HEROBREAK

[Random User]

>Inquire on local eateries.

[actorsAllusion]

What kind of supplies will I be applied with?

[Menen]

Ask him about your powers.

[sinusoidWavelengths]

> Before asking anything perform a silly dance for reasons of sagely importance.

[Kíeros]

> Who, specifically, do I need to defeat?

[Detoura]

> Before asking anything perform a silly dance for reasons of sagely importance.

You know, this was the first command that actually crossed my mind.

IT MUST HAPPEN NOW

[felicitousArtisan]

MINERVA ASKS ALL THE QUESTIONS...

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ALCANOR: If you have no questions, I shall be on my-
MINA: Hold it!
You're damn straight I have questions. I have questions up the metaphorical goddamn wazoo!
ALCANOR: ...Oh. I will try to answer them, Oh Sage.
MINA: Firstly, what's my stake in all this. I mean, what will happen if I decide I don't feel like fighting this guy, and what will I get if I do? Is it one of those bullhonkey "You will gain understanding of yourself," things? Because if it is, I am not interested.
ALCANOR: I-
MINA: Secondly, who or what exactly is this 'Grand Nemesis', and what items, manpower and abilities are you going to supply me with in order to help me out here?
ALCANOR: Uh-
MINA: ...And finally I come to our most important question here. Where the hell am I and where can I get some goddamn food in my current environs!?
ALCANOR: ...Your curiosity is truly the stuff of legends, great hero. I shall try to impart some knowledge, but I fear I don't know everything.
The Grand Nemesis is no man. It is a terrible demon. If left unchecked, it will devour magic from our world, nay, our whole universe!
MINA: Okay, so a magic eating cosmic horror. Great. Do I have any powers I can use against that?
ALCANOR: As the SAGE, you posses mental alacrity and insight beyond that of any human. It is said that a SAGE who reaches their full potential can predict the trajectory of an arrow with a mere glance at the archer's eyes, or forsee the outcome of a battle before it has begun.
MINA: So superhuman thought processing and perception? Okay...I can use that provided I have some reliable allies.
ALCANOR: As for what you will get for beating him I would hypothesise that you and your fellow heroes would be treated as royalty for the rest of your days.
MINA: Okay, money and power. I'm down with money and power. So, onto matters of the present, where are we and what are these artefacts you mentioned earlier?

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ALCANOR: I think your gifts will aid you in knowledge of your whereabouts. Behold! The MACE OF WISDOM! The Mythical RABBIT TOTEM and, of course, your new familiar. She will aid you in communicating with your fellow heroes!
MINA: A gaudy club, a cerulean cony and a really bulky, tacky looking garden ornament. Wow. You're really spoiling me. Seriously, how do these things help me? How does the rabbit help me communicate?
ALCANOR: Tell it the title of the hero to whom you would speak. THE WARRIOR, THE ALCHEMIST, THE PILGRIM, THE RANGER, THE SORCEROR, THE PALADIN or THE ROGUE. She will open a psychic channel. She can also relay geographical information to you if you ask for it. While she cannot speak, she does understand human speech well enough. Do not mistake her for an ordinary lagomorph.
MINA: Right, so she's a psychic smartphone bunny. I'll admit that's not half bad... But what's the ugly-ass totem for?
ALCANOR: Ah, my time grows short. I must away.
MINA: Hey, wait! I'm not done yet!

WAIT GODDAMN IT! YOU BEARDED OLD BASTARD!

So the SAGE was left on her own. She will probably use her familiar to talk to one or more of her comrades. She speculates that given the nature of her powers, trying to find a companion would be a wise move. The person she chooses to speak to first is...

((Thanks for reading so far, everybody!))

[PersonPerson]

The Rabbit.
(it's adawable)
But to be srs I second the sorceror

[King of Clubs]

> The Sorceror.

[Kíeros]

> The ALCHEMIST.

[NickyTheRat]

> The WARRIOR

[CthulhuZuzu]

I also vote for the Alchemist. Get yo smart on.

[Lawface]

the WARRIOR

[actorsAllusion]

The Paladin

[Askia]

develop a deep mistrust for all old bearded wizards

[SNeakyRobot]

> Try to talk to the wizard who just left. You want to know what his stake in all this is. He seems like a suspicious character.

[Tren]

>The WARRIOR
Guys we need a meatshield
badly

[Random User]

>Warrior

[ScabbedAngel]

Yeah, I'm leaning towards the Alchemist

[sinusoidWavelengths]

>Speak to the Warrior. Gain their trust. Use them as a meat shield when the time comes.

[felicitousArtisan]

MINERVA TRIES TO BAG A MEATSHIELD


Yes, a combat-orientated meathead to stand behind would be an asset. The more oblivious, the better. Rabbit, sweetie, patch me through to The Warrior won't you?

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MINA: Hello, is this the Legendary Warrior?
WARRIOR: So...You have decided to contact me...
MINA: Yes, yes I have. You were expecting this?
WARRIOR: Of course. I am the leader of the heroes, so this encounter was decided by fate!
MINA: You're the leader? I wasn't informed we had a leader.
WARRIOR: HEH HEH HEH! You are clearly naive in the ways of the world, but fear not! I shall protect you, my precious NAKAMA!
MINA: Wha-
WARRIOR: FASTER THAN LIGHTNING! SHARPER THAN STEEL! STRONGER THAN THE MOUNTAINS! THE CRIMSON FLASH OF AUDACITY!
LOOK UPON ME AND KNOW FEAR, ALL YOU WHO COMMIT EVIL; I AM HERO RED! TIGER WARRIOR OF COURAGE! MAIRU!
MINA: Oh my god.
WARRIOR: Yes. I am Warrior Red, and this scarlet hue marks me as the leader of this group!
MINA: You're just too perfect.
WARRIOR: Heh heh. Be aware, Ojousan, I will not let the attentions of women get in the way of my goal.
MINA: I understand, um...WARRIOR RED.
I'm Minerva, the SAGE. Or SAGE BLUE to follow your established naming convention. You can call me Mina.
WARRIOR: Okay, Mina-chan.
MINA: Cute. Anyway, what with you being such a courageous warrior and our leader, I was thinking we should try to meet up.
My abilities are not suited to direct combat.
WARRIOR: Yes...hnn, we must try to gather our nakama. The Ojiisan who summoned me here said that our familiars can lead us
to each other if we ask them. We should try to travel towards each other.
MINA: Yes. That sounds reasonable. I just wish I had some way of carrying this ridiculous totem. I'm using it as an impromptu stool right now.
WARRIOR: You were not told about your elsewhere storage?
MINA: I was not. Enlighten me?
WARRIOR: We can summon weapons and objects from a pocket dimension at will. I have already tried it and found it convenient.
MINA: Okay, that's neat. Thank you.
Oh, and before I set off on my journey, I forgot to ask your name...
WARRIOR: Ah of course...

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A no doubt beautiful Ojou from amongst my precious nakama asks my name. I AM WARRIOR RED AND MY NAME IS-

[Askia]

"Red Dragon" the obnoxious

[SNeakyRobot]

> Joe.

[Tren]

Oh god this is just perfect

>Joseph Kawazukotakamoto Smith I, but your friends like to call you Joe.

[Kíeros]

"Red Dragon" the obnoxious

Agreed; this is one of the best names for an uppity protagonist I've ever seen.