The Kanye West Phone-In Rap Battle

[Lieutenant Fish]

Alright errbody hi hello

forum "user" CHwoka and I have had found some arguments of late. This thræd being for the settling of it, I have made. in the only way we know to do, RAP BATTLE.

hey there My Man why are smiling like so
It's time to D.U.E,L. in forum thræd ok no
your forces have become outnumber one to zero
what's up with first thræd post chwoka "no-show?"

that is true I call coward I might also call nerd
and what is up in the air with such birds?
I'd going to seen you regret all those words
Cause I'm the Mad Shit and you're turbid turds

Ha, ha,ha,ha ha. Quickly try to relax
This could the last time find you to had chance
When the gone toughens to extent of Hard Hats
I am force to engage at LIGHT SPEED for last.

Long School Representer
Never Better
The light at the tunnel beg you to entered.
Eat you up like I'm goat
Your'e the sweater. !

DDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYMMMMMNMMMMMN

I can know what you'are thinking right at now
"oh known what at this for I can fight throw?"
Be able to say this: NOTHING, bad show
Your "ass" likened to grass and I'm HUNGER COW
(ka-chow)

For want of rap skill talent burning in check
What crowd think? I,ve ask them an it's "what the heck'
The Good Vessel String-hand smack hard of its deck
Fire Bug? Uh Huh Yeah. I'd rather to consume of Shrek.

I spared no expenses, wallet to elastic
Time to bag this up dude, paper and plastic?
And should not coward call him well male peer that fantastic
But it shall not hold its breath for such an unlikely events happenstance!'



Ooooooooooooooh. Hyeayah. what?

[Chwoka]

Woop woop, sound the alarm,
bringing down the punish stick like an old school marm.
That's the school bell, not an alarm, now class is in session.
Sit your Kriss-Kross,
applesauuuuce
it's time for your lesson today.

(History! No to the ledge!)

Then years ago, a friend of mine,
asked me to say some MC rhymes.
Or should I say Ex-Friend?
Because, donkeys and you share a thing:
you are the end.
...all, be the all, the please!
Your half-baked styles know they can't the compete.

My name's Chwoka, Chwoka, Chwoka, Chwoka.
C to the H to the W O K Oka.
Your name's Lieutenant Fish, Lieutenant Fish, Lieutenant Fish, Lieutenant Fish,
L to the I to the oh fuck this.
With a niggedy-name liggidy-like thiggidy-that,
F I S H incorporate into a flow?
...Never, no!
You'll won't be able to say this:
"NOTHING, bad show!"
It even be called rapping is you can't say your name?
Niggedy-name liggidy-lame,
thiggidy-that is insane.

(mouthhead.)

Everybody rapping like is it a commercial,
acting like their lives is a big commercial
a commercial for a shop mart, please
paper Or plaster? take your check in the mail
because you've taken fired by the fire plaster bag.
Under fire, what do you durn to?
The snail mail bag but it's just more baggage.
Weighs you down about e-ver-y day,
makes you slump around like a big fat Lay,
the potato chip, fire, engage.
You're the spicy time and so
am I not, if that's a bad thing bag.
You're Johnny Flame, jumping the gun.
I'm Johnny Rocket on a mayo-soaked bun.
You excercize your limbs almost dail
y, but I kick back and take it eas
y, raking in money from all those commercials,
Rapping like life is a big commerical.

Now what Now what Now what

edit: what

[Reecer6]

no wait you did it wrong, you gotta get the incomprehensible announcer to introduce the battle and then shout your names.

[Loather of Irk]

This vicious verbal sparring is cyberbullying, which I will not STAND FOR!
Time to intervene before feelings GET SORE!
Better ease off each other, and change your tone,
Cause the Mr. Rogers of rhyme has entered the rap-dome.

Y'all got bees in your bonnets so you rhyme with anger.
It sounds like shit and puts my brain in danger.
It could drop me to your level, like the Titanic's biggest anchor,
Weighed down with bearshit from the shoes of a billion forest rangers.

So let's do this right and clean those shoes!
Life is beautiful and so are you.
No need to be so fucking rude,
When instead you can be the coolest dudes.
Just do like the rap hippies of nineteen sixty two!

Peace, love, and screwing all night,
Your hatred's fucked up but you're alright.
Loop that guitar til your ears go numb,
Get out the bongos and add them drums.
Some prefer folk but folk music's dumb.

[Reecer6]

Jesus guys you're all doing this wrong
So I'm going to tell you like you were a gong
And my words are a mallet made of truth
Ideas will be flying and so will your tooths.

How can this be a true rap battle
If you haven't brought a drop of cattle
Or even a drop of cow blood
That is whacker than I thought anybody could

Be. By the way, it's not a rap battle unless you pay
And along with that, it can't be official without a welcome mat
A continutation, you won't get views unless you alert the nation
One last point, nothing's gonna happen unless you BREAK SOME JOINTS!

*and then i chop in half a cigar*

[Lieutenant Fish]

Whack! It's all whack I said. You hear me?
Take a crack at the pace I lead? Yeah Hardly.
Suckas have wracking their brain cheese
well oh pleased on't sprain nothing yall MC's

Hey Chwoka (enemy) have load at this guy
"peace guitars and hippey's"?" what a lie.
The [betrayal of one's intent] find right there of his [name]
Sooth, loather is Hater, don't call me surprise.

Reces Peces how nice to locate you
Now look through my eye as I laugh "no"
"no, no, no," dog puppy, see how
Your name in the Warzone? Untrue.

So stop sewing dischord also sacrificing cattle
I have here from (enemy) horse mouth: [12:15] Chwoka: no, this is a battle
mine flow as torrential downpour - - - yours is prattle
Prepare ye to drown in the sound of DEATH RATTLE

SHACKA LACKA SHACKA LACKA GWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHH

Where was I? Oh true indeed Unlikely Event
Then notify press in response to it yet.
He here now? What up. Appear I could lost bet
PROVIDED A "HOMIE" WILLINGLY TRUST [honor of one's opponent]

What is an inherent site of that which is your Flow Now
On account of how severe to those I'll make this Show Down
Runforsaftey? Good plan dude except there's Is None
Tsunami Warning Heavy Alert I Do This All Just For Fun.

Hurricane warlord without thing to lose
Parade? Drowned and Pulverized, thank you
Very much mælstrøm heading you're way dude
What's gone on hAha see you next June

[Reecer6]

hey
youre a really big jerk
im going to leave the pools in which you lurk
because i guess this battle will have no perk
if i can't even show you guys a picture of captain kirk

i just want this rap to go by tradition
with possibly some new additions
i took that as my grand mission
i guess i'll go back to the labs and do fission

WORD

[ProfessorLizzard]

I will move this to collab Arr-pee
if you don't like it imma call my friend Artie
he will convince you all tiny people
with his... powerful ...hair ...pull?

Well yeah, moving this to Collab/RP because it doesn't have rule system to be a game.

Word.

[Mechajin]

Whoa, Hey now. Is this thing dead?
If it is Imma start Seeing Red.
Ah well I may as well tell you my name and show you my game.
The name's Mechajin. To the M to the E to the C to the H to the A to the J-I-N!
Contrary to what you might think, you guys simply aint men!
When it comes to the flow, you're so damn slow.
I be dishin' out rhymes faster than you can say "whoa."
But if you think you're hard enough to take me on..
Come at me Bros!

(Yeah this seemed like a cool thing, and I didn't want it to die. :/)

[Chwoka]

Come at your bros and correct your typos?
How lame can you get with your shit-fuck flow?
Rhetorical question, you have to have known,
that you can't get lamer than a quick mark.
7-11, 2012, the 9-11 of 7-11s
Lame lame lame lame lame lame GWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHH
Yes that means you too, liuelametenant fish,
limping along like a lametenant fish,
limp dick wimp dick meet my whip dick
it's very thin

[Lieutenant Fish]

and being scrub as you is a punishable sin!
right there with dante is what written that's in
"il forum manifesto Chwoka è inviata al l'in
ferno." Hhahahhahahahahhahahahaahha say it true!
maybe burning grave consignment better company than you
127 3004 26.8 12,000,082
SEE LOOK I CAN RAP RANDOM NUMBERS TOO!
sounds like the right now
this movement of real kind of random enchantments
I'm back on track in the Horse Saddle
and if Rap is what you want then get in line, cattle,
serving up burgs left and right and Seattle
won't know what hit it when my flow encroaches upon its shores, killing hundreds and leaving thousands more without homes.

[Reecer6]

I'd like to note
that what you wrote
shows that you rhymed the number two
with a homophone, and that ain't coo'
so maybe you can't in fact rhyme a number
and with that i'll go back to my slumber

[Chwoka]

[20:55:43] <mibbs> lodgetrapped is too innocent to dislike
[20:55:56] <ThatGuy> unless you're the king of hate

I'm the king of hate!
There is none higher!
Sucker Mics, they call you SQUIRE!
Squire esquire S car Go
More like S chariot Go, [singing] S chariot go go go,
I'll never get off my high horse while you're in your horse saddle
or shall I say SADDLE, 'cause you're a sad man
a bad man, behind greenleaf
greenleaf was none higher my joy
Appropriate you're greenleaf 'cause you're a girl,
and who but my lady, greenleaves?
I can quote IRC too, and rap more numbers
8 6 7 5 3 0 shit fuck.

[21:05:31] <@LtFish> seriously lacking in weed imagery

4/20. Hitler's birthday, blaze up,
John-ny Flame, It's also earthday.
Birthday barthday.
warren g, nate dogg it's [21:05:36] <@LtFish> time to rectify
8 ate, see I can rhyme numbers, what did you call me, a homophobe? See I love gay people and not Hitler, but I certainly don't like gay people in a gay way.
Sooth, Loather is hater, or shall I say, haitler,

You
all
miss the point
the point
is me
the best they're'll ever be
the point
is not
dumb 2/2 (times 2) time
or rhyme
or point
or meter
or Ingles
-markets dot com. quick mark dot com.
So every rapper in the house shut the fuck up
out of our way as we tear the place up The place being the point The national language of America.

[Loather of Irk]

Hey now you're getting KIND OF RUDE
Don't make me resort to KILLIN DUDES
With rhymes that come down hard and fast
Gonna hit these Hate Kings with an KIND AND LOVING RAP BLAST

Just for you, I'm breaking out of 2/2
Going to do a CHANT ROYAL
You'll see what I can do
As the fucking HATE KING'S FOIL
Breaking molds,
Stepping on yo toes
With this garbage I won't ABIDE
Cause my pacifistic raps about to get your mind FRIED
I suggest you just let go the hate and break down and cry
Drop the dumb ""raps"" you shamefully consider deserving pride
THE TITLE OF HATE KING OUGHT TO TO DIE

Or should I say died?
Shit's already so old it might as well be mummified
Your fake hates like your rhymes, its all awry
This name you gave yourself, it has me embarrafied
THE TITLE OF HATE KING OUGHT TO TO DIE

[Chwoka]

"Hate king" ought to die? De La Soul is dead!
Me Myself and I? Pacifism pacifies.
Hip-Hop Hippy, hillbilly bellyflops.
Respectable they're both not. Your shit drops dead,
like De La Soul, mister, tread your water, tread that water.
Get bloated you'll blow up,
interrupted? We'll make you pop.
You see, this is our time, it's our time
it's our time, down here.
Fish, you see her? Good, now point your ear
at the point. Battling's an ocean, I'm leering at the pier,
thinkin' is Mr. Highwaters' Horse too good to get wet?
Maybe he thinks that's as good as it gets.

[Fish]

21:10 Loather starts gets out a bongo drum

starts gets out a bongo drum?
that drum's no more than a bucket of scum
a pingo, a pongo, a ping-pong pagodo
pagoda not pagodo kimona not komodo
since when does japanese into my rhyme?
these scumhumans better clear out from the grime
the grime that's their own not the sickness of home
sick being the word that is heard the tone of the time
the word salad green day hip hoppery festival
the breadstick pasta cheese olive black red trowel
this thing is getting away like roadrunner (he's gay)
not the cartoon the pizza service seen the other day
I know Chwoka looks down on those who aaaaaab rhyme
like it's some sort of capital(ist) crime
but it sounds good you know
like cream cheese and roe
'xcept that tastes good not sounds good it's still sickness yo
everyone trying to do their own thing
a thing that is separate like buffalo wings
not truly from bison, not even glitched bovines
but torn off a bird's back like hower of eisen?
his skill in wartime cannot be diminished
he finessed some golf way better than nixon
eisenhower aka tower of Isen
-gard that is from Lord of the Rings
sauron is nixon in this particular
frodo is ford
Gerald
Reagan the Gandalf went senile and died
rose anew as his party's mythical guide
Carter Butterbur wow this is nerdy too wordy too self-deprecatory too early I'm sorry

[Chwoka]

why are you trying
to list the presidents

make make make make 'em clap to this

[Lieutenant Fish]

I'm not bad as in Bad
Cause I'm bad as in ASS
yall are one-pound-wonders with one ounce of class
and that's cumulative!
get back in the womb you damn kids!
Dr Freud is coming back from the tomb for yall Ids!
you's is two-faced liars and half-assed hacks
and you're better step back when I blast an attack
check the map for Quack Packs and run for the shack
pick up some damn slack and stack up the back
of a safety tent
give up your eyes for Lent
sell off your opposition to me just to pay the rent
I accidentally just declared war on your head
there's a price out for ya marked preferably dead
I'm not going to correct this administrational oversight
message ends.