The Demigods (The world's most ill-conceived fanficrossoverventure) [Text]

[Xindaris]

The Demigods
(The world's most ill-conceived fanficrossoverventure)

There is a world called Adventopia, and it has a lot of gods. Seriously. The pantheon is so ridiculously huge and convoluted that the people who spend time trying to list and categorize all those deities are regarded with about as much respect as stamp collectors because their work is going to become outdated within the month.

But we aren't here to follow around a bunch of gods trying to fight off demons and deal with unstable personal relationships that are also political. No, instead we're going to focus on some demigods. I don't know how many we'll end up with, but I do know how many we start out with. There are seven that I find particularly interesting, so I'm going to give you a choice of which of those you want to see first. Naturally, I can't just tell you who they all are before you decide, and I don't feel like drawing any sort of character select screen, so instead I'm going to give you a statement from each of the available persons you can be, associated with a number, and let you pick a number. Here goes:

1-"...Seriously?"

2-"Did YOU beat the god of chess, at chess? I didn't think so. So I'll be the one who makes the strategies around here!"

3-"You are not a worthy opponent. You will never be a worthy opponent."

4-"THAT WAS FUN! CAN WE DO IT AGAIN?"

5-"..." (Friendly expression)

6-"That is NOT how you pronounce the word! Repeat after me: Ill-leh-jih-tah-mitt."

7-"You know, why do I even bother saving you people?"

Get voting!

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AHAHA WHAT AM I DOING

Okay let me explain what this adventure is. It's kind of two or three things at once. First of all, it's a bit of a dare I'm taking on myself. The rule is this: The pool of major characters in this adventure all come from other adventures on this site that I read and enjoy. I can only take one character (for the major roles) from any single other author, so for example I can't use more than one of toastking's characters even though he's written like five different adventures. (I might include other characters from the same author in minor roles but I'll try not to due to my tendency of treating all named characters like important people). Anyway, I should explain that these characters have been taken completely out of their original setting, history, and plotlines, and are being fitted with new ones, keeping only my impression of their personality traits and a reinterpretation of their abilities.
My initial stated goal in this dare is to see how far I can go without taking a single homestuck character derivative, so no bloodswaps or setting-shift versions of those people for quite a while at least. If you have a suggestion for an adventure you don't think I've read that you would like to see a character from in this say so by all means. No guarantees, though.

Second, I just want to play around with some super-powerful characters doing stuff. Not every adventure has to be all serious plotlines or all about escaping a room or whatever, after all!

Third, I mean to advertise the wonderful adventures and authors I like and that I'm sort of stealing from for this little game of mine. So anytime I introduce a new "stolen" character I'll be sure to point you in the direction of his or her original context. I guess if one of them gets angry at me I'll do what I can to reconcile the situation. But I'm saying right up front, to any fans or writers of anything, that inaccuracies are likely.

[Doopliss]

>7.

[Magnum]

I dunno, 5 seems like the best choice to me.

[Xenocartographer]

Five.

[Xindaris]

5

"..."

We join a fellow looking down an incredibly cute woodland animal, being as friendly as he possibly can in its general direction. It seems he hasn't quite figured out speech yet.

No matter, however, because he knows what his name is! His name is TRI ENGLES. I know more about him than he does. I know, for instance, that he is eighteen years of age, with bright green hair and eyes and even a slight greenish tint to his skin. He is wearing jeans and a black t-shirt with the words "I AM TRI ENGLES" plastered on the front in bright, bright green. That's also why he figures his name is Tri. I mean, if you woke up with nothing but a T-shirt to supply your identity you'd probably just roll with it, eh?

I also know that he is half GOD! That's right. Actually, he's technically two quarters GOD! Because he is the grandson of both the goddess of creation, AND the god of memory. It sure is ironic that he can't remember anything before today. Actually, that's not so much ironic as sucky and expected. People who are the children of two demigods descended from different gods tend to have this bizarre problem, you see. Somewhere around the age of sixteen to eighteen, they suddenly wake up in a bed halfway across the world from where they just were with no memories. Well, no event-based memories. They usually have all the necessary functional memories, like how to breathe, eat, and talk. Tri here got the short end of the stick: He doesn't remember how to talk.

He has a most bizarre power, and is just now coming across it. He can store a copy of any concept or physical object or a number of other things into this special compartment of his memory where they are stored exactly as he perceives them at that moment in time. Then he can combine, delete, or recreate those things at will. However, this part of his memory is extremely limited in space, with only four slots at the moment. Maybe he'll gain more slots later or something, who knows?

Anyway, so Tri is standing at the edge of a gigantic forest, looking down at a cute little woodland creature with a friendly expression. What should he do next?

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If you didn't catch it, this guy is based on TRIANGLES from I AM TRIANGLES by NitroGlyde. It's an amazing video-game style adventure that might also be about an apocalypse of some sort, featuring a triangle shaped triangle with basically similar powers to those outlined here. As far as I know triangles hasn't really said anything so much as expressed it, hence the heroic muteness here.

So this qualifies here, as anthropomorphising, a literal TRIANGLE. Have fun with that.

[Uniquoi]

Cuddle the creature.

[Xindaris]

Cuddle the creature.

Tri attempts to reach out to the creature in order to pick it up and cuddle it (this is a small incredibly cute animal we're talking about here, after all), but it gets spooked and promptly runs up to the top of a nearby tree. And then it throws an acorn at him.
"..." He waves at the creature, trying to tell it that he is not a hostile hunter of its kind, look his teeth aren't even sharp! But it responds by throwing another acorn. What is this, Mutts?

It probably doesn't want a cuddle. He could probably abuse the heck out of his half-god memory powers to cuddle it anyway, he just needs to think of the exact sequence required to do so. Or of course, he could think of something else to do, too.

[Doopliss]

>Create some food.
>Give the creature false memories of you frequently giving it food.
>COMMENCE CUDDLING

[Kíeros]

> Walk cautiously closer towards it; maybe it won't detect you're a threat.

[Xindaris]

> Walk cautiously closer towards it; maybe it won't detect you're a threat.

Tri slowly and cautiously approaches the tree that the cute creature has already climbed up into. It throws another nut at him. Predictable.

>Create some food.
>Give the creature false memories of you frequently giving it food.
>COMMENCE CUDDLING

Unfortunately, Tri doesn't have any form of food currently stored in his special memory slots, which is the only thing he can create stuff from. He also has no idea what kind of food this woodlan creature eats. If they eat acorns, well, this one seems to think acorns are also ammo so it might end up being a mixed message.

In order to store a memory in that special place, the object of the memory has to actually be present. So, for instance, if there was not a single red thing within his eyesight, Tri could not store the concept of red in the re-creatable memories even though he understands it just fine! I guess I should probably start distinguishing normal memory from special memory, maybe by putting the latter in all caps or something.

His godlike powers have already been completely outlined; being only two-quarters god, that's all that he has. I should point out, however, that the ability can be used to completely broken ends if one knows what one is doing with it. You know what. Just this once I'll take the wheel, show you how it's done. From now on, though, Tri won't do anything this awesome without the necessary prompting!

First, he records the memory of the woodland creature. Then, he hugs the air and records the concept of himself hugging something. Then he combines the two memories together, which empties both slots and then fills the first slot with the new, combined idea of hugging the woodland creature. When he uses the stored memory, it stays where it is, and its use alters his nearby reality, creating a hug between him and the woodland creature. He cuddles it forcibly for another few seconds before it squeezes loose and runs away. Far, far away.

...Now what?

[Doopliss]

>Deeper into the forest! We must find interesting things to memorize!

[Xindaris]

>Deeper into the forest! We must find interesting things to memorize!

Tri heads deeper into the forest, trudging along the leaves..I guess it must be autumn, and these must be deciduous trees, because every step he takes comes with a crunch. It doesn't take him very long to get pretty deep in the forest, deep enough that he'd probably have a hard time getting back out to the way he entered. And then some fox just runs up in front of him and starts growling at him. He finds himself wondering why this particular fox decided to come at him like that, when foxes usually run away from people, and then wondering why he knows what a fox is. He starts backing away from it cautiously, uncertain of what it's up to.

[Magnum]

Tri: Copy the fox in one of your memory slots. Then place a copy of the angry fox to deal with the original fox.

Copy Fox: Gang up with the original fox and growl at Tri.

[Xindaris]

Tri: Copy the fox in one of your memory slots. Then place a copy of the angry fox to deal with the original fox.

Sure, that sounds like a great idea! Tri records the growling fox and then creates another one from that memory, in between himself and the original.

Copy Fox: Gang up with the original fox and growl at Tri.

The original steps forward, next to the copy, and they are both growling at Tri now. Okay, lesson learned, being created by Tri doesn't automatically make things on his side. Especially if it's created from the memory of something that is apparently angry at him right now.

"..." Tri attempts to put on as friendly a face as he can manage and back up some more, trying really hard to convey that he didn't mean to do whatever the heck he did to offend these foxes. And then he notices something that wasn't there before. Specifically, each of the foxes apparently has 4 tails. There was definitely only one tail each before. He gets the impression that something magical is going on here, but lacks the memory that foxes with multiple tails are always, always magically powerful, and generally to be avoided.

...What now?

[mysticCharlatan]

Tri: Memorize your fear. Actually scratch that, memorize the basic concept of fear, not your fear specifically. Then memorize a stick. Combine these memories into the STAFF OF TERROR, or at least THE STAFF OF MILD DISCOMFORT.

[Kíeros]

> It's two against one; you should probably abscond before things get worse.

[stagnantAntler]

> It's two against one; you should probably abscond before things get worse.

Does it have to be?

>Memorize yourself, then the concept of two identical entities (as represented right in front of you by the two foxes), then combine those two into the idea of having two instances of yourself. Use the stored memory to alter reality into an instance where you exist twice.

Now you're not outnumbered anymore P

[Xindaris]

Tri: Memorize your fear. Actually scratch that, memorize the basic concept of fear, not your fear specifically. Then memorize a stick. Combine these memories into the STAFF OF TERROR, or at least THE STAFF OF MILD DISCOMFORT.

Tri thinks about doing this, but gets the sense that the concept is not properly up for grabs in this particular situation. It's hard to explain--he would have to be able to detect fear, probably in someone else (or maybe in a mirror displaying his own face?) in order to properly record it. Things from his own mind seem to be off-limits for recording, which is why he isn't currently holding a sword that gives him the power to intimidate all foxes forever.

> It's two against one

Does it have to be?

>Memorize yourself, then the concept of two identical entities (as represented right in front of you by the two foxes), then combine those two into the idea of having two instances of yourself. Use the stored memory to alter reality into an instance where you exist twice.

Now you're not outnumbered anymore P

Tri records the idea of twoness, the idea of himself, and combines them to get the idea of copying himself. Then he uses it to create a copy and oh no.

Tri did something wrong. He is now in possession and control of two bodies simultaneously. It appears that the same person, agency, and memory is now tied to both bodies. This is incredibly disorienting!

>you should probably abscond before things get worse.

The foxes are starting to generate some sick fires somewhere in the midst of their tail tips. Tri attempts to turn around and flee, and only half-succeeds, running one of his bodies straight into a tree. He starts figuring out how to 'focus' on one body a little more, and manages to avoid a similar disaster with the body that isn't already on the ground.

He slows his pace after a few seconds or so so he can focus on the body that's down. That one flips right-side-up to find both of the foxes throwing fire at him. He dives to one side, but accidentally tells both bodies to do this and slams the head of the one that ran away against a tree trunk. Fortunately, the searing pain in his head fades after a moment, and then it feels like he's back in one body for now, since the other one's unconscious.

Tri gets a better look at what the foxes are doing as he dodges past another fireball, which lights the grass behind him on fire. It seems they can just sort of create fire in the middle of their several tails and then throw it by flicking the tips.

Well, he's already run away once, but if they keep this up the unconscious body might burn down with the forest. Should he try to fight back (and how) or run away again (probably how for this too)?

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I might as well confirm here and now that one of the initial 7 is 'based on' one of mC's characters. Won't say which, won't say who, you'll just have to find out later if you haven't already.
This game is relevant.

[mysticCharlatan]

*blush*

One of mine got in here? Aww, I'm touched.

>Tri: Run, see if your strong enough to carry your other body away.

[stagnantAntler]

>First, memorize concept of being awake and your duplicate, then combine them into an idea of your duplicate being awake. Actualize!

>Secondly, look at a spot as far away as possible, then memorize both of your bodies, combine them into the concept of you and your duplicate being out in that particular spot in the distance. Actualize! do this a few times to make sure you've escaped.

[Xindaris]

>Tri: Run, see if your strong enough to carry your other body away.

Tri decides to get right on running the heck away first, trying his best to go the same way he went before.

>First, memorize concept of being awake and your duplicate, then combine them into an idea of your duplicate being awake. Actualize!

Ok let's see here. The foxes are awake right? He can record the idea of wakefulness from them. So far so good. Now in order to record his other body he needs to be in its physical presence, which is good because he's already running roughly in its direction. He gets to it and records it, then combines it to get 'other-body-awake'. He just picks it up for now, recalling that it is incredibly hard to control both bodies at the same time, probably easier to just carry the other one, at least while his half-godlike-adrenaline rush lasts.

>Secondly, look at a spot as far away as possible, then memorize both of your bodies, combine them into the concept of you and your duplicate being out in that particular spot in the distance. Actualize! do this a few times to make sure you've escaped.

Being in a thick wood is not very good for this plan! Besides that, it would take two memory slots, and three of the four he has are full! The first one has the concept of the fox, the second one is full of the idea of two of him, and the third is other-body-awake. He'll need to decide what to delete in order to record more than one more thing.

So for right now, everybody better get out of the gods-danged way. He's got a back full of angry magic fire-throwing foxes, a forest full of fire, and arms full of himself.

Now, for the average person, it takes a lot of willpower to keep on carrying something as heavy as oneself while also running as fast as one can. That means concentration is important here--the last thing he needs right now is a distraction.

All of a sudden a distraction appears in the form of a bird flying up next to him before spontaneously becoming a woman. Even though he was right there Tri cannot perceive exactly how that happened. It's as if the image of the bird was just instantly replaced with the image of a woman next to him running.

The woman in question has dark hair, black skin with some stripes on it, long pointy ears, and yellow eyes. She is wearing a tan tunic, gloves, and goggles despite being a bird a few seconds ago. And I will leave it to her to explain the rest.

"HI WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING FROM?"
"..." Tri is predictably unable to answer. This doesn't matter much because she barely gives him a second's pause before continuing to talk.
"HEY YOUR SHIRT SAYS YOUR NAME IS TRI. MY NAME IS TRI TOO. ISN'T THAT GREAT? IS THAT YOUR TWIN BROTHER YOU'RE CARRYING? IS HIS NAME TRI TOO? EXCELLENT WE CAN BE THE TRIPLE TRIS. TRI BUDDIES! DO YOU SMELL FIRE?"

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Meet #4. It's Tri Raskul! I pretty much knew these two would meet quickly the instant I decided to turn "TRIANGLES" into "TRI ENGLES". Tri is from The Undercity by Crumplepunch, which I hold to be the most hilarious adventure ever discontinued. Still worth a read. But if you want to read a current work in the same world involving some of the same characters, he has a still-ongoing adventure too.

And, since Crumplepunch actually draws his adventures, I can link you to Tri's appearance. I've always imagined her yelling really loud as if she were hard of hearing, but I'm pretty sure CrumplePunch means for her to speak at normal volume, just really fast and nonstop.

[stagnantAntler]

Tri Engles: Point to the pursuing foxes then get the hell outta there and try not to be distracted again. Oh yeah, and delete everything except the concept of your other self being awake.

[Xindaris]

Tri Engles: Point to the pursuing foxes then get the hell outta there and try not to be distracted again. Oh yeah, and delete everything except the concept of your other self being awake.

While he isn't exactly sure how far behind him the foxes are at this point--because he hasn't exactly had time to look--Tri attempts to gesture vaguely behind him. Maybe the whole 'forest on fire' will be enough to give her the hint. And he frees up 2 memory spaces by getting rid of those memories. Great!

The girl Tri, meanwhile, turns completely around and starts running backwards, somehow still maintaining her speed. "WHAT'S BACK THERE? IS IT A FIRE? I THINK IT'S A FIRE. ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT WHATEVER MADE THE FIRE IS BACK THERE?"
He nods, glad at least some communication is taking place.

"DON'T WORRY, I KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO FIX THIS. THERE IS LITERALLY NO PROBLEM THAT CAN'T BE SOLVED BY THE LIBERAL APPLICATION OF EXPLOSIVES." And with that, Raskul draws a number of small explosives from her pouch and tosses them forward (which is Engles' backwards, just so we're clear). There is a series of loud BOOMs behind the pair/trio, and then even more of the forest is on fire.

That might have been a terrible idea.

[Huntress]

> Tri Engles: Try as hard as you can to say "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING" using only facial expression

[stagnantAntler]

> Tri Engles: Try as hard as you can to say "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING" using only facial expression

Tri Engles: Never mind, just keep on getting the hell outta there.