First Impressions: sCREW YOU, i DO WHAT i WANT

[ponytailArtist]

==> Be the Bluh Bluh Huge Bitch


Hah!!!!!!!! I 8et you'd like that, wouldn't you? Can't say I 8lame ya; I am pretty fucking awesome. 8etcha we'd make a kickass team; You guys would totally tell me what to do and I'd 8e all like "8ooyah!!!!!!!!" and then we'd rock this country like a hurricane!

Too 8ad, suckers. May8e another time. ;;;;)



==> Lieutenant: Give the commander the bad news.


D:< > OKAY, THE THING ABOUT GIVING NEPETA BAD NEWS IS THAT SHE BARELY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ANYTHING. WHETHER IT'S JUST BECAUSE NO ONE EVER FUCKING LISTENS TO ME OR JUST BECAUSE SHE GENUINELY DOESN'T CARE IS UP FOR DEBATE. SERIOUSLY, YOU WILL HAVE A HELL OF A TIME TRYING TO FIGURE THAT ONE OUT. AND THAT'S ONLY ASSUMING I HAVE ANYTHING THAT CAN QUALIFY AS BAD NEWS. OR HELL, ANY NEWS AT ALL!

D:< > NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG; NEP ISN'T A BAD CHIEF OR ANYTHING. SHE MANAGES FOOD STOCKS, LEADS THE HUNT, LOOKS OUT FOR THE PEOPLE'S WELL BEING, THAT SORT OF THING. JUST WISH SHE'D STOP BEING SO DAMN QUIET ABOUT IT, BECAUSE HALF THE TIME, MOST OF US DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE'S UP TO. LIKE RIGHT NOW, FOR INSTANCE. DIDN'T EVEN SEE HER AT FUCKING BREAKFAST.

Vantas Tribe: Be the one who is secretly behind everything while pretending to be the most pathetic of everyone.

>Karkat: Be an RPG hero sent on a quest find a magic sword to slay Demon Lord Feferi!

D:< > OH WOW, THANKS A LOT FOR REMINDING ME OF ALL THE COOL SHIT I COULD BE DOING. YEAH, I COULD BE OUT THERE, VANQUISHING EVIL AND SHIT, AND LETTING OUT ALL THIS PENT UP AWESOME THAT'S BEEN GATHERING IN EVERY DAMN CREVICE OF MY BODY. IF THERE EXISTED A SCALE TO MEASURE JUST HOW BORING AN ACTIVITY COULD BE, THIS FUCKING DESK JOB WOULD HAVE SMASHED IT WITH A HAMMER AND DUMPED THE REMAINS INTO THE NEAREST VOLCANIC REGION, WHEREIN EXPLOSIVE CHARGES WOULD RELEASE A RIVER OF MAGMA RIGHT ON TOP OF WHAT'S LEFT OF THE DAMN THING.

D:< > ALRIGHT, SO IF IT SOMEHOW ISN'T OBVIOUS YET, LET ME STATE OUTRIGHT THAT I HATE THIS JOB. AT THE VERY LEAST THEY COULD HAVE LENT ME A COMPUTER TO TYPE WITH, BUT NOOOOO, LET'S MAKE KARKAT DO THIS AS SLOW AND PAINFUL AS FUCKING POSSIBLE. YOU KNOW WHAT I MISS? WHEN I GOT TO HUNT FOR SHIT AND EAT IT! SIMPLE, AWESOME, AND THE BARE MINIMUM REQUIRED TO SURVIVE WITHOUT THIS PAPERWORK BULLSHIT INVOLVED.

D:< > EVEN NEP, BEING IN CHARGE AND ALL, FINDS TIME TO DO JUST THAT, AND HERE I AM, KEEPING TRACK OF WHAT EVERYONE ELSE KILLS AND WHETHER WE'RE RUNNING SHORT ON FOOD OR FUNDS OR WHATEVER. WE ARE, BY THE WAY. JUST A HEADS UP.

D:< > IN HINDSIGHT, MAYBE *THAT'S* WHY NEP IS BEING ALL SECRETIVE ABOUT HER BULLSHIT. WE BARELY SEE HEAD OR TOE OF HER NOWADAYS, AND EVEN IF WE DID, WE'D BE LUCKY TO GET THE TIME OF DAY OUT OF HER MOUTH. REMIND ME TO SCREAM AT HER ABOUT THAT LATER.

D:< > BY THE WAY, AS COOL AS VANTAS SOUNDS, MY NAME IS KARKAT LEIJON. GET IT RIGHT, FUCKHEADS.



==>


D:< > WOAH WOAH WOAH WAIT.

D:< > WHO THE FUCK IS THAT? AND WHY IS SHE LEAVING FROM NEP'S ROOM OF ALL PLACES? THAT PLACE IS SEVERAL KINDS OF *OFF FUCKING LIMITS*



==> Nepeta: Explain why you attacked that biclops.


>:|| > You're probably thinking that the biclops was property of Captor's forces, and you'd be half right. This fellow was imported from Captor territory and was serving Peixes as a bodyguard, and in turn, they got their own cool monster to play with. This kind of tradeoff between tribes isn't too uncommon; After all, certain species, food, and various products are unique to each region that most others will want. Besides that, we need to maintain some relations with the other groups if we want to avoid conflict. Though obviously that's not the case anymore.

>:|| > I would absolutely love to explain more, such as why I killed the damn thing, but I'm busy. The longer this takes, the more likely I am to get caught, so hush and let me work.

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==>pA's first impression of Karkat

This was when I was actually reading Homestuck, so it's not so different from his regular shtick. Loud and obnoxious and whiny, yet trying to stay productive despite that. Yet no one listens to him. Poor schmuck.

And no, I did not envision him as a catboy. Just part of the adventure, is all. Whether this is awesome or not is up to you.



I have no clue if this kind of narrative style works yet. Bear with me folks. @_@

[makuta]

May8e another time. ;;;; )

I shall hold you to that then, Vriska Serket.



It seems that you're going by your original interpretations of the trolls, ponytailArtist. Which probably means Eridian is going to be some sort of badass.

[Destruction Dragon 360]

Nepeta: There may or may not be a human with a shitty SORD..... in your vicinity.

[Kíeros]

> Karkat: Chase after that girl.

[Snowmanne]

>Equius and Eridan: be having a tea party on the pink moon with The Felt

[pygmyLioness]

Still waiting for a tentaclebeast battle.

[JordanTH]

I'll be honest. When I saw the words "rock" and "like a hurricane", I started reading Vriska's lines in abridged Vegeta's voice.

[Elkian]

Troll that is most likely Cosmo: Oh snap it's the fuzz! Cheese it!

[Gent]

>Individual being bodyguarded: Fight or Flight! Advance or Abscond!

I can't say whether to fight or flee, as I don't know who the biclops was guarding. But a bodyguard usually guards a person, so it was probably guarding someone.

[Destruction Dragon 360]

Troll that is most likely Cosmo: Oh snap it's the fuzz! Cheese it!

...Oh cod I can't believe I didn't recognize her! Dammit, I knew I should hang out with your guys' crew more often!(and probably lay off the lesbeer too, hehehe)

[Edrobot]

Anger Crabman: Be Karkat's boss because it's ironic.

[Edrobot]

Karkat: Seriously though, today you're going to find a magic sword and become an RPG hero. The magic sword is named "Mongo" and it talks and is very obnoxious. And you're going to assemble a quirky band of misfits who are going to help you stop a war being perpetuated by the demon lord for some sinister reason. And you're going to hate every minute of it.

[OrangeAipom]

Vriska can spin webs?

Awesome.

[cryinglaughter]

Karkat: Chase after trespassing catgirl


And, +1 new reader :'D
This adventure has a LOT of promise C:

[UpsidePickle]

I am liking this already.

Karkat: Release the pent-up awesome, get up from your desk, and demand an explanation from this trespasser.

[ponytailArtist]

==> Karkat: Release the pent-up awesome, get up from your desk, and demand an explanation from this trespasser.




==>




==> Be the individual being bodyguarded.


H------ELLO~

My name is Feferi Peixes and I am currently the happiest troll princess in the universe!

Can you guess w)(y? Can ya? )(u)(?



==>


Because someone's trying to cull me AND start a war!!

SQU------E--------E~~~

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==> pA's first impression of Feferi:

Right after seeing Nepeta for the first time, I got to listen to THIS MUSIC while looking at THIS PANEL.

First thought: Splash Woman. Right down to the fanservice-y shtick.

Second thought: Crazy happy fish lady who flies around on a magic trident, Splash Woman style, a tiny bit psychotic yet rational enough to resist the urge to show you her stabs.

Wow, my brain is all kinds of what the hell, isn't it? AND THAT'S WHY THIS IS THE BEST IDEA EVER

[Cresent]

Oh dear. Oh dear. This can't possibly end well... in fact, it is not even beginning so.

> Feferi: So, uh... Where are you now, exactly?

> Karkat: Use the opportunity presented to finally vent your pent-up anger at someone. Oh, and mentally lament about your predicament of being stuck with this stupid job some more.

[sovereignRobotics]

squee~
I will never see Feferi the same way.
Ever.
+1 reader, aw yea

>Cat-Troll: Wuuut you can't do that-
Karkat: OBJECTION~!
Then demand what she's doing

[JustAnotherUser]

...Anyone else think Trespasser Troll looks like Cosmo?

Karkat: Commence the Yelling!

[Kíeros]

Karkat> Run over, grab the boxes, then knock her down on the ground.

[Eagle0600]

...Anyone else think Trespasser Troll looks like Cosmo?

Troll that is most likely Cosmo: Oh snap it's the fuzz! Cheese it!

In other words, yes.

[Gent]

>Feferi: Notify your tribe of this attack! You seem to be getting pretty ------EXCIT------ED about the prospect of war, so get your people ready for one!

[Druplesnubb]

Feferi: Make a mental note. when you get old and weak, you will choose to die by flying into the sun, puncturing it with your trident and making it bleed lava on the enitre world. If you don't get to live anymore, noone else will either.

[Gira]

If it makes you feel any better, that is my preferred interpretation of Feferi too.

Anyway, +1 reader.

[Elkian]

Nepeta: Turn out only to be platonically hateful of Feferi. Be massively creeped out.
Feferi: Ain't give a dam.