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Thread: it's really dark and you can't see shitall (COMPLETED)

  1. #26
    Conqueror of Tiny Nations Staff Deployment's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    > Use Splash Attack!



    NO.
    You are NOT going to piss yourself.

    > Crawl sideways as fast as you can!



    Good thing you were the school champion crab-walker back in 11th grade. You scuttle over to the side. You hear clacking and a bunch of smashing around right where you used to be lying. The growler's done playing around. It's legitimately trying to kill you.

    You crash into like a desk or something. You bang your face again.
    The growler stops growling and starts yapping uncontrollably in your direction. THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP it's coming for you oh fuck oh shit oh fuck oh son of an illegitimate transvestite molester YOU ARE GOING TO DIE YOU ARE GOING TO DIE AAAAAAAHHHHHH
    Last edited by Staff Deployment; 02-16-2012 at 06:44 PM.

  2. #27

    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    >Go around desk-like object.

  3. #28

  4. #29
    Thief of Blood King of Clubs's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    > Consider the possibility that the growler is not a monster, but actually a robot (you did smell motor oil). Command it to divide by zero, that is obviously the only way to defeat the robot.

  5. #30
    Conqueror of Tiny Nations Staff Deployment's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    Quote Originally Posted by King of Clubs View Post
    > Consider the possibility that the growler is not a monster, but actually a robot (you did smell motor oil). Command it to divide by zero, that is obviously the only way to defeat the robot.
    But
    You
    Steve felt its breath
    On his face
    And how would even robot why
    Why
    Doesn't even

    > Go around the desk-like object.



    Wow, that's... really pedestrian. Kind of a vanilla thing to do in this circumstance. It's so mainstream.

    > Tell stupid knock-knock jokes.



    Much better. You are so doing this. You lever yourself up back to your feet and lean against this desk thing casually. There's like a box on the desk of some sort, a wooden box it feels like, but you pay no attention to that.

    "Knock knock," you say to the beast. You can hear its breathing. It is inches away from your face. It's letting you speak, as if giving you a chance to prove yourself worthy of not being eaten. It can afford to bide its time.

    "Surrrgrr..."

    "Akow go."

    It just snarls in response. You can almost feel the rush of air, given the speed its lips pulled back over what you assume are dagger-like teeth.

    "No, silly. Cows go moo."

    The growler bites your face.
    (it is painful; you are in pain)
    Last edited by Staff Deployment; 02-16-2012 at 06:44 PM.

  6. #31
    ferd1991's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    AHAH! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE! As it bites your face, kick it in the YARBELS
    If it has any yarbels... O_o
    (And yes, it's a Clockwork Orange reference)
    LOOKIT! ITS A BUTTON!

  7. #32

  8. #33
    Thief of Blood King of Clubs's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    > Punch the robot/monster (which is obviously steam powered and thus letting off steam which feels like breath) in the snout to establish superiority.
    Last edited by King of Clubs; 02-15-2012 at 10:44 AM.

  9. #34
    The Wandering Fool Kocel232's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    >Return its passionate kiss.

  10. #35
    Conqueror of Tiny Nations Staff Deployment's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    > Return its passionate kiss.



    SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY?
    THIS THING GAVE YOU A THIRD NOSTRIL AND YOUR FIRST INSTINCT IS TO KISS IT?!

    You do not do this.

    > Grab the wooden box and smash its face.



    You fumble around behind you. Ah. Box. Wood. Excellent. You try and pick it up.
    You fail. It's bigger than you thought.

    The monster chomps down on your arm. You can feel that it has at least two layers of teeth. You also feel pain, that too. Lots of pain. Also kinda delirious, but that's probably from the blood loss.

    > Punch it.



    FUCK IT WHY NOT

    You punch it. It feels furry. You're surprised you hit it at all given how you still can't see a blasted thing.
    You've got a few seconds before it leaps on you again. But you can't really think straight.

    If there was light, your face would be red, and not from embarrassment.
    (it's from the blood)
    (because it bit your face)
    (also your left arm now)
    Last edited by Staff Deployment; 02-16-2012 at 06:45 PM.

  11. #36

  12. #37
    Flare Admin Calem Moderator Kíeros's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    > Fall unconscious due to a lack of blood.
    Rules     :     Mods

  13. #38
    ferd1991's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    Wrap your arm around it's neck, put all your weight down on it, and snap it's neck you weakling!
    LOOKIT! ITS A BUTTON!

  14. #39

    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    >Black out (oh wait!!!)

  15. #40
    Fora Adventure Fan
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    >Steve is out of usable Pokemon limbs!
    >Steve blacked out!
    The Many Worlds Experiment is over. Sorry everyone.

  16. #41
    Conqueror of Tiny Nations Staff Deployment's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    Quote Originally Posted by Naristar View Post
    punch it again look for the eyes
    ...............really?

    > Wrap your arms around its neck, put all your weight on it, and snap its neck you weakling!



    You're not a weakling! You're a big angry black guy! You can do this Steve!

    RAAAAAAAAA NECKSEIZE
    MRNRMRNRMRNRMRNRMRNRMRN THUD
    SNAP

    > Black out.



    You don't want to black out. You're not sure if the psychotic monster is dead yet and you're kind of lying on top of it.
    But you black out anyway.
    There is no real difference, to be honest.
    Last edited by Staff Deployment; 02-16-2012 at 06:45 PM.

  17. #42
    Flare Admin Calem Moderator Kíeros's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    > Somehow, during the blackout, realize that you forgot to pay your electricity bills.
    Rules     :     Mods

  18. #43

    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    >Wake up where it's really bright and you can't see Shitall.

  19. #44
    Thief of Blood King of Clubs's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    > Wake up where it's really bright and you can see a tunnel.
    Last edited by King of Clubs; 02-16-2012 at 05:11 AM.

  20. #45
    Knight of Chaos Doombringer Grue's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    >Wake up with a start and punch the fuzzy thing

  21. #46
    Avatar by Pharms : D Moderator ProfessorLizzard's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    >Dream of darkness

    Also I noticed that all of the images is from wikipedia. Hotlinking from the pages of other people like that is rude! You are decreasing their bandwidth and money this way.

  22. #47
    Conqueror of Tiny Nations Staff Deployment's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    > Staff Deployment: Very unstealthily retcon.



    Whooooooooops sorry about that here is one I uploaded myself.

    > Steve Negro Dark: Wake up.



    What was all that? You had a weird dream about image hosting and whatnot. You're not even sure that the problem was satsifactorily resolved because you're not sure how it works really. But that's probably because you're still a bit dizzy from blood loss.

    You have a sudden inexplicable urge to punch something fuzzy. You can't though, because the fuzzy thing you used to be lying on has long since escaped.

    You assess your physical health and realize that sleeping for a few minutes didn't really heal your nose or your arm. And the lights are still out. You find this very disappointing, but not all that surprising. At least you're probably alone now.
    Last edited by Staff Deployment; 02-16-2012 at 07:00 PM.

  23. #48

    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    >Navigate your way through the darkness with echolocation.

  24. #49

  25. #50
    Theif of Heat PsychoKitty's Avatar
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    Re: IT'S REALLY DARK AND YOU CAN'T SEE SHITALL

    Trip over something and fall down some stairs. And survive.
    In a bucket.

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