I don't really see anything wrong with your dude. I take it he's jade?
Also, regarding burn scars: Troll eyes are the only things shown to turn red when burnt. Otherwise, your troll's injuries would either be dark grey or their blood color depending on how severe you want it to be! You might want to add a further outline of dark grey (like the color shown underneath their eyes) around the scar too and see how that looks, I tend to outline any injuries I do in that way, like so:
Last edited by Thunder Reign; 08-05-2012 at 12:48 AM.
gif by scientificblues!!! | FANGAN TROLLPA: READ THIS DUMB FANVENTURE PLEASE
Yeah he is jade. He also has a pretty low opinion of himself. He acts like he is great as a sort of mask.
However I intended that to come into play sortof midgame as a personal quest/revelation thing. Which is why it's not mentioned.
Edit: In response to his questions.
He sleeps rarely and in odd cycles. Primarily to keep himself from being sneaked up on. The dude is a expert (he even actually is "The best in it" currently at the top rankings of the Junior circuit) of a art that is basically proving to people he can kill you. His house is rather easy to find but he he managed to avoid death, his house however has gotten plenty of graffeti on it, only some of it his. Their is a pretty big honor system involved in the art. It's based on a very real practice done by native americans called counting coup. In times of strife a brave from one tribe would go to another tribe's camp and leave sign of their passing, be it a flag or a drawing. This meant that while they could have caused great harm to someone they chose not to.
Why would this work for trolls? Simple, while Siniam would tag even highbloods, he avoids people he know not to target people who do not follow or atleast profess to follow this code.
If someone killed him in revenge they would basically be admitting, atleast privately, that they are terrible sports man. Even if no one else knows that person will know, and since Siniam only targets people who care about honor and the like, he remains physically unharmed.
A similar issue is how Vriska could kill many trolls and only got retaliation when it was a close friend. What siniam is doing is far, far less revenge worthy.
The nonsense sentence basically means he uses his own clothes as a canvas, his symbol is even on his shades. This follows his liking of the aesthetic and well himself.
Thus why he claims he is the trademark. The same symbols he leaves in peoples hive he carries with himself.
The issue is that art types frequently don't make sense when they talk about art. And Siniam is currently talking about art, being the art, etc.
Siniam's issue with the system is more one of paranoia. Like a hippie, Siniam has a intense hatred and fear of the system without knowing what it means. As he stated, the system is a vast network of things that are anti Siniam, basically he assumes he has his own hate based fanclub.
The actual system, or the hemospectrum, is something he doesn't care about, not that he doesn't care for it, he doesn't actually care at all about politics.
And yes, Siniam is really skilled, at moving silently and quickly. He really hasn't professed any other skill of his that is perfect or even really high besides stealth. How good his art is isn't actually something he even mentioned, just that he does it. So his is abbility at fending off foes, he can swing a polearm if he has to, but he can easily get overpowered by someone who practices.
Does he have negative traits, you admitted that his arrogance makes him seem unlikable.
Thus even though he is good at avoiding notice their is a good chance people wouldn't want to notice him.
And yes his lusus was really good at being a gorrilla, but Siniam isn't his lusus. In fact his lusus being great can also be a flaw cause that just makes the imps so much harder.
And no the quirk isn't particurally complex but karkat just had caplock on. And tavros's wasnt much better.
A thing about siniam is he is heavily based on the Kilroy graffeti. Kilroy graffeti was a image of one weird long nose guy that would show up everywhere with the phrase Kilroy was here on it.
Which is why the quirk is as it is. Especially when you consider the bizarre wording of the app is because that's how he talks.
Siniam talks a big game but if you notice what he talks up is very vague. His positive attributes atleast stated in the app are basically, stealth and being him.
So that's pretty much answers your questions.
Last edited by Nexev; 08-05-2012 at 01:45 AM.
And so my point is that we should get some sense of this low self esteem from the profile because the profile is meant to inform us about the character. You're not trying to surprise us with this. As written, the guy just sounds too good to be true.
Besides, 99% of us here will never read any of the sessions or adventures this guy is in so we won't see that happen.
I am often on Pesterchum with one of my trolls. Don't be afraid to troll them. (Tags are in spoiler.)
You've done a good job answering the questions here, but I think the issue is you need to answer them in the profile! This guys pretty cool, and he's got a great concept, but the way his profile is done takes away from that. I would try to find a balance between facts and in-character stuff. One thing that could improve this profile a little is taking out some of the affirmations of Siniam's spectacularity - right off the bat I can say that the lines "You rock, so much." "Yeah, take that." and the line about making a movie and it almost being as good as Siniam can be taken out! I'd also like to suggest maybe throwing in a paragraph outlining a little more clearly some of his faults, and then maybe adding at the end "Not that you'd acknowledge any of these. You're too great to have flaws" or something similar.
Also, I'd like to discuss this honor system business. There are some pretty big holes in this! First off, I cant imagine many trolls following a system like this. They are a brutal race, and I dont think having their hive - their property - tagged by some random troll would be taken all that lightly. Second, how would he know who follows this code and who doesnt? I imagine he'd actually have to talk to the troll to know if they follow this honor system, which sounds like he'd be running around tagging friends hives. I dont know about you, but when I talk to someone and become their friend, I dont leave notes around their house saying "Hey I could've kill you but I didnt. You're welcome! :)" you get me? :P Third, you bring up a good point with the Vriska thing: tagging a hive certainly is less revenge-worthy then killing thousands of trolls. But it's entirely possible that she's received retaliation before aradia, and it just hasnt been detailed. It's very likely that anyone who came after her just ended up as spider food. But just because murder is a bigger crime then graffiti doesnt make graffiti any less of a crime, so maybe get him to treat it more like what it is. "If I get caught doing this, it is possible that I will die."
Anyway cant wait to see a revised version of this dudes profile! Good luck :B
Last edited by canidaeVulpecula; 08-05-2012 at 05:16 AM.
Her head looks rounder now, which paired with the alignment of her face, looks better then before :B You should be good to go. His hat looks a little strange at the top, probably because the left side is taller then the right, so maybe round that out a little? Otherwise he looks lovely.
Also, I just finished this chickys profile so I'll throw it on here. I'll list what Im asking to be critiqued specifically at the end but as always Im open to anything you catch :B Thanks in advance
Your name is SYLKAA VLASTE, and your throne has been stolen from you.
Things I tried to get across with this profile:
Do you think I got these things across well enough? Does this profile seem too long, is there anything I should cut? On the other hand, is there anything I should expand on? Im also having trouble finding an appropriate place to mention her lusus. Its a cross between a pug and an angelfish named The Duchess Pugglesworth, who knows where she's currently located and visits her frequently. She also doesnt have a strifekind or fetch modus yet but I'll think of them later.
Edit; Im thinking Pugglesworth is pretty small actually so maybe I can throw in that her lusus lives in a fish tank now?? Hmmmm
Last edited by canidaeVulpecula; 08-05-2012 at 06:06 PM.
Mostly it's pretty good! Really the only problem is that it's tending towards being slightly rambly. As for the Lusus thing, I can think of one or two things, a being that you say her lusus lives in a fishtank at her new hive while talking about her hive, or that maybe when she mentions her old hive she could say her lusus is still there.
(I'm kind of bad at this oops)
Those paragraphs look much better :B I had been planning to combine those but hadn't got around to it, hahah. As for the minigolf thing, Im thinking her old hive has a field for it, but in this new one she just uses stuff she finds around. Sets up trash to hit the ball off of, digs her own holes, maybe uses a stick to hit the ball - stuff like that :P Anyway thanks!
Last edited by canidaeVulpecula; 08-06-2012 at 05:13 PM.
Here's my troll, I've been working on him on and off since about May I think. I'm not super great with profiles and I'm kinda long winded so... yeah. I probably need help with that.
I'm not entirely sure what trolls would call a FruitBat other than just well... bat. Or what I put up there.
Also, I'm not sure when eye colors fill in, but I think 9 sweeps might be a good age I think.
I don't know if I missed anything I needed to put in there >.<
Well, this didn't seem at all long winded to me. A bit short, actually.
This look any better on the hat?
Also, this girl!
Which hair do you think looks the best?
I'm fairly positive that troll's eyes only gain a ring of color around their pupil when they become adults.
See how his eyes are compared to my troll's?
Also I feel as if the picture has been formatted wrong? He looks really compressed. Compared to Sollux, he's tiny! Maybe you just made his hair/face too low but I have a feeling you may need to re-do his sprite. His horns also look a bit weird? Are they anti-aliased? On his right horn the bottom color is missing as well, I'm not sure if that was intentional or not, but I think it would be showing. His sign also looks a lot like Karkat's, you may want to change that?
Personally, I like the 2nd and 4th ones the best. The first picture makes her braids look too separate from the rest of her head while the third makes the left braid look behind her head. The boy looks good to me. They're both very well-done.
Also while I'm here, do these sprites look alright?
Is the male tyrian blood idea stupid? Is his hue too bright? (it's 322 currently) I can always tone down the color or even change it to a darker purple.
Also is this lusus too troll-like to pass? He was supposed to be based off of a siren, which are basically mermaids or freaky fish people that lure unsuspecting sailors into the sea. I wanted him to sit up on the rocks and lure trolls/lusii into the water and then drag them into the ocean. His bottom half is the lower body of a shrimp if you couldn't tell.
(Sorry for any resemblance to Sylkaa! I promise I didn't steal the sea-dweller anon concept from her, I've had this guy's sprite for awhile now.)
Actually I think all you'd have to do is remove the horns. Arthour didnt have them after all so why wuold this guy right :P
(Oh didnt see that little note till now. Dont worry about it! Im hardly the first to come up with the concept :B)
Last edited by canidaeVulpecula; 08-07-2012 at 04:28 PM.
I originally added them because I thought trolls would be hesitant to approach someone out by the shore when they didn't have horns, but I'll gladly remove them!
I'm glad I can at least keep the siren concept because I find myself really partial to it!
(uwu I've always liked sea-dwellers that go anon, it just seems neat.)
Do these look alright?
I fixed all of the text last night and added a bit more. He's not a very active troll with a big backstory, he just has the worst luck sometimes.
Reposting when sprite is fixed!
Made some new dress bottoms for her, not sure which one I'll be going with.
Anything else I should change on these kids before I move on to the dream selves and god tiers?
Last edited by Quizzle; 08-07-2012 at 08:58 PM.
Ooh the middle one for the braids girl is very cute :>
You would not believe how long it took me to realize they were wearing different clothes.
But yeah, they all look great.
Alright, I fixed his sprite up some. Changed the horns(The anti-aliasing thing was just how sai does binary.) around and his sign as well. I think the earlier problem with him being small was that I resized it too small (It was giant before). I feel as though I made it too big now.
I also revamped his text by adding in more details and making things a bit more clear.
So how is it now?
I cant crit the profile right now, but I can say you're gonna have to do the sprite again. It's pretty decent but its anti-aliased to all hell. Im not sure whats wrong with your binary tool but it doesnt look to be working properly. That or its being resized in something... Im not sure.
Other then the anti-aliasing issue, his mouth seems a little low, and at the bottom the shoes dont line up with the pants properly. Id suggest just going with Sollux's shoes if youre gonna use those pants, but just recolour them the colours you want.
EDIT;; I lied! Turns out I can crit his profile as we're now waiting on a friend. Crit in red.
Last edited by canidaeVulpecula; 08-07-2012 at 10:38 PM.