'S room is visible before you. This is totally awesome.
Pesterlog:
Will: Don't look for cameras. Someone already did that.
Lalalala Will can't hear you. He checks for photosensors and finds nothing.
Pesterlog:
CT: View options.
There are seven. SELECT, REVISE, DEPLOY, PHERNALIA REGISTRY, GRIST CACHE, EXPLORE ATHENEUM, and ALCHEMY EXCURSUS. It is quite a mouthful.
CT: Select something.
You pick a GUITAR up.
Pesterlog:
========>
You shake the GUITAR around, and unsurprisingly it breaks. It is especially UNSURPISING thanks to that business with the BOOKSHELF.
Pesterlog:
CT: Deploy.
There's like FIVE THINGS in here! The ALCHEMITER, the CRUXTRUDER, and the TOTEM LATHE, machines you've already seen. There's also the PRE-PUNCHED CARD, again you've seen it. Finally, there's the PUNCH DESIGNIX, which you can't seem to buy right now!
Let them pick which one first. I don't care.
Lazy bones.
Pesterlog:
========>
You fit the TOTEM LATHE in the spacious kitchen easily. It's nice, not trying to cram everything into ONE ROOM like the other losers did.
CT: You should probably tell Will about all this.
Good point. There's some expensive equipment that is going to break any minute due to the rules of drama in there!
Pesterlog:
========>
You proceed into the KITCHEN. Holy shit that's amazing.
Schizolog:
Will and CT: We've done this so much. Can we finish it up?
Yeah. Just this and one more arrow thingy.
Pesterlog:
========>
With little care or effort, you stuff the CRUXTRUDER into Will's bedroom, and the ALCHEMITER into the HALLWAY, conveniently blocking traffic. Let's go onto someone else now.Last edited by Legendary; 02-07-2012 at 12:45 AM.
-
02-07-2012, 12:38 AM #21Heir of Blood
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
- Location
- Fairbanks, AK
- Pronouns
- he/him/his
- Posts
- 3,934
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
Cast:
Crew:
Which one are we now?
JEREMY again. And then we run through the loop one last time. After that, who knows who we'll be?
Pesterlog:
TS: Fuck democracy right up th-
Yeah okay we get it. You expand a BACK WALL out a few meters, just because you can!
Pesterlog:
TS: Deploy something. Hurry!
There's no rush. But you pull out the CRUXTRUDER anyway.
Pesterlog:
TS: Expand another wall.
You are the interior home decorator. It's you.
Pesterlog:
TS: You are the assembly line god. Deploy the Alchemiter.
All praise TS! He deploys the Alchemiter with no shenanigans!
Pesterlog:
TS: THERE IS MORE ROOM. DEPLOY ALL THE THINGS.
You place the TOTEM LATHE in a convenient spot.
Pesterlog:
Jeremy: Quit yer bitchin' and get to work!
Wow you're getting pushy. We should probably hold off on entry sequences for a little while after this. You approach the CRUXTRUDER, (with a mobile phone version of pesterchum because seriously everyone needs five of these) since it is the only machine whose function you understand so far.
Pesterlog:
TS: Make RG rue the day he had you for a server player!
You grab Sir Skulkalot and throw him against the Cruxtruder, sending the lid flying and breaking him easily. A cylinder pops out, as does a glowing sphere of light, just like the other times a Cruxtruder was successfully opened.
Pesterlog:
Jeremy: Notice something cool and new that no one else has covered yet!
Huh. There are little numbers on the Cruxtruder now. They seem to be counting down. This couldn't be less ominous if it was surrounded by rainbows.
More dramatic BS: Hapen.
This is no time for shitty webcomic references! Can't you see the windows are shaking?!
========>
You rush to the WINDOW.
Last edited by Legendary; 04-08-2012 at 12:39 AM.
-
02-07-2012, 07:44 AM #22incredible Username
- Join Date
- Nov 2010
- Location
- In one place per continually changing instant of time.
- Posts
- 2,078
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
Nice use of cliffhanger! And I'm still laughing at everyone else's shenanigans. So, so many shenanigans.
Holly is clearly the most important character of MMORPGStuck.
-
02-07-2012, 09:06 AM #23Guard of Peace
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
- Location
- Liège, Belgium.
- Posts
- 655
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
Shenanigans are our bread and butter. I didn't even remember I paid my respects to brave sir skulkalot after his demise. I love past me. Originally Posted by Unclever title
-
02-07-2012, 10:14 AM #24Heep of Feels
- Join Date
- Jun 2011
- Location
- Sweden
- Pronouns
- she/her/hers
- Posts
- 3,847
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
Reaction delayed until someone answers the most important question in my life right now: does Velmen actually have a dog called Holly?
MSPA ♣House IRC - MAPLEHOOF'S ADVENTURE - Holly's Valentines Day Drawing Requests [CLOSED]
Avatar Collection - v SIGQUOTES v - Emoticons -
|
|
-
02-07-2012, 10:58 AM #25Seer of Knights
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
- Location
- Land of L and of
- Pronouns
- she/her/hers
- Posts
- 1,085
Re: MMORPGStuck Logs
Just realised you never specified my username when jwj starts talking to me.
You just call me "TS", then make a joke about my username without explicitly stating it.
<- Fansession currently on Hiatus because I'm too busy/lazy to draw. 
Giant robots in the last days of man.
Reply With Quote
Which, I mean, that is AWESOME but it's not what I was hoping for.
ship now? *doesn't actually follow ships that much*
