Trollslum Cafe C: The Amount of Time you've All Wasted is 100dicrous

[CrazedWormHole]

And he just keeps laughing, the dumbass.

HAHAHAHA SURE SURE! YOU GOT ME GOOD THOHOHOUG! I'LL ADMIT THAHAHAT. > BRZT.

Is this guy even capable of taking anything seriously?

[Weeaboo]

[SCIENCE]Sorry to cut this laughably short, I am wanted someplace else. Until we meet again, Caedes.[BAG]

She leaves, laughing manically afterward.

In her wake, a small vial has been left behind that is marked 'antidote for paralysis potion' on it.

[CrazedWormHole]

And how was Caedes supposed to get his hands on that vial...Hm...He'll just lie there and giggle. Yea, that'll work.

[probableWizardry]

Might I, perhaps,
Speak for everyone, that may have witnessed, these events,
When I clearly, wish to ask,
'The hell just happened here?'

Probably?

(And then I may have passed out, bleh.)

[CrazedWormHole]

Caedes will just lie in place and laugh for a while. Well, until some unlucky kind soul will help him.



Zerleg however, is not that kind soul.

[FubbalyWubbaly]

Chever decides to show up and- HOLY SHIT! what happened to him?

[BishouTaka]

Cirela however, may be. She scurries from her hiding place, drops the vial on him, then scurries into hiding once more. She has been here all along.


-------

Zukuas comes in too, looking around before seating herself

[FubbalyWubbaly]

oh, well, might as well get comfortable. he pulls up a chair at a table and orders some tea

[Mister Always]

Suddenly, the door opens.

Sorry, did I say it opened? Because what I meant was "Suddenly, somebody kicks the door so hard that one of the hinges just up and snaps".



If it ain't. Who else but Martis, bursting in and fouling his presence with sour energy like some kind of perverse lightning storm. Except instead of lightning, it's piss, vinegar, and gin. He flips a couple of tables on his way to the bar (thankfully all unoccupied), and even manages to sit down angrily. The chair doesn't like it very much.

He punches the barbot in the snout to establish his willingness to get completely ossified.

[BishouTaka]

Zukuas notices lord Martis, and decides he looks pissed enough to warrant more annoyance!
My Lord Redblood, I Doth Protest
Thou Seems Not To Be At Thy Best

[FubbalyWubbaly]

he looks up from all the loud banging and crashing. wow that guy must have had something piss him off

[Mister Always]

Martis turns his hateful gaze on Zukuas. There is only one appropriate word of advice.

no shit? i don' look at my fuckin' best. well fuck my hot tight nook, battroll! wot a fuckin' surprise that i don' look at my fuckin' best. if i'da known i'd be up t'such unprecedented scruteny i'da put on my fuckin' suit, maybe then ya'd be a li'l more appreciative'a my appearance, maybe?! moreover, do i - does martis fuckin' lancia - look like th'kinda guy wot gives a fuck if he looks at 'is grub-fuckin' best?!

Oh God, he's standing up now. A sure sign his shouting will not soon abate.

does martis lancia look like a bitch?! d'i look like i'll break down into fuckin' wibbles or somethin'?! y'afeared fer my emotional equilibrium, are ya?! well, as troll tom waits said, i've los' my equilibrium, my scuttlebuggy keys 'n my pride, 'n i stand t'lose somethin' just a squelchin' slimy touch more important'n that soon, so i don' give a squadron'a flyin' fucks if i look my fuckin' best!

A nearby pile of napkins bursts into flames. Hoo boy.

Running: still an option.

[BishouTaka]

Zukuas douses the ball o fire with her tea. She then orders another pot.
Bursting Into Wibbles? I Doubt.
But Thou Punched The Bot In The Snout.
If It Will Pacify Thee
Please Do What Thou Wish To Me.
She doesn't mean anything perverse dammit.

[Mister Always]

Martis actually looks slightly taken aback. How to even respond to that?

wot.


He squints a bit, like a hunting dog would squint while it tries to determine whether the opossum it was chasing is actually dead.

y'shittin' me or somethin'? y'ain' goin' t'tell me y'value yer own sanctity so much as t'just let some guy wail on ya t'vent.

[BishouTaka]

Zukuas shrugs.
Obviously I Will Dodge My Lord
Perhaps Thou Wilst Land On Thy Own Accord.

[FubbalyWubbaly]

he sits quietly, zoning out as he drinks his tea

[Mister Always]

...

Well, a little bit of fighting never hurt anyone. (Except it did, a lot of times.)

le's see 'bout that.

Martis promptly reaches down and grabs one of the legs of the chair he's sitting on. He breaks it off like a dry twig, causing the chair to topple. He stands up just before he's past the point of no return, brandishing the splinter-ended end of wood like a gladius.

en garde.

[CrazedWormHole]

Oh hey antidote in his face. Caedes pops it open with his mouth and downs the content. Now to wait for it to take effect...



Holy shit is that Chever? Zerleg's grin widens as he gets up to standing.

Oh dear.

[BishouTaka]

She bows, not drawing her own weapon.
Fiddlestick At The Ready
Tis A Violent Medly.

[FubbalyWubbaly]

he looks to his side, not even interested in the fight and-

ohhh, no, not him, not while chever's like this! shit!

[Mister Always]

Martis was not considered by most to be a subtle fighter. If there was anything he was bad at, it was economical movements and careful, measured strikes. So he didn't bother with those, and instead started trying to skewer Zukuas like a filleted snaked on a barbecue pin.

[BishouTaka]

Zukuas could barely be considered a fighter at all, she seemed much to lithe and petite for such a hobby. But fight she does, and she fights battles of endurance, waiting for the opponent to tire before striking. As he tries stabbing her, she promptly side steps at the last second, and if managing to suceed the movement he will stumble slightly. She whirls around, staying in his range but is now at this back.

Panty shot x 1. She really should not have worn that dress

[CrazedWormHole]

Caedes ultimately forces himself up to standing again, looking around with his one eye. Where did that friendly fishy go?



Zerleg walks right over, leaning his elbow on Chever's head.

*** Hey it's my favourite walking TV-set. How's it going? You look like shit. ___

Wow.

[FubbalyWubbaly]

and a hello tto you ttoo
her grumbles a bit at the fact that Zerleg is using him as an armrest

[Chumemi]

Did someone say.. Friendly fishy?

Wait that's not a fishy nevermind. She waltz in, and sits in an empty booth. Nope nevermind. She walks out instantaneously, for some reason.