The Commandments of Shipping

[smograth]

I. Thou shalt not ship a human with anyone in blackrom.
II. Thou shalt not ship 15-year-olds (7 sweeps) with 13-year-olds (6 sweeps) or vice versa.
III. Thou shalt not ship AH with anyone except Vriska, because he told us it's okay. He doesn't want to be shipped with anyone else probably. (except for maybe Ms. Paint)
IV. Thou shalt not ship ships that have been rendered UNCANON. That doesn't mean the ones that just aren't there, it means the ones that explicitly ARE NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN EVER AND EVER.
V. Thou shalt not ship ectobiological relations.
VI. Thou shalt remember and follow these rules.
and of course

THE ULTIMATE COMMANDMENT

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VII. When shipping, one must ship them in character. or example, Karkat is an asshole, and he'll still be an asshole even if Redrom Shipped with Terezi. ---BubblegumPatty
VIII. You cannot be in an ashen and black relationship with the same person. ---OrangeAipom


What else?

Remember, this is only for serious shipping. No one's gonna stop you from writing fanfiction about Colonel Sassacre and Snowman.

[Kaleb702]

VII. All of these above rules are false excepting this one.

[smograth]

VII. All of these above rules are false excepting this one.

that's not getting in the OP :3

[Kaleb702]

One thing though: You expect shippers to follow guidelines?

They ship everything. Especially the taboo ships.

[Darth GW7]

VIII: There are no commandments for shipping.

[colwag]

Yeah this is never going to pass. Some of the impossible ships are the most fun.

Also, the problem with that second commandment is that by the time they actually meet, the younger kids will be as old as the older kids.

And the third won't stop the Hussie/MsPaint shippers, darn it. At least they have a relationship of some kind, Hussie just has a crush on Vriska.

Also I will never back down from my support of John/Jade. But I was a fan before that update that made it incest, therefore, I can grandfather that ship in. Woo for me.

[DoctorIcePopCat]

Some of the impossible ships are the most fun.

This is why I love crack shipping. Be it to generally just have fun, or to specifically fuck with peoples' heads.

[Conspicuous]

Also I will never back down from my support of John/Jade. But I was a fan before that update that made it incest, therefore, I can grandfather that ship in. Woo for me.

Please, John is a lousy romantic option for Jade.
She wants someone she can cuddle and protect or some shit.
I dunno, the girl's kind of a mystery to me.

[smograth]

One thing though: You expect shippers to follow guidelines?

They ship everything. Especially the taboo ships.

This is THE line that will separate the crazy shippers from the non-crazy shippers.

[colwag]

This is THE line that will separate the crazy shippers from the non-crazy shippers.

No, you need to make it more clear what sorts of ships you're referring to.

Like, I personally consider there to be two kinds of shipping.

SRS Shipping, or Karkat style shipping, where you support a particular pairing in canon. You want to see these two develop and have a relationship in whatever way you want in the actual comic. The ship must have some sort of logic and be plausible to accomplish in canon without flipping the entire story upside down. Like, Equius Roxy has no foreshadowing to it, and would require a lot of really weird things to happen that totally fuck over Equius' character arc and a few others in order to make it happen.

For Fun shipping, or Nepeta Shipping, is pretty much placing everybody in a sort of alternate universe where they can all meet and interact and do whatever you want. There's no reason why Nepeta and Dave are getting close and friendly, but boy aren't they cute when they do that? This is where you put your incest, impossible, or otherwise insane ships.

I do think it's important to keep these two separate. It's good shipping guidelines. :V

[smograth]

Yeah this is never going to pass. Some of the impossible ships are the most fun.

Also, the problem with that second commandment is that by the time they actually meet, the younger kids will be as old as the older kids.

but

how does that work

the older ones will be older too
and also if you look closely II actually covers that case

[Kyumorph]

Adding in here

Thou shalt not ship stridercest and then morally object to lalondecest

talked with a couple of people like this and basically fuck that noise

[Kaleb702]

but

how does that work

the older ones will be older too
and also if you look closely II actually covers that case

It's 3 years for the younger kids. Not for the older kids.

[Paninis Cupcake]

How about these ones?

I. Thou shalt respect other people's ships, even if they contradict thine.
II. Thou shalt respect canon and not turn thy characters OOC in order to ship them.
III. Thou shalt especially not turn thy characters into offensive gender/orientation stereotypes in order to ship them (like damsel-in-distress and seme/uke).
IV. Thou shalt not bash a character for being "in the way" of thine ship. Just leave them out of your story if thy must.
V. Thou shalt remember that couples have other sources of conflict other than someone trying to break them up.
VI. Thou shalt remember that couples can express love and affection for each other other than boinking constantly.
VII. Thou shalt remember thy characters' canon priorities. Unless it is IC for them, a Reckoning is usually more important than boinking.

Yeah, I've seen the bad side of shipping. Can you tell?

[ImperatorMortis]

Thou shalt not ship a human with anyone in blackrom.

I support this SO hard.

On Topic:

IX: Thou shalt not ship John with any male character. For he is not a homosexual.

[DoctorIcePopCat]

IX: Thou shalt not ship John with any male character. For he is not a homosexual.

I am now going to write a bunch of ridiculous crackships involving John just to spite you.

[ImperatorMortis]

I am now going to write a bunch of ridiculous crackships involving John just to spite you.

My plan has backfired in an ironic fashion.

[DoctorIcePopCat]

My plan has backfired in an ironic fashion!

Let's see here...

John Demonhead Mobster Kingpin's FETAL SEEDPOD
ooh, that will work.

[ImperatorMortis]

Let's see here...

John Demonhead Mobster Kingpin's FETAL SEEDPOD
ooh, that will work.

Isn't that seedpod is technically a baby?


You sick bastard!

[colwag]

Let's see here...

John Demonhead Mobster Kingpin's FETAL SEEDPOD
ooh, that will work.

Nah, it really doesn't. That's too silly to take seriously in the slightest.

Now, if I were to get out all the JohnEridan works...

I mean, it's even plausible! Eridan was crazy and stuff like Vriska, right? John would pacify and learn to appreciate him as well, and they would be able to bond over it! It'd be development for both of them, sorta plausible, and ALL SORTS OF BEAUTIFUL.

[DoctorIcePopCat]

I mean, it's even plausible! Eridan was crazy and stuff like Vriska, right? John would pacify and learn to appreciate him as well, and they would be able to bond over it! It'd be development for both of them, sorta plausible, and ALL SORTS OF BEAUTIFUL.

Mobster Kingpin was crazy long before Vriska and Eridan.

But, now we're getting off-topic.
Commandment: Thou shalt not get angry over shipping. There's no excuse. It's not serious. At all.

[Conspicuous]

Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

Sufferer said unto him, Thou shalt respect others with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

This is the first and great commandment.

And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt not give a fuck about what others fucking do.

On these two commandments hang all the ships and the romance.

[researcherWisemon]

My rules are fairly simple:

I. If it's plausible within a character's personality, Ship it. (IE: John's said he's not a homosexual. So no JohnXRandomGuy from this shipper.)
II. If it's thought of, it'll happen in an alternate Timeline. (Skaia's pretty harsh about dooming alt. time lines, but some of them may prove beneficial in the long run to support leaving the paradox in play.)
III. Your OTPs are your own, and may conflict or mesh with others OTPs as they will, but they do not over-ride each other. (Self explanatory.)
IV. Crack Ships are for fun, and not to be taken seriously. (Self explanatory.)
V. If a crack ship somehow comes off as a plausible ship, ship it. (You'll know these when you see them.)
VI. If two human characters are genetically related (Via ectobiology) they may not be shipped.
VII. If two troll characters are genetically related (Via ectobiology) who cares if they can be shipped or not?
VIII. If there is an age difference greater than One Solar Sweep, do not ship it.
IX. There is no rule IX.
X. Most importantly, have fun! :33
XI. There is no line between regular or crazy ships, if this violates any previous rules, this trumps it.
XII. All ships are valid no matter their cannon status or not.

[Jolts]

III. Thou shalt not ship AH with anyone except Vriska, because he told us it's okay. He doesn't want to be shipped with anyone else probably.

Come on, everyone knows that Hussie Rufio is the greatest ship in all of Homestuck.

V. Thou shalt not ship ectobiological relations.

And this one is practically canon for any ectobiological pairing involving Dave with all the times he's said how hot his mom is.

[smograth]

And this one [V] is practically canon for any ectobiological pairing involving Dave with all the times he's said how hot his mom is.

Freud ≠ shipping.