>Joe: Do some incredibly trite speech to the monster before kicking its ass
> You two need to make star charts and somehow transmit them to each other. Perhaps by relating them point by point on a grid system? Sounds tedious, but there's gotta be a celestial method of directly calculating relative position.
> Joe: SHADOW CLONE JUSTU!!
> Mina: You know what to do, snap this guy into some sense before he gets killed!
IS THAT MAGIC!?!?!?
Sage: Have the sudden urge to rattle his brains by yelling through the telepathy.
Mina> Try finding someone closer to you. Perhaps the Paladin? That sounds fightery, right?
Holy-- the creator of Fan Dan Go is running an MSPA-style webcomic?!
My life is complete.
That said...
> Joe: Deal with this Nobody-looking thing first. You can talk to Mina later. Besides, with any luck, the sounds of battle will transmit through your walkie-tiger and she will be overcome with adoration for your sheer badassitude.
Jou > Fight
Mina > In the meantime, talk to your familiar about your whereabouts and situation. Learn.
>Perform an overly elaborate and flashy attack, shouting the name of the attack beforehand so the monster knows exactly what you're about to do.
DON'T LOSE, JOE!
JOE: So, you intend to fight me... Are you a minion of THAT Nemesis!?
I cannot allow myself to lose to you here! I WILL PROTECT MY PRECIOUS NAKAMA!!
MINA: Joe, who the hell are you talking to? Is there an enemy there or something?
????: Hi!
MINA: Agh! What the hell?
????: Oh, sorry! Is this a bad time?
JOE: Tte! KISAMA-!
MINA: Just our WARRIOR fighting something. Or possibly cracking under the strain. Maybe both.
????: Well, that explains why he was unresponsive! I'm the RANGER. I thought I'd check on everybody and compare notes.
By the way, if you ask your familiar, you'll be able to see what he's doing so long as he's awake and doesn't deliberately block the signal. SORCEROR told me that.
MINA: Really? Hey, rabbit, can you show me what WARRIOR is up to? Oh wow. This is really strange.
Also, good god, look at that man's abs...I was expecting him to look more...dorky.
JOE: TORYAAA!
????: Lupa, can you show me the WARRIOR? ...Oh my. Those are some abs. He's dorky?
MINA: He's a complete doofus from what I've heard from him. Keeps shouting all this Japanese manga crap.
????: Oh, thanks!
MINA: For what?
????: Ah! No, I was talking to somebody else. People keep contacting me with info and status updates.
MINA: You didn't waste any time getting in touch with everybody.
????: Yeah well, I'm just that type I guess. People say I'm kind of fussy sometimes.
Do you guys have a plan yet? ROGUE just told me that there's transport in this world. Airships and trains and the like.
We're planning on heading for settlements so that we can get information and supplies and then travel where we need to go. I think we might be a long way from each other.
MINA: Okay, there's a town about an hour's walk from where I am. I can see it. I'll make my way there. I'll tell Joe to head for a settlement too.
JOE: LET'S END THIS! SHINING TIGER THOUSAND BLOSSOM---
JOE: CUT!!!
MINA: Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for Joe.
????: Well done, Joe!
JOE: Wait, who's this lady?
????: Ah, sorry guys, I gotta go handle something! Talk to you later! Stay safe!
MINA: Hm. RANGER, huh?
-----
((The OOC ghetto))
Holy crap, a wild Fan Dan Go reader appears!There is only one course of action! I must put on huge flares, concussion draw everybody, then abscond! SHUE-!
NO, DON'T LEAVE MEEEEEE...![]()
Mina, tell Joe to get moving, then try contacting someone else on your walk. How about the ALCHEMIST?
Ranger> What's the emergency!?
> Just be Mina. Too many heroes at once will be overwhelming.
Mina > Travel to the town you can see, talking to your familiar all the way.
Thirding the Stick with Mina thing.
IS THAT MAGIC!?!?!?
> Be that creepy wizard that tells people what to do, then dissapears.
> Mina: Contact the sorcerer, they seem to know what they're doing
> Mina: You're supposed to be the wise one, so notice that you could hear the Ranger talking to someone else--the Warrior probably heard your side of the conversation too. Fortunately he seems a little... slow...
Agents of Chaos: An adventure about superheroes and society only slightly held back by being text-only
WHO CARES ABOUT THE RANGER, ANYWAY?
I'm sure whatever the Ranger is doing, it's probably just her usual goody-two-shoes meddlesome self. Probably found an animal that needs a hug or some nonsense. We can follow her trite adventures later. For now, the SAGE is a far more interesting subject...
JOE: So who was that? One of our NAKAMA?
MINA: I'm assuming that means a companion or ally, which is what she is. She's the RANGER.
JOE: Her voice is SUGEI KAWAII!
MINA: Kawaii means 'cute' right? It wasn't actually her voice, just a mental projection of it; maybe she sounds nothing like that in person.
JOE: Even if she doesn't, the voice of her mind no doubt betrays the sweetness of her heart!
MINA: ...Hmmmm...Actually the fact that you could hear her raises an issue.
Presumably when we make a connection to see one of our allies, that person can hear you. In other words, if you're going to snoop, do it carefully unless you want them to notice you're watching.
JOE: We can see each other?
MINA: Oh yeah, you were distracted, weren't you? Tell your familiar who you want to look at.
JOE: Yo, Furio, show me the RANGER!
MINA: Don't mind me. Also, Furio?
JOE: Oh man, she is Kawaii! I think she might be asian! Asian girls are totally my type!
MINA: Never would have guessed that. As I was asking, is Furio the name of your familiar?
JOE: Yeah! Like from Phoenix Wright! Have you named yours yet? You can't just call it 'Rabbit' all the time like a n00b.
MINA: I can if I want. But I will call her Ariel....and if you ask me if that's a reference to a Disney Film...
JOE: Duuh it's from The Tempest! Prospero's magic servant thing!
MINA: ...You know Shakespeare.
JOE: MOCHIRON YO! I own all the Manga Shakespeare books! That one was Paul Duffield, pre-'Freakangels'.
What do you think I am, some ignorant idiot who only reads Japanese stuff? Kanbenshite kure-!
MINA: Okay so I can broaden my opinion of you from 'only reads Japanese comic books' to 'only reads Japanese-style comic books'.
One giant leap for mankind.
JOE: Oh! She's trying to talk to me! BAI BAI!
MINA: Joe! Head toward a town, okay? ...Are you even? Never mind, little miss kawaiipants can help you.
MINA: Ugh. I know he'll have his uses but that that obnoxious dumbass gives me a headache, Ariel.
Let's see if we can't find some more intellectually stimulating conversation. Get me the ALCHEMIST.
MINA: Hi, is this the ALCHEMIST?
ALCHEMIST: Chances are that since you have asked to dial a direct psychic link to me, it's gonna be me.
MINA: Right, yeah. Sorry, I've been dealing with a real idiot until now.
ALCHEMIST: So, what do you need?
MINA: Just wanted to know where you were and what time it was there.
ALCHEMIST: I'm in this scrapheap place full of broken airships and crap. It's night time and friggin' dark and I hear monsters scoping me out.
I'm gonna have to fashion some kind of rubbish fort and squat in it til morning minecraft style. Happy happy joy joy, wooo.
MINA: Oh....wow. I'm just on a mountain.
ALCHEMIST: Do you seriously need anything from me?
Because I'm actually pretty busy right now fearing for my life and trying to find suitable materials for an uncomfortable hovel.
MINA: I guess not. Sorry to disturb you.
ALCHEMIST: Later.