Gonna document the most punishingly impractical weaponkinds imaginable.
Things that should be added to this thread:
- Crude Demonstratory Doodles
From this image linked right here, I believe the eleven most difficult-to-use specibi would be as follows. Don't feel constrained by the Kind Abstrata, though. Bunnykind isn't on there. Bunnykind is the best. It can't be added to the list, however, because Bunnykind has limitless potential.
They will cower in fear of your might.
Unsure if it means a poker deck/chips, or a fireplace poker. I prefer the former. It's less practical.
Some sort of combination of blinding the enemies and physically beating them with the lamp. Invest in replacement bulbs.
Third-place trophies would naturally inflict less damage than first-place trophies. "Participation" trophies would deal more damage to you than anything else.
I guess you could clamp their heads between the pages. Or Sassacrush them.
Only the strongest man in the world could possibly hope to use this. Or, possibly, any woman.
Only effective against really slow ice monsters. Might be able to use it as a jet-pack.
Fire exits are giant structures made of metal grating. How anyone would hope to effectively use this in combat is beyond me.
This presents obvious difficulties.
Yank out their teeth. Then they can't bite. And maybe hit them with it? Or maybe try and rip out their throats... if they hold still for you.
If you get close enough you might be able to use it as a spinning blade death machine, but it'll probably just freeze up instead and do that clicky thing. Might be able to use it as a helicopter. Alternatively, it might be an asian-style fan, which is slightly more practical because you can attach blades to the end. But this isn't about practicality so we're going with the electricity-powered one here.
Or, here's a better alternative:
Chucking rocks at things actually doesn't seem all that impractical when I think about it. But it is regardless very silly.
Gives you a random weapon or attack. Unpredictable and frustrating if you're not Vriska.
It's a spear from Irish mythology that expands into a billion spikes when it pierces an enemy.
I imagine this would overlap considerably with nunchukkind or pendulumkind. You might also be able to use the little laser thing for eye damage. It's kinda like lampkind: blind enemies then physically beat them with it.
+2 against unborn infants. Yes, that joke has just been made. In all seriousness it would get bent out of shape or broken really easily, and the only thing worse than clthshangrkind is 1/2clthshangrkind.
Can't even give people papercuts; bills are mostly synthetic cloth.
Though the idea of weaponizing Boondollars is intriguing.
Jane Crocker uses spoonkind, though admittedly she alternates between forkkind.
Bagkind / Inventorykind
I was skeptical, but upon further reflection I support this wholeheartedly.
Nnnooooo, no no no no no no no.
Shove 'em up where the sun doesn't shine, that'll let those stupid imps know just how serious you are.
There is no such abstratus, useful or otherwise.
ADD OR DOODLE YOUR OWN GO GO GO GO GO