KILL SIX BILLION DEMONS (NSFW) - NOW A FRUITY WEBCOMIC

[ODK]

end up as an allison without a dye job

You cannot be Allison without a dye job because you, like, TOTALLY DONT HAVE ONE

Land already... Please?

> Allison: Remember, a cool cat always lands on its feet.

YOU ARE COOL, AND FUN AND PREPPY AND ALSO HURTLING THROUGH INFINITY BUT ITS OK, BECAUSE YOU'RE TOTALLY GOING TO LAND ON YOUR-

>
> Portal shenanigans: End suddenly
> Allison: Fall flat on face.

>Land in a disgraceful heap

fuck

you have reached your destination

[PersonPerson]

Look around when you can get up.

[Bloddyredcommie]

Eye of Gog-Agog: Figure out some way to communicate with your useless luimp of a host.

[ODK]

ok you're looking around now-w-w-w OW


oh boy. Your mind is a LITTLE bit fuzzy right now, just like if you'd been PARTYING ALL NIGHT which you TOTALLY DO ALL THE TIME. There's gross snot and tears and sweat all over your body and your makeup which you spent like 2 HOURS trying to get in some kind of presentable, TOTALLY NORMAL AND ACCEPTABLE TEASING BUT NOT TOO SLUTTY STANDARD is totally ruined.

you're fairly sure there was a large mustachoied man and a cat and nine hundred screaming faces and your right eye totally hurts like you just jabbed it with eyeliner but you can see out of it again.

Look around when you can get up.

There's air in here and it's rather warm and humid... and it smells of books. BOOKS! You TOTALLY weren't thinking of anything of the sort in transit. Like you'd want to go to some sort of LIBRARY where you're safe from all those horrible bitch- FRIENDS.

Eye of Gog-Agog: Figure out some way to communicate with your useless luimp of a host.

As the Eye of Gog-Agog you must replenish your METAFORCE and MANA before taking any other actions. You recede into Allison's eldritch tramp sta- mark of Gog-Agog. Your master, Gog-Agog will be pleased.

God you hate that guy's name

[Mibbs]

youre all alone now, theres no reason to be dishonest to yourself

[Kaynato]

WHY HADN'T I FOUND THIS GEM YET

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING

> BOOKS? Can you find any, see any, get anything to clean yourself with, see yourself with, get a grasp of things?

[PersonPerson]

Read a book when you're all cleaned up.
Specifically one with glowing text.

[Solaris]

GET SOME CLOTHES YOUNG LADY

[Lurkmeister]

Allison: search through the books (carefully, you don't want some demonic book eating your nails), and see if you can read them. Also find some way to clothe yourself. Possibly by making Eldritch Robes of the Librarian, made from an assortment of tomes, grimoires, books, journals, scrolls, and pages.
Also, find the Twilight series, or this dimension's equivalent, and use it to wipe all of the snot and phlegm and such off of you.

Gog Agog: replenish your mana by making Allison eat bread and / or making fun of Allison in order to think highly of yourself and / or sapping it from persons of great authority and prestige, such as Theodore Roosevelt, Friedrich Nietzsche, or whoever invented capes.

[Bloddyredcommie]

Construct clothing out of books.

[Medea]

> Molest books with your eyes.

[Anthano Zasalla]

Find books. Passively open them and glance, uninterested, at every word on every page. Definitely not taking any of it in or enjoying it or getting giddy about books, or anything. Words belong in, like, textbooks? And no girl as fun and peppy as yourself bothers with any of that?

[98714123340]

Does any of the books even have comprehensible text?

[KibbleSalad]

> Survey yon surroundings in detail!

[Varkarrus]

Gog Agog: Tell a bunch of dumb blonde jokes
Allision: Accidentally set fire to the library

(hehe prequel)

[Chair_Man]

Allison: Look around the library in a cool and perky manner. Not like you are about to be OVERWHELMED by the seductive smell of literature or anything. That totally is not your style.

[ODK]

----INTERLUDE----

Be a mime.
[Or whatever the black n white one is.]

You cannot be ALLY O'MALLY RUDY PATOOTIE because you're currently in a KICKIN RAD POKER GAME with BILBO THE RABBIT and MAX THE CAT. Also in another dimension.

Gog Agog: replenish your mana

Gog Agog: Tell a bunch of dumb blonde jokes

You cannot be GOG AGOG THE TENTACULAR, LORD OF THE OGLING REACHES because GOG AGOG is a Level 980 ARCH DEVIL, has plenty of BREAD, VIRGIN SACRIFICES, and SMUGNESS to keep his mana up thankyou very much. You can only be one of his many servants, the EYES OF GOG-AGOG, sent forth to do his terrible, fiendish will.

GOG AGOG is sorely tempted to make dumb blonde jokes, however.

----INTERLUDE END----

[PersonPerson]

Be Allison again and do whatever the all of the voices were saying about the books.

[ODK]

Construct clothing out of books.

Also find some way to clothe yourself. Possibly by making Eldritch Robes of the Librarian, made from an assortment of tomes, grimoires, books, journals, scrolls, and pages.
Also, find the Twilight series, or this dimension's equivalent, and use it to wipe all of the snot and phlegm and such off of you.

GET SOME CLOTHES YOUNG LADY

You briefly consider, like, tearing up a bunch of these musty and TOTALLY HARMLESS LOOKING old books and constructing some kind of makeshift clothing/robe out of them. This top is pretty busted up, and you've sweated all over it now, it's going to get pretty gross if you're stuck in some alternate reality for an extended period of time.

Then again, it could be pretty, um, dangerous to tear up books with freaky text on the front. You just landed here, and all the .... uh, beauty magazines you have read CLEARLY warn against touching stuff like that.

youre all alone now, theres no reason to be dishonest to yourself

But you're like, THE WORST JUDGE OF ALL. Seriously, you don't like to admit it but besides being FUN AND PEPPY and liking HAIR AND NAILS AND... boys i guess? your self confidence is about as fragile as an ancient chinese vase made out of glass balanced on a giant stack of cards being built by an old korean man with Parkinson's disease.

[alexthewhite]

Allison: try and read a random book. Find that you inexplicably understand the mysterious language contained within.

Eye of Gog-Agog: Explain how to replenish your supplies of metaforce and mana in as oblique a manner as possible.

[ODK]

Allison: Look around the library in a cool and perky manner. Not like you are about to be OVERWHELMED by the seductive smell of literature or anything. That totally is not your style.

DUH!

Find books. Passively open them and glance, uninterested, at every word on every page. Definitely not taking any of it in or enjoying it or getting giddy about books, or anything. Words belong in, like, textbooks? And no girl as fun and peppy as yourself bothers with any of that?

> BOOKS? Can you find any, see any, get anything to clean yourself with, see yourself with, get a grasp of things?

Mostly, you, like, um, totally....

...Ugh. Mostly you really can't stand the thought of tearing up books. Books are your friends, though you would never admit it in public, or around your heartless harpy bit- sorority sisters. In high school you were a bit on the, uh, heavier side. You spent a lot of time in the library going through stacks of Lovecraft, Poe, Asimov. Your appetite was voracious. Every time you were having a shitty day, books would be there, waiting for you, with their papery smell and warm, friendly texture. You've got a kind of connection to literature, that, as much as you try to hide it, was at one point a big part of how you made it through the week.

Read a book when you're all cleaned up.
Specifically one with glowing text.

> Molest books with your eyes.

So, reverting to old habit, you take a look around. You need to calm down and stop freaking out anyway before you take a look around. This is probably the...

... ok, someone might be watching. This is probably the uh, totally shittiest day you've had for, like, a long time so you might as well TOTALLY INDULGE YOURSELF in LITERATURE which you NEVER READ. At least it might calm you down a bit.

You look at some of the books laying around. Some are in ASTRAL SPEECH.

... wait, ASTRAL SPEECH? you have, like, no idea why you know that.

Some, weirdly enough, are in English. They have titles like.

1001 THINGS HIDDEN UNDER BEDS
34 GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACIES IN THE YEAR 1989, EARTH 23
REAPING THE WHIRLWHIND : INSIDE THE ORDER OF THE SKULL KNIGHTS
THINGS BILL CONNOR NEVER TOLD HIS WIFE
BLACK SECRETS OF THE KAM-AKUR

Your eye lights upon one in front of you.

SEXUAL PROCLIVITIES OF EVERYONE (KNOWN UNIVERSE), ANNUAL EDITION 34555188990

you really don't want to read that one.

[PersonPerson]

Look at whatever that shadow on the wall is coming from.

[negativeProximity]

Find a secluded corner and calm yourself by VORACIOUSLY DEVOURING unread books with your eyes. As in reading them. Because, y'know, it's not like there's anything to do here anyways. And if there was like, a party or something you'd TOTALLY BE HITTING IT UP RIGHT NOW. But there's NOT, so you need to do something and... start reading until things make sense again.

[Mibbs]

read the black secrets, and also see what they have labeled you in SEXUAL PROCLIVITIES OF EVERYONE

[pikajens]

Take "SEXUAL PROCLIVITIES OF EVERYONE (KNOWN UNIVERSE), ANNUAL EDITION 34555188990". Not to read leisurely, but for reference material for blackmail purposes.

Unless of course, that particular book is bigger than you.

EDIT: Also flip through 34 GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACIES IN THE YEAR 1989, EARTH 23 to see if Earth 23 is where you originally come from.