Nix

[MythicalWashrag]

Escape using secret exit in prude closet.

[Everanix]

Eat a snake.

Disregard stealth, roll straight out the door

1. Snakes are people too, you jerk. Don't make me call PETA on you.
2. What do you think I am, some kind of expert on rolling? I've never rolled a single time in my life.

go play with a rainpuddle

Oh believe me, the thought is never far from my mind...

Summon one of your foreign internet friends to help you!

I go on my computer to seek help (or at least some sympathy) from my internet friends. Turns out they're currently discussing butts.



They'll be of no help to me at the moment.

>Exposit on book

This book is great and awesome and I've scribbled the general shape of the cover twice now and if you don't recognize it you're a terrible person and I hate you.

These are facts.

Escape using secret exit in prude closet.

The tunnel is only for the most dire of situations. God forbid you use it now and need it much more at a later time.

Wow, if this was the kind of story with plot that would probably sound like foreshadowing.

Good thing this story will definitely have no plot. None.

Really.

Clearly you must Solid Snake your way out of the house. First step: find a cardboard box.

Shit that's a great suggestion.

My face is breaking because of how great that suggestion was.

What have you done??????????????????????????

>Call Essu and proceed to have a feelings jam on the paper mound.

Eeeeeeeeh I'll use my cell phone if I have to, but....I really don't like talking on the phone. I'd rather feelings jam in person. It's always good for emergencies, though.

> Choose your weapon. If you have to leave your house to figure out what you forgot, you might as well be prepared for your mother.

Actually wait no, this guy is right. I need to establish an inventory and weapon before I can leave the house.

You can never be too careful.

Besides my weapon of choice, my backpack will hold exactly FIVE ITEMS.

What's it gonna be, folks?

Next Page

Author's note: I think I might need to stop replying to every single command...would people be offended if they didn't get picked every time? I'd do my best to keep it even.

[recalcitrantIre]

>INVENTORIZE YOUR OWN BUTT

this cannot possibly go wrong no siree

[thereminBeholder]

Equip yourself with a book. Who knows when that might become handy.

[MythicalWashrag]

Obviously the most important item is your utility banana.

Barring that, I guess you could take a book.
Or maybe a spoon.

Author's note: I think I might need to stop replying to every single command...would people be offended if they didn't get picked every time? I'd do my best to keep it even.

I WOULD BE SO OFFENDED YOU DON"T EVEN KNO- of course not how silly.

[xqz]

Is that a trophy on your bookcase take the trophy
And your lamp
And that basket these are all vitally important

[Destruction Dragon 360]

>Store your backpack in your backpack
>Create paradox, unlock infinite inventory.

[avolitionalArtisan]

You should take your book with you, because you like it and it is nice to carry around something you like. I think n umbrella would make for a decent weapon because it would double as an umbrella and you can even use it as a makeshift prude closet if you hold it on front of you when you come across people being overly sexual.

[Kíeros]

> You probably should bring a device with internet connectivity.

[Candor]

> Remember that chick in the dresser? If she can fit in there, she can fit in your backpack. You can probably find a way to weaponize her.

[Daniel990]

>Examine your hidden barn owl shrine.

[Askia]

bring your egg gun

[ArmsAreLoud]

Shellykind is the best strife specibus, of course.

>Nix: Flail Arms at opponents

[Wacom Guy]

Draw map of house

[Everanix]

Well alright first things first.

I kind of already put the Twix bar from my nightstand in my inventory.

I'm sorry guys it's just they're really good candy bars.

Plus they're Twix, which rhymes with Nix!

You can totally pretend that was intentional! Now we can all feel better about this situation.

As for the remaining 4 spots (and the weapon, which is separate of course because reasons):

Equip yourself with a book. Who knows when that might become handy.

I guess you could take a book.

You should take your book with you, because you like it and it is nice to carry around something you like.

Cool, The Witches by Roald Dahl goes right into my inventory.

I think n umbrella would make for a decent weapon because it would double as an umbrella and you can even use it as a makeshift prude closet if you hold it on front of you when you come across people being overly sexual.

Fuck yes



I feel so empowered.

> Remember that chick in the dresser? If she can fit in there, she can fit in your backpack. You can probably find a way to weaponize her.

Shellykind is the best strife specibus, of course.

Wow she jumped in there pretty quickly. Must be sick of sleeping in my old t-shirts.

I'm not sure how useful she'll be as a weapon, but every hero needs a badass sidekick.

> You probably should bring a device with internet connectivity.

Ah, see, here's the genius part! Of course I bring my laptop everywhere I go (I didn't even count it as a space in my backpack, it's that vital), but when I'm not sure I'll have an internet connection I also bring my magic box, which miraculously helps me keep an internet connection in all but the darkest and stormiest of times.

No, I don't know how it works.

It's magic, shut up.

>INVENTORIZE YOUR OWN BUTT

this cannot possibly go wrong no siree

>Store your backpack in your backpack
>Create paradox, unlock infinite inventory.

Is that a trophy on your bookcase take the trophy
And your lamp
And that basket these are all vitally important

bring your egg gun

Actually, the more I think about it, the more sure I am that it'd be better to leave that last space open.

Especially considering Essu usually lets me have coffee when I go to her house and I may want to stock up while I'm there.

So I guess the my inventory stands thusly:

Things like my backback, phone, clothing and laptop don't count in inventory spaces because I will always be carrying them.

ALWAYS.

So, we ready to go?

>Nix: Flail Arms at opponents

Alright fuck you Arms, I don't fl-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH



not a god damn word

Next Page

[Destruction Dragon 360]

Nix: Create a huge racket with your tumbling.

[Kíeros]

> Fall right out the door.

[Twisted Fireblaze]

Access computer
Torrent Fallout 2
Play
Be happy

[Flaise]

> Engage your mother in Strife, and then leave the house.

[Perfivale]

> Use adorable expression to convince your mother to let you leave

[BISlover4412]

>Roll into the wall repeatedly

[MythicalWashrag]

Oh no! Before you hit the ground, defeat gravity, level up.

[ArmsAreLoud]

> Use adorable expression to convince your mother to let you leave

Alternatively, tell her that the small woman in your backpack is telling you to do things and you must obey.

Trust me, she'll understand.

[Twisted Fireblaze]

Alternatively, tell her that the small woman in your backpack is telling you to do things and you must obey.

Trust me, she'll understand.

Alternitinavely Alterniviavely Run through the house screaming like a lunatic

You'll probably get similar results

[Freack]

>Eat Twix bar.