This young troll stands in his respiteblock. It just so happens that today, the 13th bilunar perigee of the 4th dark season's equinox, is the day of this young troll's wriggling day. Though it was six solar sweeps ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!
Six Alternian solar sweeps, for convenient reference, is equivalent to thirteen Earth years.
What will the name of this young troll be?
You don't have time for this. He shall be named...
Name the boy Henry Navillus.
Your name is HENRY NAVILLUS. You are standing in your respiteblock, which has only two UGLY WINDOWS to provide light.
You have many INTERESTS. You have a passion for FIRST PERSON GAMES, and you're OKAY AT THEM. You like to program GAMES, and you are PRETTY GOOD AT IT. You have an obsession with VERY LAGE GUNS, but usually you can barely lift them.
You like to chat with some of your other troll pals, most of which ARE SOMETIMES JERKS. You have been trying out a new chat client beta called TROLLIAN, and you are TOATALLY AMAZED BY IT. Your trolltag is shotgunSpecialist and you S"peak" "in" "a" "sarcastic" "tone" "most" "of" "the" "time".
What will you do?
SS: Set kind abstratus to shotgunkind.
You set your KIND ABSTRATUS to SHOTGUNKIND.
SS: Equip large shotgun to your Strife Specibus.
It's pretty big, but you manage to fit it in.
SS: Wield large shotgun.
This is way too heavy. Maybe someone on Trollian will be able to help.
SS: Find a friend on trollian.
Lousy goddamn stupid bullets. They always fall out of your guns.
Oh look one of your friends is pestering you.
UT: Send file.
SPOILER]SS: W"ell" I"'m" "about" "to" "install" "it"
SS: W"e" "should" "play" "afterwards"
UT: OkaY, SeE YoU TheN!
-- underwaterTundra [UT] ceased trolling shotgunSpecialist [SS] at 12:07 --[/SPOILER]
SS: Install game.
Connect to server player [UT]? [y/n]
Oh my god the suspense.
SS: Be the other boy.
Who's this douchebag?
Oh wait You meant UT, didn't you. I'll do that.
Be the other OTHER boy.
Introduce this boy.
Your name is ZEKE WOHCSNAG.
You are currently inside the stomach of your lusus, who resembles a giant EARTH WHALE. The reason he swallowed your home is because the lake you reside in is extremely polluted, and your kindly lusus filters the water with his RIDICULOUSLY LARGE MOUTH.
You could never hope to exit this lake, for it does STRANGE THINGS TO YOUR BLOOD AND HAIR. If you were to step out of dirty water for a few seconds, you would PROBABLY BECOME SOME KIND OF MANIAC.
Anyway, on a completly unrelated note are your INTERESTS. You have a passion for SCI-FI SHOWS. You also enjoy GAMING, although you always seem to PLAY THEM BEFORE ANYONE ELSE DOES. You like to DRAW DIGITALLY, but you use REALLY HORRIBLE ART PROGAMS. You do a little bit of HTML, and are PRETTY GOOD AT IT. You enjoy PLAYING PIANO, and are REALLY GOOD AT IT. You also enjoy playing with a JAVELYN or two, but the last time you did that, you STABBED YOURSELF TRHOUGH AND THROUGH. Luckily, you got one of your friends to give you some of his EXCEPTIONAL LUCK, and the wound healed rather quickly.
Your trolltag is underwaterTundra and you HavE A WaY OF SpeainG ThaT RepresentS ThE WateR IN WhicH YoU LivE IN.
You are currently about to play a very important game with a whole lot of people.
This game, for convienent reference, is one that is INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS.
What will you do?
UT: Go into that small puddle of slime.
UT: How deep,exactly?
Oh. That's pretty deep. Your lusus's stomach is full of the stuff, actually. A side effect of all that lake-filtering.
Enough of this dillydallying. Play that game.
Alright, this is it, YOU ARE FINALLY GOING TO PLAY SGRUB.
IT'S KILLING ME.
OH MAN. THAT SURE IS AMAZING.
UT: Quickly, switch to someone else before we see you play that game!
This girl? okay.
Wait, that's not who I picked!
Your name is IVY PECUS.
You are 7 solar sweeps old.
You just got finished with THROWING YOUR KNIVES EVERYWHERE, which makes your lusus REALLY MAD. Mainly because SHE HAS TO CLEAN IT UP. Otherwise, she would probably join you in your game. She is a GOOD FRIEND OF YOURS.
You REALLY LIKE KNIVES. Especially BUTCHER KNIVES. You enjoy sleeping a lot. You also really like gore. You REALLY, REALLY LOVE GORE. You are also an aspiring artist, and you adore the show FULLMETAL ALCHEMIZER. You enjoy computer things and talking with YOUR BUDDIES. You dabble in genetics, and you really love DNA and MUTATIONS. You have an obsession with COWS. Lots and lots of cows.
You will play a game in a little while that will change everyone's life forever.
Your trolltag is bovineArtistry and your EmooTIONS ARE udderLY PROmooNENT.
Right now, your life is pretty damn boring.
What will you do?
Hey, don't ignore me! Go back! Go back!!
I don't want to go back.
Fine. Go throw a cleaver at something.
That would get spoor everywhere.
The Roy poster.
You don't wanna.
The Havoc poster.
WHAT NO WHY WOULD YOU EVER DO THAT TO HAVOC YOU LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
It seems your lusus is not happy about this.
BA's Lusus: be angry.
Goddammit I can throw whatever I want! Well it is MY drawing! Yes I think my art is good, I am not putting myself down or anything! Jeez!
BA: Whatever. Just continue with your day.
You lusus can be a hassle sometimes. But she's still awesome. Oh look someone is trolling you.
BA: Answer friend.
NC: What are those mysterious eyes?
That's your lusus. He's cool, but he's REALLY LOUD.
NC: If that's your lusus, then who are you?
Your name is TABITHA HARMON. You have a variety of INTERESTS.
You have a passion for BALLROOM DANCING. You are SERIOUSLY AMAZING AT IT. Like SERIOUSLY. You are also good at ORGINIZATION and calming your friends down. You currently are a PACIFIST, which you probably would be anyway, seeing as you are on the BOTTOM OF THE BLOOD CASTE.
You are interested in many shows and games, like DOC WHO, MY LITTLE HOOFBEAST: MORIALSHIP IS MAJJYK, FULLMETAL ALCHEMIZER, and MINECRAFT. You like to discuss these things with your friends. Your trolltag is notClaire and you Can't speel att al
What will you do?
NC: Wonder where your husktop went.
You captchalogged it in your BAG MODUS. Your bag is in your room.
NC: If you were supposed to be organized, then what's up with your posters
Your lusus always messes your posters up. It REALLY BUGS YOU.
NC: Talk to Diego so you can play SGRUB.
How about seeing these guys play?
UT: Attempt to pick up cruxtruder.
S: Attempt to pick up cruxtruder.
No way. It's like, three times your size.
S: Attempt to open cruxtruder.
It seems like the impact did most of the work. It comes off quite nicely.
WHAT IS THAT