FANTROLL/FANCHARACTER CRIT THREAD 3: please read first post pretty please

[PoeSagit]

man making a troll is hard. yes english is my first language but thanks for the critique anyway. ill be taking this particular troll off the list so please ignore this troll as i wont be making any more posts about it or anything else for that matter.

@anyone who tried to help me

[Captain Whosit]

@Gazimu: Why is he wearing all white? Even if you were so lazy to use a generator (actual bases that look good aren't hard to find on this forum), why couldn't you at least crop the image so there's not so much dead space? The symbol color and typing color don't match, and the typing color is way too bright. You're also overselling the assassin thing: He's a paid assassin (which I don't think is really a great profession for a troll), he has an assassin symbol, his title is also assassin (even though Sburb titles should have only one syllable). Is there any reason he types using that quirk? This guy seems completely one dimensional.

I suggest that you make an entirely new sprite, and that you make significant adjustments to the character.

Though I see you've already posted him in the trollslum, so are you still planning to make changes?

@PoeSagit: Okay. Sounds like you're just giving up, but whatever.

[Gazimu]

I was planning to make major changes, its been a rough day and i honestly just slopped him together. I will fix these things tommorow if I don't get the chance tonight

[Thunder Reign]

Mmkay, changed things here and there and hopefully, it's better instead of worse ^ ^"

Crit in red, etc.

> Be the lifeless troll
Well look wo’s talking .


Generally, with troll sprites, color almost always signifies blood. Dressing like this makes him look like more of a blueblood than a yellowblood. I would change those pants to a grey of some variety.

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Your name is Tempus Erebus. I think I've seen about... ten trolls at the least who have "Erebus" in their name. If this is the sort of thing that bothers you then I'd suggest changing it; if not, don't worry. As far as you know, you are 7 sweeps old! You are unable to comprehend anything that is not within your interests, you’d much rather prefer to ignore the shit about all those things that you’re too lazy to give a thought about. You have a half-asleep disposition and have the tendency to fall asleep if left being bored or with absolutely nothing to do for too long. You consider yourself a mild OTAKU.

Whoa whoa whoa, back up. We don't know if Alternia has any of the "asia equivalent" type places that Beforus had, and as a general rule it's a good idea to avoid unnecessary Japanese words or references. I would suggest you replace "OTAKU" with "NERD", "READING MANGA" with "READING COMIC BOOKS", and then go on to specify what his favorite genre of said "COMIC BOOKS" are. If he likes shonen, you might say "You enjoy spending most of your time awake READING COMIC BOOKS, especially THOSE IN WHICH YOUNG ADOLESCENT TROLLS WITH IMPROBABLE HAIRSTYLES SPEND HUNDREDS OF VOLUMES RAISING THEIR POWER LEVELS AND LEARNING NEW TECHNIQUES TO DEFEAT THEIR ENEMIES IN AN ENDLESS SERIES OF TRAINING ARCS." That's humorous, and everyone will know you meant shonen. Just an example.

You enjoy spending most of your time awake READING MANGA and wasting your life away just for the heck of the temporary high and positive feeling you get from them.

Despite the fact that you love the anime and manga stuff to bits, it’s not at the top of your list. The thing that holds absolute control over your mind is FORGING. If forging is the most important interest, put it at the top of your profile! If it holds absolute control over his mind, why does he shit away so much of his time with the comics? You never really thought of selling your works though, as long as you get to work with metal, you’re happy making all those knives, swords, rings, etc. You could immerse yourself in making alloys and perfecting your creations without eating or sleeping for days. Unfortunately, your lusus doesn’t allow that. He hates it when you over indulge and likes keeping your health in check. You wish he wouldn’t stop you from over indulging though, it just kills your moments.

Speaking of your slightly over-sized carnivorous caretaker You haven't actually mentioned what species his lusus is. he seems to love going out a lot. You are never able to find him when you need him though, but when you don’t, he’s always there. You don’t know if he’s actually doing it on purpose or not. It doesn’t really get to you but there are times when you wish that you knew where he was. It would make you worry a less about him being eaten by another lusus.

On another note, you have the ability of PROJECTING IMAGES into other’s minds. Might want to specify what blood colors this works on, range of effect, etc. You’re not sure when you’ll ever find this useful. If it ever helps you in any way, you’d gladly kiss the feet of the first higher blooded troll you see. You DON’T GET the whole respect all higher blooded trolls thing some trolls just seem to get hung up on. Sure, they live longer and stuff, but you never ever got the point of why they’re superior just cause of their blood colour, it’s just too absurd. Fortunately for you, you don’t meet any of them often. In fact, you don’t even meet anyone often. Your only reasons for going out are just for food and occasionally when you run out of supplies for your works. When you do end up meeting another troll, you never really know what to say and the conversation ends short. You do however have a few you that you could maybe consider calling friends.

You’re not sure what you’ll be doing in the future, you never really gave your future much thought. You just hope that you end up doing something you like. Straightforwardly, you’re a LIFELESS SLEEP OVERDOSED IMBECILE. Your trolltag is lethargicMelancholic and you are somewat boring to talk to .

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Name: Tempus Erebus
Age: 7 sweeps
Gender: Female
Trolltag: lethargicMelancholic
Typing Quirk: Does not use the letter ‘h’, has a space before periods instead of after.
Strife Specibus: daggerKind,
Symbol: The alchemic symbol for the element Bismuth
Lusus: Vulture with lion’s tail
Extras: Tempus is Time in Latin while Erebus is the greek primordial deity of shadows or darkness

[Rizei]

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Crit in red, etc.

> Be the lifeless troll
Well look wo’s talking .


Generally, with troll sprites, color almost always signifies blood. Dressing like this makes him look like more of a blueblood than a yellowblood. I would change those pants to a grey of some variety.

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Your name is Tempus Erebus. I think I've seen about... ten trolls at the least who have "Erebus" in their name. If this is the sort of thing that bothers you then I'd suggest changing it; if not, don't worry. As far as you know, you are 7 sweeps old! You are unable to comprehend anything that is not within your interests, you’d much rather prefer to ignore the shit about all those things that you’re too lazy to give a thought about. You have a half-asleep disposition and have the tendency to fall asleep if left being bored or with absolutely nothing to do for too long. You consider yourself a mild OTAKU.

Whoa whoa whoa, back up. We don't know if Alternia has any of the "asia equivalent" type places that Beforus had, and as a general rule it's a good idea to avoid unnecessary Japanese words or references. I would suggest you replace "OTAKU" with "NERD", "READING MANGA" with "READING COMIC BOOKS", and then go on to specify what his favorite genre of said "COMIC BOOKS" are. If he likes shonen, you might say "You enjoy spending most of your time awake READING COMIC BOOKS, especially THOSE IN WHICH YOUNG ADOLESCENT TROLLS WITH IMPROBABLE HAIRSTYLES SPEND HUNDREDS OF VOLUMES RAISING THEIR POWER LEVELS AND LEARNING NEW TECHNIQUES TO DEFEAT THEIR ENEMIES IN AN ENDLESS SERIES OF TRAINING ARCS." That's humorous, and everyone will know you meant shonen. Just an example.

You enjoy spending most of your time awake READING MANGA and wasting your life away just for the heck of the temporary high and positive feeling you get from them.

Despite the fact that you love the anime and manga stuff to bits, it’s not at the top of your list. The thing that holds absolute control over your mind is FORGING. If forging is the most important interest, put it at the top of your profile! If it holds absolute control over his mind, why does he shit away so much of his time with the comics? You never really thought of selling your works though, as long as you get to work with metal, you’re happy making all those knives, swords, rings, etc. You could immerse yourself in making alloys and perfecting your creations without eating or sleeping for days. Unfortunately, your lusus doesn’t allow that. He hates it when you over indulge and likes keeping your health in check. You wish he wouldn’t stop you from over indulging though, it just kills your moments.

Speaking of your slightly over-sized carnivorous caretaker You haven't actually mentioned what species his lusus is. he seems to love going out a lot. You are never able to find him when you need him though, but when you don’t, he’s always there. You don’t know if he’s actually doing it on purpose or not. It doesn’t really get to you but there are times when you wish that you knew where he was. It would make you worry a less about him being eaten by another lusus.

On another note, you have the ability of PROJECTING IMAGES into other’s minds. Might want to specify what blood colors this works on, range of effect, etc. You’re not sure when you’ll ever find this useful. If it ever helps you in any way, you’d gladly kiss the feet of the first higher blooded troll you see. You DON’T GET the whole respect all higher blooded trolls thing some trolls just seem to get hung up on. Sure, they live longer and stuff, but you never ever got the point of why they’re superior just cause of their blood colour, it’s just too absurd. Fortunately for you, you don’t meet any of them often. In fact, you don’t even meet anyone often. Your only reasons for going out are just for food and occasionally when you run out of supplies for your works. When you do end up meeting another troll, you never really know what to say and the conversation ends short. You do however have a few you that you could maybe consider calling friends.

You’re not sure what you’ll be doing in the future, you never really gave your future much thought. You just hope that you end up doing something you like. Straightforwardly, you’re a LIFELESS SLEEP OVERDOSED IMBECILE. Your trolltag is lethargicMelancholic and you are somewat boring to talk to .

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Name: Tempus Erebus
Age: 7 sweeps
Gender: Female
Trolltag: lethargicMelancholic
Typing Quirk: Does not use the letter ‘h’, has a space before periods instead of after.
Strife Specibus: daggerKind,
Symbol: The alchemic symbol for the element Bismuth
Lusus: Vulture with lion’s tail
Extras: Tempus is Time in Latin while Erebus is the greek primordial deity of shadows or darkness

Well, knowing that the name's common somewhat bothers me, so yea i guess i'll be changing it.
Thank you, will work on the mentioned issues ^ ^
... >___> actually, this troll's female but I guess I'll say that she gets mistaken as a male a lot then. ^ ^"

[Thunder Reign]

omfg oops sorry

[Captain Whosit]

The reason your troll gets mistaken as a male is because you've drawn her as a male. Look at how the characters in Homestuck are represented. There are a couple of key features that are used to differentiate male from female: Lips and eyes. Females tend to be represented with full lips and males tend to be represented with flat-line lips (like your troll). Females are also given eyelashes, while males lack those. These are important indicators because the sprite representations of the characters are a bit abstract. There's more detail available in the talk sprites, but not enough to keep a character from looking androgynous or male.

So if you want your character to look female you need to change those things at the very least!

Additionally, "Tempus" sounds rather male, too.

[Zephyr Eculst]

Here's my rather unedited troll
Yes the profile is short

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Your name is Asteil Massin and you are seven sweeps old, living by yourself, and your lusus, in your hive up NORTH, you don't have that much company. That is really for the better though because you prefer to be alone, solve problems, think and occasionally beat the shit out of wildlife. You are a logical troll who believes everything has an order, and you must try to find this order. You spend any time that you aren't fucking around outside with enough layers of clothes to protect against Altenia's BLAZING SUN, any time you are not doing that you are inside, working on your THEORIES about the world. You always have something that you are working on though as much as you will deny it, most of your theories are STUPID.

Besides your prime interest of working on your logical theories you like talking to random trolls on the internet and besting their pathetic minds with LOGIC, occasionally you will find someone who is actually smart and will have a conversation worth remembering. You can't stand stupid trolls and feel it is your responsibility to put them in their place, you believe that is someone is not intelligent they don't have a place in the world. Only those who are truly needed will survive life, and helping to weed out those who can't help them selves is just doing them and the world a favor

You have been living in the north since you had your hive built here, you have lived pretty much alone and with nothing of import happening save a few discoveries that turned out to have been thought of before by some other smart troll, you live up in the north for many reasons but the most important one is your fear of being culled for your disability, you have MONOCHROMY, basically you can't see color. Despite your disability to see color you have an even higher respect for the hemospectrum than most of your caste, you would be even more satisfied if you could see the hemospectrum as it is, instead of just imagining it for yourself. Your other reasons are preferring to be alone, you don't want to deal with all the idiots in the world, you certainly don't want to waste your time with stupid people.

You trollhandle is frozenConjunction /\nd you type in /\ \/ery logic/\l m/\nner

[Captain Whosit]

Is there any point in there that you tell us what color blood your troll has?

[Zephyr Eculst]

Is there any point in there that you tell us what color blood your troll has?

oh gosh
>,< forgot to copy the bbcode
I feel stupid.
Navy blood

[Gazimu]

User: Be that formally dressed man.

(the image is behind the big scary spoiler :P)

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[IMG][/IMG]

You happen to become this dashingly prepared young man here. You are known fondly as TALMON BAROTT. Or as you are known online ascendingCaliber. Your title is SPY OF OATH and you pursue THE TRUTH. Even though your tendincies dont always seem to be the most truthful. such as MERCENARY WORK, and POLITICS. You enjoy the company of your OWL LUSUS, because he is a great letter carrier.

Your personality might be classified as CALM, COLLECTED, and CRAZY AS FUCK WHEN YOUR ANGRY. Your horns are curved in a downwards fashion. Although this is occasionally annoying, it sometimes assists you in carrying your JAVELKIND STRIFE SPECIBUS. Of course the javel you are talking about is the kind judges use to dismiss the people. People don't always particularly enjoy your company but you put it of to the side. You believe the main particular reason is because your particular title gives you a sort of built in lie detector.

You often COMPULSIVLEY CORRECT PEOPLE and feel unlawful when you don't. Your style is usually FORMAL and you can usually be seen wearing a SUIT or TUXEDO. You Flarp occasionally with your do- I mean action figures. And you are always the lawful judge. You like to think outside of the box and have the most interesting court sessions.

You have a medium shade of GREEN for your blood putting you in a respectable MIDDLE CLASS position. You 7end 7o 5peak in. A \/ery 5harp manner. For now you believe this is all and you think you should be moving along. What will you do next?

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for the typing quirk it is: 1=L, 7=T \/=V and 5=S. Also overuse periods. and replace commas with them.

I changed it a lot, clean slate and all. I'm working on the sprite now.

[artisticWanderer]

> Be the Secluded Artist

Your name is JAXSON NESTRA and you are 6 1/2 SWEEPS.

You pride yourself in being ONE OF THE BEST ARTISTS ON ALTERNIA and as such receive many commissions from trolls of all bloods, though most of the commissions from highbloods end up being anonymous,which of course comes as no surprise to you considering you are a MUDBLOOD and all. You DESPISE THE LOGIC BEHIND THE HIERARCHY ASSOCIATED TO THE HEMOSPECTRUM, the thought of discriminating against someone just because of the color of their blood doesn't sit right with you. You love to fulfill ART REQUESTS, except the occasional request for NUDE MUSCLEBEAST PORTRAITS, too many bad memories. You enjoy studying other artist's DRAWINGS AND ANIMATIONS so you can learn new ways to IMPROVE YOUR OWN ARTISTIC STYLE even further.

You enjoy playing all kinds of MASSIVE MULTIPLAYER ONLINE GAMES, which is surprising since you rarely enjoy FACE TO FACE INTERACTIONS. You'd partake in MORE EXTREME ROLEPLAYING every once in a while but ever since THE INCIDENT you prefer to STAY INSIDE to avoid pissing off the wrong person, though you've no idea who that wrong person is.

You specialize in the POLEARMKIND STRIFE SPECIBUS using any melee weapon that has distance. You prefer using a HALBERD most of the time, but the SCYTHE has always been a close second for you. For as long as you can remember you have made use of the POINT-OF-EMPHASIS FETCH MODUS which allows you to store objects by TAKING A PHOTO OF THE INTENDED OBJECT AS THE MAIN POINT OF FOCUS, being an artist it isn't too hard to find a good angle but more often then you like to admit you've happened to store a tree or two because of the contrast between the colors.

Your hive is an EXTREMELY TALL BUILDING consisting of five floors in total. You often GAZE OFF OF THE BALCONY to look for interesting landmarks and AREAS THAT MIGHT BE INTERESTING TO PAINT. Your lusus is possibly ONE OF THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE ONES THAT YOU HAVE EVER SEEN, when it is awake it usually BARKS ALL THE TIME WHEN YOU'RE AROUND but whenever you leave it alone in a room for more than a minute then you return to A PIGSTY FILLED WITH TORN ART PIECES AND RUINED FURNITURE.

Your trolltag is artisticWanderer and you ===> write all your thoughts down on small sheets of paper for future reference.[]

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I made his hair and Alternia Bounds sprite from scratch.

[Absinnu]

Whoa whoa whoa, back up. We don't know if Alternia has any of the "asia equivalent" type places that Beforus had.

"Alterniasia" is mentioned in some text to do with Damara in the last minigame update.

[Thunder Reign]

"Alterniasia" is mentioned in some text to do with Damara in the last minigame update.

Ehhhh still I think it'd be best if fantrollers left that the fuck alone.

[Anthiena]

Your name is VESNIA LUELYN and you are 7 SWEEPS OLD.

You call yourself V however, seeing as you HATE THE NAME YOU WERE GIVEN. You don't feel terribly like a girl and infact refer to yourself as a BOY. You mostly don't associate much with the outside world and wear various devices to HIDE YOUR BADASS PSIONIC POWERS. Actually, they are kind of mid level but they are high enough to get DRAFTED INTO BEING A HELMSMAN. You're SOMEWHAT PARANOID but you come across as considerate to your online chumps, if dry. You sometimes MESS UP on your social interactions but you mean well enough. You are known for eloquent, fact-based written riposte and would totally write for the upper echelons of society if you could-if some jokes didn't go COMPLETELY OVER YOUR HEAD.

You enjoy roleplaying of the pen and paper kind, though you're not averse to FLARPING, due to its no-powers rule. Your FLARP identity tends to shift every few months in accord with your current interests in the animation front, though some are more fondly remembered by you than others. You avoided TEAM SCOURGE as if they were the plague, which was very fortunate for you. After hearing some nasty rumors, you quit. You have your life and your heath. In recent years, you have loved the pen and paper adventures of RAINBOW DRINKERS, which you prefer to the PRETENTIOUS BOOKS, though you thought they were... okay. You guess.

You use TDDYBEARKIND, which sooths your frazzled nerves due to your PARANOIA. However, in a grief, it becomes much more useful as KNIFEKIND. When you fight, you get close and personal which has earned you some measure of respect. You avoid using your psionics out of that same paranoia. You bear your preferred FAVORITE URSUS PLUSH and you would love to have your lusus beside you but you don't. You don't talk about your lusus since she died on the front step of your hive, a small, humble affair for one of your caste. You spent a lot of time cleaning up your lawnyard and didn't come online or outside for a week. You really miss her.

Your trolltag is matriculatedApropos and you speak in an intelligent but mostly soothing manner, capitalizing only references to Yourself.

[Darkblood]

Posting this here, Need to get some good feedback on it. Speak your mind, I really love to hear what people say about it. Thanks in advance!

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Name: Kyle Saohon

Age: 17

Gender: Male

Character Outfit or Description:
Kyle dresses in what he would call comfortable and in fact it is. Always seen wearing some type of dress pants and a vest he always manages to look like a normal rich kid. The real kicker being that he does this all out of habit. He has a few old clothes that he wears from time to time as a way to annoy his grandfather. He normal wardrobe is as follows. A standard white dress shirt. followed by a green or white vest. Following this is either a pair of black dress pants or a pair of khaki ones. His shoes are usually a pair of black dress shoes or occasionally a pair of sneakers when he is in the lazy kind of mood.

Modus: Keyring

Strife Specibus: batKind

Guardian: Grandfather

History:
Moored out on the lakes of Maine lies the dock of the Saohon's. A family made rich in the lobster farming business the family has many properties throughout the united states. The only grandson of renowned Lobster Kingpin George "Claw" Saohon, Kyle is set to inherit the family business once he turns eighteen. While he has learned much about business he lives out his summer days in his grandfathers house on the coast of Maine. A large mansion that looks out to sea on one side and a lovely orchid on the opposite. Kyle spends his days in and around the place, watching over the family estate and practicing with his grandfather one of his passions, Baseball. Ammasing quite the collection due to his considerable wealth, Kyle keeps his priceless trove of cards under lock and key in the basement of his house. A family vault providing all the protection the pieces of cardboard could ever need. Besides this love of cards he also has developed a liking for things of the hard steel variety. He has recently purchased many books on smithing his own weapons and such and even had an entire wing of the mansion made into his own personal workshop. Because of the down and dirty style this work usually produces, he wears a pair of sturdy overalls and gloves for making his steel and iron. On his off times he hops up onto his computer to chat with friends. Not that he's ever met them...

Type Color: Something to this effect I believe.(#E5BF00)

Prospit/Derse: Prospit

Land: Land of Field and Tempest

God Tier: Knight of Breath

BLURB:
You are now KYLE SAOHON, a RICH kid by all means of the word. While you prefer people to call you a SNOBBY RICH KID, it happens anyway. Really all it's helped for you is make you immune to such insults. Actually you think you are pretty much a terrible option for someone to troll against. You don't get worked up at all and will sit there SMILING lightly. It's like you know just the way to get people annoyed. You are a pleasant person to speak to and you love to be that kind of person. You have the policy of keeping yourself online for friends to vent their anger or drama on. Hell it's better than walking around the mansion. It can be said that you spend to much time in your WORKSHOP, but someone has to make some sweet ass swords. In your spare time you play BASEBALL and collect the ever enticing CARDS as a hobby. Your family has the 'fortune' of having a very safe VAULT in which you can store your sweet loot. You are set to inherit your grandfathers company for your next BIRTHDAY, an event that is certainly fast approaching within the next 4 MONTHS. You despise this fact and have tried everything to stop it from happening. You have a small feud with your Grandfather, however you are both still on good terms. You annoy him with small grievances and for this he will remind you of the company. It is utterly idiotic of you both.

When you are not playing BASEBALL, making shitty SWORDS or collecting CARDS you are sitting at your computer, PESTERCHUM up and running and chatting with your FEW friends. Oh you poor sheltered manchild. When online your chumhandle is: hammeredFresh: You typically type clear and with perfect syntax and grammar. However everyone is not perfect and you sometime lose that touch.

Handle: hammeredFresh

[DRAVIL AGFAHY]

Sorry to repost so late: fixed the hair.



Crit?

[Thunder Reign]

Sorry to repost so late: fixed the hair.



Crit?

Looks solid. I guess maybe the black lines on her shoes might look nicer as a dark brown since it'd be less of a stark contrast but I mean that's pretty much all I can think of so good job.

[Rizei]

Again ... ^ ^

> Be the lifeless troll
Well look wo’s talking .

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Your name is Tempus Dormir. As far as you know, you are 7 sweeps old! You are unable to comprehend anything that is not within your interests, you’d much rather prefer to ignore the shit about all those things that you’re too lazy to give a thought about. You have a half-asleep disposition and have the tendency to fall asleep if left being bored or with absolutely nothing to do for too long. You are plagued by the misconception that you are a male, you used to think it’s because of the way your hair looks, but you’ve confirmed that you were just born this way. You’re not really bothered by it too much, but you did try having long hair once. Unfortunately it didn’t really help and it would almost constantly get in the way of what you love doing so much, FORGING. You never really thought of selling your works though, as long as you get to work with metal, you’re happy making all those knives, swords, rings, etc. You could immerse yourself in making alloys and perfecting your creations without eating or sleeping for days. If only your lusus would allow that, he hates it when you over indulge and likes keeping your health in check. You do however secretly indulge in comic books behind his back, it seems to be the only thing that you could do without grabbing his attention. Most of the time, you aren’t picky about the genre.

Speaking of your slightly oversized carnivorous caretaker, he’s a vulture with a lion’s tail who seems to love going out a lot. You are never able to find him when you need him though, but when you don’t, he’s always there. You don’t know if he’s actually doing it on purpose or not. It doesn’t really get to you but there are times when you wish that you knew where he was. It would make you worry a less about him being eaten by another lusus.

On another note, you have the ability of PROJECTING IMAGES into other’s minds. You don’t really play around with it much, maybe once in a while when you feel making some random passerby troll for fun, it doesn’t seem to affect those above jade blooded though, or maybe those blue blooded ones don’t seem to be disturbed by the images you send. So far it hasn’t really been useful to you, and you’re not sure when it ever really will. If it ever helps you in any way, you’d gladly kiss the feet of the first higher blooded troll you see. You DON’T GET the whole respect all higher blooded trolls thing some trolls just seem to get hung up on. Sure, they live longer and stuff, but you never ever got the point of why they’re superior just cause of their blood colour, it’s just too absurd. Fortunately for you, you don’t meet any of them often. In fact, you don’t even meet anyone often. Your only reasons for going out are just for food and occasionally when you run out of supplies for your works. When you do end up meeting another troll, you never really know what to say and the conversation ends short.

You’re not sure what you’ll be doing in the future, you never really gave your future much thought. You just hope that you end up doing something you like. Straightforwardly, you’re a LIFELESS SLEEP OVERDOSED IMBECILE. Your trolltag is lethargicMelancholic and you are somewat boring to talk to .

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Name: Tempus Dormir
Age: 7 sweeps
Gender: Female
Trolltag: lethargicMelancholic
Typing Quirk: Does not use the letter ‘h’, has a space before periods instead of after.
Strife Weapon: daggerKind,
Symbol: The alchemic symbol for the element Bismuth
Lusus: Vulture with lion’s tail
Extras: Tempus is Time in Latin while Dormir means sleep in spanish

[DRAVIL AGFAHY]

AHH YES ITS FINALLY DONE
rip at will
edit: talksprite up

Your name is DRAVIL AGFAHY and it is your seventh WIGGLING DAY. Congratulations, you have made it through seven sweeps without exploding in some POORLY PLANNED EXPERIMENT.

You have also made it through seven sweeps without exploding of SHEER FRUSTRATION, as you routinely note. The source of this anger is your lack of any PSYCHIC ABILITIES whatsoever, especially in COMMUNING WITH THE DEAD, where you are absolutely hopeless. Your psionic uselessness is confounding; after all, you are a LIMEBLOOD. One of your acquaintances is a grade lower, an ochre, and is also incredibly powerful TELEKINETICALLY.

You are SO FUCKING ENVIOUS. You are LIME with envy.

Regardless, you stubbornly refuse to give up and abandon PSIONICS, as you did with expressions of ABNORMAL STRENGTH. It's genetic, as you realized, and you simply do not have the HIGHBLOOD GENE. To make up for your lack of any outstanding inborn trait whatsoever, you devote a good chunk of your life to books of RITE and RITUAL, as well as RITES and RITUALS themselves; in the spirit of ceremony, you've torn off every Y and G key on every keyboard you've ever owned, modelling after your very first.

Your LUSUS is one of the RARE BEASTS descended from the legendary HYDRA. She retains the appearance and abilities of her bloodline. While she is no help in your relentless pursuit of MENTAL POWER, she has taught you the fun in LIES and FABRICATION. HYDRAMOM is the one directly responsible for your flippant attitude towards the truth. That being said, you are ardent about maintaining the INTEGRITY of KNOWLEDGE. It is only in regards to your own state that you stray from COMPLETE HONESTY. Your MOIRAIL takes this in stride, which you are secretly grateful for.

You share an interest in CHEMISTRY with him. Other things you enjoy include SYMBOLOGY, STUDY OF ANCIENT TEXTS, and RAISING THE DEAD, though you can only be sure that you'd enjoy necromancy, as you have yet to accomplish it. You are also an amateur ARBORICULTURIST. The tall trunks that surround your HIVE were all planted and cared for by you; they arise from a singular STOCK, the material of a TOWERING TREE you visited in your EARLY GRUBHOOD. Growing a specimen that SURPASSES IT has been a CONSUMING AMBITION of yours, although you are prone to saying otherwise.

You GRIEF THINGS with your trusty BAR STOOL; it occupies the CHAIRKIND Specibus. You STORE THINGS with your trusty BAR TRICKS; they occupy the SLEIGHT Sylladex. In order to remove a desired item, you perform FIXED TRICKS with a PROVIDED GLASS BOTTLE. Missing a move results in a START OVER; dropping the bottle results in the RELEASE OF EVERYTHING YOU'VE CAPTCHALOGUED, which is PRETTY DAMN ANNOYING. Using the chair is much easier; you just hit things and they RECEIVE BLUNT TRAUMA, which is PRETTY DAMN OBVIOUS.

You usually LIE for little reason. This trait of offhandChicanery [OC] makes itself known as ieour trollTaq, accompanied bie a quirk that likewise manifests with irreqular frequencie. Some trolls have complained about this. You onlie pretend to care.

[MC H+mster B+ll]

Er, I've been working on a Homestuck AU, and wanted to know if I could get some critique on the sprites and profiles. (I won't be making an adventure of them, I just want some advice...)

The AU is where Jick Egbert (Dad as a 14-year old), Jaxy Lalish, Roke Englonde (The memetic children of Jake and Roxy), and Dina Crocker (A theoretical sibling of Dad), all play SBURB. Er, yeah. So, would it be OK to put their profiles here?

[Monkeysky]

Er, I've been working on a Homestuck AU, and wanted to know if I could get some critique on the sprites and profiles. (I won't be making an adventure of them, I just want some advice...)

The AU is where Jick Egbert (Dad as a 14-year old), Jaxy Lalish, Roke Englonde (The memetic children of Jake and Roxy), and Dina Crocker (A theoretical sibling of Dad), all play SBURB. Er, yeah. So, would it be OK to put their profiles here?

Of course, we accept pretty much anything that isn't a joke character or cherub.

[supermindconcieted]

name:Malaya Hlayuu age: 6 sweeps
bio: you live in a lawnring, though originally, your lusus had lived and had taken you to live in the mountains. After you pupal stage, you met a group of trolls somewhat older than you and you even considered them you friends, though slowly, their constant bickering caused you to hate them with deep passion and move somewhere else.
lusus: gigantic three-eyes tiger
personality and stuff: you dabble in fine literature, occasionally, some complex biology, architectural design, mythology, and vast number of other things which lead to your being very well read. Your one true passion however is to make extremely detailed silk paintings and spend days obsessing over it. this leads you to be usually tired and hungry however. you have telekinesis and use it to open and close doors and windows and other useless things. the subjects of your paintings are usually images you see in your dreams- foreign deities, strange, almost disturbing worlds and a lot of other things that you somehow gain real-life information from through some indiscernible method. You are a little out of it most of the time because of this. You replace all s's with 5's and your trollian handle is corruptedTale. you are blunt, aggressive, sure of yourself and without any shits for the drama that you hate so much as well as a little horny all the time. You tend not to hold grudges as you usually don't care for how someone wrongs you. deep down, you hate yourself. you hate yourself because you'll waste your life away going with the status flow. you will reach of age and you will join the army, then after years of mindless slaughter and work, you will die by the hands of some insane highblood or some rebellious alien. you want so to go on an adventure and leave everything and everyone behind, and feed you insatiable need for mental stimulation and adventure.
--------( uggh, ok this is still in progress, but tell me what you think!)

[Reversed]

laright prepare yourself for my shit, its probably going to suck but whatever arty doesnt have a normal sprite btw.
ARTY:fankid


and IPEDIS:Fantroll

if any of you read it i'm sorry that you have to put up with my shit

[Captain Whosit]

I don't think "graviscirator" (you actually spelled that two different ways in the same paragraph) would be a thing. Based on Kanaya's intro we know two things: The preferred weapon of those who hunt the undead is a chainsaw, and that people who go after the undead with chainsaws are suicidal morons. You don't want to tangle with them, basically.