Johnstuck

[Reecer6]

> John: Wonder why that Rose you just punched exploded. Are Roses made out of nitroglycerin in this adventure or just that one?

Your prank was supposed to give it a shock, but it must've exploded from the impact! You guess. You aren't a scientist.

> EB John: Ponder why your changed your chumhandle even if this universe's Terezi is just another you but as a troll (assuming the trolls exist at all), and therefor wouldn't give you a death threat that convinced you to change from ghostyTrickster to ectoBiologist.

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[...]
EB: why are you so mean today, you big jerk?
EB: :B
CG: well, you're an ectobiologist!
EB: hmmmm...
EB: i like the sound of that!
EB: ectobiologist
EB: i'm going to change my clonehandle to that.
CG: ok, i'll add you.
CG: i'm just a bit angry today because [...]

> Any John: Are there any girl-Johns in this universe? If not, do you... multiply through mitosis or something?

This diagram clearly explains it.

---

You already knew this wasn't your house but the Johniverse's version. Still, nothing could prepare you for this.

[TVSmasher66]

> Genderbent Johnmom: Make out with Johnsquid

[Morphimus]

> Johnmom: Passive aggrassively devour bronzed vacuum cleaner.

[chezrush]

Rosemom> punch Johnmom in the face then turn it into booze

[red pharoah]

> Debate about whether wizards suck or not.

[PersonPerson]

All 4 of these^

[Reecer6]

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ROSE: I'm fine with wizards. You?
JOHN: i don't really care about th
JOHN: WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH
JOHN: rose alert!
JOHN: don't kill me!

You punch him in the face. You don't actually like liquor at all though, you just hold it for passive-aggressive feelings, if you ever needed to unleash any.

You are incredibly tempted by the vacuum cleaner and John-faced squid princess. But it's very un-lady like.

Oh what the heck, time for extremely uncomfortable positions and sloppy makeouts.

YOU ARE SUDDENLY ASSAULTED BY A CHARACTER SELECT SCREEN!

[OrangeAipom]

BE THE JOHN WITH SHADES

[PersonPerson]

Be dave

[reactionResearcher]

>be JadeJohnDave

[Jetroid]

>The one on the left right.

[reflectiveRhino]

> Be both of them at the same time

[chezrush]

Be the very special Dave with every disease known to man.

[Morphimus]

> Be whoever the one by the broken window is.

[Godbot]

> Be John

[Toasted]

Both simultaneously

[red pharoah]

Be a horrible hybrid of both

[chezrush]

Become Karkat instead.

[Reecer6]

You are now DAVE STRIDER. More specifically, the LAST DAVE STRIDER IN EXISTANCE.
What do you do?

[red pharoah]

> actually be John in a silly disguise

[jahw]

realize that you are not actually in a lab but on a floating island 50,000 feet above india

[unclefestorian]

>pester John to make ectobiological copy of you

[PersonPerson]

Throw the laptop off a cliff.
Find a cliff first.

[Enceladus]

Roseverse: Collide with Roxyverse.

[Reecer6]

Listen:
You are in fact the last Dave there is, this is the Johnniverse, this is an underground lab nowhere near a cliff, and you CAN'T LET ANYONE KNOW YOU EXIST.