~ATH: A Programming Adventure

[guillotineGuardian]

So, I was looking at a programming thread, and it struck me, I couldn't seem to readily find one dedicated to the ~ATH programming language. So, I though about creating a thread were we could work on syntactical development of the language. Then I thought, "Screw that, making this into a forum adventure will be way more fun." So hey, here we are!

I really don't care what form the commands come in, I really just want to have some fun here. You can tell me to write code directly, or tell me to do something rather general (although I might ask for clarification on the latter). So hey, let's start!

KNOWN SYNTACTICAL STRUCTURES OF ~ATH

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person.item : Easy ~ATH method of getting at the possession of some thing person

For the purpose of keeping track of things. Didn't know where else to put it.







You have opened gedit, your favourite text editor. You currently run Ubuntu 12.04 built for generic x86_64 chip sets. Or something like that. Regardless, you're ready to dig in and start some ~ATH programming!



(Welp, tell me what to do then.)

[Reecer6]

>Import you and your house

[Sneak.QQ]

There actually was a post dedicated to ~ATH programming, I'm not sure what happened to it though.

>Write a program that makes you immortal

[guillotineGuardian]

>Write a program that makes you immortal

Woah, now, let's not get ahead of yourself! You're still a bit of an amateur at this whole ~ATH thing, and although you have some familiarity with the language, you haven't quite reached the god-tier status of other master ~ATH programmers. It'll come with time though, you're sure.

>Import you and your house

Well, you've imported yourself along with your house. It is apparently rather easy in ~ATH to specify someone's possession through the simple syntax person.item. You're unsure what happens when someone has multiple such items, though. Maybe it takes the one in closest proximity to you . . . ?

Now it's just a matter of figuring out what to do with yourself and your house.

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There actually was a post dedicated to ~ATH programming, I'm not sure what happened to it though.

Upon further investigation, I did find a few threads that dealt with ~ATH. They all seemed rather inactive, though.

[Fwee]

>Take one of your ribs and create a wife.

[guillotineGuardian]

>Take one of your ribs and create a wife.

Well, in order to accomplish that you'll first have to import one of your less useful ribs, and then the construct of a wife.




Or the function with which to construct a wife? You suppose that this is a valid import since constructs have a theoretically interminable life time. They're just ideas, after all. It's all about tricking the language into doing what you want it, you suppose.




That should do it. The program will now construct a wife upon the death of the author. Which is you.

[Jetroid]

>This will not do!

>Import Author.Computer

>Import Author.~ATH

[guillotineGuardian]

>This will not do!

>Import Author.Computer

>Import Author.~ATH

You find this completely unacceptable, of course. You must have a wife now! Not when you are dead! In order to do this, you must first import a few extra libraries with lifespans that are significantly shorter than your own.



There you are. Now only to modify the main loop appropriately:



Okay! So you've imported author.~ATH, which means "author till death", or "till death of author". So you've put that in the ~ATH conditional, meaning upon the death of the "till death of author", your wife will be constructed from your rib. Which you think means the same thing as the original ~ATH(author) loop. So you guess there's more than one way to do it? Fuck, this language is too confusing. Oh well, best we have to work with.

You decide instead to tie the main loop to the length of the computer's life.

[Halfblood2000]

> You destroy your computer right this instant, and get laid!... Okay, no. That would be lame. Besides, you are already married to your computer, aren't you?

[Jetroid]

For the line after the current line 9, add additional line, going something like:

} EXECUTE(construct.computer(author.computerremnants ));

Obviously importing the correct stuff and stuff...

[Fwee]

>Create a baby from your spleen.
>YOU WILL LIVE ON THROUGH THE PEOPLE CREATED BY YOUR BODY PARTS.

[hero122]

>Create a baby from your spleen.
>YOU WILL LIVE ON THROUGH THE PEOPLE CREATED BY YOUR BODY PARTS.

!
There's no way that could go wrong!

[guillotineGuardian]

> You destroy your computer right this instant, and get laid!... Okay, no. That would be lame. Besides, you are already married to your computer, aren't you?

Exactly.

For the line after the current line 9, add additional line, going something like:

} EXECUTE(construct.computer(author.computerremnants ));

Obviously importing the correct stuff and stuff...

In order to construct a computer from computer remnants, you must first have computer remnants handy. You import the handy "pulverize" function from the ~ATH library using the equally handy "from" syntax, along with the computer construct.









You then write the necessary EXECUTE structures and stick them in between the first one and the semicolon.



You suppose this is actually rather redundant as the computer will already be dead by the time these execute, but you aren't about to go and untype it. No sir, you stick to your guns.





~ATH, being the annoying language it is, will only let you act upon constructs that have already been imported! You must therefore set things up such that ~ATH will recognize that you don't have computer remnants at the current time, but will when ~ATH truly needs them. This is considered unorthodox programming practice by those in the ~ATH community, but you figure that since all of ~ATH is a kludge anyway, you might as well go ahead and use this easy technique.



There you go! Now when all is said and done, when your computer dies, a wife will be constructed from your 24th rib, your computer will be pulverized, and your computer will then be reconstructed from the remnants.

>Create a baby from your spleen.
>YOU WILL LIVE ON THROUGH THE PEOPLE CREATED BY YOUR BODY PARTS.

No problem. You shall create a baby from your spleen. Not like you ever needed your spleen anyway.





OH YEAH.

[Halfblood2000]

Suddenly, the power goes off. Your computer is "dead". The ~ATH code runs. DUN. DUN. DUN.

[guillotineGuardian]

Suddenly, the power goes off. Your computer is "dead". The ~ATH code runs. DUN. DUN. DUN.

You turn around, expecting to see your wife from your fourth rib, your baby from your spleen, and a reconstructed computer. You find nothing of the sort. You turn back to your screen.





You realize you failed to compile the ~ATH code, so none of it will run. Your generator comes on, and power is restored to your computer. You configured your computer a while back to restore itself to its previous state in case of power outage, and so you come back up to your previous work.

[Fwee]

>Create another wife from your heart.
>Then create yourself from your brain.

[Jetroid]

>Swap the author.computer on line 14 with neighbor.house and edit the code appropriately.
>Now go start some Arson.

[simon.clarkstone]

> Compile code.

[aattss]

Create a line that doesn't work like "akpds;mfpoa" so that it own't autocompile anyway.

[guillotineGuardian]

>Create another wife from your heart.
>Then create yourself from your brain.

Done and done.








Except you're creating yourself from yourself. Damnit. Oh well, stick to your guns.

>Swap the author.computer on line 14 with neighbor.house and edit the code appropriately.
>Now go start some Arson.

You'll start the arson soon enough. You'll have to compile your code first, though.

Create a line that doesn't work like "akpds;mfpoa" so that it own't autocompile anyway.

This'll totally screw shit up, but hey, whatever!

> Compile code.

You'll do that, but first you must name your program! What shall this program's name be?

[Halfblood2000]

> It must be COMPLETEBULLSHITBLUH.~ATH

[guillotineGuardian]

> It must be COMPLETEBULLSHITBLUH.~ATH

Hurray! You have named your program "COMPLETEBULLSHITBLUH.~ATH".

[Jetroid]

Make a new program.

[guillotineGuardian]

Make a new program.

Are you sure? You haven't even compiled or run this one.

[reactionResearcher]

>you compile that code this instant!