it's really dark and you can't see shitall (COMPLETED)

[Staff Deployment]

> Use Splash Attack!



NO.
You are NOT going to piss yourself.

> Crawl sideways as fast as you can!



Good thing you were the school champion crab-walker back in 11th grade. You scuttle over to the side. You hear clacking and a bunch of smashing around right where you used to be lying. The growler's done playing around. It's legitimately trying to kill you.

You crash into like a desk or something. You bang your face again.
The growler stops growling and starts yapping uncontrollably in your direction. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP it's coming for you oh fuck oh shit oh fuck oh son of an illegitimate transvestite molester YOU ARE GOING TO DIE YOU ARE GOING TO DIE AAAAAAAHHHHHH

[hypersheep]

>Go around desk-like object.

[Naristar]

tell stupid nock nock jokes to apease the beast

[King of Clubs]

> Consider the possibility that the growler is not a monster, but actually a robot (you did smell motor oil). Command it to divide by zero, that is obviously the only way to defeat the robot.

[Staff Deployment]

> Consider the possibility that the growler is not a monster, but actually a robot (you did smell motor oil). Command it to divide by zero, that is obviously the only way to defeat the robot.

But
You
Steve felt its breath
On his face
And how would even robot why
Why
Doesn't even

> Go around the desk-like object.



Wow, that's... really pedestrian. Kind of a vanilla thing to do in this circumstance. It's so mainstream.

> Tell stupid knock-knock jokes.



Much better. You are so doing this. You lever yourself up back to your feet and lean against this desk thing casually. There's like a box on the desk of some sort, a wooden box it feels like, but you pay no attention to that.

"Knock knock," you say to the beast. You can hear its breathing. It is inches away from your face. It's letting you speak, as if giving you a chance to prove yourself worthy of not being eaten. It can afford to bide its time.

"Surrrgrr..."

"Akow go."

It just snarls in response. You can almost feel the rush of air, given the speed its lips pulled back over what you assume are dagger-like teeth.

"No, silly. Cows go moo."

The growler bites your face.
(it is painful; you are in pain)

[ferd1991]

AHAH! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE! As it bites your face, kick it in the YARBELS
If it has any yarbels... O_o
(And yes, it's a Clockwork Orange reference)

[Naristar]

grab the wooden box and smash its face!!!!!

[King of Clubs]

> Punch the robot/monster (which is obviously steam powered and thus letting off steam which feels like breath) in the snout to establish superiority.

[Kocel232]

>Return its passionate kiss.

[Staff Deployment]

> Return its passionate kiss.



SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY?
THIS THING GAVE YOU A THIRD NOSTRIL AND YOUR FIRST INSTINCT IS TO KISS IT?!

You do not do this.

> Grab the wooden box and smash its face.



You fumble around behind you. Ah. Box. Wood. Excellent. You try and pick it up.
You fail. It's bigger than you thought.

The monster chomps down on your arm. You can feel that it has at least two layers of teeth. You also feel pain, that too. Lots of pain. Also kinda delirious, but that's probably from the blood loss.

> Punch it.



FUCK IT WHY NOT

You punch it. It feels furry. You're surprised you hit it at all given how you still can't see a blasted thing.
You've got a few seconds before it leaps on you again. But you can't really think straight.

If there was light, your face would be red, and not from embarrassment.
(it's from the blood)
(because it bit your face)
(also your left arm now)

[Naristar]

punch it again look for the eyes

[Kíeros]

> Fall unconscious due to a lack of blood.

[ferd1991]

Wrap your arm around it's neck, put all your weight down on it, and snap it's neck you weakling!

[hypersheep]

>Black out (oh wait!!!)

[greenMachine]

>Steve is out of usable Pokemon limbs!
>Steve blacked out!

[Staff Deployment]

punch it again look for the eyes

...............really?

> Wrap your arms around its neck, put all your weight on it, and snap its neck you weakling!



You're not a weakling! You're a big angry black guy! You can do this Steve!

RAAAAAAAAA NECKSEIZE
MRNRMRNRMRNRMRNRMRNRMRN THUD
SNAP

> Black out.



You don't want to black out. You're not sure if the psychotic monster is dead yet and you're kind of lying on top of it.
But you black out anyway.
There is no real difference, to be honest.

[Kíeros]

> Somehow, during the blackout, realize that you forgot to pay your electricity bills.

[hypersheep]

>Wake up where it's really bright and you can't see Shitall.

[King of Clubs]

> Wake up where it's really bright and you can see a tunnel.

[Doombringer Grue]

>Wake up with a start and punch the fuzzy thing

[ProfessorLizzard]

>Dream of darkness

Also I noticed that all of the images is from wikipedia. Hotlinking from the pages of other people like that is rude! You are decreasing their bandwidth and money this way.

[Staff Deployment]

> Staff Deployment: Very unstealthily retcon.



Whooooooooops sorry about that here is one I uploaded myself.

> Steve Negro Dark: Wake up.



What was all that? You had a weird dream about image hosting and whatnot. You're not even sure that the problem was satsifactorily resolved because you're not sure how it works really. But that's probably because you're still a bit dizzy from blood loss.

You have a sudden inexplicable urge to punch something fuzzy. You can't though, because the fuzzy thing you used to be lying on has long since escaped.

You assess your physical health and realize that sleeping for a few minutes didn't really heal your nose or your arm. And the lights are still out. You find this very disappointing, but not all that surprising. At least you're probably alone now.

[hypersheep]

>Navigate your way through the darkness with echolocation.

[Naristar]

open the wooden thing!

[PsychoKitty]

Trip over something and fall down some stairs. And survive.