Hoofstuck Year II (5/6.......)

[tangibleTools]

I don't feel like digging through the archive at the moment, but doesn't Twilight have a Dewey-equivalent modus?

See here: >Twilight's Fetch Modus: Be the Dewey Decimal system.

[Zarhon]

Aye that. I was too lazy to look it up properly. Surely she can use a book on magic that can be set into the 7th slot.

[lunarDancer]

I was actually thinking of Rainbow borrowing the helicopter thing that her pet tortoise usually wears, but paper wings would be AMAZING, as would fanfiction wings. I think fanfiction wings would involve being able to fly, but a horrible Mary Sue only you can see and hear has to accompany you at all times.

[Violet CLM]

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Ought this update be longer? Yes. Have I been preoccupied? Again yes.

>RD: A pegasus doomed never to fly? NOT ON YOUR WATCH!

Your LOYALTYKIND friendship specibus kicks into action! The squirt's your responsibility -- usually, anyway -- and you're not letting her go flightless! But how? A really big number of ideas dash through your head, most of which would require Twilight's help, none of which could be done instantly, and all of which would require Scoots actually being here instead of... back at Sweet Apple Acres, you guess? Eh, you're sure she's fine. You even briefly consider giving her a run through your fetch modus, but quickly decide against it. Pokey was one matter, but you can't risk your little cousin in that thing. She might end up flying, but if your modus felt especially perverse... well. Even Pinkie would have a hard time laughing at that.

Then it hits you. "It's okay, Aunt Ember!" you say. "I'll take Scoots back to that Ursa Major right away, and he can fix her!"

She doesn't look as cheered by this as you'd hoped. "Oh, sweetheart... that won't work."

"Huh? Sure it will! I'm supposed to be his chosen embassy or whatever, right? I'll just march in there and be all like hey Chrysaor, if you want me to do any super-big missions for you, you'd better fix my cousin first! Easy peasy."

"Emissary. We've already tried, Rainbow. We knew it was such a trivial matter to be bothering a god with, but we were so worried for her. But Chrysaor refused. I got the idea he was worried his magic wasn't reliable anymore, after it had affected her that way in the first place. Like he was fading, under a curse. Something about the stars waiting for him."

Ugh! There it is again, uncertainty. Gambling with Scootaloo's everything. "Well... okay. I'll still find a way to keep her safe, though, and maybe even get her wings fixed on the way! She said she wants to come on this adventure with me, and..."

"No."

You look at your aunt, startled. She's not usually so... direct. "Huh?"

"Rainbow, dearest, I know you mean well, but your uncle and I did come here to take her with us. I hear Canterlot's Captain of the Guard is a rather impressively powerful shield-caster, and even if he's not there, I can't think of a safer place for her to be than Canterlot in case things get dangerous! I'm sure we have connections aplenty enough to get her in there. Then of course your uncle will volunteer himself to help keep Canterlot safe, that's just the sort of thing he does, and I... well, I'm not sure yet, but no doubt I'll think of something. And there'll be plenty of time to find a way to make her fly afterwards, if there is a way in the first place."

"..." Her plan -- their plan -- sounds perfectly logical, but you can't deny feeling a little put out by it. As can happen with you and perfectly logical plans. "Aunt Ember," you say, "you know I'm cool with you not being home too much and all, but... I've watched the squirt a lot of her life, okay? And now you're saying you don't trust me to protect her?"

"Oh, Rainbow," she says, and hugs you. "Of course I do! I'm trusting you to protect all of us, don't you see? All that mixed-up nonsense about meteors and curses and Rainbow Flash and everything aside, you know I love you like a daughter, and I'm letting you go away and be a hero! In exchange, can't you let me be a mother?"

[Zarhon]

Welp, it's confirmed: Scootaloo and/or the rest of the CMC get to destroy/doom Canterlot. Which in turn saves Ponyville, due the them not being there.

> Shining Armor: Feel a burning sensation in your ears. And dread. Lots and lots of dread.

> Scootaloo: Scream into pillow out of boredom.

> Sweetie Belle: Have THE BEST plan.

> Rainbow: Be a hero. Do... Wait, what were you supposed to be doing again?

[KingTwelveSixteen]

>RD : Be struck right in the feels by Ember's question. "*nnrrrrggh*...I guess helping Scootaloo out can wait."

[Donut64]

>RD : Be struck right in the feels by Ember's question.

I support this
but not your quote

[It Was A ...]

>RD : Be struck right in the feels by Ember's question.

Great turn of phrase.

She might end up flying, but if your modus felt especially perverse

.
But it will reveal her cutie mark.

Like he was fading, under a curse. Something about the stars waiting for him."

RD : You know all about stars from the Chrysothulu Mythos you were raised on. And Twilight was saying something about how they set Nighgmare Moon free and Luna kinda owes you. So, you have plan B. Well, an intention and an egghead, which equals a plan.

RD : Say, didn't Twilight ask you to stop messing with the Hoofstuck Console because it was going to destroy Equestria. Better tell her about the meteors before she stops this crisis by creating a bigger crisis. Again.

I can't think of a safer place for her to be than Canterlot

RD : Help Ember talk to Cherilee and evacuate ALL the foals to Canterlot.
CMC: Either 1) sneak back home to help out in best plucky British evacuee style. Or 2) find a hidden route into the Medium in the castle, also in plucky British evacuee style.

[lunarDancer]

All that mixed-up nonsense about meteors and curses and Rainbow Flash

Wait a minute . . . I think we need to ask ourselves, "What's the DEAL with Rainbow Flash?" Like, was Rainbow Dash named after him (sort of)?

Rainbow Flash: Despite your arguments with Nth, have a soft spot for RD. Bring little presents for her, like dresses, and do your best to make sure she always dresses in style.

Rainbow Dash: Pray that you have finally convinced Flash that you are allergic to all dyes. I mean, good intentions and all, but his gifts are always so . . . outrageous. Truly, truly, truly outrageous.

[Violet CLM]

It's a nice idea, but RF would not seem to have been very present in RD's life. Sure, Ember may have been simplifying his involvement a bit before she decided to tell the full story (</retcon>), but RD herself barely remembers him, soooo...

Welp, it's confirmed: Scootaloo and/or the rest of the CMC get to destroy/doom Canterlot.

Who knows! The role of the CMC so far has basically been getting thrown at various situations to see if you can find a use for them, and if not, well, they can listen to some exposition instead. Most recently this was the Scootasprite idea, but since there wasn't much enthusiasm for that, and I think trying to bring them along to the Medium not as sprites would be confusing and pointless, they might as well get shoved off to Canterlot instead. Where they can presumably continue their existing functions.

[*Sigh*]

Hey Violet, I just remembered, did we ever get any exposition on what the princesses know about the game? I can't remember...

[Violet CLM]

I think the princesses have shown up in all of three different panels, never with much text about them. Celestia told Granny Smith about Chrysaor creating the Everfree Forest, though. But hey, they've got Cadance beat by a longshot! Partially because there's no real way of knowing where she's supposed to be right now until Season 3 starts.

This reminder has been brought to you by your helpful friend the search page.

[*Sigh*]

Bah! Searching is for the weak who don't have people to do those kinds of things for them.

[Firehead]

RD : Offer to talk to Twilight about getting them into Canterlot, she was able to get Rarity into a guest room in the castle itself after all.

RD : Remember that you never told your aunt about how Scootaloo was mysteriously banned from the Canterlot Statue Gardens by the Princess after a class field trip there.

Ember : It seems with all that's going on that she doesn't remember what day it is. Surprise your niece with her birthday present.

[Zarhon]

>RD : Be struck right in the feels by Ember's question.

Support this, but I think we can do better than that!

> Rainbow Dash: Have your COOLNESS BAR invert into the FEELS BAR from the repeated assault by Ember's parentkind specibus. Enter state of begrudging submission.

> Fluttershy: Maximize ADORABAR, providing yourself, allies, viewers and authors with the SQUEE status, boosting their elementkind powers.

[Violet CLM]

>RD: Get impatient.

"Well..." you begin, "I guess Canterlot is pretty locked up, and it's not like they destroyed anything when they were there for Cadance's wedding." You tactfully don't mention what happened on their previous visit. "But okay! So you want to be a mom so bad? Great. Prove it."

Aunt Ember hesitates. "Rainbow, dear, I'm afraid I don't quite understand..."

"Be my mom! I know we're not, like, related, but do your whole big mom thing and listen to my problems and make everything better so I can go save the world instead of sulking up here in the clouds!"

"My goodness, love, that's really rather a tall order. I'll do my best, of course, but I couldn't promise anything even if I were your mother! This is still about that Big Macintosh you're suddenly feeling so shy about?"

"Yes! And no!" You try to stomp the ground, though that only works so well when it's made of cloud. "I mean, there's nothing suddenly about it, except for him. I can't remember if we've ever even talked! We're not in any sort of relationship, we never were, he just cornered me in the cellar and... euugh! Asked about babies!"

Her face falls. "Oh. Oh, Rainbow, I'm sorry, sweetheart, I misunderstood. Now, he isn't dangerous, is he? Do you think he might try to hurt you if you told him no?"

You almost laugh at the very idea of Big Mac trying to hurt anypony. "Nah! I just... maybe it'd be kinda slightly awesome to have a kid someday, but so so so not right now, especially with a guy I hardly talk to. But obviously he's all, I dunno, super-deep in love with me, and I don't know how to turn him off."

"You'll have to tell him, dear," she says, giving you a warm nuzzle. "Tell him you're very sorry and very flattered, but you just don't think of him in that way. I suppose you are into colts, aren't you?"

It's a totally obvious trick to get you to talk about your love life, but you guess you don't mind. You did just ask her to be your mom, and it's nice to have somepony you can talk to about stuff and know it'll never reach your fanclub or the Wonderbolts. Also you're still shook up from how insane Big Mac was to ask you about this stuff in the first place! Talking about your feelings is totally justified right now and totally a one-time thing and totally not uncool. Though you're still going to play it cool if at all possible. If you sound too excited, it'll just set her off again.

"Eh. I dunno. I figure it doesn't really matter unless I do start wanting a kid someday, and even then only for, uhh, you know. Before that it's all about if we get along and stuff, stallion or mare or whatever under the sun. Right?"

Aunt Ember beams. "Oh my! Dearest, I'm so glad to hear that you're so open-minded! In certain respects, that is. And so have you met anypony that you do get along with?"

"...not really. Like, you remember Gilda? She could keep up with me in a race, or in a fight, and she really meant what she said, and that was all great. Or I met this buffalo once who was kinda similar, really fast, really dedicated to her family. Still miss her. Also they were all brown and stuff, which is good, 'cause they couldn't outshine me. But they're not ponies, and I dunno for sure if any of that was even the same as, uh, romance, anyhow."

"Well, it's a start, love. And is Big Macintosh any of those things?"

"Nah. Or, no, I think he does care about his family, and he's strong, but... not so much the other stuff. He doesn't talk much at all. I need somepony who can give as well as take, you know?"

"I know far better than you want to hear. But there you go! You can tell him that you're sorry, but he just isn't the type of pony you're looking for right now."

"Yeah, but..." You pause, thinking of numerous times you've been rebuked for some apparent insult or another. "I really really don't know him that great. And if I said something that hurt his feelings, then I bet Applejack would be super-pissed at me... wait." Bells ring in your head. "Oh, of course! I'll just tell Applejack about everything and make her tell him I'm not his baby factory!"

[Zarhon]

The disaster train has left the station! Next stop: Watching said train crash in slow motion.

> Rainbow Dash/Big Macintosh: Realize you'll have to race each other to reach Applejack first, so you can relay your message first and not suffer a verbal beat-down.

> Big Macintosh: Reach Applejack before Rainbow Dash.

> Big Macintosh: Reach Applejack simultaneously with Rainbow Dash. Say both of your messages at the same time.

[Firehead]

"Oh, of course! I'll just tell Applejack about everything and make her tell him I'm not his baby factory!"

Ember : Be a mother and help Rainbow Dash find a more tactful way of putting that.

[Mooncalf]

Who knows! The role of the CMC so far has basically been getting thrown at various situations to see if you can find a use for them, and if not, well, they can listen to some exposition instead. Most recently this was the Scootasprite idea, but since there wasn't much enthusiasm for that, and I think trying to bring them along to the Medium not as sprites would be confusing and pointless, they might as well get shoved off to Canterlot instead. Where they can presumably continue their existing functions.

Depends on whether or not Equestria is destroyed after the Mane 6 enter the Medium. Personally I recommend against it, since it's a waste to discard a vast setting with plenty of interesting characters just to remain true to the source material. Of course, in Homestuck the Medium was full of people went along on the ride (mainly the Guardians, but one of Dad's Serious Business buddies too), so it doesn't have to be that much of a barrier if need be.

One idea that just struck me: what if Sbale doesn't bring the players separately into the Medium so much as it brings the Medium to Equestria (or vice versa?) in some cosmic world-merging event?

[KingTwelveSixteen]

Depends on whether or not Equestria is destroyed after the Mane 6 enter the Medium. Personally I recommend against it, since it's a waste to discard a vast setting with plenty of interesting characters just to remain true to the source material. Of course, in Homestuck the Medium was full of people went along on the ride (mainly the Guardians, but one of Dad's Serious Business buddies too), so it doesn't have to be that much of a barrier if need be.

One idea that just struck me: what if Sbale doesn't bring the players separately into the Medium so much as it brings the Medium to Equestria (or vice versa?) in some cosmic world-merging event?

I'm pretty sure we don't have to worry about the whole 'everyone dies' thing. After all, what else would Luna's mysterious shiny object thing do but save Equestria?

[Armok]

D'awwwwwww

[Violet CLM]

>R: Wake.
What, again? Didn't you just a few minutes ago... oh, of course. In the real world. Certainly, you can do that!



You wish you could say this was the first time you'd woken up to this.

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For those keeping track at home, we've now got to deal with Rarity, Pinkie, Twilight, Applejack, Cloud Kicker, Parasol, Sparkler (unless she ran away), Opalescence (unless she got killed), Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and also Spike all in the same place. Correspondingly, the next update may take a while; in the meantime, commands are encouraged.

[*Sigh*]

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Opalescence (unless she got killed)

This alarms me more than it should.

[Metaflare]

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[destinysWalrus]

> Spike: Be holding apparently dead Opalescence.
> Opalescence: Don't be dead. Suddenly decide you don't like Spike. Flip out.

> Pinkie: Continue being adorable and slightly creepy. Begin rambling about the disaster it would be if the pony equivalent of Santa suddenly went evil.

> Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: Cutie Mark Crusader Dragon Hunters? (translation: tackle Spike out of nowhere)
> Sweetie Belle: Be a robot, but also be unaware of this fact.


> destinysWalrus: Learn to give commands that aren't stupid.