>duck and roll the Kunai, cut thought a shopping center and double back to your house to regroup and study
>duck and roll the Kunai, cut thought a shopping center and double back to your house to regroup and study
>Narrowly dodge the kunai, only to be blasted with a magical curse of your own: Token Gay. You are the only male in the harem, and must desperately fight to prevent yourself from attempting to sway him.
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Agents of Chaos: An adventure about superheroes and society only slightly held back by being text-only
>Kiyoshi's Hot Mom: Arrive
You just gotta keep running. Maybe you can lure them far enough away from Takeshi to...
Wait... Was that your mother? What's she-
>Duck and roll the Kunai, cut thought a shopping center, and double back to your house to regroup and study.
These are all things that a cool, suave protagonist would think to do. You are none of these.
You take a kunai to the head like an idiot instead.
Witch: All right, you little bastard. I've come to...
Witch: Dammit. Already one dead this early in the game. If only I could've-
Kiyoshi: Hey. Could you either kill me quickly or help me? Either way. This really hurts.
Witch: Huh. You're alive.
Kiyoshi: I'm... not sure how.
Witch: Wait... I thought you were the BEST FRIEND.
Kiyoshi: I am.
Witch: No. You're not. See... I should've known when you didn't... I didn't mean... You know what? There's a lot to explain and possibly not a lot of time to explain it. So, let's just hurry up.
Kiyoshi: Why should I trust you?
Witch: Because I could PROBABLY just blast your head off your shoulders right now, and I'm not.
Kiyoshi: Point taken.
Witch: Now. Let see if I can't help fix you up real quick and explain. Where did you want to start?
>Start with the possesion/curse thing.
Can't draw. Can't plot. Can bullshiz a little.
Tvtropes Migrant. be advised.
I am forced to use the greatest surgical instrument of all: insanity!
> Kiyoshi is actually has Toon Immortality: Injuries have no lasting effect as long as they are inflicted in a humorous way.
> He may be the secret protagonist.
Witch: You should probably just remove that. You should be okay.
Kiyoshi: IT'S A KNIFE IN MY HEAD! How would I be okay?
Witch: If it was going to kill you, the game would've killed you already. Obviously, you don't have a dying role. At least, not yet.
Witch: I was sure you were the BEST FRIEND though. You fit the profile. You hang out with the MAIN CHARACTER, and you are his friend. Then again, that would explain why you didn't try to lead me to him.
Witch: How you holding up there, kid?
>Start with the possesion/curse thing.
Kiyoshi: HOW DO YOU THINK!?
Witch: Oh good. It didn't kill you. Looks like I was right.
Kiyoshi: YOU WEREN'T SURE!?
Witch: 95%. Either way, I needed to see if you'd live. It's important information for saving your friend.
Kiyoshi: You mind explaining what's going on?
Witch: There's a LOT to cover. Be more specific.
Kiyoshi: Let's start off with this curse and the fact that you seem to get possessed.
Witch: Ah. Excellent place to start. Okay. So you seem to have some resistance to the game and its effects. How much do you know?
Kiyoshi: Game? Anyway, a gypsy told me my friend was cursed and that only I could save him. I kinda also figured out that for some strange reason, he's cursed with a dangerous harem of sexy women.
Witch: Ah. Good good. I'm not 100% on the details myself, but I have some theories. Your friend is caught in an Adult Romance Game, also known as an Ero Game or Eroge for short. They usually take the form of a Visual Novel. Know anything about those?
Kiyoshi: I uh... Well, I know a friend who-
Witch: Right. Look. We're in a situation where time is of the utmost importance here. I don't really care about your personal life. Just a simple yes.
Kiyoshi: *sigh* I'm passingly familiar with it.
Witch: Right. Your friend is caught in the middle of some kind of cosmic version of that. I don't know if it's aliens, devils, witchcraft, or secret government mind control, but we're being toyed with and forced to play roles for a play for some entity we can't perceive.
Kiyoshi: So that's why he has a Harem of girls following him? I was right? He's in a Harem story?
Witch: It isn't always a Harem.
Witch: Sometimes it's a murder mystery, a big epic war, could be a lot of things. There's always a MAIN CHARACTER though and romance is always a major focus here.
Kiyoshi: You keep stressing Main character like it's such an important phrase. Is there any reason you...
>Witch: Explain in the most non-sequitor way possible.
Witch: Ah yes. That's how they possess us.
Kiyoshi: With phrases?
Witch: With titles. With roles. Okay. So, as far as I've gathered, the game can't find appropriate players to fill its roles. So, it picks people that are of a compatible mindset and gives them a role that describes their job in the plot. This little bit of magic whispers into the character's ear and pushes them in the right direction to keep the game going. It's pretty subtle, but devious. If you didn't know it existed, it'd take your mind over completely. Of course, when someone like me with an important role like a LOVE INTEREST role gets near the MAIN CHARACTER the suggestions get so loud and potent that even someone that's aware of the game can't overpower it.
Kiyoshi: So those other two girls are being mind-controlled?
Witch: Your friend too, to an extent. You may not be able to notice all of it since you're in the game, but his role as the MAIN CHARACTER is ever so slightly warping his personality. The game is forcing him to follow it's little show and follow the romantic plot. Since it's a Harem plot, it looks like the game will just keep throwing girls at him until it can get one to stick. Does he seem any different to you?
Kiyoshi: He does seem more oblivious than usual.
Witch: GOOD! An oblivious protagonist will give us more time to work. He won't make a decision on his path as quickly.
Kiyoshi: So how does this game find actual witches and ninjas and tentacle scientists.
Witch: It doesn't. That's the power of the role. It doesn't just control us, it gives us the power to fulfill our role. Since I'm a Witch this time, I probably have some magic powers. I can't know exactly what I have without figuring out my exact title.
Kiyoshi: Why? Isn't a witch just a witch?
Witch: Well, the game can't give unlimited power to a character. So it restricts roles. As far as I can tell, roles are usually an adjective and a noun of some kind. Like SEXY TEACHER. That title gives the context and restraints to a role's power.
Kiyoshi: So, is this how I survived a kunai to the head?
Witch: Well, it shouldn't have. You SHOULD be a BEST FRIEND role.
>That's right, the best friend's job is to have a hot mom and to provide info on the cute girls from school.
Kiyoshi: I AM his best friend.
Witch: But you're not a BEST FRIEND. The role can vary depending on plot. In Harem Plots, the BEST FRIEND is supposed to act as a wingman and introduction for all of the MAIN CHARACTER'S love interests. However, the BEST FRIEND role is also frequently a dying role. It's makes for drama. If you were a BEST FRIEND, you'd be dead right now from that knife; one shot of dark slapstick comedy on the way to the game's conclusion. Maybe a brief moment of angst for the MAIN CHARACTER.
Kiyoshi: Then what AM I?
Witch: I'm trying to figure that out. You, for every reason, SHOULD be the BEST FRIEND, and, as an extension of that rule, dead. There's a lot of different types of roles though. LOVE INTERESTS, RIVALS, MAIN CHARACTERS, BACKGROUND CHARACTERS, and some others. We don't have time to get into that now. How would you describe yourself as a person? HONESTLY.
Kiyoshi: I'm really just an AVERAGE STUDENT. My parents even considered naming me-
Witch: No no no. That's not right. The AVERAGE STUDENT role is a background role. The AVERAGE STUDENT role is designed to keep characters that have nothing to do with the plot from dying from collateral damage unless the plot calls for a lot of faceless characters to die. You don't care about the chaos happening around you, and it, as a rule can't generally effect you. At least, not directly. You're literally a face in the crowd with that role.
Kiyoshi: Well, that honestly sounds like me. I've always been pretty forgettable.
Witch: Yes. you certainly display the properties of an AVERAGE STUDENT, but you're involved in the plot. If the game really wanted to make you an AVERAGE STUDENT, it would've brushed you aside and kept you from Takeshi. You care about him. An AVERAGE STUDENT can't be involved with the MAIN CHARACTER. At least, not for more than a couple of line. That role shouldn't be yours. And yet...
Kiyoshi: And yet?
Witch: I've never seen a role that behaves like yours. A death-proof role that's not a MAIN CHARACTER or a LOVE INTEREST and is still connected to him.
Kiyoshi: Sounds like a glitch.
Witch: A glitch?
Kiyoshi: Yeah. You know. Like in video games.
>Kiyoshi actually has Toon Immortality: Injuries have no lasting effect as long as they are inflicted in a humorous way.
Witch: Of course! A glitch. If this is a game, it might happen occasionally. I've never witnessed it myself, but it's bound to happen with something this big. Somehow you've gotten the AVERAGE STUDENT role.
Kiyoshi: That sounds horrible.
Witch: Actually, we might be able to use it to our advantage.
Witch: You have a certain level of plot immunity and damage resistance and you can go generally unrecognized. You might be able to get some places I can't, and you can resist the suggestions that happen from being near the MAIN CHARACTER, your friend.
Kiyoshi: How do we know I didn't just get lucky or it's not one of your other "roles"?
Witch: I could always shoot you with my magic and see if it just gets nullified on contact. That'd be a good bit of evidence.
Kiyoshi: ... Uhhh....
Witch: Now. Is there anything else you wanted to know while I'm still lucid?
Alright, so. The game treats us apparently as it would treat a wall or door: utterly unimportant and generally impervious to wacky hijinks of the MAIN CHARACTER or his love interests. The good news is that we are not dead from kunai to the head and will likely not die from other things those girls will be inflicting us with next time we need to borrow Takeshi: the bad news is that as AVERAGE STUDENT, I don't think we can develop much in way of kickass powers or affect the course of the game directly. We could always try to become social phantoms by trying to become so unmemorable and unimportant that we would be practically invisible, but I am not sure if that would work if we ran across someone wanting us out of the picture. Anyway:
> Kiyoshi: Ask if your role also means that you have to usher civilians out of the way of superpowered duels between all the crazy love interests. Also ask whenever or not EVERYONE the MAIN CHARACTER meets have to have a role in the plot, or if random "npc" meetings are still a possibility.
> Kiyoshi: After the questions have been asked, keep the kunai in case you have to fend off another psychotic love interest coming after you for interfering with the plot, and exposit on other people you know. Methinks they will also be assigned roles, and we need to find out those roles and their functions if we want to keep everyone from dying.
My theory is that Kyioshi is not just a AVERAGE STUDENT but THE MALE AVERAGE STUDENT. the "studio" couldn't afford "different models" for all the AVERAGE STUDENTS so instead there is a AVERAGE STUDENT MALE and AVERAGE STUDENT FEMALE that get killed repeatedly/ show up in the "background" alot so Kyioshi doesn't particularly die when he is killed. much more eloquent then a glitch.
>try to remember if your friend has any CHILDHOOD FRIENDS that he used to know, those are usually the safest LOVE INTEREST as well as the SLOWEST TO CONFESS.
>introduce yourself formally as well as ask her name. no need to be rude.
> "If the curse gave her magic powers, does that mean she wasn't always a witch?"
> Get Name. Get Phone Number
>Kiyoshi: Ask if your role also means that you have to usher civilians out of the way of superpowered duels between all the crazy love interests. Also ask whenever or not EVERYONE the MAIN CHARACTER meets have to have a role in the plot, or if random "npc" meetings are still a possibility.
Kiyoshi: So, do I have to like keep other civilians out of the way? Do I have a job here? What happened if I break my job?
Witch: Well, normally you just kind of do it automatically. If you were THAT kind of AVERAGE STUDENT you'd just kind of do it on instinct. Subtle suggestions, remember? At its worst, you don't even realize you're being effected.
Kiyoshi: ...And what about people outside the game, do they get roles if they meet Takeshi?
Witch: Outside the game? Yeah. I don't think you're getting this yet.
Kiyoshi: What do you mean?
Witch: Does your friend have any other childhood friends other than you? One maybe you and he shared?
Kiyoshi: Of course, he...
>Kiyoshi: Try to remember if your friend has any CHILDHOOD FRIENDS that he used to know, those are usually the safest LOVE INTEREST as well as the SLOWEST TO CONFESS.
Kiyoshi: I don't remember. What's going on?
Witch: That means the game probably has plans for her. You'll remember her when THEY want you to. The game assigns roles for everyone that could possibly meet him in the period of the game.
Kiyoshi: How could it possibly do that?
Witch: I don't know, but it's seems that our lives might get scrambled a little in the process. Some of the people you think you know might be people you've never met before. Your mother might not even be your mother. No one's memories can be 100% trusted. I keep notes here and there to try to keep straight what are my thoughts and what are the game's thoughts for me.
Kiyoshi: How are we supposed to beat something that has this much control over us.
Witch: I'm not sure, but I have to keep trying.
>Kiyoshi: Ask her what the DIREST CONSEQUENCES could be lest we take some CRITICAL and MEANINGFUL action? Can Roles be changed?
Kiyoshi: So. Since I'm such a special case, what happens when I do something the game didn't plan for? What if I break my AVERAGE STUDENT role and do something critical and meaningful to the plot?
Witch: I don't know. I've never encountered a glitch before. You're a whole new thing. Maybe the rules don't apply the same to you. Maybe you have different rules. Roles seem set in stone. I don't think I can change roles, but maybe there's a way for you, or maybe you can at least change your restrictions. If we could understand it, we might be able to get a weapon to use against them. Dammit. If only I wasn't a LOVE INTEREST this time.
>Kiyoshi: If the curse gave her magic powers, does that mean she wasn't always a witch?
Kiyoshi: You know a lot about all this. Have you done this before? And what do you mean "a LOVE INTEREST this time"? Are you not always a witch in these things?
Witch: This isn't my first game. This is the first time I've been a witch though. Maybe the game is trying to tell me it's on to me. It's figured out that I'm trying to beat it. So, it's using it's own system as security. This is punishment for digging too deep. I can't imagine they have a good ending planned for me.
Kiyoshi: Wait. So if this isn't your first game, you can get pulled in again? So even if we beat this thing, it might just recapture us?
Witch: It didn't recapture me. I've been entering the games of my own free will. It's not hard when you know what to look for.
Kiyoshi: Why would you possibly...?
Witch: I've seen a lot. We have precious little time though. Maybe I can tell you about this when we've beaten this thing?
Kiyoshi: Sorry. I didn't mean to pry. I just thought that maybe if I knew...
Witch: No. It's fine. I know you didn't mean anything. You couldn't have known.
Kiyoshi: Well, we'll just have to survive this thing and save my friend so you can tell me later, huh?
Witch: Yeah. It's a promise. Hey...
>Witch: Get Phone Number.
Witch: Give me your phone number.
Witch: So we can keep in touch if we figure something out. I remember everything that happens while playing my role, and I might be able to figure some more out in my time away from the MAIN CHARACTER.
Kiyoshi: Oh. Right.
Witch: Why the hell did you THINK I wanted it?
Kiyoshi: Oh that? I just think it's a bit weird to exchange numbers when we don't even know each other's names.
>Kiyoshi: Introduce yourself formally as well as ask her name. No need to be rude.
Witch: Oh right. Silly me.
Kiyoshi: I'm Kiyoshi Muraso, AVERAGE STUDENT.
Witch: Heh. Nice to meet you, AVERAGE STUDENT Kiyoshi. I'm-
Witch: Nnngh. Damn... it... Not... now...
Kiyoshi: Are you okay?
Witch: Your friend is looking for you. He's getting close. I won't be able to control myself when he gets here. I'm sorry, Kiyosh-.
Oh God. She's about to lose it. What should you do?
> Remind Takeshi of the important ERRAND he had to do.
> Get mobbed by the less resistant to mind control females upon Takeshi's exit, being beaten up for making him lave.
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>be prepared for our currently nameless Witch to start blasting you for what you did earlier.
>Ask him if he wants to go with you to the arcade. usually the only kind of LOVE INTEREST that you find there are nerds that are less batshit crazy then the group from earlier.
Well well well, this seems to be shaping up to be an interesting game board. Now that she is done with the TUTORIAL, you two should probably put some distance between yourselves and the main character if you want her to remain sane; that is, if the game will let you. There's only one way to find out.
> Ponder that you might be the main character of a different game, one where multiple people make suggestions and the goal is to stop the game you were just told about. Then promptly disregard this idea as being a bit too farfetched.
>Kiyoshi: Tackle Takeshi! Tell him that you tripped, and then remind him that he was going to get something to eat from the Cafe. Once he's gone, you can get the witch's name. Also, ask the witch if it's possible that the game might make you a love interest if you try to interfere.
Stuff I Like:
Kiyoshi: Grab her and run!!
Kiyoshi: Come on. We'll get you away.
Witch: If you don't get away soon, I'll end up attacking you like I was going to. I could severely hurt you.
Kiyoshi: It won't kill me, right?
Witch: That was just a theory. We don't know that for sure. I don't have the resistance to run. Just get away from me.
>You two should probably put some distance between yourselves and the main character if you want her to remain sane; that is, if the game will let you.
Kiyoshi: Look. Just hold on to my arm. I may not be strong, but I'll drag you.
Witch: Why are you doing this? He's not in danger yet. I might even get some information from him. I'll break away later. The game doesn't have me completely under its control yet.
>Kiyoshi: Be prepared for our currently nameless Witch to start blasting you for what you did earlier.
Kiyoshi: This stupid game has already made you suffer enough already, right? I saw it in your expression when I asked about the other games. And NOW. Now, it's going to take away your free will. Make you care about someone you don't actually care about. I don't care how temporary that is. Doesn't that scare you?
Witch: I'm used to it. I knew the risks when I entered the game. I knew this was a possibility. Now get the hell out of here before I blast your head off your shoulders.
Kiyoshi: You know what? Screw it.
Takeshi: Hey, Bro. I lost you. The girls said it was a misunderstanding. Just come out, and I'm sure we can talk this out like civilized me-
>Kiyoshi: Tackle Takeshi!
>Kiyoshi: Ask him if he wants to go with you to the arcade. usually the only kind of LOVE INTEREST that you find there are nerds that are less batshit crazy then the group from earlier.
Takeshi: Uhh... Don't take this the wrong way, but uhh...
Kiyoshi: I TRIPPED.
Takeshi: I think you tackled me. Is there something you want to tell me?
Kiyoshi: Uhhh... The arcade.
Kiyoshi: I ran into an old acquaintance while running away. I want to catch up with him. I can't make dinner. Sorry. Go grab some dinner to go at the cafe. I'll meet you at the arcade afterward. Just waste some time until I get there. We'll talk about our future band plans there like we were going to over dinner.
Takeshi: Oh. Okay. That sounds fine. You sure we shouldn't just postpone that though? Maybe I could...
Kiyoshi: No. Don't do anything the girls want. Tell them you have other plans. Go STRAIGHT to the Arcade after grabbing dinner. Stay there. Don't move. TALK. TO. NO ONE. Alright?
Takeshi: Uh... huhhhhh. Sure, I guess.
Kiyoshi: Also, we should probably act like that moment, just now, never happened.
Takeshi: Yeah. That sounds like a good idea.
>Get mobbed by the less resistant to mind control females upon Takeshi's exit, being beaten up for making him leave.
Scientist: Ohhh. That little witch. She makes me so mad. Who does she think she is? Trying to take my dear, sweet experiment. The next time I see her, I should rip her limb from limb for her insolence. We'll see who has the "cute little tricks" then.
Ninja: Do I look like I care? I don't care. I'm only following you, because I'm bored and find your babbling funny. By the way...
Scientist: WHAT THE!?
Ninja: That little witch is running past you, right now.
Scientist: Well, glad she could just lead me right to her. Makes my life easier. I'm going to go teach her a lesson. You interested in a temporary truce?
Ninja: Eh. Sure. Why not? Could be interesting.
>Kiyoshi: Steal her hat
Yep. This is not your day for bright ideas. Maybe they can't kill you, but if you don't think of something, this is going to start hurting VERY soon. Oh, well. Hopefully that gave that Witch girl enough distance from Takeshi to keep her mind.
> Maybe your glitch power is that you can take the roles of other characters! Pretend to cast a curse on the Scientist/Ninja.
> If that doesn't work, let slip that you found out Takeshi really, really likes Naked Photos of Old Men