Magnum Head

[Trish]

> Once the Yellow Head is destroyed you need to remember to loot it for spare parts and valuables because Magnum Head is incredibly expensive to maintain.



Ah! Almost forgot: perhaps the most important step in giant robot fighting is the aftermath, during which you scan the enemy's corpse for usable scrap metal! You find this step tedious, but it helps upgrade your Magnum, which is a definite plus.

The next time you go to your mechanic John Generic (otherwise known as the Generic Mechanereric), you'll tell him to incorporate anything you find that may be useful, and buy the things that won't. Also to install more guns.

For now, you need to get your head in the game with fitting music for this massive battle!

> FIRE! Fire everything! No need to waste time aiming just fill the sky with bullets!



Eat this! MAGNUM HEAD - FULL SALVO!!

KIAI!!



==>



WELL SHIT, ASS, MOTHERFUCK. THIS GUY'S BARELY LOST A SINGLE HEALTH POINT!

[kabbage]

His hull is explosion proof! USE THE TESLA COIL!by breathing into the mic

[Godbot]

> Try biting it!

[Mibbs]

TRY SHOOTING IT AGAIN

[fictitiousCasualty]

> hit it with some bananas! That is obviously it's one true weakness!

[Godbot]

TRY SHOOTING IT AGAIN

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS

[wolftamer9]

> Shoot guns that shoot guns that shoot at it at it at it! And spitefully neglect to say Yo Dawg while you do so!

(Oh My God, this is so awesome)

[Trish]

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So many options...! I would have gotten around to some of these earlier, if I wasn't away from the computer for far longer than expected. Oh well. I can still work with it!

> His hull is explosion proof! USE THE TESLA COIL!



That plan would be BRILLIANT if you knew what the flippin' burgers a Tesla Coil does or how to use it! Besides, the Magnum Head's special power isn't science, it's AMMUNITION!

You should try shooting it with something you're more familiar with, like bananas. Yeah, that might be-

> WATCH OUT DUMBASS



OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! It seems Yellow Head is SEVERAL TIMES MORE LARGE AND POWERFUL THAN YOU! You should have noticed that earlier! You sure are lucky that thing busted into the Mess Hall rather than the pilot's room. Another 'victory' for crappy robot design!

Still, if the Yellow Head can attack this fast, you can't afford to plan very far ahead! Time for Glen Stiller to start thinkin' on his feet like the veteran he is!

> Try biting it!





OUCH, your Magnum Head has HORRIBLE BITE STRENGTH.

> Shoot guns that shoot guns that shoot at it at it at it! And spitefully neglect to say Yo Dawg while you do so!



Gunsgunsgunsgunsgunsgunsgunsgunsgunsgunsgunsguns

==>



Wait...what's going o-

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHWAHAUHAUHWAUHUHAUHUAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!! NOW YOU SEE WHAT HE DID. Drills coming out of drills and all that.

You guess that's what they call a...TOUCHE.

Warning! Incoming enemy transmission!



The display overlaid on Magnum Head's main window is starting to reveal a shocking message from your current opponent! All Heads have a built-in chat component, allowing instant communication with any nearby devices!

Simply put, he doesn't think you're gonna win this one.

Warning! Another incoming enemy transmission!



Wha- DID HE JUST INVOKE THE MEME?! NOW THAT'S JUST CRASS.

Fight, reply, or both?

[kabbage]

There's only ONE WAY to beat one who uses stupid and overused meme jokes. REPLY WITH AN EVEN STUPIDER AND MORE OVERUSED MEME JOKE!

QUICK! MAKE A SCI MIAMI JOKE WITH THOSE SHADES OF YOURS!

[Mibbs]

tell him memes stopped being funny in the 21st century and to get the fuck out of here until he gets some better material

[Ghnaggi]

Dammit! This just proves that Magnum Head still doesn't have enough guns.

There are two options here you can either break out The-Really-Really-Big-Gun, the one that you like to call... THE JAWBREAKER, or you can use your famous last resort attack

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MAAAAAAAAAAAAGNUM HEADBUTT!!!!!!

[Trish]

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OH MAN WHAT A BIG UPDATE well actually it was only eight pictures BUT STILL

In the future I think I'll try to limit myself a bit more. Somewhat. ...Maybe. Hey, gotta work on Equiquest too yo.

EDIT: Also, i JUST NOW NOTICED that the Really-Really-Big-Gin and the Jawbreaker were different things! Of course they weren't the same, it was obvious. Jaws have hardly anything to do with guns. I'm...I'm sorry. I hope I can be forgiven.

Oh well! Update's already done I guess so like totes whatevs.

There's only ONE WAY to beat one who uses stupid and overused meme jokes. REPLY WITH AN EVEN STUPIDER AND MORE OVERUSED MEME JOKE!



Yeah the year is freakin' 220X! You decide you'll counterattack with an incredibly outdated meme of your own.

==>



The pilot of Yellow Head responds by being a dumb.

What an ass.

==>



Okay, you're not feeding this flame. You tell him to basically GTFO until he can get some better material.

==>



Good work! It seems you've lowered Yellow Head's morale a bit! Now that the enemy robot is looking down awkwardly, you'll want to pull out your TRUMP CARD!

What trump card?



Actually, you have two trumps cards: one is The-Really-Really-Big-Gun, otherwise known as The Jawbreaker, and the other is a famous but highly dangerous last resort. Using The Jawbreaker requires all of Magnum Head's teeth to be in working condition, so you've plainly squandered THAT chance.

However, unleashing your second trump card will cause all guns to retract!

This is a risk you're willing to take, but just barely.

> Unleash your other trump card!



BET YOU DIDN'T THINK MY MAGNUM HEAD HAD MORE THAN JUST GUNS DID YOU?!

THE SPIKES DO TAKE UP SOME OF THE SPACE WHERE GUNS WOULD NORMALLY GO BUT THAT'S FINE BECAUSE IT ALLOWS ME TO USE ONE OF MY FAMOUS SECRET ATTACKS!!



MAAAAAAAAAAAAGNUM HEADBUTT!!!!!!

==>

[Godbot]

> LOOKS LIKE HE GOT A HEAD OF HIMSELF

[Mibbs]

LEVEL UP

[Trish]

> LEVEL UP



Magnum Head have successfully defeated Yellow Head! Magnum Head gained 486 XP.

Magnum Head leveled up!
BRUTE FORCE +5
UNDYING WILL +72
FIGHTING SPIRIT +0.3
KNOWLEDGE -4
BURNING DESIRE FOR REVENGE +930
DEFENSE +0

The following skills have been unlocked:

WILD ARMS - causes Magnum Head to grow one (1) arm.

> Reap spoils.



Yeah! Looks like the Yellow Head got pretty obliterated. It's just too bad you didn't start out with the Magnum Headbutt, since your guy sustained some damage. Hey, it made for an exciting climax!

After quickly checking the robot's exterior you have found:

Screws x83
Bolts x947
Gold x5
Titanium x31
Drills x10
Large Robot Teeth x1
Misc. Scrap Metal x275

This should be more than enough to net your Magnum Head some sweet upgrades back at John's! Maybe it could even build a new Head model, but seriously why would you want another one of those.

Still, there's one factor you've completely forgotten to take into account: the crew. As in the Yellow Head had a big crew that may or may not be alive.

Assuming anyone's alive and out to get you, what do you plan to do?

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edit: SORRY GODBOT THAT I DIDN'T USE YOURS IT WAS JUST TOO REDUNDANT.

[TVSmasher66]

Magnum Head: Sing a song of joy for winning

[kabbage]

Obviously the robot tooth is rare, so it will be used for a legendary weapon. Store it in your stash for later.

[Mibbs]

make a gun that shoots drills that are covered in smaller guns

[Tam Lin]

Forcibly GATTAI Magnum head with Yellow Head

[hypersheep]

pressgang any survivors

[r.fLowers]

> Ride Yellow Head like a horse while singing Eye of The Tiger and swinging the large robo tooth around in the air.

[Ghnaggi]

Find survivors. Demand they surrender immediately. Then tell them "Glen Stiller takes no prisoners!" And then walk away.

Obviously the robot tooth is rare, so it will be used for a legendary weapon. Store it in your stash for later.

I think the robot tooth came from Magnum Head to begin with...

[Trish]

> Pressgang any survivors.



That'd be perfect for a hard-boiled loner like you! In fact, you believe it's ENTIRELY POSSIBLE and even PREFERABLE to have a massive crew onboard!

You're somewhat bipolar.

> Forcibly GATTAI Magnum Head with Yellow Head.



You have not learned the skill GATTAI yet! Even if you had, it is a horrible idea to use GATTAI with defeated enemies! That would just make Magnum Head half-broke.

Nay, GATTAI is meant to be performed betweeen friends, or siblings, or rivals. When things reach the breaking point, when you feel you can't succeed without an extra hand in the fray,...that is when you GATTAI.

GATTAI can only be learned after boosting the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP stat. You have no friends, so your POWER OF FRIENDSHIP stat is -35%.

> Make a gun that shoots drills that are covered in smaller guns.



You can't do that! John Generic is your mechanic, and your specialty is killing and destruction, not building!

Until then, you can only store all your new items in the Toolbox over there. It can hold quite a lot.

> Obviously the robot tooth is rare, so it will be used for a legendary weapon. Store it in your stash for later.



You were kind of planning on replacing one of Magnum Head's teeth with this, but what's the point if the thing has horrible bite strength? It's a lucky find, too; most robots are built with pursed lips, and no teeth of any kind. This might as well be a NATIONAL TREASURE!

Instead you decide to store it in your Hammerspace, a form of inventory which is different from your regular inventory (the Toolbox). Using the three slots in your Hammerspace, you can store items of virtually any size. You generally use it to hold weapons in case of a sudden urge to beat someone up and, when necessary, the Magnum Head. The Toolbox is a nightmare to navigate, on account of it always holding thousands of items.

Long story short, you place the Large Robot Tooth in your Hammerspace.

It should make a useful club until you can get John to chisel it somewhat.

> Ride Yellow Head like a horse while singing Eye of The Tiger and swinging the large robo tooth around in the air.



You and Magnum Head sing a song of joy for winning while you shake around the robot tooth and jimmy around! You spend a shockingly long time just jamming like idiots.

> Warning! Enemy approaching!



CRAP- wait, no, that's not another robot. Just an idiot person, you think.

Even though the person is still mostly buried under rubble, you think this is kind of embarrassing.

Who is s/he and if possible what is his/her personality and if possible what is his/her general appearance?

[Godbot]

> She's the lady pilot who you had a flame war with earlier

Alternatively,
> Her specific role on the Yellow Head is flaming other mechs in the middle of combat

[TVSmasher66]

>Maybe this female is... the LOVE INTEREST *le gasp*