Choose Your Flavor Mafia: GAME USURPED. (town win, PRIME INTELLECT win)

[Solaris]

beruru is not town in this or any other universe
no, not even that one
i am so sure of this
YES I AM EVEN ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN
also note that i am a bulletproof and that if you dont vote to kill me then i will vote against town in the name of fucking you all over

[Solaris]

*kill me now

[Solaris]

can someone who has been an animal tell me if new quicktopics are created every time someone becomes an animal?
because
inox is probably scum, if so.

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING QUESTION
JUST LOOK AT IT
NO FUCKING SHIT THAT A NEW QT IS MADE EVERY TIME SOMEONE BECOMES AN ANIMAL, PEOPLE ARE CONSTANTLY GOING IN AND OUT OF IT LIKE A FUCKING CARNIVAL RIDE THE ENTIRE POINT IS THAT IT IS A MUTABLE MASON CHAT HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN ANYTHING ABOUT INOX'S ALIGNMENT GOD DAMN IT HOW DO YOU THINK THAT BERURU IS ANYTHING BUT SCUM

[Solaris]

YELLING IS FUN

[armoredSkunk]

yes, I'm pretty sure bears is scum

but is she the last????????????????????

(skunknote: if not then we'd be pretty screwed)

[armoredSkunk]

you know what forget it unvote

weighing options brb

[absoluteCertainty]

~unofficial vote totals~

a bear: (3) crilly, skunk, seastorm
aerosolaris: (3) dini, solaris, a bear

election voots:
dininiinini: (3) dininini, sol, seastorm

abstaining: people who aren't voting. those people.

[armoredSkunk]

ok back and I have a secret plan

if we want to lynch solaris today I won't object

[Mirdini]

Skunk, I shared your concern re: Seastorm being a fakeclaiming cop! It's very possible considering we already had a town watcher drop.

But look, I didn't tell her what I thought she'd have to be, and she went and said she got a guilty on beru! Which means she literally can't be naive or anything. WHICH MEANS that if we lynch beru tomorrow and beru DOESN'T drop mafia (or miller!), seastorm is almost certainly the last scum.

So let's see the edited list! I'll even tally up the numbers for you since you seem to be so concerned about them:

we lynch Solaris today. some townie dies in the night. Down to 6 players - 1 3P, 1 Mafia, 4 town at the start of Day Six.

We lynch beruru tomorrow. some townie dies in the night. Down to 4 players - 1 3P, 1 Mafia, 2 town at the start of Day Seven.

I turn everyone into an animal, leave the game, down to 3 players in Day Seven.

The remaining two lynch seastorm who is the last scum unless beru was a miller.

everyone's happy.

Now remember, this is assuming that the scum manage to successfully kill every night which is by no means a given considering we've probably still got SOME form of protective tooling around.

[Mirdini]

yes, I'm pretty sure bears is scum

but is she the last????????????????????

(skunknote: if not then we'd be pretty screwed)

Fuck's bloody sake


There's zero chance Eido was lying about visceral being scum.

You do not get the equivalent of SIX SCUM TO LYNCH in an 18 player game. (lynchproof counts for two you know).

Fuck, the five equivalent is already pushing the boundaries of what's balanced if not for hard to kill roles running around

THIS DOESN'T STOP BEING A THING

EXTRA LIFE/LYNCHPROOF SCUM IS WORTH TWO SCUM IN BALANCE CONSIDERATIONS AND SOTEK IS A MOD THAT KNOWS THIS. AND I PRACTICALLY COUNT TOWARDS THE MAFIA IN BALANCE CONSIDERATIONS SINCE I WANTED SO MANY TOWNIES DEAD (assuming the last scum is seastorm and not beru but even with beruscum it's 1 maf 1 3P 3 townies - also watts if you're not scum (which is looking annoyingly likely at this juncture) boo hiss)).

[Mirdini]

And aS the scenario you described is impossible because scum would not get FOUR MEMBERS, ONE OF WHOM IS LYNCHPROOF/EXTRA LIFE, with TWO MORE THIRD PARTIES. That makes SEVEN NON-TOWN in an EIGHTEEN PERSON GAME.

[Mirdini]

ok back and I have a secret plan

if we want to lynch solaris today I won't object

fine with secret plans

I obviously support solaris lynch (look he's even said outright he'll play against town if he isn't lynched. LOOK GUYS YOU CAN LEGITIMATELY LYNCH ONE OF US 3Ps wooooooo)

[Mirdini]

To any townies who object to PLAN ALPHA, let's look at the presumed alternative "I'm playing for my town win con bro":

You lynch beru today. If she is mafia, congrats - you would've won with PLAN ALPHA as well.

If she isn't mafia, a townie dies in the night. Down to 2 3P, 1 mafia, 3 town.

You lynch seastorm for lying about beru result (this is assuming I care enough to vote with you, since Solaris won't and with 2 3P 1 maf we can deadlock). If she is mafia, congrats - you would've won with PLAN ALPHA as well.

If she isn't mafia, a townie dies in the night. Down to 2 3P, 1 mafia, 1 town. Town is fucked because Solaris has said he'll vote against town at this stage AT THE TOP OF THIS PAGE.

There is LITERALLY NO BETTER PLAN THAN PLAN ALPHA.

[armoredSkunk]

oh yeah I forgot about the extralife thing

well now that I'm done eating my foot, lynch Solaris

[seastormjt]

...Okay, so we're lynching Solaris to help Dini get his win?

...Sure, why not.

I don't know why Beru didn't say so if she was a miller?

[armoredSkunk]

there's no way she's a miller at this point, she outrighted denied your guilty-claim ss.

[Mirdini]

That's a hammer

[Laset]

As you discuss, you quickly realize that the one called Acionyx - or is it Solaris? - is acting increasingly erratic, and shouting things about sands and heat, and whatnot. You relatively quickly band together to throw ... him? through the Nexus.

You hear a male voice - the same one you heard at the start of all this - inform you that while they WERE a multidimensional entity, they weren't the one that triggered the alarm. So good riddance and all, but they're not even close to being on the right track.

Frustrated and more than a little drained, you go to get some naps.

While you do all this, SeastormJT and Varnock end up smashing some crystals, and go to bed as animals. How odd!

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Aciolaris was a DESERT GUARDIAN - a spirit of the sands, who DID NOT BELONG HERE. Being a spirit of the desert, they knew how to take power from animals, and being a multidimensional entity themselves they knew how to travel between the dimensions, to go home... but didn't have the power.
They were a THIRD-PARTY ANIMAL-DEATH-LEECHER. If they were present for the murder (not lynch) of THREE animals, they would rip open a portal to the desert they called home, and leave the game with a win. Also, they were oneshot BP.
Unfortunately, THEY LOST.

(Mirdini gets one crystal! Woohoo!)

Seven alive, night is ... probably only twentyfour hours, since we're approaching endgame.

[50,000 Unstoppable Watts!]

...Wow. I'm really sorry I stopped playing League of Legends long enough to check up on this.

You guys stress me out, you know that? Nobody has more of a reason to be angry right now than the mafia. We've been playing against a stacked deck since the very beginning. I've been yelling at Sotek this whole time about how bloody screwed up this game is, but I do two things: (1) I keep it to PMs; (2) I try to calm down and explain myself rationally once the anger has subsided. The joke directed towards Acio was the single spot of legitimately uncouth behavior I allowed from myself in the thread, and even that I promptly regretted. Acio is perhaps the only other person who's done any suffering this game, and he replaced out because of it. I sympathize, but I don't condone. At least, I didn't condone, until I read this past day.

I abhor letting out my anger in-game. I try to keep it to a minimum. Clearly a handful of people here don't share that sentiment. Most of them have no right to be angry.

I wanted to tough it out 'til the end. I wanted to be an example of proper etiquette. I wanted to enjoy my first game back. But honestly, I have almost completely stopped giving a shit.

Enclosed is my modkill. Have a nice day.

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You are YOUR NSFW GRANDMOTHER, KING OF CRABAPPLE PASS. You are a revered master of the Chinese Art of Take-Out Fu, you have defeated over twenty CARTESIAN SLUMLORDS, you are an experienced Underwater Tennis player, and you have NO TIME FOR WOMEN. (Despite this, you get all the girls.) Currently you are in search of the Severed Head of Cerberus; towards this end, you have begun research into Steampunk Boxing Gloves. In your previous life, you were a ten-foot-tall sparrow; in the life before that, you were Zeus's left testicle. With your last breath, you curse ZOIDBERG.

Makes heart symbol with hands.

... whoa. That was some GOOD SHIT.
Yeah. You'll totally go with this offer from The Spirit Of Wine Itself.
Sounds like a plan.

Your FIGHTING ABILITIES will let you take out one enemy during the day - and so fast that nobody will even see you move!

You are a MAFIA ONESHOT ANONYMOUS DAYKILLER.

Mafia QT: [LINK]

Oh yeah, and thanks for the warm welcome back.

[Varnock]

Yikes... I disappear for a few days and miss a whole day. And finding the last scum too...

[Mirdini]

And lo, 'twas night, with one of the evil Mafia giving up the good evil fight almost without warning. The mod, in his infinite benevolence, saw that the game was practically finished. And he lifted his fist to crush the game 'neath his modly powers.



But two men had had enough.

Two men stood to fight for their win condition.

Two men - but also one.

PRIME INTELLECT STOOD, AND SPOKE.




"I am Prime Intellect, and I am here to ask you a question. Is a third party not entitled to the glory of his win?


'No,' says the town in unanimity, 'it belongs to us.'
'No,' says the mafia in frustration, 'it belongs to no-one.'
'No,' says the mod in California, 'it belongs to me.'

I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose...


TO WIN."

With a flourish, Prime Intellect pulled out the stash of crystals he had amassed.

"With Solaris gone, there is only one loose end - and that's you, absoluteCertainty."

But the fragment of the SPIRIT OF WINE ITSELF wasn't going down without a fight. She still had one trick up her sleeve - a small flask of DEADLY POISON [wine].

"HEY PANTSMAN. CATCH!" she shouted, throwing an item straight at Prime Intellect as he fiddled around with his stash of minerals.

Then she looked at the label that had been attached to it.

"Miniature... giraffe? SHIT" the Wine Spirit shrieked, as instead of imploding Prime was simply morphed into his ANIMAL FORM. And promptly popped back out with the help of one of his crystals.

Finally putting his newly forged crystalline MACHINE into motion, Prime Intellect stood silently as they formed a circular portal in front of him. The town stood transfixed as the portal hummed, Prime standing expectantly before it - and something began to emerge.

First one leg. Then the other.

Then the waistline.

PRIME INTELLECT'S PANTS HAVE RETURNED

Prime dons his breeches, zips them up, and though nothing visibly changes everyone in room can feel it. His next words come as no surprise to anyone, but that doesn't reduce the terror they feel. Apart from Zombie Abe Lincoln, who had long since discarded such useless emotions.

"Sup guys.

I Obliterate absoluteCertainty as THE SPIRIT OF WINE ITSELF."

The Wine Spirit is promptly obliterated, and the lock-down ceases - it seems she was the MULTIDIMENSIONAL ENTITY that had initially caused the the alarms to go off.

"And now, though I really don't need to give a damn about what that puny spirit wanted, I do believe I'll be claiming my hard-earned reward. In other words"

He glomps down a Crystal, and forces one down each remaining townie's throat as well, turning them all into their ANIMAL FORM. The mod is aghast, but he cannot intervene - not even one as powerful as he can eliminate PRIME SCRATCH INTELLECT. Sotekmod has no choice but to accede.



The last sight the devastated (but theoretically victorious) town has of the Obliterating Scourge is of a lime green miniature giraffe in a white suit, trotting into a blue portal moments before it snaps shut.


Varnock, seastormjt, Crilly and armoredSkunk are promptly returned to their various planes of existence, each wondering if they'd just experienced some sort of surreal nightmare. But they can feel it in their bones. Prime Intellect is out there... somewhere.

[Varnock]

Wait... what?

[seastormjt]

0_0
Whaaaaaaaaaaaat.

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Now if only RCF3 had that kind of closure...

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(Sorry for the unsubtle prod >.>)

[Mirdini]

Here are the relevant flips from my mod-sanctioned flavor-endgame:

absoluteCertainty was THE SPIRIT OF WINE ITSELF.

Actually, that's a lie. She was the EXTREMELY MINOR DEITY of a SPECIFIC LOCAL BREW. The Spirit of Wine Itself was like four ranks above her in the celestial heirarchy. And she wasn't entirely sure what she was doing in the Nexus-place. On the other hand, the local pantheon was pretty bare - if she could convince some local shmucks she *was* The Spirit of Wine Itself, get some worshippers, use the power to do some flashy miracles ... yeah, she'd totally be able to take this place over. After all, she was probably the threat they were talking about anyway.

She was sadly so weak that she'd probably actually die if killed! However, she'd still retained her ability to sense life forces - and would know when someone vanished if they were truly dead or only temporarily gone.

She was a MAFIA DEATH-SENSOR.

Mirdini was PRIME INTELLECT, as seen in META MAFIA, and he had no idea where his pants were. He hoped they'd managed to achieve VICTORY by becoming LORD OF THE DANCE, but, well. That wouldn't help him now! He was somewhere where the powers he had before are gone - he couldn't rewrite the fabric of reality to destroy people, and he was probably completely vulnerable to angry lynch mobs! But since he ALMOST ACHIEVED VICTORY before he ended up here, he was pretty sure that people trying to kill him in the night would fail their first attempt.

Unfortunately, like his pants, he was bound to achieve achieve the WHIMS of a MYSTERIOUS ENTITY - his only hope was to make sure that everyone alive was an ANIMAL simultaneously, before he died! And he even managed to trick the MYSTERIOUS ENTITY into giving him a hint; Nothing anyone could do would have turned Acionyx, Beruru, InoxFy, Red709, or x1372 into animals.

He was a ONESHOT BULLETPROOF THIRD PARTY, who won when all living players were animals.

Don't have the remaining town's roles on-hand, though I think Sotek'll get to those when he gets back (and he'll explain what happened in less flavortastic terms too I believe).

[Mirdini]

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Now if only RCF3 had that kind of closure...

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(Sorry for the unsubtle prod >.>)

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RCF3 deserves more than the ~550 words I've written here (and already has over three times as many). Expect it to be more Quarantine and less Quotefia/this. I mean hey, I've got to set the bar high enough to hang myself with don't I.