RELAYBLOCKED - Mass Effect Adventures

[open_sketchbook]

Relayblocked



A brave soldier stands in their bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 18th of March, is this soldiers's birthday. Though they have served bravely for a decade, it is only tod-oh damn it!

Stupid Alliance record system has glitched out again. Looks like we're going to have to manually insert all the information. Isn't the future wonderful!

We're going to need a first name, a gender, and a class.

[Kerensky287]

First name: Commander

Gender: Female

Class: Sentinel, so there's no reason not to get rid of that awful Kaidan early on.

[Edrobot]

Hey, buster, whadda think yer doin'? We're wokin' this side of the road!

First Name: Doomguy

Gender: Male

Class: Space Marine

[open_sketchbook]

>Enter Name



Nice try, wise guy. That wasn't even a valid class!

Valid classes are Soldier, Sentinel, Infiltrator, Adept, Vanguard, and Engineer.

[Lawface]

Name: Garbledina Cumberbatch

Gender: Female

Class: Engineer

[cryinglaughter]

Amanda Elisse

Female

Adept

But I totally wanted her to be a Janitor that wants to be a fighter and fights with her broom/mop D;

[Grug]

> Mordechai Schlomeil
> Male
> Adept
> Nerrrr

[Edrobot]

>Gilgamesh
>Male
>Engineer

[open_sketchbook]

Try Again



>Examine Room



Your name is AMANDA ELISSE SHEPARD. You are an ADEPT, a COMMANDER of the ALLIANCE, and a COUNCIL SPECTRE. Last you checked, you were FEMALE, not that it matters in this post-patriarchal day and age. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. A number of GUNS are scattered around the room. You have a variety of INTERESTS. You build and collect MODELS OF SPACECRAFT. You love to DANCE but you are NOTICABLY TERRIBLE AT IT. You like TROPICAL FISH of EXTRATERRESTRIAL SEAS. You enjoy partaking in LIQUOR of ALIEN ORIGIN, and when you have spare time you MIX DRINKS NOBODY BUT YOU CAN ENJOY. On occasion, you save the universe.

What will you do?

[Edrobot]

> Actually be Katsumi Goto in a convincing disguise

or

> Stop Being Shepard and be Katsumi Goto

[String Cheeze]

Gather up your equipment and get ready to save the universe!

[open_sketchbook]

> Stop Being Shepard and be Katsumi Goto



You don't know who Katsumi Goto is, and you can't be her if you don't know who she is!

Besides, you'd know if there was an invisible flash-stepping ninja aboard the ship.

You've checked.

Gather up your equipment and get ready to save the universe!



You already have your vital equipment stashed away in your Sylladex! You've got your PISTOL, some MEDIGEL, some GRENADES, a DELICIOUS DRINK, a GETH FLAGSHIP MODEL, and the KEY TO THE MAKO.

[Lawface]

Use model ship paint to paint your face.

[TheFinalWraith]

Put on helmet and fondly regard fish.

[KarneWarrior]

>Kneel on the floor and squeal like a pig.

[String Cheeze]

Imbibe your delicious drink.

[Kerensky287]

Use model ship paint to paint your face.

Seconded.

Suggestions:

1) Kratos Warpaint.
2) Pikachu Circles.
3) Garrus' Familial Crest.
4) Fantroll.

[Detoura]

> shoot the fishtank, you just KNOW they're Geth lurking in there. You just KNOW it.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

i have always wanted to shoot at the fishtank

[open_sketchbook]

> Imbibe your delicious drink.



You pull out your drink, the HIGH RAGING TWISTER. Illegal on twelve planets, it's a mix of highly radioactive Krogan ale and cleaning agent used to clean the barrels of dreadnought spinal guns. It's know to cause liver problems, burning in the mouth and throat, and severely effect the logical centers of the brain.



SOOO GOOD.

>Kneel on the floor and squeal like a pig.



Yep, it's hitting you pretty hard.

Must... resist...

> Use model ship paint to paint your face.



Ah, screw it!

You paint your face in imitation of the facepaint used by your best bro in the whole world, GARRUS. This culturally insensitive action is sure to get some laughs!

> Shoot the fishtank, you just KNOW they're Geth lurking in there. You just KNOW it.



You reach for your trusty PISTOL... aw crap!

You forgot about the shortcoming of your FETCH MODUS. While it's super-convenient that you can use whatever items you want, whenever you want, waiting out the cooldown is super annoying. The bigger or more important the item you use, the longer the cooldown.

This sucks.

> Fondly regard fish.



You're off the hook this time, fish.

This time.

[Lawface]

Pick up stool, smash fish tank with it.

[Kerensky287]

Unleash your creative side, using parts from your GETH FLAGSHIP MODEL to improve your NORMANDY SR-1 MODEL. Then take pictures and post them on your Tumblr.

[Askia]

Realize your tumblr has a LOT of followers

then berate them

[Edrobot]

Why are you so short, anyway?

[Kerensky287]

Illusive Man: Be one of Shepard's Tumblr followers.

Get all sorts of ideas from Sovreign/Normandy hybrid.

[TheFinalWraith]

Wait, are those fish even alive?
Like shouldn't they be moving?