Plotless: The Wesker, The Shard, and The Hells Gate.

[boredCommentator]

Astra rolls four and thus goes two because of the jungle. She plays the lemonade stand card, adding several LEMONADE STANDS to the jungle. She puts several COMBUSTIBLE LEMONS into the LEMONADE RECIPE and summons the ROBOT to PREPARE AND SELL the EXPLOSIVE LEMONADE. Since it seems unable to WORK without a TRIBUTE/SOUL, she casts sacrifice (card cooldowns reset if stolen and/or traded). Since she did not really have any urge to sacrifice the souls of any of these characters, she sets it to RANDOM, causing a D15 to appear. On it, she rolled a 7, representing the person whose turn is seventh, AKA Mimic... Except for the fact that jungle reduces rolls by 2, meaning that NEVINE is hit with the sacrifice and now POSSESSES the ROBOT, having ALL of its ABILITIES, but being OBLIGATED to follow its CURRENT USER's commands IF GIVEN.
(and before you get all pissed, QofD, the roll was COMPLETELY random and I assumed the jungle effected ALL rolls. It very well could have been ANY character besides the 14th and 15th to roll)

[Silvak]

The tower card creates a large tower in the jungle, Epic can choose to enter it to view the entire scenery giving him insight on to how to maneuver the forest better it also grants epics next roll a positive chance, The Chimera that is summoned is hard to control however it will listen to epics orders through a D8 if epic rolls a 1-5 the chimera will not listen however if he rolls a 6-8 he will, there is also a chance of the chimera escaping if Epic does roll 1-5 too much

Astra lands on a chance tile, She can choose to insert a card for the chance of it upgrading, downgrading or losing it

Invukes Honey badger runs up to Zack and bites him

The -2 debuff is only placed into movement rolls

[boredCommentator]

Zack whacks the Honey Badger with the staff.

Oh, why the hell not?
She places the COMBUSTIBLE LEMON BAG card into the tile thingy, I guess. I mean, it's not like she needs it after moving all of the lemons into the Stands.

[Epic42]

Epic rolls a four and decides to enter the tower.

He then rolls a D8 to see if the Chimera will listen.

He rolls a 6 though it looked like it was about to land on a much lower number.

Epic:"Phew."

[Silvak]

Astra gets the unstable lime sack in return and the machine explodes

The Honey badger gives no fucks and aims for the testicles

Epic due to entering the tower first lands on a positive event,
Rare prize: Epic can choose one of the following cards to take
Sparkling ocean
float spell
helper imp
fancy looking throwing stone

[Epic42]

Epic chooses the Sparkling ocean card.

[boredCommentator]

Zack does the acrobatic thing that he could do anyway, then leaps downward. If this hits, it will collide with the honey badger's fuck-ungiving face. A giant D100 appears out of nowhere and rolls around as Zack descends. (again, actual Random Number Generator deciding this)
...It lands on 86.
Astra is knocked unconscious by the explosion for a turn.

[Silvak]

Epic rescieves the Sparkling ocean card

Zack manages to force the honey badger to give .1 fucks forcing it to retreat for the mean time and goes to attack the next victim being Crimson


Knorpel rolls his die, he rolls a 3 and with the harpy effect gains +2 making it a 5 he lands on the 9th square, On the 9th square Knorpel comes across a challenge tile and is battling a hobo
He chooses to use his stick, His chances of winning 1-2 he will lose 3-8 he will win, He rolls a 6 and beats the hobo, His stick is upgraded to bat

[blackjackal]

crimson rolls . . . a 2. as he sits not moving he sees the honey badger attack which he tries to stab it to death with his sword.

[Epic42]

Cecelia decides to use the Temporal Delay spell card on Knorpel.

[Silvak]

Crimson manages to slay the Honey badger and invuke loses the Honey badger card, Damn it just couldnt give enough fucks to avoid death oh well, A dank crusty man runs by crimson giving him a flask with liquid, Crimson receives the ???? flask

The temporal delay spell works and forces Knorpel to skip his next turn

Creepy frills loads a few quills from his porcupine and aims them at Epic

[Epic42]

Epic retaliates with the Chimera which he still hasn't used that 6 he rolled for. He sends it after Creepy frilly clothes guy.

[Cat Sage]

you show up and walk around, letting people know you're not dead, just being worked to death at your job.

[Silvak]

Creepy frills throws down his marsh card, All characters from 1-11 will have to roll twice on their turn, The first the deciding number and the second die will decide if the first roll works, If the player rolls a 1-2 there roll is void and if their roll is 3-8 they can proceed as usual. Creepy frills then casts blind on the chimera making the roll indefinite forcing the chimera to be stuck in the marsh

[QofD]

Nevine is a cyborg. Heck, yeah! She is suddenly running lemonade stands. ....

Vix rolls 3 and 4 whenever she's supposed to roll.

[boredCommentator]

Not a cyborg, genius. A possessed robot.
Astra had left a note telling Nevine to give the explosive lemonade to tired-looking and unaware characters, thus causing their untimely explosions, knowing full-well that the robot can in no way rebel until AFTER it's been destroyed and the soul is freed.

[QofD]

Must I? Something in Nevine's mind tells her yes. Fine.

[boredCommentator]

Mademoiselle Fluffin McSlaughterer II is in the midst of pouring tea. Mid-battle tea breaks were taken very seriously at her Alma mareter.
She does not find that joke funny, but calmly invites everyone else in the game to tea with her before she rolls the die and carries on.

[QofD]

Vix jnios her.

Nevine wonders if she could earn some time off work by bringing lemonade to the party.

[Silvak]

Creepy frills sits down and sips some tea

[blackjackal]

crimson joins but saves the tea for later to wash down what ever that crazy dude gave him.

[unqualifiedParadoixer]

Vel refuses politely.

[QofD]

When Nevine hears Crimson is going, she crosses out the "come with lemonade" idea.

[boredCommentator]

She begins shrieking unintelligibly, though she has a strange feeling that Frills will get it.
You sir, seem the type who is capable of understanding my species' tongue. Am I correct in assuming this?
She then sips the tea. It's... Rather bizarre to see her levitate the teacup behind her head and drink it upside-down, though that's not important.

Zack undeadily approaches and takes some tea. He downs several cups before Mademoiselle has to shriek at him to stop hogging it. He doesn't understand the words, but the message is felt.

[QofD]

Vix flinches a little, but assues that the shrieking is some kind of language.