KILL SIX BILLION DEMONS (NSFW) - NOW A FRUITY WEBCOMIC

[ODK]

> Violently ask what a devil aspirant is.

You ask whatttt the FUCK is a fujking DEVIL ASHPIRIN

Thou WOULD like to know what wouldn't thee? sputters the book.
Seems as though thou hast picked up a level of DEVIL due to thy constant SELF DECEPTION

whatever, fjucin bok dosnt know sh.... watever.

ughhh you are feeling a bit -

>Allison: Throw up on book

OH THIS WILL NOT DO

Demoniac: Smack her with one of the covers. Or punch her, if it's possible for you to do so.
Or just tell her to calm the fuck down. Maybe tell her to take a nap or something.

>Demoniac: Hey, don't you take this FAHGELLBRONE-shit from this poser blonde who can't hold her demonic spirits (intentional pun, yes indeed!); you gotta PUSH BACK! With KNOWLEDGE!

In retrospect, you probably used too much KNOWLEDGE

[Whimbrel]

>Gain metasouls instead of being annihilated?!

[ODK]

You are OSCAR again.

Having COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN about your maiden captive, you are in the middle of an IMPORTANT BUSINESS TRANSACTION. It was not very simplesome, very grueling HARD, and took quite a lot of your power to acquire the Fate Book, but now you're getting what you came for.



You are at O'MALLEY'S, your favorite META-TAVERN in the WHITE CITY. You like it because it's cheap, filthy, and the hostesses don't USUALLY try to eat you after your business, though once you had a nasty run in with a parasite that tried to replace your head. They also serve CANDARIAN BLOOD MALT which is illegal in about 99% of the other districts of the city. At least, the ones that are semi-permanent.

The book is COLD in your claws, as they always are. You hate the dark magic that surrounds it something fiercely, it makes you itchy and you're gladsome to be rid of it.

Sitting across the table from you are two minions of BAALZ-ABAB in their pressed suits and lapels. You were always a bit jealous of their FANCISOME get up, but then again, you value your ability to drink, wench, and murder freely. Being part of the largest crime family in the metaverse run by a BLACK MASTER OF DESPAIR seems a little too directed for your tastes.

But they do have a lot of gold.

You've done good work, my friend, says the small one. The big one remains silent. He gives you the shivers something worrisome.
The gold and hundredweight soulstrate will be a secure account at the Goblin's Union three particks from now.

He pauses, as though expecting something to happen.
The book, you say, pushing your cheek as you are wont to do, and mainly because you are terribly, terribly curious and prone to outbursts of incredibly rudeness, what does Old Scratch awant with it anyway?

He's got most of the others, says the little one hoarsely. Some crock of shit about Fate and how a VIRGIN with a HAIR OF TWO COLORS is destined to slay him.

You scratch yourself knowingly and nod, not having any idea what he's talking about.


Say, you don't recognize this do you? Old Bones is offering a Duchy and two thousandweight soulstrate for her capture, for his harem, he says. If ya ever lay eyes on her pretty little mug, me and AVASH here will split the bounty three ways, devil's word. Under the table like. Personally I don't know what's so special about her, she ain't even got horns to speak of.



Well that's interesting. That's very interesting.

You may have just concocted a plan to get FILTHY RICH.

I must worrisomely proclaim I have n-



FJUCK

[Whimbrel]

>Kill your first demon!

[CryCold]

>Oscar: Grab bimbo. Flee from joint. You've just lied to the demon-mafia and they'll be after your blood.
>Allison: Stay Grimdunk. Pick Barfight.

[Mibbs]

Allison: hit on the big one

[98714123340]

Allison > Take the fate book

Allison > Know kung fu

[Lurkmeister]

Allison: vomit! Vomit like your life depends on it! And use your new-found knowledge to figure out what the fuck to do! (Knowledge blasts work like that, right? I don't know.)
Eye of Gog Agog: do some magic or something! Those Baalz-Abab goons are going to try and kidnap your host, and she's destined to kill Baalz-Abab! This is her purpose, and by extension, yours as well!
Oscar: have a change of heart or something. Punch those guys with about 340 arms each.

Schrodinger's Cat: PISS ON THE BIG GUY'S FACE

[PersonPerson]

what crycold said

[Redux]

>Allison: Land butt-first against the larger demon before assessing situation

>Oscar: Quickly disguise bimbo before she assesses the situation

[pikajens]

You are improperly dressed, grab the coat at all costs!!!

[Godbot]

> Try to pass her off as some sort of lesser insecurity demon/devil/daemon

[YoshiEgg360]

> Oscar: "...I mean, I must confidently proclaim that I would very much like that Duchy and two thousandweight soulstrate... But not to share..."

> Oscar: Kill them both and the reward is all yours.

[Iarei]

>Allison: Grab Avash by the horns and ride him around the bar like a mechanical bull, brandishing a broken bottle of candarian blood malt and hurling curses at the patrons.

[Doofaeus]

>Allison - Show off your stabs/still be coursing with book energy and fry one of those thugs. OR BOTH

[Anthano Zasalla]

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Holy meta-hell, you draw really quickly for a cat.

> FOOT -> FACE

[suomynonAyletamitlU]

> Oh god what's going on. Don't think like a bimbo. Think like a kickass. Action star. Thing. Think like a--
> Throw up on them

[Murder]

Allison: DARK KNOWLEDGE DISCHARGE

[alexthewhite]

Allison and Oscar: Immediately forge a friendship as warriors are wont to do in the thick of battle. Let nothing but the two of you leave this bar alive; not even the insects. Especially not even the insects.

[Bloddyredcommie]

Minions of BAALZ-ABAB: Recognize the EYE of GOG-AGOG, assume Allison to be some sort of powerful sorceress or legendary hero and flee for your lives.

[Ed]

> Oscar: snatch her quickly and try to dissimulate.

[Soadreqm]

> Oscar: You have some options here. You could pretend that you meant to do that, and split the WENCH MONEY three ways. Or you could grab her and run, and try to concoct a plan to get all the money. Say, are you the kind of demon who is happy to cooperate and share with other demons if it means keeping out of trouble? Because I don't think you are.

[Morphimus]

> Smack the little hat off of that big guy's head and run like the wind.

[Kaynato]

> WHOOPS, I KILLED A DEMON.

[ClarifiedCorrection]

>Continue to barf green goop on everything