Aligned With Stupid

[destinysWalrus]

Art contributions by William



Also, in case it's not entirely clear, this adventure is a collaboration between me and Xartarin.

[Xartarin]

There is no “start” button on your keyboard, so you humor the funny pictures by typing in START and then hitting this green arrow key.

The picture focuses elsewhere in paradox space, to a planet lightcycles away from anything you’d register significant. A planet shrouded in darkness by a permanent veil of clouds, a world conquered by an evil race of aliens many generations ago.

What’s this planet named?

[Why]

Hoffturnia

[Blizz98]

>Umbrallia

[CSJ]

Tatooine
Berowra ('Place of many winds')

[King of Clubs]

> Anemonia

Edit: or alternatively Eos

[Morphimus]

> Earth (Pronounced: san-dvitch)

[Sandvich King]

> Ainretla

[skellytinhood]

> Phistos

[cryptidWrangler]

>DERPTOPIA
>COSMIC PUSTULE
>ALPITITH DDWIGENUS

[destinysWalrus]

Thank you all for the cool names, update should be coming this weekend.

[Xartarin]

> Earth (Pronounced: san-dvitch)

You have just the name, it's perfect. You ready your pick-and-peck skill and prepare to name it "sandwich".

An annoyed voice from behind catches your attention before you can complete the task.



The talking dog from across the room wisely advises you to type something sensible in.



Fine. Geez.

> Anemonia

Edit: or alternatively Eos

You name the planet EOS, for a fairly obvious reason. It's the same name of the planet you're on right now! You were never much for creativity.



The screen refocuses to a picture of an empty corner of a room. You.... guess you have to name the room now? Fine. You prepare to name the room...



Oh! Okay. Guess you have to name this person then.



The screen displays a young troll, full of excitement and SPIRIT for the adventures ahead. As is custom for stories such as these, we meet this troll on her wriggling day, the day of her larval awakening. Today, another dateless day in the constant march of time, is the day she turns exactly one bicycle old, the Eosian equivalent of six Alternian "solar sweeps". Though she's unaware of the importance of today's date, due to her inability to see the sun through the permanent cloud cover, we're still going to do her the convenience of giving her a name. You'll have to make sure both her first and last names contain no more or less than EIGHT CHARACTERS. It's planetary tradition.

What is this troll's name?

[skellytinhood]

8 charachters, hmm.

> Iketsumi Sarutobi

Ninjas... sapping... mah sentry creativity...

[Blizz98]

>Navindri Dekartaa

[cryptidWrangler]

>Ninjalin Cowslutt
>Sellssex Forfivep
>Sadanjia Erocalyp

[King of Clubs]

> Adrianne Gallegos

[DanceswithParadoxes]

>Goldrith Zulliman
>Aoquilia Lumthets
...

I'm bad at names. After making sure they were pronouncable I pretty much gave up.
Mostly posting to say that's the most adorable exile that ever was or ever will be.

[Morphimus]

> Asahinna Twarrion

[Alien]

Diablesse !

[Naristar]

Sandra Ow

[Zhangku]

Ninn Jutara

[Why]

Zoosmell Pooplady

[destinysWalrus]

> Iketsumi Sarutobi

>Ninjalin Cowslutt

Your name is IKETSUMI NINJALIN, and you don't need to provide detailed exposition on the facets of your character because we'll see them firsthand in the coming events!

Speaking of upcoming events, it looks like you’re being trolled by one of your friends.



Pesterlog:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- negativeEnergy [NE] began trolling chaoticNinja [CN] --

NE: print “Iket.”
NE: print “Ikeeeet. Iketsumi.”
NE: print “Zoosmell Cowslutt you get over here this instant.”
CN: (ugh, NE!)
CN: (i thought we agreed not to talk about the cowslutt thing ever again)
CN: (what do you want this time?)
NE: print “There you are. What the heck are you doing?”
CN: (well, i was standing in the corner... staring?)
NE: print “That’s really weird but whatever, that’s not important right now.”
NE: print “I made a game.”
CN: (*another game)
NE: print “I promise this one will not be a broken piece of garbage.”
CN: (sigh)
CN: (well, let’s hear about it then)
NE: print “It’ll be similar to Flarp.”
CN: (and you’ve already lost me)
NE: print “There are no restrictions regarding your natural powers.”
NE: print “Or really, any other restrictions imposed by other players.”
CN: (...continue)
NE: print “It’ll be like Flarp in that you fight enemies for rewards.”
NE: print “I don’t know most of the details, since the code was lifted from a nearby temple. I merely adapted it and modified it.”
CN: (oh dear)
CN: (i think i might have to take a CHANCE on that game of yours)
NE: print “Ha ha, that’s real hilarious."
NE: print “I’m sending you the files. At the very least, beta test it for me.”

-- negativeEnergy [NE] sent chaoticNinja [CN] the file "SHaze.exe" --

CN: (shaze is a dumb name)
NE: print “Whatever you say, Zoosmell.”

-- negativeEnergy [NE] ceased trolling chaoticNinja [CN] --

CN: !!!

Okay, now that you're done dealing with NE, what do you do now?

[skellytinhood]

It's actually amazing that the parentheses make the head-voice sound muffled. For some reason.

> Admire posters.

[feralFantom]

> Confess deepest desires to training dummy.